A Place to Belong
by KiliFanatic
Summary: Braerka was an adventurous young girl, who survived the wrath of Smaug and was adopted by Thorin Oakenshield, only to be given up on not too long later. Now almost two centuries have passed and as a trained assassin, and somehow still young, she has been given the task of ending his life. But will she? - Kili/OC
1. Chapter 1: Origins

**Chapter 1: Origins**

A young looking, curvaceous woman sat in a dimly lit tavern. She wore her hood up, hiding her auburn shoulder length locks, her coat was damp from the rain and mud was trodden into her well-worn boots. She sat alone in a dark corner of the room, fiddling with the braids in her hair and sipping at her pint of ale every now and then, watching the drunkards stammer and argue among themselves. She received a few unnerving glances from some brutish looking men, but on seeing the small armoury by her side they soon returned to ignoring her.

She sat and pondered them and their trouble-free lives. She envied them, she yearned for a true family and a place to call home, to belong, but all of that was lost to her long ago.

* * *

Fire blazed in every inch of her field of vision, the searing heat against her flesh made her scream out but no one could hear her. Over the screams of panicked mobs nothing could be heard, save the wretched howls of this newly arrived enemy and the loud crashes as buildings toppled like dominoes.

The small thriving city, that was once Dale, was ablaze, its residents either lying dead in the streets or fleeing into the surrounding hills. Among the crowds a young girl, no older than 10, ran for her life through the throngs of bodies.

She kept looking out for her father, who she had lost in the fray, the last time she'd seen him he was packing a small satchel with food, he had handed it to her and said, "Take this and go, get as far away as possible, don't stop until you're safe. Do you understand?" She had looked at him confused, she didn't fully understand, why wasn't he coming, but she nodded none-the-less. "Good Girl" he had said, and then the building creaked. Her father looked up, "GO, NOW!" he yelled.

She turned and ran to the open door and out of the house, just as she left the roof caved in. She leaped out of the way of falling tiles and the door as it collapsed. She saw her father trapped between fallen support beams, the debris around him was quickly catching fire. She moved forward to help him.

"No, do as I told you, GO! I'll catch up!" he managed to say between deep bloody breaths. She turned reluctantly and ran. He shouted one last piece of advice to her as she disappeared from view.

She dodged under toppled carts and over fallen neighbours. She remembered the last thing he had told her, "Don't stop running! You hear me?!" his voice echoed in her head, "You stop and you're dead!" The last part had scared her most and she didn't stop, not for anything or anyone.

The wind rushed around her, in synch with the incessant wing beat of the beast above. Fountains of flame and tongues of fire swamped the once peaceful streets. The guards had tried their best to fend off the invincible threat but to no avail, they were no match for the fearsome fire-drake. The mighty beast circled the feeble mess of flaming buildings once more before settling down some distance away, Dale had merely been an obstacle in its way, and had been swiftly removed, this creatures true goal was not the destruction of the once beautiful city, but the vast mountains of gold that lay deep within the halls of the great dwarf kingdom that lay on Dale's doorstep… Erebor.

The young girl ran, she ducked and dived and rolled her way to safety, all the while crying out for survivors, she had learned this from a story her father had told her, '_great heroes never just save themselves_'. She screamed at the top of her lungs. No answer came. She passed through what remained of the main gate into the city, barely missing some falling masonry as it melted and crumbled under the intensity of the fires heat.

She approached a few scattered crowds of people in the flat plains outside the walls, so few had escaped, less than 100 by the looks of it. She scanned their faces looking for a familiar one that could sooth her racing heart, and calm her electrified nerves. No such face was among those in the small panicked crowds moving away from the ruined metropolis. She quickened her pace and sprinted onwards towards other citizens who were taking refuge from the flames in the wide expanses beyond the city of Dale.

She slowed to a stop, and breathed deeply and heavily, she was beginning to lose hope, dark thoughts crept into the recesses of her mind, '_maybe he's dead, maybe he's still stuck in there and is screaming for you… begging for help!_' , all these and a million other thoughts raced through her brain. She turned to take in what was left of the place she had called 'home' her entire life. So many memories, both good and bad, this was where she had been brought into the world, this is where she had lost her mother to sickness, this is where she had been raised and schooled and now… it was gone, a pile of rubble heaped in a forgotten landscape. She had lost so much this day; she didn't want to lose her father too.

Inhaling deeply she prepared for the long run back into the city, she wanted to save him, she had to, he was all she had left in the world. Then she was off going as quickly as her short legs would let her. She sprinted past the people and stopped when she heard a familiar voice call her name through the muffled, angered babble of the remaining people of Dale. She skidded to a stop and looked around, she heard but she could not see who it was, "Come this way, over here" she heard, she followed the voice to find Marsha, her nanny.

Happy to see a familiar face she buried herself into the middle-aged woman and breathed in, the woman smelt of ash and brimstone, not what the girl had expected, she recoiled in disgust at the severity of the stench although there was no escaping it, it was all around her.

"Thank-goodness you're alive!" exclaimed Marsha, evidently relieved. She stroked the young girl's ashen hair revealing some of it true auburn tones. "Where is your father?!" she asked.

Staring up hopelessly at Marsha, who was several feet taller, the girl gave no answer. "Tell me! Please!" Marsha cried out, shaking the little girl, when she had failed to answer. There was a sudden loud bang and the screeching of metal. Marsha looked up; the child followed the woman's eyes to the onslaught taking place at the front gates of Erebor.

The great beast had torn through the mighty gates, all but tearing them to shreds, as she looked over she just caught a glimpse of the dragon's tail, as the fiery red calamity crashed its way into the dwarven stronghold. Looking down the path from the entrance she saw a small group of men, unarmed and battered from the initial attack, marching their way towards the lonely mountain to help the fleeing dwarves.

The eager youth started forward but was roughly tugged back by Marsha. "No, let me go! I can help them!" she pleaded, squirming under the nanny's iron grip. Dwarves came pouring out of what was left of the front gate, some were even sprinting, those lucky enough to survive spread out amongst the men of Dale seeking refuge from the terror within their once great paradise. The girl tensed slightly as she saw some of them were severely injured as they came out, some of these dwarves she called her friends, but were any of them still alive? She didn't know but she did know that she wasn't going to die, not today, and she would do all in her power to help.

Everything slowed, as people realised the worst was over, some lay down on the grassy slopes. Dwarves continued to come through the doors, though now their numbers were dwindling, fewer and fewer exited the once great bastion. Marsha loosened her grip on the girl's shoulder, allowing her run forward down the hill. As she approached the main entrance of Erebor, ready to help anyone, she was lifted by the collar and carried back in the direction of Dale by a strong, agonised looking dwarf, with long black flowing hair down to his shoulders. She saw their King, Thror, nearby limping down the pathway; he nodded to the other dwarf who had lifted her, as they walked down the pathway and sped onwards.

The dwarf carrying her spun around on hearing a deep rumble in the distance. It was the elven king, Thranduil and his legendary army approaching from a high cliff. The dwarf stopped a moment and shouted to them upon the hill, "Help! Help us!" The young girl clung to the ends of his tunic, taking everything in, the elf king and dwarf seemed to be locked in a telepathic battle, neither spoke but when Thranduil turned himself and his army away, the battle for Erebor was truly lost. The dwarf exhaled angrily and edged the young human girl onwards towards the crowds of men and dwarves, both groups now homeless came together in the open plains. A small number of dwarves had survived and even fewer of men.

The dwarf leading the young girl looked around in a state of disarray, nobody knew what to do and he was looking for someone, anyone, who had any authority at all. The crowds were dispersing, people who had lain on the grass got up and moved with them, the dwarves followed suit.

An older, wiser looking dwarf with a long greying beard approached him. "Balin" said the younger of the two, "What's going on?" He looked confused, '_where was everyone going?_' thought the girl, still clinging to his shirt.

"The only thing we can do… moving on." answered the older dwarf, defeat clear in his voice.

The younger dwarf was furious at this. "NO! We can fight!" he retorted.

"That will only get more of us killed, Thorin, it is not wise. You have seen first-hand the extent of Smaug's strength, a small battalion of dwarves won't do much against him!" stated Balin, matter-of-factly. The small glimmer of hope that had sparkled in Thorin's eyes faded.

He looked down at the small human child beside him. He turned to her and kneeled down to her level. He embraced her tightly as if he would never let her go and he stroked her cheeks, wiping away some of the dirt and ash smeared across her soft skin. He was trying to reassure and calm her; he could sense that she was feeling anxious and worried.

"Tell me" he said gently, in his smooth, commanding tones, "what is your name?" The young girl was shy at first, not wanting to tell this stranger who she was, but he wasn't really a stranger, she had seen him about before and now she knew his name, the least she could do was tell him hers.

"It's alright little one," Balin reassured her, "we don't bite."

He grinned at her timid snigger, his humour relaxed her a bit, and she breathed a little lighter and said, "My name is Braerka, Braerka Arkensan."

"Braerka Arkensan", Thorin repeated, placing a hand on her shoulder, "That's a good, strong name, never fail it, and stay true to it always." She was confused by his words, _'fail it'_, how could she fail a name? In time she would come to understand but at that moment the reasoning eluded her.

"Where is your family?" he asked firmly, his tone more serious. Braerka glanced at the smouldering remains of Dale, her heart sank, she hadn't been able to get back to her father, there was no chance he was still alive now. Her eyes dropped to the ground as she tried to suppress the tears she felt swelling up in them.

Thorin sighed deeply and looked to Balin; he simply nodded to Thorin and started to walk with the rest of the crowds. Thorin looked to Braerka; he stood up straight, cleared his throat and followed Balin. Braerka looked up after him, was he just going to leave her?

She mustered her remaining strength and sprinted up to his side and took hold of his shirt yet again. He looked down at her and half smiled, though the sorrow in his eyes betrayed the happiness, "Seems I'm stuck with you!" he chuckled.

* * *

The memory dimmed and faded as the woman came back to reality. Back then, on that very day decades ago, everything had changed for her, and not necessarily for the better. Those events and many others thereafter, had forged her into who she was today, tenacious, ruthless, and full of mystery and hope. She had learned to keep to herself. She had had to be mature from an early age, she was used to change and understood the world and the people in it, better than most, and sometimes it wasn't a nice place.

She had once been that little girl, innocent and afraid, she had witnessed the wrath of Smaug, survived it and lost everything she'd held dear in the process. But she wasn't that little scared child anymore; she was a fully grown woman, an assassin by trade. She had survived for almost two centuries, not knowing how, and she would continue to do so for as long as fate would allow.

She twitched in the direction of some rough-looking men, they had just said her name or something very like it, her heart raced, but she breathed deeply and calmed herself. She gulped down the rest of her ale and stood up. She slipped her travel pack over her shoulder, lifted her bow and knotted her sheathed blade to her belt. She made for the exit, as she did the group of men also stood up and followed, _'how am I going to play this?'_ she thought, smirking under her hood at the thought.

The biggest and roughest of the men menacingly came up to her, stopping her advance. She was small next to him as she was next to most people, she was only 5 foot and that was small for a human. '_Curse my height!_' She kept her eyes down and eyed the exit, a plan was coming together.

"Well, well…" he spat at her, "what do we 'ave 'ere?! A woman… a woman alone!" he turned to his group, "This little lady is one of a kind my friends! You're too young to be left alone in a place like this!" he winked at her as he said the last sentence trying to win her heart and failing miserably. She was used to it by now; she'd been around long enough to have had more than her fair share of men like this approach her.

"You up for some fun, honey?!" he said, licking his lips and chuckling. His men joined him in his laughter, she looked up to the barkeeper, he looked concerned and worried but he couldn't do much to help her.

All eyes in the tavern were now aimed at the spectacle in the centre of the room, everything was silent. She bowed her head, peaking past the corners of her hood at the other men.

"Cat got your tongue?" he sniped at her. "Maybe she's a mute!" suggested another from behind. The rest laughed, she was surrounded by 5 men now, things were getting tense, she had to act and soon. She stepped forward, trying to avoid a confrontation but they didn't make it easy.

"Where d'ya think you're goin' sweetheart?!" he walked up to her and grabbed her hips, that was it she'd had enough. She waited a few more seconds, dropping her bow to the floor as he caressed her curves, letting him think he'd won her over.

The other men got rowdy, he shut them up with a quick, "Yous can 'ave her when I'm done!" he leaned in to kiss her with his big greasy lips, his eyes were shut and that's when she struck.

With his arms loosely placed on her shoulders he had nothing to defend his pride with. She wrapped her arms over his shoulders and brought her knee up, with all her strength, into his crotch. He dropped in agony. The rest of his troop pounced on her, ready to take her on, she dodged their badly time punches and blocked their pitiful kicks.

She swung her left fist through the air, it collided with one of the men's faces, and his body flew backwards and slid over the top of the bar crashing into the glass bottles stored below. Another swung a knife in her direction, she grappled his wrist and pulled it hard, she twisted it and he lost his grip on the blade, she turned pulling his body to her back and elbowed him in the throat as she did, he also dropped, gasping for air and clutching his throat.

Only two left now, they stood there shaking nervously in front of her, they were afraid. She stood opposite them ready for anything. They nodded at each other and then both came at her at once. The smaller of the two swung his arms low; the other grabbed a nearby empty chair and raised it high above his head. She sidestepped the small man; he tripped forward, his fists meeting only air. Then she laid a powerful kick into the stomach of the other man, he doubled over in pain clutching his sides, consequently allowing the heavy chair to fall on his smaller ally, who was still recovering, neither of them would be getting up any time soon.

She lifted her bow, reached into her pocket for a few coins and left them on the counter in front of the owner, "For the chair" she stated plainly. He nodded, speechless. She turned and walked towards the exit, the man she had kneed in the crotch was getting up as she passed him. He lunged at her from behind letting out a battle cry of sorts.

With her lightning fast reflexes she grabbed a nearby bottle of ale from the table beside her. She swung around letting it connect with his head, it smashed against him, sending glass and ale everywhere.

He fell to his knees and leaned forward resting against her legs, quickly losing consciousness, "Who the 'ell are ya?!" he gasped, she shoved him backwards and he finally dropped into a heap on the floor, as he did she said, "My name is Braerka Arkensan, and you better remember it!", she announced it to the whole tavern as a message… and a warning. She tossed another coin at the barkeeper, to make up for the wasted ale, and with that she left.

The doors of the tavern swung shut behind her, those inside sat gawking at the pile of unconscious men, amazed by her actions. Each had the name 'Arkensan' burning into their cortexes. They were soon drowning themselves in ale again and mumbling amongst themselves about the night's events. No-one was forgetting that show in a hurry, especially those men lying on the floor.


	2. Chapter 2: Old Acquaintances

**Chapter 2: Old Acquaintances**

The harsh light of the mid-day sun forced her closed eyes open again. Braerka lay half asleep of the branch of an old oak, waking from a short nap. She had taken well to her life in the wilds of middle-earth and loved especially to be among the trees of the forests. The elves of Lothorien and Greenwood had taken to calling her 'The Shepherd of the Forests', as she spent so much of her time in them.

She lay there with the vastness of the Ettenmoors behind her, a light breeze was billowing past her, she messed with the blue crystal at the end of the chain around her neck, and she remembered her brawl with those men in the tavern the night before. She smiled at the memory. She had found out the man leading the group went by the name of Karsen and was known for his forward and unforgiving nature, he was also the leader of a notorious group of bandits called The Black Eyes.

The name came from the masks they wore on raids, jet black with no holes for their eyes, it was said to be unnerving to look at. Their most notorious member called 'Dead Shot' was a crack-shot with a bow and arrow; he always aimed for the head, particularly the eyes. He never missed. It was because of him that they were well-known throughout most of middle-earth.

"You had better watch yourself lass, they'll be coming after you, ya know!" the old drunk outside the tavern had told her. Braerka had laughed into herself on hearing this, she wasn't worried. Karsen could barely stand after his small encounter with her, if the rest were as 'well-trained' as him, they'd be no problem for her, the dead-shot guy however was slightly concerning, but if the 'blacks eyes' were smart they would do best to avoid her altogether in future.

She let her mind wander from that to the task at hand. Not two days ago, had she been handed a new contract by the assassin leader in Bree, Kembal, and she was not looking forward to completing the task, when she had read the name of her target, her heart had dropped and all had seemed to stop for her. Her target was none-other than Thorin Oakenshield.

* * *

"I will not kill him Kembal, not without good reason!" she had told him.

"You must, otherwise your life is forfeit!" he had warned her, pushing the contract into her hands. "The words of our canon state that we must complete all contracts given to us"

"Then give it to someone else!" she retorted, throwing the contract in his face, it fell to the ground.

"It has to be you…" Kembal shouted to her as she stormed away. She stopped, turned and regarded him with sharp eyes, he bent over to retrieve the contract, "…you are the desired assassin for this task. Only you can take his life."

She had looked at him then, with livid discerning eyes and disbelief written over her face. "Who made the request?"

He did not say, he only handed her the parchment, she scanned down to where the person's name should be… it was blank. She sighed deeply, nodded to him and walked away the contract in hand, she had no desire to kill an old friend, worse yet a former father figure, but she would see it done, one way or another, or be killed herself.

* * *

She was pulled from her inner turmoil by a loud bunch of travellers astride ponies. Bunch was a weak word to use, there was fifteen of them, the most noticeable being an old man, with a tall, grey pointed hat and a beard to match. They were chatting amongst themselves, and very loudly at that. She eyed those of the group she could see from the angle she sat at, deciding whether or not to make herself known to them. She decided against it. She sat on the strong branch of the oak, listening to their inane babble, picking up a few words here and there.

She watched them pass, and when they had moved a fair distance from her, she leaped into action, once again slipping her satchel over her shoulder and letting her bow join it. She ran along the strong branches of the trees, smoothly leaping from one to the next, swinging to some adjacent branches. She was quick and quiet and soon caught up to them. As long as they stayed near to the treeline she could follow them easily.

She sped up a few more trees to get in front of the group. She almost fell from the tree when saw who was leading them.

"Thorin?!" she hissed under her breath. He looked up in her direction as though he had heard her; she shrunk back into the foliage of the tree, avoiding his gaze. He looked old, tired but at the same time determined, set on his goal and as driven as she remembered him.

'_No! It can't be!_' she was in shock, how was it that the very person she was to kill had showed up in the very place she had went to avoid him? Maybe it was meant to be, was supposed to happen this way, maybe it was fate at work. She calmed herself when she realised she was getting ahead of herself, '_it's just a coincidence!'_ she convinced herself.

He set his eyes front again and she leaned forward to get a better look at the rest of the company. Her racing heart was slowing to its regular beat and her rugged breathing stabilised. She recognised a few other faces among the group, namely Balin and Dwalin, the rest were a mystery to her. She looked them up and down taking in every detail of their appearance.

As she scanned the long line of dwarves and saw too rather young ones lagging behind the rest. They were clearly sharing a private joke otherwise they would have been louder she guessed. The blonde one laughed rather loudly when the brunette had finished whispering into his ear. The brunette leaned back, upright on his pony, '_wow! He's…No! Stop Braerka! Don't think that!_' her conscience yelled at her. She was completely blown away by him; her heart had probably skipped a few beats. He was young and handsome and ever so slightly resembled a younger Thorin, although his features were softer and he had no substantial beard to speak of.

He smiled at the other dwarf's reaction. His grin spread from cheek to cheek and before he knew he was laughing along with the blonde. Braerka had to admit their laughing was infectious; she had to put a gloved hand over her mouth to stop herself from bursting out. They stopped abruptly when Thorin called to them, "Fili, Kili! Keep up!", "Yes Uncle!" the blonde replied. They spurred their ponies onward, still sniggering quietly, and caught up to the group. '_Fili and Kili… must be brothers_' she thought, '_who's who I wonder?_'

She got up and continued along the rows of trees gaining a few feet of distance ahead of them. She watched them pass again, this time she focused on the old man with the grey pointy hat. A mature looking hobbit rode beside him; he looked most uncomfortable on the pony and was constantly shifting about on the saddle.

The hobbit, looked around himself, in awe of the mountains, he turned to the old man and began, "So… Where are we now exactly?"

The old man looked over to him and answered, "Well, you are full of questions today, aren't you Bilbo?", '_so the hobbits name is Bilbo'_ she noted.

"Well those mountains are the Ettenmoors, we're in what they used to call the Troll-Fells, we're still some way off the misty mountains though" continued the man.

"Um… trolls?" said Bilbo, worried by the mention of the not so friendly beasts.

"Don't worry, there hasn't been a troll in these parts for an age!" the elderly man assured him. The hobbit looked convinced.

"Right, so, when we get to the misty mountains and beyond, find this hidden door or whatever, what then?"

"That I do not know, dear Bilbo, we will have to wait and see, won't we?"

The hobbit didn't look satisfied with the answer but he nodded, accepting the uncertainty of the journey ahead. Bilbo seemed a nice enough fellow but not the sort to travel much, he looked inexperienced and unsure of where he was and his question had proved it, this hobbit was new to travel.

They passed her for a second time, her eyes once again drawn to the two at the back, particularly the brunette. She shook her head, '_Stop it! Not the time or the place!_' she scolded.

She continued along the branches again, they pulled into an alcove of sorts, it was an open grassy area, and a farmhouse lay at its centre in ruins. They dismounted their ponies and began to set up a camp.

"We'll camp here tonight!" Thorin announced to the others.

"I think it would be wiser to move on, we should make for the hidden valley!" stated the old man.

Thorin moved up into the farmhouse mumbling something, the old man turned and joined him, they were now out of earshot, and she had no idea what they were saying. But from the look on their faces it wasn't good. _'Shoot!'_ she groaned under her breath, she tried to move forward as much as possible to hear without being seen, but the branch she was nested on began to give way.

On hearing the loud cracking of the snapping wood she climbed higher up into the tree and jumped to the next one across. Just as she pushed herself up the branch gave way and fell to the ground, a few members of the company looked over at the fallen branch. One with a droopy moustache and a floppy hat approached it and looked up at the tree she had been in moments ago.

"That's odd!" he said.

"Aye, strange indeed" agreed Dwalin.

Luckily for Braerka neither of them noticed her and they soon lost interest in what has caused it.

'_Phew!_' she breathed out, _'that was too close!_'

As she settled herself on the branch, the old man stormed out of the ruined building, his face fuming with annoyance.

"Everything alright? Gandalf? Where are you going?" asked the hobbit, clearly distraught at being left alone with the dwarves. '_Gandalf! The Grey! The Wandering Wizard?! No Way! What's he doing with a group of dwarves and a hobbit?' _she thought astonished, she had heard many things about the great wizard but had never thought him one for dealing with dwarves, they were a stubborn people after all.

"To seek the company of the only one around here who's got any sense!" the wizard replied, in a grumbling tone, walking up to his horse and mounting swiftly.

"And who's that?" asked Bilbo.

"Myself! Master Baggins!" Gandalf shouted, his calm demeanour from earlier was all but lost in his fury. "I've had enough of dwarves for one day." He continued, so quietly it was almost inaudible.

He trotted away, leaving his fellow travellers at a loss for words. _'What had gotten into him?'_ Braerka wondered. Her thoughts were soon answered when Thorin came out of the haggard shack, a glowering look on his face. "Come on Bombur were hungry!" he said snidely

As he said it the fattest of the dwarves sprang into action, a built up a fire. He was surprisingly light on his feet for someone so bulky. The rest unpacked or piled up wood for the fire, the branch she had caused to snap among the pile. A few of them settled on the grass and rested.

"Is he coming back?" Bilbo asked Balin, he was concerned for the wizard. Balin's expression was anything but hopeful.

'_Where are these guys headed?_' she wondered, watching them from the safety of the trees. '_And why so many? What could they possibly need so many for? And why was Gandalf with them? Why do they need a wizard?_' She had so many questions and no answers, as of yet.

She watched Thorin wander off back to the ruined farmhouse and stand under what was left of the door frame. This would be her chance to get things over and done with; she balanced herself on the branch and unslung her bow. She took an arrow and drew, inhaling deeply.

"Fili, Kili!" Thorin called, they stood up straighter as he did, "look after the ponies." The brunette looked displeased with the task but accepted his role, just as his brother did. They marched the ponies to an open area near a well, at the other side of their camp. They freed them of their heavy burdens and allowed them to graze on the fresh green pastures.

For a few moments she stared down the shaft at him, weighing her options. She could kill Thorin now, get it over with and continue with her life, or she could wait find out what their purpose was. She had vowed not to kill him knowing it would cost her life; but right now the want to not die was overpowering. She stared at him; he stood watching his company oblivious to her existence. She dropped her stance letting the string on the bow loosen. She would not kill him, the sense of home she got from looking at him was like a whirlwind drawing her in, she couldn't resist.

'_I won't kill you… not now, not ever…' _she told him silently, _'even if it means death!_' She put the arrow back in her quiver and slung her bow over her back. She finally exhaled and felt a wave of relief wash over her. Hopefully it had been the right choice to make.

She listened to them talk of food and how they yearned to be back at Bilbo's home feasting from the many delights he had offered. The hobbit scoffed at them, and then proceeded to tell them it was the first and last time they would ever experience it.

'_This isn't going to be very interesting…_' she thought, her stomach growled and rumbled in response to the dwarves talk of food. '_Hmm… I think I'll join you in your meal… figuratively speaking of course!_'

She quietly snaked her way back along the trees, leaving the dwarves to their business.

* * *

Once she had gotten a fair distance from the dwarf's temporary camp, she had descended from the trees. She left her bow against the bough of a great oak and walked several paces forward and set up a snare trap, the then another two nearby.

She retrieved her bow and walked deeper into the forest, she tossed a handful of bait down at the snares as she did. If she didn't catch a single morsel with this lot set up there was something wrong.

The areas surrounding the Ettenmoors, sometime called the Ettendales, was home to all manner of creatures, like deer and rabbits, but best of all… the white wolf.

The white wolf, though rarely found in the surrounding plains of the mountains, was a large wolf much like the gundabad wargs of the north; it was renowned for its tenacious demeanour but had the best fur and skin for fletching. Though their meat was tough and left much to the imagination with taste, it would be a good catch for her; she could get a new coat out of it and not go hungry. She laughed at her mindless optimism, the chances of catching one were slim, but she kept her hopes up.

Braerka had been hunkered down in a nearby bush for several hours, hidden in the undergrowth; it was late afternoon, around 5:30pm. She had her bow readied, an arrow nocked on the string. She sat alone and in silence waiting, ready to shoot. She heard several clicks from a short distance away; her snares had been set off. She turned to check them, 3 brown hares, _'nice'_ she congratulated herself, not a white wolf but at least now she wouldn't starve.

She sat a short while longer waiting for something else to come along, but nothing did. She resigned the arrow to its quiver, and slung her bow over her shoulder then left her hiding place. She collected the hares, tying them in a bunch by their hind legs. She felt a little sorry for the unwary creatures, earlier they had been hopping about munching on grass only to get caught in her trap and were soon to be eaten, but this was the circle of life, sometimes things like this just happened.

She cut the snare traps off the creatures with her hidden dagger, a trick the elves had taught her, in any event where she was captured or unarmed she would still have a way of fighting back. She returned the small pointed blade to her vambrace.

On hearing a low growling snarl resonate behind her she froze. She slowly turned around her face her adversary, crouched low in the grass behind her almost undetectable in the dimming light of the evening, was a white wolf. _'Stupid!'_ she scolded herself; she'd forgotten about the trail of bait, it must have attracted the beast.

She smiled at the beauty of the large dog, its thick almost pure white coat swayed softly in the evening breeze, its eyes like black glass marbles stared soulless into hers, despite the hound's innocent appearance she knew all too well its intentions. It had followed the bait trail for one reason, it was hungry and now she was on the menu.

It snarled quietly and crept forward laying its sleek body as close to the ground as possible. Braerka unsheathed her dagger, dropping the hares. As she did she heard another growl to her left, her head spun to meet the cold, emotionless gaze of another wolf.

'_Oh crap!_' she thought, reluctant to even breathe. She got up off her knees and balanced on her toes, keeping low in the grass. Her eyes finally adjusted to the dim light and she saw that there weren't two or three but four wolves converging on her position. This was a lot more than she had bargained for.

"Oh bugger!" she said aloud, fighting back the urge to slap herself, how could she have been so stupid as to put out too much bait and to not stay silent! She cursed herself over and over in her head, every second she spent doing so allowed the white spectre like creatures to creep closer and closer.

She slowly rose to her feet, and kept half slouched so as to not provoke a pre-emptive strike from her enemies. She started backwards, away from the organised pack in front of her. One growled and barked loudly as she did, it seemed to the alpha, bigger than the rest, whiter too, and giving orders to the lessers.

Braerka's calm outer shell was the only thing preventing her from screaming out for help, she had never dealt with this many wolves before, and never had they been white wolves. As the stories told, they were the worst to be cornered by and those who had encountered them alone never survived to tell the tale.

Braerka let out a deep breath she had been holding and then chose to straighten to her full height; this commenced the full frontal attack. The apparent alpha leaped into the air, bearing its large white teeth like daggers, its strong jaw open wide. The others hurried into action and began circling her; she had nowhere to run.

She ducked and rolled out of the path of the flying alpha and buried her dagger deep into the skull of another unsuspecting wolf, its lifeless body dropped limp to the ground. This act of brutality seemed only to enrage the others more, they were all barking madly, baring their teeth and baying for her blood. Another two ran at her, she kicked one, stalling its inevitable attack, and pulled her bow from her shoulder and whipped the other up the face with it.

Smoothly and at the speed of lightning, almost as if rehearsed, Braerka drew an arrow from her quiver and readied it on the bow; she drew and loosed it on a charging wolf. The arrow darted forward through the air and nested itself deep within the frontal lobes of the wolf, tearing at cerebral tissue as it forced its way deeper through the bone and flesh.

The others stalled in their approach, stunned by this action and unsure of whether to continue their assault. The alpha howled and approached her slowly; the others began to back off. Braerka was still on edge and not about to take any chances, she stood battle ready and prepared for whatever would come next, only she wasn't prepared, not fully.

The alpha sped past her, not even giving her a second glance, she turned a watched it go confused by how easy it had even up, this was her biggest mistake.

The next thing she felt was an excruciating pain shoot through her lower leg and up into her core, she screamed out in agony. _'A distraction! Smart bastards! _'She spun around and whacked the perpetrator full up the side; its bite loosened and it relieved its grip on her leg. The pain eased slightly but not much, she began limping away from the battle ground, swiping at any wolf that came too close, she sped to a run, the adrenaline numbing the pain.

The white demons, now fuelled with a new aggression, came chasing after her, 2 still remained strong and adamant on getting her. She skidded to a stop, turning to stab another wolf that had leaped for her neck, she tossed the body aside.

'1_ left!_' she exclaimed into herself, running again and not stopping for fear of her life.

She continued to run, even when she heard several loud battle cries from different places in front of her; she saw the light of the fire from the dwarf's camp ahead. '_Oops!'_ she hadn't meant to come this way, endangering these travellers was the last thing on her mind, but in the confusion she had ran in any direction that had seemed safe.

She ran up and passed a withered looking tree only to have her abdomen meet the flat edge of a steel war hammer, she was flipped head over heels, flew a few feet through the air and landed on her back.

Barely conscious and winded, she tried to get up, but only fell to the ground, her vision blurred as she lost all sensory connection to the world. She heard the pitiful whimpers and yelps of the alpha wolf as it ran for its life, and the swishing of the hammer as it split the air.

She lay on the grassy bank staring at the blurred forest canopy above her, a dark and shadowy figure came into view and loomed over her, and another smaller one appeared beside it.

An all too polite voice began in a whispered tone, "Look what you've done! I told you we should have waited a little longer before charging!"

The tall figure leaned in closer to her, she faintly felt hands griping her waist, "Shut it Ori and help me carry him!" said a rougher more aged voice.

"Um actually, I think it's a woman, Dwalin!" Ori pointed out.

Dwalin sighed angrily, "Just help me Ori!"

The other dwarf complied as the last of consciousness left her body. Braerka felt gentle hands taking hold of her ankles. The last thing she saw was the flickering of the fire nearing from a distance.

**A/N: Hey guys, seeing as this is my first fic I'm not expecting major reviews or massive views etc. but I would like to hear your opinions on where ****YOU**** think the story should go. Any suspicions, assumptions and ideas are more than welcome.**

**Anyways, thanks to those who have read so far, I plan to update this every 3-4 days or so, so until then enjoy :) **


	3. Chapter 3: Trolls

**Chapter 3: Trolls**

Thorin sat listening to the crack of the fire and was staring blankly at the myriad of colour at its core. The sun was dipping in the sky and the dark of night was setting in. He looked up when he caught movement in the corner of his eye. He was greeted by the image of Dwalin and Ori, whom he had sent to get more firewood; they were awkwardly dragging what looked like a dead body towards the camp.

Thorin stood up; the chattering groups around him stopped as he did, he walked over to investigate. The rest followed him with their eyes, all except Bombur who was enthralled by the meagre feast he was preparing.

As the burdened pair moved closer, Thorin prepared himself for what would inevitably be one hell of an explanation. They stopped in front of him and gently laid down the blood stained body. They looked at him unsure of what he could be thinking; Ori was evidently expecting the worst.

"Well?" questioned Thorin. His piercing blue eyes glowed ominously in the light of the fire.

Ori immediately burst out afraid that Dwalin would pin it on him. "We were out getting wood for the fire like you asked, and we heard growling and grunting and someone scream, so, we hid behind some trees when we heard something running towards us. He…" Ori finally stopped for a breath after speaking at lightning fast speed and was pointing his finger at Dwalin. "He swung his war hammer and hit her!" his finger moved to the unconscious body in front of them. Now more relaxed he finished his explanation at a slower more controlled pace, "then we dispatched the pack of wolf that had chased her."

Thorin stared blankly at him for a few seconds, Ori had always been a little eccentric but his rapid explanation had pushed him up on the mad scale. He looked to the body, and examined it, "Her?" he whispered under his breath quietly, Ori started up again hearing his inquiry, but this interest was solely for Thorin himself and not the others. Very few women travelled nowadays and even fewer did so alone, why was this one out?

Thorin spent a few moments taking her in; she wore what looked like a trench coat, made of buckskin leather, knee high gaiters over her leggings and heavy boots all of which were well worn and nearing a state of disrepair. She bore several belts bearing multiple throwing knives; and a bow and quiver was slung over her shoulders. She looked wrecked, she was covered in muck and blood, and she had clearly been caught off guard.

He worked his eyes from her boots up to her face. Her features were soft and young; she looked to be no older than about 20. She had naturally rouge lips, full and as red as blood. Her eyebrows were dark, and framed her almond shaped eyes. She had long wavy hair, down to her shoulders; it was a strong auburn colour, with reds and browns snaking through it. She reminded him of someone, someone he'd long forgotten about and thought to be dead. _'Impossible'_ he thought, eschewing the idea.

The unintelligible drone of Ori's voice rumbled on as Thorin looked the woman up and down. He raised his hand and Ori finally stopped speaking.

"It was an accident… I assume?" he asked, looking to Dwalin, who was leaning against his war hammer, his eyes directed to the ground almost as if in shame. He had never been one to let his emotions get the better of him, but then again to Thorin's knowledge he had never accidentally or deliberately injured a woman, of any race.

Dwalin raised his head solemnly and nodded, the look of guilt didn't sit well on his usually confident and strong features, and Thorin felt a small pang of pity for the old warrior.

"Well then…" Thorin began breaking the silence and trying to lighten the mood, "Oin see what you can do to help her, we don't want her to die do we?" The latter was directed at the whole company; they shook their heads and answered with plentiful 'no's'. Dwalin gave a small withering smile, which faded quickly, Thorin then laid a reassuring hand on his shoulder and returned to his seat by the fire.

Ori and Oin moved the woman, laying her down on an empty bedroll. Oin retrieved some of his medical equipment from his pack and began a thorough examination of her. He removed her coat and effects leaving them to one side. Thorin was shocked at the sheer number of daggers and small throwing knives hidden beneath her coat, _'Who was she exactly? And why did she carry such things?'_

He was about to fall back into his trance when he heard footsteps from the other side of the camp. A young blonde dwarf ran up to him, concern written all over his face.

"Did something happen?" he asked slightly out of breath, "Everything went quiet and we feared the worst!"

Thorin suppressed a chuckle; his nephews had such active imaginations. "No, Fili, everything is fine, we just have a guest is all" he told him, gesturing to Oin. Fili sauntered over to him and took a good look and the woman lying on the bedroll before returning to Thorin's side.

"Uh… what happened exactly?" he asked.

Thorin fully understood his interest in the girl, he was young and she certainly looked young too, it would be interesting to watch him try to court her when and if she woke up.

"She was cornered by a pack of white wolves then had and unexpected meeting with Dwalin's hammer."

Fili raised an eyebrow; she was a lot stronger than she looked to have survived a strike from Dwalin.

Thorin heard an almost silent 'humph' from his nephew. "You should be getting back to brother no?" he hinted to Fili, whose eyes were fixed on the girl.

Fili looked to Thorin, then to the girl, then back at his uncle, "Um… yes of course" he stumbled over the words not really wanting to leave. But Fili slowly made his way back to his brother, Thorin knew he would be telling Kili about this and that they would take about it for probably the rest of the night, again he suppressed a chuckle.

After watching his eldest nephew go, Thorin turned back to the fire. He glanced up to Oin, who was dressing a nasty looking bite on the woman's leg. Why was she so familiar to him and yet so strange? He gazed back into the heart of the fire and allowed it to hypnotize him once more; the voices of the others soon became muffled noises in the background as he was buried in his own thoughts and troubles.

* * *

Braerka slipped into and out of consciousness, barely able to stay awake long enough to acknowledge anything. She felt the warming heat of a nearby fire along her left side, everywhere else was numb. She remembered someone telling her that she would be alright and to relax, which wasn't hard, and then a foul liquid being forced down her throat. She remembered almost choking and falling back into unconsciousness.

Now she woke with a start, jolting upright at nothing. She immediately regretted her haste as an excruciating pain shot through her side; she clutched at her ribs and also regretted this as the pain doubled. The pain was like scorching fire penetrating her very being, she fiddled at the gem around her neck, it would alleviate her torment.

She took the blue crystal in her hand, brought it to her lips and breathed onto it, it glowed bright with a pale aura, and she let it drop around her neck. The blue glow intensified and focused around her injuries, the pain faded, along with the crystal's powerful glow. She sighed in relief, falling into the bedroll she lay on. The crystal had been useful in many situations, for it was no ordinary jewel it was a Soul Reaver.

Soul Reaver's were very rare gemstones, which held the power to prolong your life if you were nearing death or in serious pain, but at a price. For each use they removed ten years from your life, which for Braerka was no problem. Sacrificing such a small fraction of her seemingly endless life, was not such an issue in the want of seeing the new dawn.

She shut her eyes as she thanked the gods it had worked; lately the crystal had been temperamental, to say the least.

She snapped her eyes open when she realised something was terribly wrong. She looked around herself she was in the dwarves camp, the fire was crackling and there were many bedrolls set up. She had expected them to be as loud and audacious as they had been earlier but there wasn't a single noise, the camp was empty. '_Where is everybody'_ she asked herself.

She quickly slipped on her boots and grabbed one of her daggers from her belongings in the pile beside her. Standing up she took another look around, no-one, not a soul. Silence swept through the camp.

She walked up into the ruined farmhouse, to check if anyone was up there, still no-one. She dared a timid "Hello"; and with no reply she tried again, only louder, "HELLO!" she shouted, still no answer. _'This is strange!_' she continued in her head.

She walked to the other edge of the camp, and up to where she remembered Fili and Kili going to look after the ponies. Their faces came to light in her head as she remembered but she quickly brushed them aside when she saw what was left of the ponies. There were four or five missing she counted, and those that were there were tense and greatly agitated.

She approached a giddy chestnut-brown male, which whinnied and tossed its head violently as she did. She reached for its muzzle and began stroking its forehead.

"Shhh, it's okay, calm now!" she whispered softly into the males ear. It immediately calmed and began trotting away, only to stop and toss its head in the direction of forest. Reluctantly she followed.

"What is it?" she asked him, he softly whinnied and tapped the dirt with his hoof. He was trying to tell her something, there was something in the forest he wanted her to see.

She quickly stroked his nose again and then ventured out into the trees alone, with nothing but two daggers, she kept her eyes sharp. She walked past several large trees which had been uprooted and recently by the looks of it.

'_What could have toppled these trees so easily?'_ she wondered, then she heard deep rumblings in the distance, these were not the voices of any man or dwarf they were far too deep. She saw a fire ahead of her, and continued in a cautious crouch silently approaching the camp.

For a second she thought she had been going in circles when she saw three monstrous trolls, looming over an unbelievably large fire. Several of the dwarves were tied and hanging above it on a makeshift spit. The others lay not too far away, trapped within large individual sacks. The trolls were drooling over their catch; two of them stood turning the spit while the other sat staring longingly as his next meal.

'_Trolls?!_' she screeched into herself. This was not good at all; trolls weren't exactly known for their kindly manners but rather for their complete and utter idiocy and insatiable hunger for anything and everything that moved (and was edible).

She sat listening to them argue amongst themselves of how they would cook the dwarves, she didn't take any of the nonsense in however; she was more focused on getting the dwarves and the hobbit out of it alive.

She began moving around the camp slowly, silently ducking behind trees, boulders and large bushes to get a better vantage point. She thought maybe one of the dwarves would notice her, after that she hadn't a clue what to do.

About half way around she snapped a twig and one of the trolls looked up, she froze instantly hiding behind a tree.

"What's wrong?" asked one of them, clearly the apparent mastermind of the trio.

"I 'eard somethin'… in the trees!" replied another, with a high-pitched voice, he sounded like he wasn't the sharpest tool in the drawer. He sniffed the air.

"I 'ear nuffin! Sit down!" spat the first and the other did so, knowing not to mess with him.

Braerka peaked around the trunk, the scene had returned to normal, the other troll stood turning he spit, staring down greedily at the dwarves.

She continued around to the other side of the camp, and took cover behind a small boulder protruding from the ground; she poked her head up over the hefty rock and watched.

The trolls were now arguing about what seasoning to put on them, Braerka knew she would have to do something soon, she didn't have all that long before things would turn ugly. One suggested sage, and then turned to choose a dwarf from the spit, when of all the people, Bilbo spoke up.

"WAIT! You are making a terrible mistake" he shouted.

"You can't reason with 'em! They're halfwits!" cried one of the dwarfs on the spit, another in response cried, "then what does that make us?!"

Bilbo ignored their remarks and hopped forward in his sack to face the trolls. "I meant with the seasoning…."

"What about it?" asked one of the trolls, staring intently at the small hobbit before him.

"Well…" Bilbo's voiced cracked a little but he quickly regained his composure and continued, "…have you smelt them? You'll more than a bit of sage before plating this lot up!"

Braerka was impressed with his quick thinking and bravery, playing for time was the best and probably only thing anyone could right now. The dwarves however weren't as impressed and mumbled in unison against his life saving accusations.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" questioned the brains. The other who wasn't dumb but not entirely smart interjected, "Shut up! Let the uh… whatever he is, talk." He was interested in what the hobbit had to say, being the groups cook was evident from the weary and tattered apron he wore. He wanted to know what the hobbit knew probably to enhance his cooking, which Braerka guessed couldn't have been great. Bilbo smiled, half bowed and continued.

Braerka was getting ready to give the trolls the fright of their life when a hand grabbed her from behind. She spun on the spot going over her injured leg; she gritted her teeth to trap the pained yelp she felt rising in her throat.

She looked up and saw the old man, Gandalf as she recalled. He held a finger to his lips urging her to be quiet, his staff held in place by his elbow. He leaned forward to whisper to her.

"If things get out of hand, use that!" he told her pointing to the dagger she held. She was a little confused by his sudden appearance but nodded anyway, accepting the responsibility he'd give her. "I'll be up there" he continued, pointing to a very large boulder behind the trolls.

'_What on earth for?_' she wondered she turned back to ask him but he was gone.

Bewildered by his disappearance Braerka decided to focus her attention back to the dwarf's predicament. She was shocked by the sight that met her eyes, the fat dwarf, Bombur as she recalled, was being dangled over the mouth of the stupid troll. She moved to help but once again Bilbo spoke up.

"NO! Not that one…h-he's infected!" he stammered quickly, the trolls and Bombur looked at him puzzled.

"What?"

"He's got… worms in his… tubes!" Bilbo told them, Braerka had to laugh at this, she was sure the dwarves themselves would be laughing, had they not been tied up, it was comedy gold.

The troll holding Bombur chucked him down in disgust, unfortunately for the other dwarves he was dropped right on top of them. They groaned as his weight settled on them. Bilbo however carried on with his web of lies as it seemed to be working.

"In fact… they all have! They're infected with parasites it a nasty business! I wouldn't risk it, I really wouldn't!"

Again the dwarves rose up against him. "We don't have parasites! You have parasites!" spat Kili from his sack, the others joined him.

'_How childish!_' she thought, '_don't you realise this is helping you?!_'

She saw Bilbo's face grow angry at their stupidity and then Thorin kicked them. They silenced. Braerka could have leapt for joy, he had realised what the hobbit was doing, and soon his company were agreeing with the hobbit.

"Yes we're riddled! Riddled with parasites!" they cried in unison.

The trolls were puzzled by this; they looked at each other, confused and slightly afraid. Braerka noticed the 'brains', as she had come to call him, was examining Bilbo with suspecting eyes. He plodded up to Bilbo.

"What do you suppose we do then?" he asked Bilbo, Braerka could hear the almost well hidden malice in his voice. "Let 'em all go?!"

Bilbo was about to say yes when the troll shoved him back, he fell to the ground. Braerka feared for the hobbit's life now as the troll brandished a half rusted knife on him.

"You think I don't know what you're up to! This ferret is taking us for fools!" he told them. "You're first on the menu now, mate!"

The snarling troll started forward on the helpless hobbit, Braerka reacted quickly, tossing her dagger at the troll and vaulting over the rock. The knife buried itself in the hand of the unsuspecting troll, who roared out in pain. She unsheathed the small dagger from her vambrace and ran at the troll who was now clutching at its hand.

She jumped grabbing the hilt of the dagger already in it hands and slipped the other deep into its palm. She forced her weight downwards with the aid of gravity, yanking at the blades, the skin of its hand tore loudly, and blood came oozing out. The other trolls had been too slow to react and only noticed what was happening when she had softly landed on the ground between 'brains' and Bilbo. She held her blood stained daggers up in defence.

Still roaring in agony, the troll she'd attacked stomped backwards clutching its injured hand.

"Argh! Where'd you come from?" he cried out. Before she could answer the idiot of the group butted in.

"I told you I 'eard somethin'!" he said happily, which won him a slap across the face from the other troll.

"Shut up!" yelled the first, "where did ya come from?!". He growled again, and glared at Braerka, she stood defiantly, trying with all her strength to ignore the stinging pain that had flared in her leg. So far she had been successful.

"Where do you think I came from?!" she asked him mockingly, "You think I fell from the sky or something!"

"Did you?" asked the idiot troll, this won him yet another slap. He howled in discomfort. Braerka scoffed at them, and shook her head.

"We could eat her too!" suggested the cook, "We'd have quite the feast!"

"Nobody's eating anybody, especially not me!" she sniped back.

"Why?"

"Because I'd only cut my way out of you!" she said.

"No you wouldn't!" spat 'Brains'

"Would you like to put that to the test?" she asked him. The trolls looked at one another and gave no answer, but she took their silence as a no.

"Now…please do as my friend here asked…" she began, taking a look back at Bilbo who had gotten back on his feet, "… and let them go!"

For a moment she thought it had worked, the trolls looked as bemused as the dwarves did, but they simply laughed at her.

"Or…not…whatever suits…" she said mystified. She felt a little peeved at this but stood her ground, though now the ache in her leg was becoming unbearable. She stumbled as the pain took her balance, she quickly recovered but not fast enough, 'Brains' stepped forward and grabbed her good leg. She was now looking at the world upside down, she felt ill.

The sudden lift had caused her to drop one of her daggers but with the other she still held she slashed at the trolls fingers before she lost her grip on it also. They all guffawed together at her.

"What you gonna do now? Got any more tricks?" asked the idiot troll.

"A few…" she said, not actually having anything, but completely counting on Gandalf to hurry up.

"Oh yeah! How you gonna take us!"

"I'm not… he is!" she said, just a Gandalf appeared on top of the large boulder he had pointed out earlier. She had never been more happy to see a stranger and what he did next was truly amazing. She saw the light of the sun creeping its way up behind him, the rock was in the way, how was he going to help, but then she remembered he is a wizard.

Gandalf raised his staff and slammed it down on the mighty boulder, a magical force shot through the stone and it split right down the middle, falling in two. Sunlight poured in through the gap.

The trolls roared out against it as the light streamed through and burned them. Their rough skin became rougher as a layer of stone began to encrust their forms. The light engulfed them. They all struggled trying to fend off their inevitable fate.

All became quiet and the trolls slowly came to fixed positions. Then all at once the dwarves shouted out with joy, they laughed and cheered. Braerka would have joined them in celebration had it not been for the fact she was now stuck. The troll holding her had only tightened its grip on her as it was petrified, and now her leg was trapped between its stony fingers.

Gandalf stood on what was left of the small cliff, smiling smugly, and laughing at her misfortune, she would have hit him if she had been able.

"Well, that went well!" he said, descending the rock, he helped down the dwarves on the spit and then assisted a few of them out of their sacks. He then turned to Braerka.

"You seem to be stuck, miss…?" he told her, implying the question of her name.

"You don't say!" she said sarcastically, avoiding his question altogether.

From the corners of her eyes she saw the dwarves put on their belonging and clothes that the trolls had taken. She saw Thorin eye her suspiciously.

"Fine" continued Gandalf, he walked away, "Get yourself down!"

A few of the dwarves laughed at this, she didn't appreciate it seeing as she had just help save their hides.

She sighed angrily and looked up to her trapped leg, the stone troll had a tight grip on her boot, if she could wriggle her foot out she could easily get her boot after, she assumed.

Her foot slipped free with more ease that she had anticipated and she plummeted to the ground. She darted upright quickly as to not allow the dwarves to further ridicule her. She turned to get her boot, but it was gone.

"Where did…?" she said aloud. The looked around where she fell in case it had come with her, but no boot. She scratched her head puzzled, when someone cleared their throat from behind her. She turned to see the blonde dwarf, juggling her boot between his hands. She sighed and rolled her eyes going up to him and taking the boot.

"Thank you!" she said bluntly getting as far from him as she could afterwards. The last thing she wanted was to give him a chance to talk; the look in his eyes was all similar to those of men who lusted for her, she didn't want him to endure the pain of rejection or her boot in his crotch.

She slipped on her boot and stood back to admired the scene before her, everyone had made it out alive. She felt pleased with the outcome, thought she couldn't have done it without Gandalf, or Bilbo. She looked for the hobbit, he was busy helping one of the dwarves up, she smiled, he was strong for one so small, _'someone to keep your eye on,'_ she thought.

Gandalf walked to her side and laid a gentle hand on her shoulder, "That was quite a show! You did well yourself, considering your wounds." He said.

He looked down on her with kind endearing eyes that peered into her, she broke his gaze, she felt like he knew something about her, something that even she didn't know, she didn't like it. His presence was soothing and yet somehow threatening. He soon walked on leaving her to her thoughts.

Her eyes caught those of Thorin, he stood tall and refreshed by the experience somehow. His eyes met hers and stayed so for some time before Gandalf cut into her line of sight ending the subconscious reunion.

She wondered, '_Did he recognise me? Probably not…'_

She stood as memories long forgotten spooled back into her head, just seeing him alive had made her day, but now was not the time for reminiscing, she had to find out what exactly they were doing and where they were going.


	4. Chapter 4: New Acquaintances

**Chapter 4: New Acquaintances**

Thorin dusted himself off, shrugging aside the sack he had spent most of the night in. He stood there now among his fellow dwarves happy and content to be alive.

His eyes caught the young woman hanging upside down, still in the trolls grip. He stifled a laugh when she fell to the ground and then quickly fixed herself, acting like she'd meant to do it that exact way. Thorin was amazed by her, not hours ago she had been lying in the care of Oin, bleeding out from her wounds and unable to stay conscious, but now… she stood as though nothing had ever happened.

He watched as she retrieved her boot from Fili, who had sneakily snatched it from the statues grip as she had recovered from her fall. His nephew looked her up and down with keen and searching eyes, she had simply ignored any attempt at a conversation and walked on, slipping into her boot. He admired her for that.

It was then that her eyes caught his. He tried to avert his gaze but could not. There was something about her… something familiar; he couldn't put his finger on it. She stood, an expression of pensiveness on her features. Her piercing eyes burned into his, was she aware she was looking at him?

Her eyes were a peculiar mix of colour. He could see hazel at the centre bleeding into a peridot green with a dark brown almost black ring around the outer iris. They had an ethereal glow to them. He could think of only one other person with eyes like that. He cast away the thought thinking it incredible; though her eyes were friendly he still did not know who this person was or her intentions.

Her aura was commanding and powerful; he himself had to admit it. Everyone was drawn to her and that slightly worried him, but if she was as sincere as she looked she may be useful.

Thorin snapped back to reality as Gandalf came into view. He strode forward to meet the wizard as he circled the stone trolls.

"Where did you go?" Thorin asked him, he wouldn't admit out loud he was thankful for the wizard's actions, but this wouldn't make him forget the reason he had left in the first place.

"To look ahead" Gandalf said bluntly, staring Thorin square in the face.

"And what brought you back?" continued Thorin.

Gandalf smiled broadly, "Looking behind."

Thorin shook his head and smiled, while Gandalf could be a pain, he was useful in tight spots and was also quite the joker.

"Nasty business! Damn Trolls!" the wizard said, striking the nearest statue hard with his staff, a small piece chipped off and he fumbled to replace it but in the end just let it plunge to the ground.

"Nasty? We were almost eaten alive, Gandalf!" began Thorin, "…and all thanks to your burglar too! I told you I would not be accountable for him!"

Gandalf's bushy grey eyebrows raised high at his. "Yes Thorin it may have been by his doing but… he was the one to get you out, mostly. Had he not played for time you would most likely have been troll food before I had arrived!"

Thorin bowed his head a little, to hide the expression of defeat. Gandalf was right; if not for Bilbo none of them would probably be here now. He would have to thank him at some point.

"Now…" said Gandalf, "these trolls couldn't have moved in daylight so…."

"There must be a cave nearby!" stated Thorin, beginning to walk off, following the huge lumbering tracks of the trolls deeper into the trees.

* * *

Braerka stood eavesdropping on the wizard and Thorin, right now she couldn't miss a beat, she wanted to find out what they were doing and fast. She knew the longer she stayed near the more complicated things would become and the more reason she would have to kill him. The others in the company were fixing themselves up, reclaiming clothes and anything else the trolls had taken from them. Each looked more comfortable now in their own attire.

She was about to follow as Thorin began deeper into the forest, when Bilbo approached her out of nowhere, she almost didn't notice him; he was so light of his feet. "Excuse me miss?" he said grabbing her attention immediately.

Braerka, not wanting to come across as her usual in-your-face self, thought a short moment before answering.

"Umm… Yes Master Hobbit?" she said with a slightly shaky voice, '_was that too formal?_' she wondered. She had no experience with speaking to halfings or anyone who wasn't a man or an elf, she was cautious of how he would respond.

"Oh please call me Bilbo! Bilbo Baggins, that's my name!" he in a comical voice and bowing low. His voice was also trembling, either for the same reasons as hers or because he was still running on the adrenaline from last night.

"I just wanted to say thanks… for umm… you know stepping in back there. The trolls probably would have eaten us all! You really saved us you know!" he went on to say scratching at the back of his head. She loved his nervousness; no one of the opposite sex had ever been this shy around her, she liked it.

"No, I didn't, you did! I was merely lead by your example! You're the hero Bilbo!" she told him, he needed a confidence boost she could tell, she would be the one to give it to him.

He looked at her, a wide bemused grin on his face, "You really think so?" he asked, not quite believing what she was saying.

"No! Of course not!" she said bluntly, beginning to walk away, after a few steps she turned back to him and smiled, "I know so!"

She continued over to where Gandalf and Thorin had stood moments before moving into the forest. Allowing herself a quick glance over her shoulder she saw that Bilbo was still stood there with a dumbstruck look on his face, he was smiling broadly so her words must have meant something to him however small they were.

Braerka began to make her way towards the rest of the group; some had made off back to their camp to get important items and were now giving them out to their rightful owners. Dwalin marched up to her and handed over her coat and other items she had left behind.

"Thank you." She said as he handed her stuff over. She avoided eye contact, '_don't think he remembers me either!_' she thought, as he said nothing.

She slipped on her coat, slung her satchel and bow over shoulder and began returning her many daggers to their places. Dwalin lingered close by, watching her closely. She felt uncomfortable and shifted uneasily before coming to a conclusion. '_Maybe he wants something'_.

"Can I help you?" she asked him.

"uh…" he thought for a moment, "…no lass, it's alright" he said, starting to move forward, only he turned back and approached her this time with purpose.

"In fact it's not alright!" he said, his voice was firm and full of resolve, "I'm sorry!"

'_Sorry for what?_' she thought, she was about to ask when he continued almost as if he had read her mind. Her expression must have provoked the explanation.

"For last night, I was the one who… who hit you. I was an idiot for swinging early I know that now!" he said. Braerka felt like hugging him but didn't knowing it would seem outlandish. The emotion he was expressing was unlike anything she had ever heard from this old warrior before, she remembered him as someone who didn't dwell on the past or the things he'd done wrong. It was a nice side of him to see if not a little strange.

"Oin said you broke a few ribs, but you seem to be holding up well" he went on to finish.

She smiled at him as he returned to his normal self, "No, I'm quite alright Dwalin; you have nothing to worry about!"

He looked at her confused for a moment, then she realised, she had just called him by name, and as far as they were concerned she didn't know them. _'Smart one, look what you've done!'_ scolded the voice in her head.

"Did I tell you my name?" he asked.

"No!" she blurted out immediately, "but… I heard one of the others address you…" she said trailing off waiting for him to accept it as the truth. He did so and nodded, he beckoned her to follow as the others moved off to where Thorin had went in search of the trolls cave.

As she walked Braerka felt a constant nagging in her side and ankle, the crystal had failed her once again and she was beginning to loathe it. Why wouldn't it just do its job like it had done when see first found it? Back in the underground fortress she had discovered near Fangorn forest where she had found the gem and first used it, it had seemed like a blessing but not it was a hindrance. It never worked and when it did it wasn't for long.

Catching up to the others she saw they were settled outside what looked, and smelled, like a Troll's hoard, she decided to pass up the opportunity of seeing its interior. Dwalin continued with Thorin and several others into the cave.

Braerka set herself up on a moss-covered rock; she sat cross-legged checking the string on her bow and fixing herself up. She had just slid her small dagger into its hidden place and was tightening the straps on her vambrace when the blonde dwarf from earlier walked up and leaned against the rock.

She peaked at him from the corner of her eyes, then continued as he wasn't even there. He persisted and stood gazing up at her as she pulled the last buckle on the leather-bound iron wrist guard. She didn't like how he stared at one point she thought she was going to slap him.

Every time she thought she heard footsteps leaving her side she would look around to see his pale blue-green eyes staring up at her. She wanted him to just go away and plait his beard or whatever it is that young dwarf prince's do. She continued fixing her attire, and then began redoing one of her own braids.

"You know, your well kitted out for a woman…" the dwarf began, was this what he'd spent so long staring at her for, to tell her she was well armed? But then it struck her, the way he looked at her, the way he had been the one to retrieve her boot, he liked her! She scoffed silently and then looked to him, her thick eyebrows raised high.

Alarm entered his eyes, "not that you shouldn't or anything!" he began, defending his words, "it's just not many woman travel now… like… you" he trailed off, lost in her gaze she tilted her head and looked at him her eyes questioning, she said nothing.

He was handsome, for a dwarf, she thought to herself, not burly and rough like most but he was younger than the rest it seemed, it was only expected.

"I'm Fili, by the way!" he stated, taking her hand and shaking. "Let me introduce my 'friends"

He then proceeded to introduce the rest of the company as they went about their business.

"That's Dori and Ori," he said pointing to two odd looking dwarves, one with highly decorated braids woven into his hair, the other was sporting an old fashioned bowl cut style.

"Over there is Balin, Bifur and Bombur" he continued, indicating the old one she knew, though his beard was now pure white. He was with an old looking warrior who spoke only in the dwarfish language of Khuzdul, probably because of the axe still embedded in his skull. She understood snippets of his speech but she had never studied the language long enough to master it. Beside him was Bombur, who she recognised from almost being eaten last night, he still looked a little shaken from his ordeal but was holding up well and nursing what looked to be a small flask of ale.

"Oh yes over there is Oin, our physician and talking to him is my brother, Kili" he went on to say, pointing over to them. Oin had his hornpipe brought up to his ear; the old dwarf must be deafer than a post she assumed. Kili however was speaking loudly enunciating every syllable of what he was saying so the old dwarf could hear. He threw his hands up in defeat, after what had been his third attempt.

She took in the names and made sure she knew who was who before continuing.

"And who went into the cave?" she asked him, he promptly answered

"Nori, Bifur, Gloin, Dwalin and my uncle, Thorin"

"Thorin Oakenshield?" she asked him, just to make him think she didn't know who exactly they were, which for some of them was true.

"Ah… so you've heard of him?" he said amazed.

"Who hasn't?" was all she could say. She glanced at the cave entrance, muffled voices came from within, '_they must have found something'_ she asserted from the tones.

She heard Fili sneer, he then stood and walked around to the other side of the rock, blocking her view of the cave and again made himself comfortable. She smirked as he did so, he walked with an air of royalty about him and if everyone should bend to his will, and though he was a prince he was far from reserved.

She thought for a while; maybe she could ask him about this quest, get the information she so desperately desired and use his apparent interest in her to her advantage.

"Why are there so many of you? Are you going to a party?" she asked him, outwardly trying to make herself seem sincere.

He smiled at the question, as if he'd been waiting for her to ask, "No, unfortunately it's not a party, but it is an important mission. You need a lot of people when you embark on quests such as ours". He spoke with mystery in his voice, he was deliberately being vague. She decided she would have to be a little more persuasive to get what she wanted.

"And what sort of quest would that be, Fili?" she asked, she said his name slowly and made her voice smooth and sultry. She leaned forward, close to him, and gently flicked on of his braids. He breathed deeply in response and then took her hand and began playing with her fingers.

"Oh you know… the usual. Save the day, become a hero kind." He said in a charming voice about to kiss her hand. She quickly withdrew her hand realising she wasn't going to get anything out of him. '_This quest must be very important if he can't tell me anything!'_ she concluded.

She then sat back up and turned, raising her hood to block the young dwarf prince. She was infuriated, never before had she been denied what she wanted by any man of any race and now this dwarf had outright rejected her, '_I'm losing my touch!'_

She went back to check her belts and buckled when she heard laughing, she balanced herself and looked up to see an amused Kili sauntering over.

"Ha-ha! Having trouble with the lady brother?" he said giving Fili and hard slap on the back. She looked at Fili, he wore an expression of hurt, wounded by her retraction, but it also looked fake, as if he was playing it.

"Nothing I can't handle!" Fili told him, parting with a sly smirk and winking at her. She was impressed by his tenacity and enthusiasm, but was far from caving to him. She was sure that both of them, as young dwarven princes, could get pretty much any girl they wanted, she decided she wouldn't give in to either them so easily, if ever.

"Be careful!" she warned him, "you can get burnt when you play with fire!"

"I take that as a challenge then!" Fili responded, Kili laughed at his brother, then looked to her and nodded. Fili gave him a light punch in the arm and then left them.

After a few moments Kili finally stopped laughing and turned to her. "So how are you milady?" he gave a curt nod and swung himself round to where Fili had stood moments ago. "Your leg seems to be holding up fine"

His charismatic grin made her feel strangely at home, '_must be something that runs in the family'_ she thought, she remembered Thorin smiling to her in a similar when she younger, it had always made her feel safe.

"I'm fine, thank-you Kili" she said, she was about to ask him if he was okay, when Oin approached her probably having heard their short exchange.

"I need to check your leg" he stated bluntly, lifting a few things from his bag. She removed her gaiter and boot and allowed him undress the bite which had all but completely healed overnight. Oin looked shocked to say the least, but he said very little and gave it a quick clean and bandaged it again. She then replaced her walking boot and gaiter and felt comfortable once more.

The dwarves that had been in the cave exited it in a rushed, a few of them came with their hands over their mouths, _'was it really that bad in their?'_ she wondered.

Thorin came out last carrying two swords and headed right for her. She found herself consciously jumping to her feet and dusting herself off. He sped towards her with a resolute trudge, and stopped when he got to her. Kili looked at her with sympathetic eyes before walking a few paces from them to stand with his brother.

"So…"Thorin began, "What do they call you?"

Braerka thought quickly before answering, she couldn't tell him her real name could she? She toyed with the idea before deciding he was best kept out of the loop for now.

"They call me…."she thought again, "Shepherd", she sighed after telling him. He smiled somewhat amused by the name. It may not technically be her name, but he hadn't asked for her name, he asked what they called her and they in this case were the elves.

"Shepherd?" he repeated, the amusement was clear for all to see, she would receive no kind words about staying true to it this time. "That's a strange name…for a woman"

"Well…" both her and Thorin turned to see Kili trod towards them, "… a strange name for a strange woman!" Braerka felt herself smiling at this, they had only just met still he felt the need to defend her, '_Odd!_' she thought.

Thorin half laughed in response, before giving his new blade a look over. It was smooth and flowing, covered in cobwebs, of elvish make by the looks of it. He then considered his old broadsword before offering it to her.

"Here, take it, it is redundant on my person and you'll need something bigger than your measly daggers if you are to accompany us much further." She accepted it gratefully, nodding to him; he nodded back then left her alone. It was a few seconds more before what he had said sunk in.

"Wait! Who said I was coming?" she called after him realising she had said nothing of the likes to him or anyone. She looked to him and he pointed to the entrance of the cave, there stood Gandalf. _'Of course'_ she mused, who else? She was now certain that the wizard knew something about her or he at least had an inkling; or maybe he just did these things on a whim, maybe there was no logic behind it.

She chuckled internally shaking her head. She looked to the heavy blade she now held. It was top heavy, but that only made it easier to swing. She loved how the hilt felt in her hand tough and unbreakable, like a force to be reckoned with.

She tied it to her belt and let it hang by her side. Glancing up, she looked to Thorin, who was speaking with Balin. She had missed him greatly and now she had him back, in a manner of speaking. All in the world seemed right, and as it was supposed to be at that moment.

"Something's coming" one of the company cried. Everyone immediately stood to attention grabbing their weapons close and getting ready to move. She heard a violent rustling in the distance and it was getting louder.

"Stay together!" Gandalf shouted, as they sprang into action, "Hurry! Arm yourselves!"

They began to run off in direction off the sound, ready to meet whatever came. One by one they took up arms and ran off following Gandalf, leaving the hobbit at the mouth of the cave.

He stood drawing the blade that Gandalf had just given him. He looked unsure of the weapon in his hand, he looked like he had never used or even seen one before. The blade too was elvish but much shorter than Thorin's.

"Hey, Bilbo!" she shouted to him, beginning into a jog. "Come on! You don't wanna be left behind now do you?"

He reacted to her words quickly, sheathing the short sword and snatching up his satchel. They both ran in pursuit of the dwarves and the unknown entity, its rustling now permeated the forest loudly.

Braerka ran with purpose though her injuries still hurt her; Bilbo who had been running behind her was actually gaining on her and not long after was bolting ahead of her. This would be an experience, while it lasted, she would get the information she wanted, avoid killing her old friend and possibly get her long lost life back.

**AN: Hey guys, thank you to anyone who's reviewed so far and to all the new readers :) can't explain how happy it makes me to know someone is actually reading this! Anyways please R&R, enjoy and feel free to criticise me on ****anything****! Expect the next instalment in about 2 to 3 days, until next time, KiliFanatic ;) **


	5. Chapter 5: Wizards

**AN: Hey guys, now I know this chapter is so very late, and I'm sorry but I had exams and needed to study... So, in an attempt to make up I've typed up the next few chapters and will upload them a lot quicker, and will try to continue doing so in future ;) Please enjoy R&R, there'll be another soon**

**Chapter 5: Wizards**

The dwarves and Bilbo were fading from view in the densely wooded forest, they ran at full sprint, prepared for the worst but hoping for much less. Braerka had all but fallen behind, her wounds getting the better of her. She ran as fast as she could, for as long as she could, but soon found herself gasping for air, her broken ribs causing her so much agony she couldn't breathe. She slowed to a stop and listened as the drum of their pace faded into the distance.

Ensuring she was alone she reach once again for the Soul Reaver, she breathed her life essence onto it and it glowed absorbing the energy from her. She squeezed it tightly in her fist allowing her body to absorb the waves of blue as they focused on her injuries. She felt herself become refreshed, the throbbing subsided and she could breathe easily again. Tucking the gem under her shirt she prayed that this time it would keep the ache at bay for good.

Looking up and around her she saw only the varied greens and browns of the leaves and trees, she had been left behind. She had expected it though; she was no-one of importance to them why should they wait?

"Aww well, they can't have gone too far" she said aloud for no-one to hear, beginning into a brisk jog. She followed the deep footprints they had left in their wake.

Running in their general direction she stopped on hearing an unfamiliar voice cry out loudly, flocks of birds jumped from their nests and others were surely hiding.

"THIEVES! FIRE! MURDER!" she heard, then all went silent, the voice was old and of a man. She hurried her pace worried for the others; the woods were less than safe when things went quiet.

Carrying on at a faster paced jog she soon found them holed up in a ditch near the forest edge. They were spread out, chatting quietly to one another, and relaxed; whatever the threat had been they had dealt with it.

She slowed to a normal walking pace and cautiously entered their ring.

"So you decided to join us then?!" spat Thorin, he seemed angry, what had brought about the sudden disfavour in her. She wondered for a second, he could be testing her to see if she was of any worth to his group and so far she guessed she wasn't summing up to be much other than a nuisance.

"Didn't want to get in the way of your massive ego!" she replied smartly, the comment received a few chuckles but Thorin for one was not amused. _'He really has changed'_ she thought.

She remembered a time when he would have laughed openly at such things but now he saw no humour only offence. '_Time can do terrible things to the strongest of us'_ she finished. Seeing this wasn't going to win her a good reputation she decided to withdraw her comment.

"Look…Thorin… what I meant was you guys could've handled it without me, and you did by the looks of it! Besides I needed to acquaint my injuries to the burn of running" she told him with a smile, it was barely returned as she saw his lips move to form a smile but resorted to their natural position.

Seconds later Oin was coming up to her again, this time with a small phial of a dark green liquid; he handed it to her. She stared at him blankly; did he expect her to drink it? She considered the bottle with guarded eyes not wanting to discern the contents though its purpose was most likely to dampen the pain. She looked at him with baffled eyes, she didn't want to drink it and she didn't really need it either.

"Take it, it will dull the pain!" he ordered. She again pondered the bottle, its green contents seemed to be alive and moving of its own accord. She really didn't want to take it. She looked up when someone laughed, to see both Fili and Kili side by side, looming behind their uncle and watching in bliss. Thorin chuckled deeply before turning back to Balin whom he had been in deep conversation with.

"Drink, Now!" ordered Oin once again, this only made her more uncomfortable with it. Fili's expression was of almost uncontrollable mirth and enjoyment, Kili's however was more like that of pity, he had more than likely endured the filthy fluid at some point.

Though she knew she didn't need it, she thought it better to play the damsel in distress a little while longer. She unstoppered the phial and chugged the concoction as quickly as she could; wretching at its foul taste. She could feel her innards prepare to spew the substance back up; luckily she avoided the humiliation, holding her gloved hand over her mouth to stop herself from vomiting. She waited while her stomach became settled and calm with its lewd contents.

She swallowed over and over trying to rid her mouth of its undistinguishable tang, she wished it tasted nicer or had no taste at all, it would have been better than what she was experiencing.

Seeing her distress, Bofur approached her bearing a waterskin. Handing to her she gratefully accepted and washed her mouth out with the cool liquid.

"Thank you!" she gasped after a long gulp. The tastelessness of the water was like heaven compared to the medicine.

"No problem, you looked like you needed it!" he told her, hinting at the empty bottle in her hand. He must have also experienced it to know she would have needed it after.

She nodded to him and him to her, his hat flopping as he did. He seemed a kind dwarf, his voice was gentle and sincere he was the sort of person you'd love as a teacher or father. He took the skin and returned to Bombur's side.

Realising she had no idea why they had stopped or what the threat had been, she instinctively edged towards Bilbo, at the moment she was the only one of them she felt truly comfortable with. While she knew Thorin, Dwalin and Balin, they didn't recognise her and she intended them not to. Bilbo's sincere demeanour was a nice change to her usual company of mindless drunkards and heartless mercenaries.

"Hey Bilbo! Do you mind filling me in?" she asked as she approached him. He perked up on seeing her.

"Not at all Miss Shepherd! And here you were the one telling me I'd be left behind!" he jested.

She smiled with him as he jokingly laughed at his own remark.

"Ha-ha! Terrible isn't it!? And please don't call me miss, it's just Shepherd!" she corrected him, she had never really taken to being called miss, it just didn't sit well with her.

"Of course…" he said, "Well… Shepherd, basically, to put it simply, we've bumped into another wizard! Radagast the Brown or something… we're waiting on Gandalf, the two seem to be friends"

"Radagast the Brown?" she repeated, "Never heard of him… at all, not once!" she told him, see knew that there were five wizards in total but the name Radagast was not among the ones she's heard of. "Where is Gandalf?"

Bilbo promptly point to a clearing a few feet from them, "They're talking, be careful if you're going over, that wizard is… well…let's just say, a little strange!"

His facial expression gave her the impression that this wizard was in no way short of mad, _'had he been the one to yell those random remarks earlier?_' she wondered.

Her assumptions were confirmed, on leaving Bilbo to find Gandalf and see this Radagast, she was welcomed by the sight of a crazy old man. He wore a brown ragged coat and hat that matched his long tatty beard, his clothes were worn and tattered, and he had bird excrement streaking down the side of his face. He looked like he'd seen better days and like most people in middle-earth, he probably had.

She walked over to where they stood and leaned against a nearby tree. She watched as they spoke not understanding much of what they were saying in their hushed tones and whispers. She stared as they both circled each other and continued speaking as they did. Radagast handed a fair sized package to Gandalf and grim look spread over both of them. From what she could see it was a sword of some kind, she would ask later if still held any relevance.

As planned Gandalf caught her eye, he broke away from Radagast tucking the parcel in his robes.

"Ah! Shepherd was wondering where you got to" he said, happily welcoming her into the conversation. Radagast however took a different approach to her. Seeing her, his eyes widened, almost popping out of his skull, but they were fixed on her.

"Shepherd?" he asked, drawing closer to her. Braerka felt herself instinctively backing off only to hit the trunk of the tree she had stopped by. Gandalf did naught to stop him which concerned her, did both of them know something about her, had he told this madman what he knew?

"Yes, this is The Shepherd." Gandalf told him, the grey wizard watched with curious eyes, "She is in our care until she is well enough to continue her own adventures."

She looked to Gandalf, he had called her 'The Shepherd' this confirmed he knew something, and this Radagast must also know as he was taking quite some interest in her.

"You're injured!" he snapped, drawing ever closer and raising an aged finger to her. "Why?"

She looked at him, what kind of question was that, people like anyone else weren't invincible; even the strongest got hurt from time to time.

"Because…" she thought for a second and never finished, she wasn't going to gratify this stupid question with an answer, she saw no point to it.

"You have many secrets" he continued, she wasn't sure if it was a question or a statement, and remained silent.

"Don't we all?" she replied eventually, giving him as few words as she could, so far she wasn't liking this wizard, he was much stranger than Gandalf, less warming too. She only wanted to be back with Bilbo, as far away as possible from this conjurer, she regretted leaving him.

He scrutinised her person, before leaning in even closer. He inhaled deeply taking a quick sniff of her air. '_What on earth? Bilbo was wrong this guy isn't strange… he's off his rocker!'. _He breathed out and then whispered into her ear.

"You play a dangerous game, Miss Arkensan, be careful!" he said, a touch of mystery in his voice. Retreating from her stunned form he returned to Gandalf's side, she stared at him. Confusion and fear bubbled down and boiled back as an unexpected rage. She didn't like it when people did this to her.

"I don't believe we've met…" she began her tone harsh, he ignored her. The brown wizard had his back to her, and he was coddling his staff and muttering to himself. This only enraged her more, why she was angry she didn't truly know, but this wizard was keeping something from her, she had to know what.

Gandalf glanced between them, and then beckoned her to come. She obeyed only for the sake of the others. He pointed out a small bit of parchment in Radagast's grasp; the seal it bore forced her rage to regress fear. She snatched it from him and folded it quickly, '_how did he get this?_'

"I took it from your bag last night... for safekeeping" Gandalf informed her, he had stolen it, and he had given it to Radagast; more than likely looking for his opinion on the matter. What would happen next was the only thing that scared her, would he tell Thorin? Would he kill her, banish her or would he allow her to stay? Before it had looked like he had wanted her to stay, that maybe he had a vague idea of what she was trying to do and who she really was, but now she was unsure.

"And?" she asked him, trying to discern her fate.

"And I have given it back" he concluded. This didn't help ease her nerves; her breaths came in short raspy snaps as she tried to calm herself. Gandalf's expression was that of understanding and distant concern, but also of confusion; if he knew the inner turmoil she faced in doing this he would have looked down more pitifully.

She wondered if he had noticed she hadn't signed the contract meaning she had no intention of performing the task written on it. He nodded to her to return to the others, and she did. For some reason she felt obliged to do what he told her, it came from a want for him to not tell the others anything.

"Come now Radagast, we have much to discuss and little time!" he spoke up as she left them.

Briskly walking to Bilbo, she half crumpled the contract between her fingers. She felt the eyes of the elders in the company watch her as she did; they would want to know what it was. On getting back to Bilbo she tucked it into her bag and then glared over to where the sorcerer's now stood.

She mulled over the facts and what they meant for her. If Gandalf said anything about who she was she would be found out; she didn't know why she was so worked up over it, it might actually be a good thing if he told Thorin. He would probably believe the wizard over her. But if he told him about the contract… well that was a different issue altogether, there was no coming back from that.

Deep in her thoughts she hadn't noticed the body moving close to her. She looked up when she noticed the shadow at her feet, a stout dwarf with intricate braids woven into his beard and hair stood in front of her. '_Was this Ori or Dori?_' She couldn't remember. She sighed as he looked to her, she knew what he wanted, she had only to wait.

"Are you alright?" he asked, she looked up to him, this wasn't what she had expected him to ask. "You look tense, you know what you need? A nice cup of tea."

She laughed aloud, and nodded in agreement. She was tense and probably could do with a hot drink. But such luxuries were far from easy to come by in the forests.

"Yes, Dori!" she exclaimed recalling his name, "I'm…I'm fine"

"I understand," he started, she was confused by this, '_what on arda is he on about?_' she wondered. "I myself don't like wizards very much, don't feel comfortable around them. Not that I've met many… in fact those two are the only ones I have! Anyway…what did say to ya and what was that paper?"

And there it was the question she'd been waiting for, she knew that she would be asked about it was only matter of time. He looked at her eagerly awaiting her answer, as did Bilbo who was to her other side. She looked to both of them, then standing up she answered.

"Nothing important, he… he just seems to think he knows me!" she revealed to them. As she did the wizards walked up and past them. Radagast gave her a cagey look, she simply glared in revolt.

"Just trying to get in your head I say! Sneaky they are! Just ignore 'im, he's barking mad anyway!" Dori told her, laughing at his own words. She smiled at his mindless optimism, if only more were like him.

The peace of the moment passed quickly, a distant howling disrupting the quiet. Silence took them and Bilbo broke it.

"Was that a wolf? Are there wolves out there?" his voice was shaken, he began breathing rapidly. Braerka reached out a hand to calm him but he sped across the group to Bofur, who was looking around him wielding his hammer in preparation for anything whatsoever.

"No, not a wolf….a w…" he was cut short by a low growl from the high hill behind them. They all spun, and not a second later a giant dog like creature came skulking over the slope, it snarled and growled before leaping down and attacking Dori. The animal grounded him; Braerka drew the dwarven broadsword to hack at the beast before it could harm him only to be beaten to it by Thorin.

He buried his new elven blade deep into the monster's skull, before shouting to Kili to shoot as another crept up behind him. It sped down the hill and Kili stepped forward, his bow ready. His arrow was true and met its mark. The creature tumbled down the hill and met its end at the hands of Dwalin; he crushed its head in with a single blow from his hammer, this reminded her of how lucky she was to be alive.

The remainder of the company were now roused and on edge, with their weapons drawn. Gandalf stepped forward and examined the scene. His face was grim, that didn't bode well for them.

Thorin yanked his blade from the lifeless body, and took a second to take in what had happened, "Warg scouts! Which means an Orc pack is not far behind!" he proclaimed.

The company was now even more on edge; Orcs were vile creatures from the dark places of the world, nobody desired to ever encounter them.

An even more panicked Bilbo stepped forward, "Orc pack?! Why would they be…"

He was interrupted by an infuriated Gandalf, "Who did you tell Thorin?! About this quest? Who?!"

Thorin looked wounded that the wizard would even consider that he would tell anyone other than those present or outside his own kinsfolk, and was quick to defend himself, "No-one I swear it! None beyond my kin knows of this!"

Braerka sighed she had got it into her head that she would learn something of their quest in that instant, her hopes had been thoroughly lowered.

He breathed heavily his eyes pleading to Gandalf to believe him, the wizard said nothing. "What in Durin's name is going on?" he asked.

"You are being hunted! By orcs no less!" the wizard exclaimed.

'_Great!_' Braerka sighed into herself, '_This means more running! You guys can't catch a break!_'

"We have to go now!" input Dwalin; the concern in his voice was prominent and forceful.

A quiet voice shot down from above, "We can't the ponies have bolted!" exclaimed Ori.

All heads turned when Radagast jumped in, "I'll draw them off!" he declared.

Gandalf attempted to dissuade him, "These are Gundabad wargs! They'll outrun you!"

"These are Rhosgabel Rabbits!" he retorted smugly, "I'd like to see them try!"

For some reason or other no-one moved to argue, if this madman wished to risk his neck for them why not, they would let him. At the command of Thorin the company began to move out, positioning themselves near the forest edge waiting for their leader. Gandalf lingered behind, watching as Radagast mounted his sled.

Braerka made off to join the others when a firm grip took her arm and pulled her back. She turned into the tug to face Radagast, she sighed why would he not just leave her alone.

"Be careful young assassin, your choices may lead you to worse things than you intend! They will need you before the end! Don't lose them and Good luck!" he told her in a cheerful tone, before whipping up his staff and starting off out of the forest.

"Good luck to you too!" she shouted after him. She wondered how he thought she could lose them but her answer came when she turned to join them; they had already left.

She saw their coat tails vanishing between the green of the trees, and she leapt into a full speed sprint after them. She wasn't going to lose them after being told not to, if there was one thing she was good at it was following orders and she wasn't going to fail these ones. Running fast and ignoring the nagging pains in her side and leg she focused on her goal and chased after the company.


	6. Chapter 6: The Long Run

**Chapter 6: The Long Run**

Sprinting as fast as she could, she tried desperately to catch up to them, but her injuries were once again getting the better of her. Every time she tried to push herself to run faster a sharp spike of pain would slow her down, for some reason the crystal had again refused to work; even Oin's foul medicine hadn't helped. She hated it and what made it worse was the knowledge that to the wargs she was now an easy target.

She took a short cut across the rocky plain trying to catch up, weaving between the tall outcropped pillars and hurdling over the smaller ones. From among the rocks she heard the turmoil unfurling in the distance, growling, barking, and orcish cursing. She forced one foot in front of the last, ignoring the pain and using only her will power to drive herself forward, so far it seemed to be working.

Braerka caught sight of them ahead, '_Yes! Finally caught up!_' she exclaimed, finding a new energy come from nowhere making her sprint harder and faster.

Her hopes were dimmed however when they turned back the way they came, looking to the point of their distress she saw the wargs and their riders galloping past hot on the tail of Radagast, the wizard had been right the wargs would have a tough time catching those rabbits!

Following their path but a fair distance behind she continued her pursuit; she was going to catch up to them one way or another. She kept pushing herself, fighting past the almost insufferable pain that was begging her to stop. She had been through worse and survived, she wasn't going to let something this minor defeat her.

On hearing a growl she took cover behind the nearest high rock. Peering out over the stone she saw a huge black warg, battered and starved, and its orc rider ascend the outcropped rock ahead of her, the warrior inside her pulled through and won over her cautious side as she realised beyond the rock was were Thorin and the others had run.

Taking no time to think she charged at the unsuspecting beast, drawing her newly attained broadsword and swinging it hard into its flank. It howled out in pain buckling under its own weight, its rider moved to strike her from above when she dived off the other side of the rock barely missing the rusted blade it wielded.

The maddened hound followed but she was ready for it; on hitting the ground she rolled out of its path and spun swinging the sword as she did, just missing the wargs head. It charged at her knocking her backwards and off her feet, she fell into it and rolled again and pushing herself up.

The warg snarled and so did its rider; the creature began another charge at the beckoning of the orc. She was ready; when it came she sidestepped and buried her sword into its neck. She moved to strike down its rider but he was already on the ground, blood spouting from its neck; she turned to see the company pressed against the rock, Kili a few steps forward of them holding his bow. She had no time to thank him however as the warg still living, only barely, struggled up from the ground.

It turned to jump on her but Kili shot another arrow halting its advance she took the chance to end its life. Raising the broadsword high she buried it in its skull and twisted. Its pitiful whimpers ceased as she withdrew the blade.

She turned round to face them returning the now blood-stained blade to her belt. They stared at her mystified. Thorin especially, his expression was that of admiration and confusion, she couldn't help but wonder if he subconsciously knew who she was already.

"What?" she asked them, somewhat confused herself but knowing full well they wouldn't have expected her to be able to do what she had just done.

They said nothing and a few seconds passed in silence before nearing barks and wails of the other wargs spilt it. They all looked in the direction of the din; they must have heard their comrades death cries, they hadn't been quick enough to silence them; and now they were coming.

"Stay together! Run! This way, quickly!" Gandalf shouted, starting into a run in the opposite direction with the company following close behind. Braerka also ran after them only to find her exertions had all but completely crippled her.

An excruciating pain shot up her leg, she half fell but limped on trying to keep up. She struggled to keep herself upright but the fear of death was more than compelling. She forced herself to keep moving regardless of the ache, she dug deeper and deeper and used all of her strength.

She almost fell again when she saw a dirty gloved hand reach down and take hers, pulling her up on her feet and continuing to pull her forward. Looking ahead of her she saw it was Kili, insentiently she gripped tightly to him and allowed him to drag her forward.

"Come on milady!" he jested, "I'll keep you safe!"

Despite their current situation she found herself smiling at his remark. And she ran, faster than ever trying to keep pace with him. Somehow through his words and sheer being he was giving her the strength to endure.

Grasping tightly to his warm gloved hand she sprinted with him and the others. While he said he would keep her safe, there was only so much he could do and unfortunately running wasn't one of them. Her energy was almost entirely spent and she was grateful for their next stop however life threatening it was. She took several deeps breaths trying to suck in even a little more energy. The stop was short and soon after they broke away from the rocks and into more open plains.

'_What is Gandalf doing? We're done for in the open!_' she reasoned, as Kili pulled her on following the others, she wondered if he had the same reasoning.

Kili had sped up greatly after entering the open hills, Braerka had some difficulty in matching his speed, but somehow, through sheer grit and determination, she did.

As they came further away from the stone maze they found themselves surrounded, there were too many wargs and orcs and not enough of them to stand a chance of surviving. Kili let go of her hand gesturing to Fili to keep an eye on her, and continued running onwards.

"Come on now!" he urged her as she started to slow, "We're nearly there! Wherever that is!" he panted, snapping up short breaths. Again she smiled, even if she didn't know them she would have known the two were brothers, charming and with similar senses of humour.

She ran as far she dared to the edge of their circle and wielded her bow. She took an arrow in her hand and drew, ignoring the badgering ache in her ribcage. As always she took a split second to breathe and let loose the arrow, her aim was true and it struck its target, a careless orc, right in the head. She then shot another four consecutive arrows, each hitting their mark with absolute precision.

Kili ran up and past her, taking a moment to acknowledge her skill; he gave her a sideways glance, his eyebrows raised in astonishment, and half bowed. Again she was smirking. She spun on the spot letting out another reel of arrows, as before they met their targets with ease. While almost incapacitated she wasn't completely useless.

The others in the company took up defensive positions raising their weapons ready for the impending fight, and that was when Braerka noticed that Gandalf was gone.

"Where's Gandalf?" growled Dwalin, as if reading her mind, yet again.

"He's abandoned us!" exclaimed Gloin furiously; his fiery anger matched the red of his beard.

The others began falling back as the orcs began to close in.

"There's more coming!" cried Kili, falling back beside her, still firing the odd arrow at wargs that got too close for comfort.

"We're surrounded!" Fili screamed, as their enemy spread out around their perimeter.

She did as Kili did and picked off the easy targets and those that came too close, before reaching for her last arrow. She look at the scene before her, their odds of winning were lower than low, they were done for; surrounded, outnumbered and exhausted from running, there was no way they could win this fight.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw a pale slither of shining metal appear. She looked and saw Thorin had drawn his elven blade, it shone bright in the sunlight, like a beacon of hope, catching everyone's eyes.

"HOLD YOUR GROUND!" he shouted, his strong leadership qualities coming into play. The others obeyed and Braerka found herself also conforming. Their enemy closed in quickly but they were ready.

Conveniently timed Gandalf reappeared from behind an out of place boulder.

"This way you fools! Come on, quickly!" he ordered, shaking his staff crossly, and then receded back behind the rock.

"All of you move now!" commanded Thorin, running to the rock and seeing it lead to secret cave of sorts. "Now! Come on!"

The others quickly sped to the entrance and began sliding down into it, one by one the skidded down the slope to safety, Kili using all the arrows he had left kept most of the wargs at bay. Braerka still had her last arrow nocked on her bow, only wanting to use it when she had no reason not to. That moment came when a warg darted at Kili's blind side, she shot the riderless mongrel in the head, its body dropping limp and twitching to the ground at his feet.

He nodded to her in thanks, and backed off closer to the cave, but still being too far for comfort was hailed by Thorin to get a move on.

He sped up his retreat, snatching Braerka's hand causing her to drop her bow, and sprinted with her to the mouth of the cave. Fili slipped in closely followed by Kili, then Braerka and last but not least Thorin.

Seemingly safe in the claustrophobic space, they heard the resounding drum of approaching hooves and a sounding horn, Braerka recognised the trumpeting tones, '_Elves!_' she thought.

She and the others sat in silence listening to the slaughter above; the numerous growls and snarls of their foe reduced to pitiful whimpers and screams. All went quiet as the hooves retreated; the only sound in their sanctuary was the deep and heavy breathing of the company.

In those few short seconds of peace Braerka cast her attention to Thorin; he was almost on top of her. Only now being this close did she noticed the streaks of grey snaking through his hair, it was much longer than she remembered but then he was much older.

She steadied her breathing and took in his scent; he smelt exactly as he had all those years ago; that was something. Looking him up and down, she saw he was definitely still the iron-willed dwarven prince who had shown her warmth and given her a home all those years ago. But he was so different as well; he was no longer a young prince but a ruthless leader, a crownless king. His piercing blue eyes were darker, heavier, with the weight of all he'd seen his lifespan, she assumed. She felt for him, he had shown her kindness and wished that life in return had been kinder to him.

She averted her eyes as he turned to look at her, when suddenly the sound of the marching hooves returned right by the mouth of the cave. They were followed by a few more screams of pain and death and then an orc tumbled down into the cave, the company backed up as the body rolled to a stop at their feet.

Again the drumming hooves dissipated and an air of calm took hold of them as they realised the orc was stone cold dead.

Thorin stepped forward and prodded the orc with his sword before sheathing it and yanking out the arrow embedded in its neck.

He examined it with angry eyes, "Elves!" he spat in a tone of distaste casting it to the ground. He then glowered at Gandalf silently communicating his anger. Braerka knew all too well of his dislike of elves, he had never forgiven the elves of Greenwood for not aiding them in saving Erebor. She too shared in the dislike a little having been partly raised by him but would never openly display it.

Gandalf simply shook Thorin's glare off him and began moving into the cave as some of the others had begun to do.

Dwalin had found an almost perfectly hidden pathway and tore down the overgrown vines that hid its entrance. "I can't see where it leads! Should we follow it?" he asked, unsure of what to do.

With no lack of sarcasm Bofur answered him, "No, we're going to stay here and share juvenile stories! Of course we follow it!"

The remainder of the group pushed forward in haste, wanting badly to escape the tightness of the rock, though the dwarves were accustom to living underground, the closeness of the air was uncomfortable. They did not want to linger too long.

Exhausted and drained from the cross country run Braerka could barely stand. Nothing seemed to be working for her, not the Soul Reaver not Oin's pain draft, nothing. She took a few steps forward before falling against the wall, she propped herself up against it before slowly sliding down it and curling up. She could remember only one time when she had felt as helpless as she did now, she wished not for the memory to surface, but her heavy eyelids won over and shut and the images came flashing back.

She blocked them, she didn't want to relive it, not again but she was weak from her excursions and couldn't fight it. She allowed her head to fall back gently against the rock and she remembered.


	7. Chapter 7: The Short Walk to Paradise

**An: Okay, second attempt at this chapter, hopefully this is better than the last time. Big shout out to Cyphercat, who greatly improved the storyline for the flashback in a review :) Thank you, and thanks to everybody who has read, reviewed, followed etc. so far. Please enjoy chapter 7.2 :)**

**Chapter 7: The Short Walk to Paradise**

She laid there, her burning muscles cooling against the cold rock, and allowing the memory to resurface bit by bit. That day, in a way, had been the beginning of her as she was. If it had never happened other things would have played so differently and she wouldn't be where she was or nearly as strong, both physically and mentally.

* * *

It was mid-summer almost 4 years after the loss of Erebor. The dwarves had been through much, traversing the wilds of middle-earth looking for a new place to call home.

Braerka had become accustomed to the daily routine. Some months after they had settled down in a small temporary dwelling, Thorin had deemed her, and several other dwarfling's, ready for training. Even while on the move they would be taught and now every morning at the crack of dawn she would be woken by Thorin, she would then briskly get dressed and run down to the fields with eagerness and await instruction. She loved it, the daily plan, the order; everything was constant.

On one day however, after several years of fierce training, Thorin and Dwalin had given them something different to do. She and the other dwarflings would have to fend for themselves in the wilds surrounding their encampment for four whole days alone; using the only skills they had been taught. Braerka had been timid towards the idea, unlike the others that had been raised observing and learning these skills; she hadn't been learning for very long and was mindful of the fact that she would have to be successful on order to be truly accepted.

Dwalin had briefly explained to them what they would have to do, "You will each get a pack with supplies for one day, use them wisely you never know what might happen. Your task is to survive… catch your own food, make your own shelters or perish… you will only get one chance at this"

The other dwarflings had teased her that day as they prepared for their endeavour; she couldn't remember their names, but their young faces were clear as day. Being the only girl put in for training she had been the source of many a day's amusement for them, the fact that she wasn't even a dwarf made things all the worse for her. But she knew she was different and ignored their ploys.

Shortly before leaving Thorin called her over, he handed her a pack and then kneeled down to her eye level, just like he had done not so long ago.

"The worst thing you can do is panic, stay calm remember what I've taught you and stay alive" he told her before laying a light kiss on her forehead. She loved it when he did this she felt safe and as though they were the only two in the entire world. She had noticed he did this more often since his father had begun acting odd and in turn spent less time with him, she thought maybe he was afraid of losing her, as he had lost him, and sought to make the most of the time he spent with her.

She nodded and smiled at his words, every day she grew stronger for having been with him, he was-everything else aside-the best thing that had ever happened to her. Before she could barely stay upright when fighting but now, with his training and direction, she could defend herself with almost anything. She subconsciously tightened her grip on the small dagger he had given her.

Dwalin had called all the dwarflings together before starting their trial. He told them not to go any further than the boundaries marked and not to be helping each other. And then they were off, all six dwarflings, and Braerka, started their trek out into the outer reaches of the neighbouring forest, not knowing what the next four days would bring and hoping that everything would go as planned.

The first 3 days went swimmingly for her, she was able to catch rabbits and fish using the skills Thorin had taught her. She had made herself a tiny refuge in one of the larger trees, she had always been better than the others at climbing. That was probably the only advantage she had.

It was hard to believe that things had been going so well from where she was now. She had fallen down and old mine shaft by the looks of it, from decades past, and though it was not that deep she had landed awkwardly and was trapped, her foot stuck beneath the fallen rubble that had given way beneath her weight. Her initial response had been panicked cries and hopeless pleas to the surrounding area, but soon she calmed remembering Thorin's words, _'The worst thing you can do is panic…_'

She looked up at what she could see of the sky, it was getting dark, the others would be returning now and here she was stuck. She knew the first they would assume was that she was dead... That's what happened when you failed this test; if you didn't come back you never came back.

* * *

Timed passed slowly and she fell asleep. When she awoke looking around she saw she was still stuck in the same old shaft but there was one key difference, it was raining, and heavily, the hole had begun to fill. She was up to her waist in rainwater.

She began to panic again and struggled desperately to shake free of the debris holding her down, but it would not shift. She then began clawing at the wall to pull her up but that wouldn't work either, the wetted dirt and stone came loose under her grip and only allowed her to fall back down.

She slumped back into still rising water, and began to cry softly. Then she heard voices deep and distant through the lashing rain and whipping wind, and she remembered what Thorin had told her, "_the worst thing you can do is panic, stay calm and remember what I've taught you and stay alive"_

The words echoed like bells in her head, but she calmed and began to rapidly and methodically think it through.

The voices she thought she had heard were gone but if there was a chance they were still there, and would still hear her, she would take it. She began shouting and yelling in the hope that someone would hear her, "HELP! ANYONE! I'M DOWN HERE!" She screamed at the top of her lungs over and over, choking as she swallowed some rainwater every now and then.

She had partially propped herself against the wall of the shaft and was met with an icy embrace when she slipped and fell under the murky waters. She re-emerged choking and spluttering, and again tried to scream but the rain was fast and much stronger than she was at that moment, and it drained her. In that moment she thought her survival to that point had be worthless why survive Smaug only to perish at the hands of Mother Nature?

But she wouldn't allow herself to perish that easily, taking no time to think she sucked in a deep breath and dived, the murky waters blurred her vision but she felt with her hands and took hold of the weight on her leg. Within an unknown strength she shifted it off and then quickly resurfaced, gasping for air and spitting out the water. But she had done it, freed herself, now all she had to do was climb out or waits for the water level to rise high enough. The second option was not her ideal choice but she was exhausted and she felt her eyes begin to close, so she waited.

In the next few seconds the moonlight that could reach down into the shaft was blotted out and then she felt another presence with her in the shaft. She felt hands take hold of her and pull her from her constricted prison. She felt the warm night air on her skin as she was lifted from the water. She felt the hardness of the ground and coolness of the moist grass on her back as she was laid down.

She forced her eyes open and saw a tall man staring down at her soaked form. She coughed the water from her lungs and allowed him to take her up in his strong arms. He had held her tightly that night, keeping her close and warm as he travelled far from the place.

She remembered that night feeling overpowering fear and taking what she needed from it to survive; she had used it to her advantage and had done so ever since. That night had been the start, the man who found her, made no attempt to return her to her family, but instead took her far away and forged her into who she was, an Assassin.

Every day since she used Thorin's words to carry on, even after she lost him, or rather he lost her.

* * *

She let the images of the event reel off like a film in her head. She had been so helpless that day, much like she felt now. The cool rock against her back, feeling alone and lost it was all the same, save for one difference she wasn't in any real danger and could rightly move if she wanted but she didn't really, she wanted Thorin to come a hold her like he used to all those years ago, to tell her that everything was going to be alright and that he was there.

She shook her head, those wants and wishes were long dead and would probably never be fulfilled she reminded herself. She tried force herself up but her limbs wouldn't respond, she was drained beyond her limit and wanted only to rest.

She could feel herself drifting off into sleep when a timid voice called to her. "Shepard? Are you alright? Here have some water." She cracked open her eyes, and then opened them wide when she saw Bilbo standing beside her, his face ripe with worry, holding out a skin of water. He pushed into her hands and urged her drink. She accepted it silently and took several large gulps before handing back to him. "No keep it, I'm sure I can get another from one of the others" he said sincerely, smiling at her. "Thanks" she replied meagrely, her voice raw from lack of water and energy.

She felt somewhat refreshed by the icy cold water and pushed herself up cringing at the pain in her side and leg but started forward after the others, "Come on" she urged him, "Don't want to get left behind again do we?!" She placed a friendly hand on his shoulder, half to hold herself up and half to get him to move, and walked with him.

Braerka and Bilbo quickly caught up to the others. Gandalf smiled suspiciously as they re-joined them. They walked in silence for a while, too exhausted to talk, their energy spent on running for their lives not moments ago. Braerka was amazed at herself, how she found herself able to continue was beyond her.

Braerka walked with a heavy step, fatigued beyond measure and desperately wanting to use her Soul Reaver; but with her luck lately she knew there would be no point.

After a short time she noticed that Kili was falling back person by person and was eventually by her side. He was slightly smaller than her, by about an inch or two; he was tall for a dwarf but definitely not the tallest of the group. She tripped over herself yet again, exhaustion beginning to set in. He caught her and allowed her to lean against him while she steadied herself.

"You're in a bad way; we really need to get you to a healer!" He told her, his arm wrapped tightly around her waist to keep her upright.

"I'll be fine, Kili, I just need some rest is all! Thanks for the concern" She exclaimed, trying to seem strong although deep down the pain was slowly killing her.

He huffed, "I'm being serious! While you may be some badass hunter or something, but you're still only human! You're not immortal!"

_'Not entirely true'_ she thought, but then she wasn't entirely sure, she could be immortal, she might actually live forever and not be capable of death. She didn't want to find out though, but the questions still remained _'Why had she stopped aging in the first place? How was she still alive?_'

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Kili continue his rant, "You need help, whether want it or not!"

She smiled at his vehemence, his dark brown eyes flamed with passion and he spoke to her. He really seemed to care about her and her well-being; it was almost like a younger Thorin was standing before her. It was strange to her, no-one had cared for her this much for years, and she had never let anyone get close enough to want to.

She smiled acceptingly at him. "Ok then" she said, too tired to argue.

His expression changed to confusion, "Wait... What?!"

"I said ok, I'll go see a healer as soon as physically possible!" She repeated.

He was stunned, "Whoa!" He exclaimed, she looked at him, her expression said, 'what?!' He quickly explained, "Not many people actually take my advice, save for Fili, but he's my brother he sort of has to! People usually find it... how can I put it? Useless and more likely to make things worse!"

She laughed at his last comment and so did he. Fili must have overheard as he turned and gave them a sly grin, he chuckled then looked forward again. "We'll I think your advice, in this instance, is very good and couldn't possibly make things worse!" She assured him. He continued to smile, his cheeks slightly blushing at the comment.

"So you promise?" he asked, making sure she hadn't tried to change the topic and avoid it.

"Promise" she told him.

She suddenly realised he still had his arms around her waist, and then she thought, _'God! Does he like me too?!'_, Fili had been all to forward about it and she began to think maybe she had overlooked Kili's attempts; she had to admit his hands seem all too comfortable resting on her. Or was she just becoming deluded, was the dehydration and fatigue going to her head?

They came to a narrow passage not too long later and were forced to continue in single file; Kili consequently had to release his hold on her but chose to walk behind her in case she fell again.

They again walked in silence, trudging onwards through the twists and turns of the high rock walls. Braerka stroked the walls with her hands, to keep herself upright, and to let herself know she was still alive as her fingertips went numb and acquired and tingling sensation a while after moving over the rough surface.

The path then came to a wide dell, which opened up into a large, airy valley. Braerka was totally taken aback by the sight that met her eyes. The others were equally unprepared for what lay before them.

Gandalf stepped forward amused by their shock and awe, "The valley of Imladris!" He stated, "In the common tongue it is known by another name".

"Rivendell" Bilbo input, Gandalf, nodded to him before finishing, "The Last Homely House East of the sea!"

They all looked down in awe at the beautiful sight. The entirety of the haven was glowing, the sunlight bouncing off every surface it found. Waterfalls cascaded gracefully down the rocky walls encasing the metropolis in the valley. Birds flew overhead and soared across the hollow, settling on rooftops not far away.

"Wow!" Exclaimed Braerka, it had been a while since she had stepped foot in Rivendell, and of all the times she had been here, she had never entered this way. It was breath-taking, more beautiful than she remembered. They all stood in silence taking it in.

The moment was interrupted by a less than happy Thorin. He turned to Gandalf, slamming his axe to the ground, "This was your plan!" He spat angrily, "To seek refuge with our enemy! I told you..."

"You have no enemies here, Thorin Oakenshield!" Retaliated Gandalf, appalled by his ignorance. "The only ill will to be found here is that which you bring yourself!"

Thorin was having none of it, Bilbo stood beside Gandalf looking concerned and slightly bemused by the situation. "You think the elves will help us? Give our quest their blessing?! No! They will try to stop us!"

"Well of course they will!" said Gandalf, his anger diffused, "but we have questions that need to be answered and I believe here is where we can find our answers."

Defeated and with no argument to this statement, Thorin backed down, exhaling loudly, he was not keen on the idea of getting help from the elves, they had given him no help in his time of need before, why would now be any different?

Braerka looked back over her shoulder at him, feeling his pain. She too, like Thorin, had some distaste for elves, but she never showed it. She blamed them for the loss of her home many years ago, as he did, but that was in the past, no amount of hate was ever going to change that.

She looked to the rest of the company, they were waiting rather impatiently. Some of them were in quiet conversation, others standing awkwardly apart from the others. Most of them shared his distrust of elf-kind, the younger not old enough to understand or to care, but took after their elders and disliked them anyway.

"If we are to be successful this will need to be handled with tact..." Gandalf continued, a sly smirk decorated his face, "... and respect and no small degree of charm!" Braerka looked to him smiling, he was a funny old man, and she liked him. He started forward, coaxing the others to follow, "which is why you'll leave the talking to me".

Reluctantly, the dwarves followed. They descended the narrow, windy slope and began the last stretch of the journey into the flat sparsely wooded entryway. No-one spoke, they simply followed the wizard and stared in wonderment at their surroundings. Braerka found herself slowing greatly but knew that the closer she got the more safe, she and everyone else, would be.

* * *

**AN: Please R&R and enjoy, next chapter coming soon :) **


	8. Chapter 8: The Last Homely House

**Chapter 8: The Last Homely House**

Slowly but surely they all made their way down the narrow pathway to the Elven dwelling. Coming to an even narrower bridge they were forced to cross it in pairs, all the while taking in their surroundings and gawking at its wondrous beauty. The dwarves still had their weapons drawn for fear of attack, they were unnecessarily on edge if the elves had wanted them dead or captured they would have done it already.

The only ones of the large group not agitated and fully relaxed and unarmed were Gandalf, Bilbo and Braerka. She watched as Bilbo looked around enthusiastically, his head flitting from left to right, his eyes wide; he didn't want to miss a single detail. She admired his keen interest; few people who travel stop to take in the beauty around them, she was glad he was taking all of it in.

They finally came to a stop in the open courtyard across the bridge and she was glad for it. She could barely stand and felt that she would collapse soon. The dwarves remained on edge and suspicious of the inhabitants; they kept their weapons drawn.

They waited a few moments before an elf greeted them, "Mithrandir…" he said loudly, descending the stone steps.

"Ah, Lindir" replied Gandalf, thankful someone he knew had come to welcome them; his eyes however where searching behind the elf.

The entirety of the group behind the wizard watched the exchange intently with keen eyes, wary of the elf; they instinctively drew closer to each other. Braerka by now had moved up to the front and stood beside Gandalf; Lindir turned to her.

"Well, well, if it isn't the Shepherd of the Forest!" he said snidely, she didn't appreciate the surprised tone and ignored him when he raised his hand to shakes hers.

"Nice to see you too, Lindir!" she answered, glaring at him and allowing his hand to drop back to his side. She had never liked him he was too self-centred and cared not for others opinions. Although it had been 25 years since their last meeting, she could clearly see the unease with which he still regarded her.

Slightly shaken, the dark haired elf returned his attention to Gandalf. The wizard took a second to acknowledge what had just happened; he viewed Braerka with confused eyes. She knew he had many questions now, as would the dwarves. She would have to answer to them sooner or later; later seemed ideal.

Lindir began speaking in elvish, to keep the dwarfs out of their conversation, but Braerka knew the language well and listened.

"_We heard you had crossed into the valley, why?"_ the elf began.

"We must speak with Lord Elrond…" replied the wizard, speaking in the common tongue to give the dwarves a little reassurance as to what was being said.

Lindir sighed, "He is not here…"

"Not here? Where is he?" asked the wizard, not about to turn around and leave.

It was then that the familiar sound of elven horns sounded. Turning sluggishly Braerka felt unsure of what would ensue; she was anxious for the dwarves and how they would respond. Gandalf turned with her as the sound of clapping hooves grew nearer. Braerka noticed the company tense and move closer again.

The smile that had decorated Gandalf's face quickly faded when he saw the approaching band of elves showed no sign of slowing.

Thorin was then immediately shouting orders to them, "CLOSE RANKS!"

All the dwarves moved into a very compact crowd, an unsuspecting Bilbo was yanked to the centre and the others bundled around him.

The mounted elves galloped across the narrow bridge and began circling the small group, looking down on them. Braerka thought them cruel to do so, what they were doing now was far from welcoming and more threatening; they knew rightly of the strained relations between dwarf's and elves and they were only making it worse.

They finally came to a stop.

"Gandalf!" said one of the elves. It was Lord Elrond; he was clad in burgundy armour and looked the same as he had all those years ago. Again they spoke in elvish; she stood translating subconsciously as they did.

"_My friend, where have you been?"_ began Gandalf.

"_We were hunting a stray pack of orcs that had come up from the south, we slew a number near the hidden pass…"_ he answered, dismounting his horse and approaching Gandalf; he embraced him warmly.

"Strange for orcs to come so close to ours borders, something has drawn them near." He said handing as orcish sword to Lindir who reluctantly took it. Elrond then turned to regard his guests.

"That may have been us I'm afraid" the wizard told him, gesturing to them.

Lord Elrond observed them then perked up noticing a familiar face. He took several steps forward before gently placing his hands on Braerka's shoulders. He spoke to her in elvish.

"_It is good to see you are alive, old friend! Tell me, what have you been doing the last 25 years?"_ he asked her. She noticed Gandalf give her a queer look, she was certain it had something to do with the '25 years' part.

Much to Gandalf's and the rest of the company's surprise she responded in fluent elvish. "_Oh you know, this and that, not much really."_

Elrond smiled, he laughed a deep throaty laugh before continuing. "_Getting into all kinds of trouble no doubt! You were always good at that!"_

The pair laughed, the dwarves looked on with puzzled expressions, it made her realise how little they really knew about her; they had no idea.

Elrond then gave her a hard friendly slap on the back which caused her to flinch with pain; she had forgotten about her broken ribs.

"You are hurt!" he gasped in the common tongue, "Lindir! Bring her to the Houses of healing, make sure she is well!"

She was about to protest when she remembered her little chat with Kili on the way down. She had promised him she would see a healer a soon as possible. She found his worried face among the dwarves, he returned the look; his eyes pleaded with her to go and keep her promise.

She smiled and winked at him, he smiled in return. She knew she needed the help as much as she didn't want to accept it, but she had made a promise, she always kept her promises.

At the urging of the Elrond she was escorted up the stone steps and away from the dwarves. She hoped to see them soon, and hoped that they played nicely with the elves, that some bond of trust could be made even for a short while.

* * *

Braerka was quickly led down the open airy hall of Rivendell to the 'Houses of Healing' where she was left in the care of Nadia. The she-elf had stripped her down to her undergarments and given her belongs to another elf to bring to her assigned chambers.

Nadia then lay her down on the soft bed and examined her from head to toe, discerning the extent of the damage. Braerka felt very uncomfortable and exposed; yes she understood it was a necessity that she be almost nude, and yes she had been naked before, but never with onlookers. She liked to keep to herself and never understood the point in intimate pleasure. She preferred to be alone, '_The 180 year old virgin!'_ she thought, cracking a weak smile.

Nadia then left her abruptly, "I will be back soon" she had called to her leaving the room.

Braerka lay in silence for a few minutes and then sat up. Then noticed a mirror in the corner of the room; she eased herself up and limped over to it. She considered her reflection, her beautifully placed curves had been the source of many a bad night for her, men couldn't seem to resist. She looked terrible, exhausted; black rings were starting to form under hers eyes and she was dirty covered in muck and blood, she had never looked so close to her real age.

She turned and beheld her perfectly toned abdomen; it was marred with blue and purple bruises marking the location of her broken ribs. '_I'm lucky I don't have a punctured lung!_' she thought. She then moved her gaze to her lower leg, the actual bite mark was all but gone, very feint teeth marks were the only indications that it had ever happened. But then why was it causing her so much pain, _'must be infected or something_' she assumed.

Nadia then returned carrying bandages and salves, accompanied by two other elves, this only made Braerka more uncomfortable, the last thing she wanted was more people looking at her almost naked form. Nadia was annoyed that she had moved and ushered her to lie on the bed once again.

Braerka sat unsure and unable to relax. She watched as the other elves helped Nadia put together a concoction; they added herbs to the mixture, valerian roots among them. It was a sleeping draught. Nadia took it and offered it to her, like with Oin's pain draught she eyed it warily.

"Drink it, it will help" Nadia said, encouraging her. Braerka so desperately needed sleep, she could feel it; her eyelids were heavy and she felt like there was an invisible weight holding her down and slowing her every movement. But then again she would rather be awake and aware of what she was happening.

She looked at the healer; she saw in her eyes a growing impatience and that if she didn't drink the remedy soon Nadia wouldn't hesitate in forcing it down her throat. So she drank it, unlike Oin's tonic it had a sickly sweet taste to it. Seconds later she began to feel light-headed and felt her extremities becoming numb. Nadia eased her down into a sleeping position.

"Sleep well" Nadia told her. Then her eyes closed and all was black.

* * *

As she slept her mind wandered, jumping to points in her life she hadn't thought about in decades.

The first she saw was her first day at the Assassin's stronghold. That day had been uneventful; mostly her trying to run away and being dragged back every time; they had ultimately locked her in a cell as she was becoming so troublesome. The scene replayed a few times before moving on.

Next she was at her initiation ceremony, she and several others stood and the top of a long hall. Years had passed and she had grown into a young woman, the child she had been was long gone and only memory at that point. But still she remembered Thorin and his words of wisdom, they guided her every step. They were handed their very first official contracts that day, she remembered it clearly. The scene morphed before her eyes once again.

She stood in an abandoned underground hollow, holding a tiny blue crystal in her hand. It was the day she had found the Soul Reaver. That had been an adventure, her assassination target had fled and attempted to hide in the hollow near Fangorn forest but he had failed. She had found him easily, ended his life swiftly and on her way out found a room full of wondrous treasures the crystal being among them.

Again the picture morphed, only this time it showed more recent happenings. The unfurling of the events with the trolls, being chased by wargs not long after, speaking with the dwarves and hobbit; it all played in her dormant mind.

She then saw something she didn't recognise, not a memory from the past or present but rather a figment of her imagination or possibly the furture. She stood in a battlefield, the ground strewn with the dead and stained red with their blood. The battle was still raging all around her, she watched as the masked warriors met their ends at each other's hands. She felt a sudden wave of panic come over her and then she was running, but from what?

The scene began to blur and distort as she ran. The combatants in battle didn't seem to notice her as she sped past them. She suddenly stopped coming to an impassable stone wall, she turned her eyes meeting a raging tunnel of fire, all behind her was gone and only the searing heat and blinding light remained. She tried to run again but she wouldn't move, she heard an ominous voice call her name through the flames and then all was silent and dim.

* * *

Then she woke up, a light layer of sweat upon her skin. She was breathing heavily and it took her a while to notice where she was. Sitting upright in the bed in her own chamber, she allowed the silky covers to fall off her, revealing the bandages that encased her belly. Nadia had done everything while she was sleeping and had done a good job of it; before sitting up would have caused her great agony but now it was normal, there was no pain.

Slipping out of the bed she noticed her ankle was also bandaged and the rest of her was clean. She cringed at the thought of the elves washing her by hand, but then she hadn't been in a position to refuse it.

Standing up she took a moment to gain her balance as she still felt the effects of the sleeping potion working on her. After she walked over to the balcony on the other side of the room, a strong breeze was blowing it cooled her greatly. She stared out at the horizon, the sun was low in the sky, had she slept all day?

She then remembered about the dwarves then began to wonder where they were and how they were getting on. Then her mind once again focused on the dream, she hadn't experienced a dream like that in a long time. It was so vivid and real; chilling, like a warning.

As she made to go back into the room she heard the door begin to open, not wanting anyone else see her naked-or anywhere close to it-she jumped at the bed and pulled the covers up around herself.

A she-elf entered holding a parcel, Braerka immediately relaxed and stood when she recognised who it was.

"Arwen?!" she said, walking up to her old friend and taking her in bear hug. It had been so long since their last meeting, of all the people in Rivendell it had been Arwen she missed most.

"It has been too long Braerka!" she said, returning the hug awkwardly, still holding the parcel. Braerka had forgotten she was wearing almost nothing and at that moment didn't care.

She then allowed her friend to walk into the room before closing the door behind her. Arwen looked at her then handed her the parcel, her expression said, _I didn't pick it, don't murder me_!

Braerka tore back the wrapping and understood her friends plead. It was clothing, which she was thankful for, but the form it took wasn't appealing to her.

"A dress?" she said, looking to Arwen her expression was of friendly amusement, her smile was endearing. "You expect me to wear a dress? No, where are my own clothes? My bag?"

"They were beyond saving, old and tattered, covered in blood, we are currently making new ones for you, your bag… I'm not sure honestly. Your weapons are with the dwarf's. And Braerka you have to wear this until then…" Arwen explained, making sure to bring her attention back to the outfit.

Braerka lifted the green dress by the shoulders and examined it shaking her head in revolt.

"No, Arwen you know me! I have never worn a dress before in my life and I am not about to start!"

The she-elf walked back to door not meaning to stay long, "Yes I do know you, if you don't want to wear it walk around as you are!"

Braerka then suddenly remembered that she wasn't wearing anything in the way of clothes and she subconsciously pulled the material close to her at the thought.

"That's what I thought!" Arwen said smiling, she turned and left.

Braerka once again considered the dress and unwillingly accepted it. She slipped it on, it fit like a glove; the silky satin like material clung to her frame perfectly. It was long and flowed all the way down to her toes. She looked at herself in the mirror in the corner of the room and fixed herself.

She breathed deeply, looking at her reflection, "Here goes nothing!" she told herself before leaving the room to search for her new friends.

* * *

It wasn't long before she came across Elrond and Gandalf speaking alone, quietly in a hall. She approached them nervously and cleared her throat to announce herself. They stopped acknowledging her arrival and stepped apart from each other, she got the feeling they had just been talking about her.

"My, my you look beautiful Shepherd!" gasped Gandalf, Elrond simply nodded in acceptance grinning at her. Had he been the one who chose it? She cringed embarrassed by the compliment: she never knew how to reply.

"You are looking well might I add! Since I last saw you anyway…" he began, "the dark haired dwarf will be pleased to see you are recovering! He has asked about you many times."

She thought for a moment, dark haired dwarf? She thought to herself, he could mean Thorin, but wouldn't he have just said that, no she assumed it must have been one of the other dark haired dwarves, but that left Bifur, Bofur and Kili. Bifur couldn't even speak westron, and Bofur had shown no interest, she ruled both of them out, so that left only Kili. She smirked coming to the conclusion; he really did seem to care.

"Well you do clean up well!" said a voice from behind them, they all turned and were greeted by Thorin. He was wearing his usual attire minus all the heavy armour. He looked much younger without it too, she concluded.

Braerka smirked a little but said nothing. An awkward silence took them for a short moment before Elrond motioned them onwards with the promise of dinner. She followed closely behind them trying to hide herself, she was conscious that everyone would soon see her, and that questions would no doubt be asked.


	9. Chapter 9: Holding Out

**Chapter 9: Holding Out**

After Braerka had been taken to the healers, things had almost gotten a bit hairy for the remainder of the company. Elrond had again begun speaking in elvish again, which had caused Gloin to take offence at an invite to dinner, but it was quickly sorted.

They now sat with bowls of fruits and vegetables before them, Kili sat around the long table with the other dwarves and Bilbo.

Eleven musicians played peaceful melodies in the background, and in response Oin (the deafest) stuffed his hearing aid with a napkin to block the elven racket.

Dori and Ori sat near him. Ori was prodding at a leaf of lettuce screwing up his face in disgust.

"Just try it, go on!" Dori urged him, in response Ori only turned his nose up more before asking if they had chips.

Kili laughed and stuffed his face, he was glad there was food whether it be green vegetables or not, it had seemed to be ages since they last sat down to a good meal.

He looked down the table to Bilbo, the hobbit looked amazingly at home amongst the dwarves and elves, and he was recommending that they try anything and everything lay out before them, knowing rightly that dwarves don't eat many greens.

While most were happy, the oldest of the group were disappointed to say the least with the 'so-called' food, Dwalin began rummaging through the bowls in search of some form of meat as if it were hidden from view.

They believed this food to be for animals like rabbits and horses not for fully grown, battle-hardened dwarves.

Kili sat munching on a stick of carrot, when he heard talking in a nearby corridor. Elrond, Gandalf and Thorin walked in and were closely followed by young woman in green dress of silk that sparkled in the light of the dying sun.

It took him and the others more than a few seconds to register who she was, she looked so different in a dress; a little uncomfortable too. He started to get up when Fili beat him to it.

"Shepard!" he said loudly above the music, rising to his feet, "You're alive!"

The others looked in her direction hearing Fili's exclamation. Kili noticed her cheeks blush under their scrutiny; she was clearly embarrassed by all the attention.

"Of course I am, Fili! Why wouldn't I be?" she questioned him, trying to turn the attention away from her and not succeeding for their eyes were fixated on her.

He moved to make what would have been a snide comment about the elves when Kili kicked him in the shin, to remind him where he was. "No reason!" he squirmed, through gritted teeth stifling back a weak cry. She smiled in response and then took her seat at Elrond's table.

Kili sat staring at her in wonderment; she was so beautiful to him right now even if she did look uncomfortable in the attire.

He imagined she wished to be in her own clothes and not wrapped in the foreign silky material from the way she was constantly fixing herself and trying to pull the sleeves up closer to her neck.

He was forced to tear his eyes off her every now and then, when he would faintly hear his name mentioned in the conversation at his table. He would input the odd groan or mumbled phrase but his thoughts were still with her.

'The Mysterious Woman' as Fili had introduced her to him on the night they had run into trouble with the trolls. She really was a mystery; none of them knew anything about her bar her name, which in itself was slightly unbelievable; I mean who calls their kid 'Shepherd'? And Lindir had called her THE Shepherd, which only raised more questions.

The lack of information about her was daunting in ways especially since she seemed to know things she ought naught to know.

He pondered her existence and began to create his own past for her, 'maybe she's a lost princess from a distant land' or 'a goddess trapped in human form'? Kili even admitted to himself that these ideas where I little farfetched to say they least, she was, from her appearance, just a normal girl after all.

It was then that she stood up and approached the nearby balcony, the light breeze blowing past her made her look elemental, the light made her look like porcelain so fragile and pale.

He had a gut feeling that only he could protect her for some reason, he put it down to the infatuation from which he was suffering; never before had he fallen for a girl this quickly before, it was usually the other way around. He only hoped she felt the same.

It was his brother's hand swiping in front of his face that then brought him back. His head spun to see Fili wearing a slightly concerned expression.

"Are you ok? You haven't said or eaten much?" he asked. Kili didn't answer straight away but gave another fleeting glance in 'her' direction.

Fili followed his eyes. "Ha, you think you actually have a chance. I tell you she's already fallen for me, it's just a matter of time before she realises it! I don't think she's even noticed you!" he snorted. Kili felt a childish rage boil up in him, he wasn't sure if his brother really meant it or if he just teasing.

"Ha, you're so full of yourself Fili! It's me she wants, you'll see!" he sniped back at him. The others at the table laughed.

"Yes we shall! The first of us she kisses wins!" Fili said offering his hand to make a deal, Kili shook and it was done.

* * *

Throughout the whole meal Braerka could feel eyes boring into her. She didn't bother looking but just kept internally screaming at them, 'Just eat and stop staring at me please!'

Elrond, Gandalf and Thorin sat around the small round table discussing what had happened with the trolls and orcs. Her mind phased into and out of the conversation, she had pretty much lived it and didn't think it necessary for her to even listen.

Her mind then suddenly wandered back to her bag and its contents. She was praying that someone hadn't gone through it and found the contract, how would it look.

She dwelled on the negatives outcomes; nearly every possibility was the worst case scenario and lead to her brutal death. She shook the thoughts from her head and then proceeded to try and cover herself up some more; the dress left her feeling exposed, though not as exposed as she had felt with Nadia.

She heard Elrond begin naming the swords they had found in the troll hoard. Orcrist, the goblin cleaver an elven short sword, and Glamdring, the foe-hammer an elven long-sword; both crafted during and for the Gondolin wars.

She phased out after that point and finally decided she would eat something. She lifted several cherry tomatoes from a bowl and put them on her place.

Taking one she shoved it into her mouth, as she bit down, the bitter-sweet juices oozed out and sent life buzzing through her tongue. It was the first thing she had eaten since the tavern nearly two whole days ago.

She nibbled at a few more before lifting a small stick of celery and crunching down on it. _'Some pork would go great with this!'_ she thought, sharing in the dwarves longing for meat.

As she chewed she phased back into the conversation.

"What exactly where you doing on the great east road?!" she heard Elrond ask.

She stopped all she was doing and looked inquisitively between Thorin and Gandalf. _'Yes! Finally some information on this quest of yours!_' she thought with excitement. She sat up straighter prepared to take in their words but none came.

Both Gandalf and Thorin looked at each other awkwardly, silently communicating with their eyes. Then Gandalf finally spoke, "we shall discuss that later, for now let us enjoy this meal."

Disappointed and annoyed at their lack of an answer, Braerka slumped back into her chair.

Shortly after she stood up and walked to the edge of the balcony, her hands stroked the smooth alabaster stone work. She ignored the continuing conversation and looked out at the scenery, sighing deeply. Why couldn't they just say something, anything to hint at what they were doing? She considered it; it had to be something personal and very important for them to not want to mention anything.

Her thoughts were disturbed and she turned on hearing a loud outburst of laughter. She saw the rest of the company laughing wildly as Fili and Kili shook hands. They looked like they were ready to wrestle each other. _'What on earth_?' she wondered.

Moments later Elrond was standing, "Come let us take our leave, I imagine we have much to discuss…" he said, urging Thorin, Gandalf and the others to follow him.

Some of the dwarves having just gotten comfortable groaned loudly as they stood up to follow. Braerka lingered behind before deciding to join them. She followed closely and in silence.

Elrond left off most of the company in a fairly large room and allowed Thorin a few moments with them in privacy. Now they were alone Elrond spoke freely to her and walked a short distance from the door.

"How did you come by them?" he asked her, his voice serious.

"By chance, I was hunting in the woods and they happened to be there. Then I got into a little trouble we all helped each other out, Look, I was merely sating my curiosity!" she answered swiftly. He looked at her with disbelieving look.

"You got more than you bargained for by the looks it!" he replied, "I want to believe you, but if what you say is true then what is the meaning of this?"

He revealed an all too familiar piece of parchment, her worst hopes hand been fulfilled. She looked at him, considering whether to lie or not, but she knew it would be futile he had the gift of foresight and had probably seen it already.

"It means nothing; I have no intention of carrying out the task! I've turned away from all that now!" she breathed heavily and looked pleadingly at him.

He smiled a little before continuing, "You gave it up for him? From what I've read you are the only one who can fulfil this contract and I know the position you've put yourself in because of it."

She sighed and made a move to argue back. He placed his hands on her shoulders.

"If this is some attempt at getting that life back please reconsider, think more rationally about what you're doing, you could be putting them all at risk by staying with them!" he finished.

"They'll come looking for him and myself eventually, I believe I can protect him!" she argued back.

He saw he wasn't getting through to her; her heart was set on achieving her goal there was no talking her out of it now. So instead he gave her words of wisdom, "I do not condone this but if it is what you believe in?"

"It is"

"Then be careful…" he told her handing her the contract, "If one of them discovers this you will more than likely be removed from their circle of trust or worse."

She nodded at him, she trusted him and knew he only wanted what was best but that wouldn't sway her from her path. He hugged her tightly and then walked back to the room.

She stayed for a few seconds folding the paper up tightly and slipping in the bandages that secured her leg. She stood up and composed herself before joining Elrond.

Just as they arrived back Gandalf exited the room, he swung the door open wide and waltzed into the corridor, he nodded at Elrond and then smiled at Braerka when the elf nodded back.

Gandalf was quickly followed by Thorin, Balin and strangely Bilbo; she assumed Gandalf had insisted he come.

"Now…" Elrond began, "We shall we see was has upset the balance!"

They walked for a while before stopping outside Braerka's room, "Your stop" he said, pushing her into the room. He locked the door behind her.

She shook the handle on the door and tried to pry it open, she had understood Elrond's want of her not getting involved, and had acknowledged that he would try anything to stop her, but this was unacceptable.

After a short while she gave up, sliding down the door. She looked up thinking hard, then noticed and small pile of material on the bed.

She darted up and saw clothes, real clothes, not a dress. "Yes!" she exclaimed, beginning to quickly peel the garb off herself ruffling her hair as she did.

She took the contract and slipped it into her coat pocket, thinking it would be safer kept in there.

She speedily pulled the leggings up her lower half; they were soft to the touch but tough like leather and held a navy sheen.

She then pulled the muted white tunic on over her head, the sleeves were long and loose but it fit tightly to her core. She laced up the front before slipping her feet into the shiny dark brown leather boots and approaching the mirror.

She chose not to put on all of it as she would more than likely not be up much longer.

Her reddish-brown hair was still a mess but she was in a hurry and didn't take much time to pat it down into its normal place. Using her hair as rope she pulled it back into a low bun and tied it off, allowing her braids to come into view. She smirked and then pulled them back into the bun as well.

Then once dressed and comfortable, she made an attempt at the door again. It still wouldn't budge. She was beginning to consider scaling the Cliffside when the clinking of keys sounded from the behind the door and it opened. In stepped Arwen.

"You got the clothes I see. Couldn't wait to get out of that dress as well!" she said prancing in and noticing the green material in a balled mess on the floor.

"What are you doing staring at me like that for? Go and catch up before you lose them!"

Braerka was surprised at Arwen's slight rebellion towards her father and swiftly ran out of the room and sprinted right.

"Wrong way!" she heard Arwen shout after her. She spryly doubled back on herself and ran the opposite direction.

She power walked for what seemed like ages down the long breezy corridors trying to find them but to no avail wherever they had went it was somewhere unknown to her.

She briskly walked the halls nodding to any elves she saw, still intent on locating the small group.

"People don't just disappear!" she told herself walking down the same corridor for what must have been the third time.

She moved to cut the corner and unfortunately bumped into Lindir. He looked at her warily, she returned the look.

"Lord Elrond sent me to get you" he said, briefly flashing a key to her. "How did you get out of the room? He said he locked it?"

She knew she couldn't tell on Arwen that's not what friends did so she decided to be clever.

"I walked out the door silly! How else?" he laughed at her remark and seemed to take a step closer to her.

This wasn't in character for him, he was usually itching to get as far away as possible from her or at least he had been since she had scared him off; so she backed off one step to even it out. He sighed at her retreat and gently grabbed her arm.

"I know we haven't really ever seen eye to eye about most things Braerka…" he began.

"You mean everything!" she correct, he ignored it and continued.

"…but it doesn't mean we have to be like this…"

She eyed him suspiciously, this is exactly how it had gone the last time; and last time he had ended up unconscious.

"…we don't have to hate each other…"

"I don't hate you Lindir; I just don't like you very much! Now please, you don't want to keep Elrond waiting, do you?" she interrupted remembering why he had been heading that way in the first place.

Again he sighed, letting go of her arm and nodded allowing her to pass, "He is in his study" he told her as she did.

The melancholy in his tone would have broken her had she not already had no pity for him.

She marched lightly down the corridor considering his odd interaction with her. Could it be that he was trying to be nice again and to forgive what had happened so long ago?

Lindir had at one point actually been very friendly with her but when he had wanted a little more than friendship things had turned sour. His reaction to her denial of them being 'meant to be' had been less than civil. It had been why she decided to leave in the first place.

After that the very mention of him would send anger shooting through her nerves.

He had always thought himself higher than everyone else and more important too. When he had tried to use that to pursue a deeper relationship with her she had really turned on him. She had never wanted or even thought about settling down or getting married, that kind of life didn't appeal to her.

But if he had been genuine in their recent exchange she wouldn't say no to a possible truce for the rest of their existence. She couldn't help but wonder what had caused the sudden change of heart.

She approached Elrond's study and knocked on the door, when no-one answered she allowed herself in. The elf lord stood there pouring over an old scripture and turned to meet her with wary eyes.

"Ah yes do come in, close the door behind you" he called to her, beckoning her to come closer with his free hand.

"I had expected Lindir to escort you…" he started, but stopped thinking it pointless to explain.

He then sat on an elegantly carved chair, its back curved and twisted to fit him perfectly he brought his hands together and scrutinised her for a moment.

"Do you know of their quest? Of what they are trying to accomplish?" he asked her, he looked at little shocked when she shook her head in denial.

"Nothing? Nothing at all?" he asked again

"Only that it's important to them…" she answered remembering Fili's words outside the troll-hoard.

Elrond then stood, "I wonder if telling you would make you want to follow them more?" he asked himself.

She stood by the table, waiting for him to continue, and glanced at the pages scattered over the usually clean worktop.

She saw maps of middle-earth and ancient scriptures. One page in particular caught her eye, a detailed ink drawing of a thriving city that looked all too familiar; she rapidly studied it before looking back to Elrond.

"I don't suppose I should be the one to tell you; I'll leave it to him shall I?" he said, bringing the pages into a neat pile and setting a weight atop them. "Go on, he returned to the room I left the others in. I assume he'll be waiting if he really wants you to join him"

Braerka studied him; he was also acting out of character, what was going on. What it just her or was it just the effect she had on people after spending long amounts of time apart from them?

Without questioning the elf-lord she slowly turned and left the room closing the door behind her.

She started back towards the room the dwarves had been left in.

On passing she heard quiet whispers and deep mumbles from behind the door.

Reaching out for the handle, she felt it in her grasp and turned it slowly the door creaked open, and all eyes were on her.

She quickly scanned the room for Thorin or Bilbo but they weren't there. Now she was stuck having entered a room with a purpose she didn't really want to say out loud. She searched her mind for an excuse quickly; an old classic came to mind.

"Sorry, wrong room!" She said quickly receding behind the door.

To her surprise several voices cried out as she did. She stopped closing the door and opened it again, this time stepping fully into the room.

"Yes?" She questioned their united beg for her to stay.

There was a long silence, none of them spoke, and then as she turned to leave again a deep, inciting, young voice came into play, it was Kili, she should have known.

"You could stay for a while?" He suggested, looking somewhat desperate as he said it.

"Aye, ya could!" agreed Dwalin who was sitting in the corner. They looked her pleadingly, _'why?_' She wondered, _'only one way to find out'_.

"Ok, yes I will, for a while mind you!" She said, swinging the door shut, on the now private gathering.

* * *

**AN: OK here you go another chapter :) I found this one a bit slow, rewrote it numerous times and it didn't seem to get any better, what do you think? Oh yeah, before I forget, I changed a few things in the previous chapters, not much though, just little things, fixing up the timeline etc. For those of you who don't want to re-read, the only big thing that changed was her age, she's no-longer 70 but 180, :) (yeah I know big difference) for those of you dying to know how... well you'll just have to keep reading ;)**

**Anyway,there'll one more chapter in Rivendell then we can get into the real adventure, and all sorts will happen and be revealed ;) Thanks for all the reviews, favourites and follows, As always, R&R, until next time (shouldn't be too long)**


	10. Chapter 10: Asking Questions

**Chapter 10: Asking Questions**

Kili watched her eyes search the room, there was nowhere for her to sit, and she was looking in vain for a place. He had just plucked up the courage to suggest she sit beside him, when his brother cut in.

"Here my lady, take my seat!" He said, getting up and graciously giving her an over exaggerated bow. Kili noticed her cringe, _'too much brother!_' He smirked.

"Thank you, Fili, but I'm fine over here!" she said, moving to the small gap between Kili and the wall.

He stopped breathing as she slipped into the spot beside him. Then when she moved up closer to him he grinned wildly at his brother. The look of Fili's face read, _'round 1 to you!_'.

Fili resigned back to his seat and stared blankly at the fire in the centre of the room. There was then a much longer awkward silence than before. Nobody knew what to talk about.

Kili knew for a fact their heads were full of questions about who she was and other such things. They had been discussing them only moments before she had entered, and now nobody was brave enough to ask her.

She shuffled restlessly beside him. "Well!" She said loudly and in a sarcastic tone, " this is fun!"

This provoked a few bereft laughs from the dwarves before the silence took them again. Kili too laughed. He could sense her boredom; she fidgeted a few seconds before playing with her hair. Then she looked up to him, and smiled a confused and apprehensive smile. He suddenly noticed he had been staring at her the whole time and with a lot of effort pulled his eyes from her. He felt her cringe against his arm. _'I am so stupid sometimes_!' He scolded himself.

_'Speak you fool!'_ He commanded himself, _'SPEAK!_' But his tongue refused to cooperate.

They all sat in silence for another long period, each gave the other confused and awkward glances. Then all of a sudden Fili burst out laughing, the other looked at him confused and bewildered by his outburst. Kili was bemused and a little scared, had his brother planned some mischief?

Braerka leaned forward placing her hands on her knees, "What on earth could be so funny?!" She exclaimed.

Fili attempted to stifle his laughter and managed to say a few words, "You two, just sitting there! You clearly want to talk! So talk! Don't stare blankly at the floor brother!"

* * *

Braerka looked to Kili's face not fully understanding Fili's meaning. His cheeks were red with embarrassment as the blood flowed close to his skin.

_'Wow, I think he likes me, like, like likes me!_' said her subconscious, she knew for a fact that Fili did, he had made that clear outside the troll cave, but Kili.

She glanced between them, their fingers dancing in every direction, _'they're signing to each other!'_ She had heard of the secret dwarf language, Iglishmêk, but had never actually seen it in action, it was discrete and almost unnoticeable at the speed they signed. From the looks they gave each other she deducted that they were arguing over something, '_typical brothers_' she thought.

She looked back to Fili and sniped back at him for slandering his brother, "why don't you talk to me then?" she said. His laughter by now had dimmed and he was speaking normally, he wiped a joyful tear from his eye.

"Because I know I won't have to!" He said, "It is well known that women crave attention! The less attention the more..." He trailed off realising what he was going to say would sound uncouth. This was what she had expected, he wouldn't openly declare his feelings or go running to her and she knew it, he would wait until she came to him; which would never happen. 'Now to play with his head' she thought.

"Well ok then" She sighed relaxing, and leaning against Kili's arm. She felt him become tense at the unexpected cuddle.

Fili spat out the drink he had just swallowed, "what?!"

"Ok then!" She repeated, Fili's distress doubled, she had made him think he'd played the game wrong and now he was losing.

After a short while Kili relaxed, she felt his arm loop around her, 'wow!' She thought, for the first time in a long time she had butterflies in her stomach. "So, Shepard..." He began, rubbing it in Fili's face,"... if you don't mind me asking, who exactly are you?" The others stopped what they were doing and all ears were directed her way.

"Well I'm Shepard!" She said, she knew what he was getting at but she couldn't tell them, not now anyway.

"Yeah we know that, but where are ya from, who are your family, you know that kinda stuff!" said Oin from across the room, _'for an almost deaf dwarf you can hear me pretty well_!' her mind retorted.

She sighed, there was no getting out of this, she could leave the room but that would arouse suspicion and that's the last thing she wanted. "Ok then, I'll tell you a few things, but on one condition!" She announced

"What would that be?" Questioned Bofur.

"You answer some of mine!"

"Fair enough!"

She unfurled herself from the arm of Kili and sat up on her knees. "So what d'ya want to know?" She asked, opening herself up. "I should warn you, you need to ask the right questions"

There was once more silence in the room. Each dwarf looked at the other, who was going to ask first, about to offer words of encouragement Braerka was stopped by a quiet voice in the corner of the room. "What do you do for living?" asked Ori.

She had been expecting more depth to the first question but she answered none-the-less. Thinking for a split second before answering, "Well I don't have any one particular field of work! I do pretty much anything I am able."

"Like what?" He persisted wanting more detail.

"Like smithing and… hunting, anything I can really!"

"Not the usual happenings in a woman's life!" Interjected Dwalin, his voice was harsh but his expression showed he was impressed. "Where are you from?" He continued.

"Well I've spent most of my life in the small town of Windermere, just before the outskirts of Greenwood, but I move about from place to place. I've been all over, Lake town, Bree, Rohan even Gondor!"

She became withdrawn at the thought of Windermere; it was a thriving town, ruled over by the Assassin's guild in the Silverkeep. It was where she had been taken to be trained; everything operated from the town and it was the seat of the Master Assassin. She hadn't been there in a very long time, and had no intention of getting close to it either.

Some of the dwarves then, chatted amongst themselves but aloud to the group. They marvelled at the fact that she, a woman, had ventured to lands far from her homeland and to add to that alone.

"I have a question for you!" said Bombur, fussily picking at a plate of vegetables he brought with him, "why are you so skinny?"

"Excuse me?! Why? Do you think I'm too skinny?!" She asked confused by this inquiry. He walked across the room and awkwardly placed himself on a wooden drawer. "Yes I do think you're too skinny! Didn't notice before but with that thing on ya, you look like skin and bones!"

She looked down at herself, she didn't think there was anything wrong with her build; in fact she was the right size for her small stature. But then Bombur wasn't the slimmest of dwarfs, she did, in few ways, understand his concern.

"Oh right!" She answered sounding a little downtrodden.

She sat back down on her bottom and stretched her legs out in front of her then pulled them up close to her chest. She felt self-conscious and exposed again, she had never thought of herself as underweight or unhealthy and knew herself not to be by human standards. Still she felt the comments sour sting, even if she knew it was false.

"Look what you've done now! Gone and hurt her feelings you have!" Exclaimed Dori, appalled at the blatant insult from Bombur.

"It's quite alright Dori I am used to it! Sort of"

"What do you mean?" Kili asked, shuffling forward from behind her. He leaned in close beside her and stared into her eyes she peered back into his.

Timed stopped, everything froze. Braerka gazed into the dark brown, almost jet black pools of his eyes. The emotion she could see was immense, his eyes blazed like the fire, with vehemence, tenacity and conviction. She stared deep into his soul, and felt loyalty, pride and a longing for acceptance. He was strong right down to his very core; his aura was captivating and enticing. For a fraction of a second she thought she might embrace him, but her mind whipped her back to reality.

"Well with all the travelling I've met my fair share of unkind men who always seem to want more than what they see, I get the odd coaxing comment. But then I say no or try to leave, then I get the exact opposite and then they end up hurt"

Suddenly there was a loud cracking on the other side of the room. Bombur, who had once sat on the drawers holding a cooked sausage Bofur had tossed him, was lying in a heap on the ground, the legs of the table splayed out under his weight. The whole room burst into fits of laughter at his misfortune. Though she found little amusement she laughed a little too. Bombur had bits of lettuce and other greens all over him, Nori went to his aid. _'Poor Bombur!'_ she thought.

Kili finished his outburst rather quickly and then turned back to her, "Seriously! You beat them up?" He said astonished.

"Like hell she does! She couldn't fend off a couple of wolves let alone knock out a man!" Spat Fili, annoyed at their extreme closeness in that moment.

"You would be surprised how many taverns I've been kicked out of because I have! And it was a pack of wolves actually!" She quipped at him, defending herself.

Kili sniggered, and Fili glowered at him, being the eldest he was obviously used to more attention, and now the tables were turned, all because of a woman. "Is that how it is then? Alright, I propose a test of strength; I challenge you to an arm wrestle!" Fili stood up and went right over to her. The other dwarves who had lost interest perked up a little at the stir.

Braerka stared blankly at him, unsure of what to make of the brother's sharp tongue and sudden change in mood. But she had never been one to back down from anything and she wasn't going to start.

"Challenge accepted!" She said.

"Go on lass!" Dwalin and several others encouraged, "show him your mettle!" They said.

_'How in the world did this happen?!'_ She thought, so much for asking questions, she had shoved off all notions of their quest for now. This was too fun!

Fili sat beside her, Bifur had placed and small wooden stool between them to brace their elbows. He had elected himself the referee. He said something to her in dwarfish, unfortunately not knowing much dwarfish, she didn't have a clue what he had said.

"What?!" She asked him. Instead of repeating or getting someone to do interpreting he gave her a big thumbs up with both hands. She smiled. The group around her was now chatting and placing quick bets on who would win, Kili stood separate behind Bifur, looking slightly concerned but still bemused by the events, he egged her on. Braerka blocked him and everyone else out. For the next few seconds it was just her and Fili.

She focused her eyes to his piercing green blue orbs, and he to hers. He smirked, "No hard feelings if you lose!"

"Oh I won't!" She replied, intent on winning. They interlocked their right hands and prepared themselves. His warm hand pressed tightly against her palm, his fingertips pushed against her knuckles. He smirked and then everything else drowned out. Sound was muted and the edges if her sight were blurred. Then it began. Bifur yelled something in Khuzdul and they began their battle.

Fili was strong, she gave him that but she, having been around for so long, had more stamina. He pushed against her arm, she retaliated with equal force, theirs fists suspended in a pressured fray. She waited and waited, he was going to give any time soon, she could feel it, the grip waned and loosened. He could have beaten her if he'd been quicker but in the long run he didn't have the endurance. His hand began to shake and she pushed with twice as much force pounding it to the wooden surface.

The audience roared with appreciation, she raised her arms in victory and Fili buried his head in hands, he'd been beaten by a girl. "I'll never live this down!" He groaned into his hands.

"I don't think they'll ever let you forget it!" Came a voice from the door.

All went silent and heads turned to see Thorin with Balin and Bilbo, their faces alight with fire and amusement, they had seen the duel. Thorin's face was much more serious, he clearly didn't approve of such behaviour.

"I thought I told you all to get some rest!" He bellowed.

"Some of us got some" interjected Dwalin, being one of the more reliable men in the group he had been left in charge.

Thorin's face eased a bit at this, he turned to Braerka, "You should be in your own chambers! Please leave… Now!" His tone was serious and angered. She got up quickly and took a glance at Fili his pride was somewhat damaged.

Before leaving she quickly ran up to him, and a spare the moment action, hugged him, "you're still a warrior to me!" She whispered into this ear and then quickly left the room, giving Kili a quick wink. She would have hugged the all had she had the time but Thorin's patience was wearing thin she could see, he slammed shut the door behind her.

_'Well that was very informative!_' She screamed in her head, once again her attempt to get information on their quest had failed; she hadn't even got to ask a single question! She stood for a minute wiping her forehead, _'now what?!_' She thought. Thorin clearly had no intention of bringing her now, he would have told her something at least by now if he did.

She started down the corridor back to her chambers; she replayed the night's events in her head. _'Why the hell did I hug Fili?!'_ She was beating herself up over it; she only did it to reassert his pride not to evoke any deeper feelings, but a dark feeling in the back of her mind told her it might have.

She was regretting it; the look on Kili's face was like a knife to the heart. _'Why am I so worked up over this?! I don't really even like him!_' She told herself. She had only wanted information and if she had to pretend to love then she would. But the way she felt when Kili had stared into eyes, it was unlike anything she'd ever felt, she put it down to her mind playing tricks.

* * *

Soon after she came to her room, the door was still open a crack, she stalled her entry. She pushed it open and slowly stepped in. It was still dark and the candles that had once lit the room were out. The wind was blowing the pale curtains, they looked spectral in the moonlight. She noticed a tall figure standing by the balustrade of the balcony. She crept across the room silently, ready to defend herself if necessary. She slowed her breathing and focused her ears to the sounds around her, flowing water of the falls and her own breath were the only things perceptible.

She walked to the marble pillar, and slipped around its smooth curve and became relaxed at the figure in front of her. "Arwen! I Thought you would've been doing your own thing by now?" she said surprised that her friend had probably stayed since she left. She dropped her guard and approached her old friend.

Her pale blue silken dress billowed like the curtains in breeze, her long brown wavy hair draped over her shoulders, she was smiling. "But I am!" the elf exclaimed,

"Come out of the wind it's cold tonight!" Braerka beckoned to her.

Now in the protective walls of the room, Braerka lit some new candles and then turned to her.

"I imagine you're not staying long then?" Arwen began, smiling as she said it; Braerka saw a sneaky playfulness behind her smirk.

"What makes you think that?" She asked, anxious to learn the source of her mischievousness.

"This dwarfish company seems to require you, or so my father says. And you seem quite taken with the Ai' atar!" She answered setting herself down on the bed.

"Excuse me! What do you mean taken with the dwarf?!" she spat.

"You know of whom I speak... he is lucky to have won your affections!" She continued, still smirking. Braerka had no idea to who she was referring; as far as she was concerned no-one had won her affections. But she could have meant Thorin for all she knew.

"Hmm... I know not of what you speak Arwen; anyway what do you mean they require me? Do you know of their quest?" She asked

"As a matter of fact I do, they are headed to the Lonely Mountain in an attempt to reclaim Erebor, my father says they will need you before their journeys end."

'Erebor?! But Smaug...!' Her mind was flustered, how could 14 individuals reclaim the mountain from a beast that had destroyed 1000's of lives to take it?

Arwen sensed her confusion, "I overheard them in the main hall earlier tonight. Thorin seemed desperate to leave you behind, that you 'give off an aura of familiarity!' and that you were a bad omen; the wizard however; was intent on bringing you along."

"I have not been told anything thus far!" She snapped, angry that she seemed to be the last to know. She had thought it could have something to do with Erebor after seeing the sketch of Dale on Elrond's desk, but it was lunacy; no-one in their right might would attempt it. "I don't think I'll be leaving any time soon then" she finally said, falling into the soft covers on the bed.

Arwen sat beside her, looking down to her short friend, "You are not one for doing what you are told..." she began, worried in her fading tenacity, "Do what is right in here..." She said softly pointing to her head, indicating her mind, "and in here!" She finished pointing to where her heart lay.

Braerka loved this about Arwen; she could relax your mind with the simplest of words and leave you feeling strong again. "Thank you... But I really don't think I'll be leaving!"

"My father has foreseen your path, Braerka; you would be surprised as to where it leads! Until we meet again…" she made sure to make Braerka aware of the chest by the door as she walked out. She then left the room closing the door tight.

Braerka was left stunned and bemused, _'Fools they'd need several armies to reclaim the mountain if Smaug still lives!_ _Which I'm betting he does!_' She cursed.

She then turned her attention to the wooden chest; it was bore elven symbols and seals, and smelt of the smith's corner. She speedily opened the lid, and revealed a lightweight elven bow and several newly forged daggers and throwing knives among other things.

She smirked, as she examined them, she found a short note among the blades, 'use these in all your endeavours wherever life my take you, Arwen' this made her smile even more and she even giggled aloud. 'She knows me so well! I'd be lost without her!' "Diola lle!" 'Thank you' she whispered.

Still deep in thought she placed the gifts with the rest if her clothes and belongings. Among the items had been an old journal she had left in Rivendell the last she had been there. It was an old and battered looking journal, she opened it, the first few pages were littered with drawings of Dale and Erebor, and full of badly scrawled memories and notes. She had owned this for most of her life and never really used it. There had been no time or point to it, but seemed like a good time to write down what she was thinking.

She found the next blank page and wrote of her dilemma and finally came to a conclusion, she slammed the notebook closed and placed it under her pillow, rolled over and closed her eyes. She would try to get some rest and when morning came she would make her final decision and be all the better for it.

* * *

**AN:** **Here we are yet another chapter :) as always, please R&R stay tuned for the next one**


	11. Chapter 11: Into the Wild

**AN: Sorry this took so long to upload, been busy with exams etc. But now I'm back :) **

**Chapter 11: Into the Wild**

Dawn came faster that she expected it, her dreamless slumber passed instantaneously. Braerka jumped and tumbled off the bed when an unexpected voice woke her.

"What on earth are you still doing here?" asked the voice. Looking up she saw Gandalf, he was bearing over her with a questioning look. It took her several moments to get her bearing and she stood up, wearing the clothes she had fallen asleep in.

When she had been quiet for too long Gandalf pressed her again, "Ahem…why are you still here? The others left hours ago!" He told her. She suddenly remembered where she was and how she had got there. She groaned loudly at the wizard's persistence, couldn't he have found a less abrupt way to wake her up?

"Gandalf…" she grumbled still half asleep, but he stopped her.

"Goodness you're like a child! Hurry and get dressed you can still catch up to them if you move quickly!" He told as he tossed clothes at her from across the room.

She still wasn't fully awake and groggily grabbed the clothes and began to get dressed. All the while Gandalf was marching about her room filling her bag with lembas bread. At one point he left and returned shortly after with a water skin. Seeing she was still groggy he wetted his hand and splashed her face.

She glared at him angrily wiping the damp from her face. He then ushered her to hurry up and left her.

She then proceeded to dress herself properly, slipping on the brown leather jerkin over her shirt, and tying her belt tightly around her waist. She sheathed her daggers and sword, slipped on her jacket and equipped her new bow, she lifted the small bag that Gandalf had left, slung it over her shoulder and went to leave the room.

About half way down the corridor she ran back, retrieving the journal from under her pillow which she almost forgot.

Almost sprinting down the corridors she moved swiftly towards the east of Rivendell. It was still very early and few elves were awake. She reached the eastern exit and looked up along the edge; she studied the steep slopes into the wilds. She had thought long and hard last night about what she would do, and still hadn't decided.

She heard footsteps behind her and turned to see Gandalf and Lord Elrond descending the stairs.

"And where would you be going?" Elrond stood looking serious atop the flight of steps.

She thought for a moment, the only reason she was standing there was because Gandalf had woken her so tersely and she hadn't had the mental functioning to refuse. She turned looking to the wilds once more. "Into the wilds I guess" she said plainly bowing her head to him. He sniggered softly and descended the stairs and walked to her side.

Gandalf stood back watching closely, he nodded in reassurance when Elrond took one of her hand in his. "Good luck" she told her. "Do not look for trouble, for it will surely come to you! I hope you are doing the right thing"

"So do I…" she answered, as he let go of her hand.

Peeking behind him, she saw Gandalf had gone on his way back into Rivendell. She then looked back to Elrond, he smiled at her and she once again turned to face the cliff face.

Scanning the pathways, she contemplated what she was about to do. Was it really the right thing to do? She sighed, her choice to not kill Thorin was the choice that had probably secured his death, if anyone found him… she stopped the thought before it got too far. Deep down she knew this was something she had to do, whether Thorin wanted her there or not.

She smiled in anticipation of what was to come and began running up the side of the cliff after the dwarves. Things were now set in motion for the unfurling events of the future, nothing could be altered, she had made her choice, and the consequences would be hers to bear and hers alone.

* * *

Elrond stood tall and proud as he watched her run off, a deepening sadness filled his heart, he had foreseen the outcome of her current path, if she did not change something soon it would end in disaster, a great battle would ensue and the earth would turn red with the blood of man, elf and dwarf alike. He trusted her to do what was right and knew that the influences around her would already have altered a few small minor details of her fate. Her choice to let the dwarf-king live being the first; and probably most severe of them.

As he turned and began up the stairs, a fair blond haired she-elf joined him in watching her leave.

"My lady Galadriel!" he said, "Saruman is most displeased at this turn of events! Shall we pursue them?" He said, jokingly.

She simply smiled at him and watched as Braerka became a small speck of shadow on the cliff side, "Do you believe in what Gandalf has told you? That she is in fact who he says?" She asked.

"I trust Gandalf greatly, if there is a chance she is then we must take it!" He answered.

"And if not?"

"Then it is our mistake and they will undoubtedly perish!" He spat angrily, her lack of faith in the girl and in his belief unnerved him.

"Very well!" she resolved, "Did Gandalf warn the dwarf?"

"In a way yes, not directly!"

"Then it shall be so, she shall be named, the truth discovered, there is no turning back now!" She finished, starting to walk from him. He moved to follow her but she had eerily vanished into thin air.

Elrond was once again alone, this new prophecy was serious, if it did not come to pass there would be no hope for the years ahead, it all now lay in the hands of an unsuspecting human girl with an unnaturally long life.

* * *

Thorin lead his company over the threshold of Rivendell and into the wild plains of middle-earth, headed for the misty mountains slopes. The ascended higher and higher up the cliffs, not stopping even for a second, they had to make up for lost time, Durin's day was closing in and as the moon runes on his map had said only then would the secret entrance to the Kingdom be visible.

For several hours they trudged through mud and grass, then over rocks and sheer cliffs. They grew closer and closer to the mountain's, gaining some altitude with each step. They marched in silence over the varied terrain and had much time to think over many things.

Last night had been eventful even by his standards. Discerning the clues on the map, watching his eldest nephew be beaten by a woman in an arm wrestle, and his youngest become love struck and betrayed by the friendly hug his brother had gotten as a result. He laughed into himself at the last bit, to think Kili had such feelings for this girl he had only just met that he would feel jealously towards his brother.

His mind stayed on the girl, '_Shepherd'_ he thought.

He had uneasy and mixed feelings about her since he had set eyes on her. There was something familiar about her and yet she was so mysterious, he didn't know if he could trust her. Gandalf had tried to encourage him to allow her to tag along in their quest, saying that she might be useful. To Thorin the only thing she seemed useful for was getting hurt and into trouble.

Suddenly he was regretting not at least offering her the chance to come, from what the others had discovered about her last night, the quest would have been right up her ally and something she would have enjoyed. But he remained resolute on his decision, it was better to leave her behind.

They came to a narrow ledge on the mountain side, a treacherous icy slope to death lay at its edge; this would be dangerous.

"Single file! Stay close to the rock!" He called to the others behind him; he began to shuffle across the thin raised area. The others followed his lead slowly and carefully.

All was going well until the rock at the start began to succumb to their combined weight, Bofur who had elected himself of go last lost his footing as the ice shelf beneath the thin rock fractured and fell away, he fell forward onto the icy slope and began sliding down it with incredible speed. "No!" yelled Thorin and several others, stretching forth his hand to jump after him, Balin pushed him back.

Determined to save his friend and comrade Thorin tried to push forward again without success. His friend was doomed to a painful death or so he thought. Seconds later and as if out of nowhere a hooded figure ran and leaped from the cliff side and began sliding down the slope after Bofur.

* * *

It had been a hours since she had set out behind the dwarves, middays sun was long gone and it now glared lowly in the sky, the snow and ice glistened, she had still not caught up to them. _'These guys are moving fast!'_ She thought as she made her way over the rocks and icy patches on the mountains, hoping to catch their coat tails sooner or later.

She sat down on a rock to rest, allowing the cool mountain air to cool her warm clammy skin. She had be running non-stop since she left Rivendell, she breathed deeply as her body slowly began to recover from the hurried hike. She wondered if she was even going the right way, maybe they had taken a different safer route to the peaks, but she knew Thorin well-enough and discerned that he would take the fastest path to the misty mountains regardless of the dangers that lay ahead.

Not wanting to lag behind she pulled her hood up and started up her pace again; she continued traversing the mountains slopes. It was not long later when she heard shouting not too far ahead of her. It sounded like trouble; she quickened to an even faster sprint and came to the top of rocky hill. She could just see the company clutching to the cliff face.

"No!" She heard Thorin cry, she followed his eyes and loud cracking of ice and rock, the ledge had given way and Bofur was now plummeting down the ice covered cliff side.

Without thinking, and taking no consideration for her own safety, she sprinted and dove off the cliff. She hit the ice with a loud thudding crack, and then positioned herself for optimum speed; darting down the slope she quickly caught up to him. The wind rushed her face and the ice scraped at her clothing, she was breathing fast and shallow breaths, there was little time and now her life and Bofur's lay in the balance. Every little action would affect the outcome.

Her speed plateaued but luckily she had reached him, she stretched out her hand to take his but was knocked into the air by a raised rock on the hill. She hit the mountain side hard and rolled a short distance before straightening out.

Now she was in front of him and nearly at the cliff edge, _'ah, Crap!_' She thought.

Doing the only thing she could think of she pulled out her hidden dagger and plunged it into the thick ice, she began to slow but not enough, the end of the line was getting nearer, her heart pounded in her chest, this isn't how she was going to die, _'I'm not being bested by gravity'_ she asserted.

With her free hand she grabbed for Bofur and missed, she tried again, success! Now with a grip on her target, and seconds before the end of the line, she buried the dagger back into the ice. They skidded along the ice as the friction slowed them; the edge came closer and closer. Still they slowed but not enough the edge was still coming and fast.

"COME ON!" She screamed she stabbed the ice again and again and again, each time they slowed more and finally they came to a grinding halt.

Bofur was just hanging over the cliff edge, in hysterics, and he was laughing giddily.

Braerka breathed a sigh of relief they were alive. She herself felt euphoric and frenzied and nearly let go of Bofur's hand, before coming to a stable state of mind. She swung him onto the flat of the icy ledge beside her; they both lay there hyped and breathing quickly.

"Let's do that again!" cried Bofur, sitting himself upright.

"Are you mad?!" She screamed at him, more than ready to hold him down if she had to.

"Not as mad as you lass!" he countered. She had to agree, leaping after him wasn't the most sensible of rescue plans but it worked, didn't it? Subconsciously she congratulated her efforts.

Looking up to where Thorin and the others were, she saw they were cheering in relief. Their comrade was alive and almost completely safe. They began moving onwards along their path.

"Come on, Bofur! We'll catch up ahead of them, follow me!" She instructed beginning to lead the dizzied dwarf. His hat was askew and his promptly fixed it, after a few seconds of deep breathing he was back to himself. Bofur followed her along the path she carved from the icy slopes, it took them a good few hours to get back to level ground; he seemed grateful enough for her help and thanked her many, many times.

They came to a ledge; she inspected it once over and then gave Bofur a boost up. She almost toppled under his weight; he was much heavier than he looked.

"Argh!" She blurted as he pushed himself up using her shoulders as a foothold. He turned and offered his hand to her she accepted it and he pulled her up.

They walked over a few rocky hills avoiding sharp edges as best they could, Bofur continued to ramble, and thank her, she had just about had enough, "One thank you was enough, Bofur!" She told him for what seemed the thousandth time. But still he persisted. She shook her head and laughed, she would have to tolerate him until they regrouped with the others.

Thankfully it didn't take long; they came around a jagged corner and found the remainder of the company lying in wait for their arrival. They greeted Bofur with open arms; the same could not be said of all the dwarves for Braerka.

Thorin gave her a hostile glare, "What are you doing here?" He asked bluntly, his voice demanding and harsh.

"I saw you were in difficulties and chose to help!" She answered, an air of calm was about her, and her words diffused some of the tension between them. Thorin regarded her with steely eyes before calming slightly.

"Fair enough reason I suppose, I should be glad you turned up when you did, Bofur would be lying dead at ground level had you not…" he continued, walking up to her, "…thank you"

He offered a hand to her, she reluctantly put her own into it, he grasped it tightly and shook once, then let go as quick as he'd offered it.

The elders in his company nodded solemnly at her, commending her efforts, the younger dwarves were more audacious in their compliments, all except Kili. He simply stood and acknowledged the situation and made no attempt to involve himself.

Thorin had beckoned them to continue on the journey, it would be a long trip to the other side of the misty mountains. Kili was off like a shot to his uncle's side.

"You too Shepherd!" Thorin called, seeing she was lingering behind. She raised an eyebrow and smiled at Kili's reaction, which from his elevation looked to be a double take. _'Did he not want her join them, was he annoyed after last night's fun?'_

She sped up and after a few wide strides and a jump she was walking behind him; Bilbo was at her side.

"Welcome back!" He said, gripping tightly his walking stick.

"Thanks, Bilbo!" she answered, giving him a light pat on the back. She stared at the back of Kili's head.

They walked for a few minutes up sharp inclines and avoided the edges. They didn't want anyone else falling to oblivion.

Her thoughtless silence was interrupted by Fili's rambunctious entry into her sights, he wrapped his arms around her waist and half lifted her in a hug. "I missed you!" He exclaimed.

She uncomfortably scrambled from his embrace, her suspicions were true, and he had taken the hug to be more than it was. She shook her head. She heard Kili laugh at her rejection of his brother's touch.

"You weren't this off put about me last night!" Fili told her. "Or have you forgotten!"

"Forgotten what, master Fili?!" She said, knowing rightly what he was getting at but playing with him.

"You hugged me!" He blurted out.

"Fleetingly! To raise your spirit! I had just beaten you in an arm wrestle! Remember!"

His face lit up with realisation, he cleared his throat, "Oh right, so it was just a friendly reassuring hug was it?"

"Yes it was, and nothing more!" She finished. He looked stunned but also a little humiliated, she felt sorry for having put thoughts into his head, but he had to be told.

Things were quiet for a few more seconds until he spoke up again, "Are you sure? You're certain there wasn't some deep feeling and meaning behind it?! That maybe you really do feel that way?!" He asked her hopefully, she burst out laughing.

"God Fili! Do you ever give up?!" She asked, amused by his persistence.

"Not if I can help it!" He quipped. He gave a quick sort of curtsy to her and walked on at a faster pace to his uncle's side.

* * *

Not long later they stopped for a break and prepared a quick lunch, it consisted of some barely bread and cheese, not much but enough to sustain them for a few hours more. Braerka sat near the cliffs edge, gawking at the view, from this altitude she could see for miles. She pulled out her notebook flicked quickly past her night-time scrawls and began a quick sketch of the landscape. She nibbled at her own food as she stroked the page with the stick or charcoal, letting crumbs fall over the pages. Deep in concentration and trying not to miss a single detail, she was more than startled when Ori began talking.

"You're really good at drawing, miss!" He said, with an enthusiastic tone from her side. She almost dropped the journal over the edge, _'he really should announce himself in future!_' She thought.

"Thanks Ori" she smiled at him, thinking the conversation was now at an end. But for Ori it wasn't.

"I draw as well, though probably not like you! Would you like to see some?!" he asked, he didn't wait for an answer, he was shoving his own journal into hers hands seconds later showing her image after image, skipping all the written pages.

For someone who was young, in dwarf terms, he was quite the skilled artist, his attention to detail and colour was immaculate. "This is one of you! I drew it last night when we were..." He searched for the word, "interrogating you I suppose you could say that, right?"

"Right" She answered.

She pondered the image. It was definitely of her, though she was not the only one in it, Fili and Kili both were included, along with Bofur in the foreground. Ori had made her the main attraction though. It showed her conversing with Bofur, and Fili sitting on the edge of his seat, Kili was staring at her, his face blank. She sniggered, Ori really was skilled, he had captured the likeness of each of them and also captured a moment in time, a freeze frame.

"This is really good, Ori, I mean that! Absolutely brilliant!" She praised him. He screwed up a little, embarrassed but accepting of the remark. She handed him his book and he receded back to his place beside Nori.

The image burned in her retinas. Kili had shown no outward emotion in the image, but the way Ori had portrayed his eyes showed otherwise. There was a longing, a lust, a sense of attraction and want. She looked up to him, he was chatting to his brother and Bilbo, even now his eyes showed the same dearth, though not to the same extent.

She sighed and slammed the covers of her own book together and buried it deep in her inside bag, her fingers brushed against the assassin contract as she did. She still hadn't got rid of it and she didn't want to; it served as a reminder to her that they would be coming for her sooner or later for Thorin and for her.

She looked to the sky; dark clouds were brewing in the distance and heading their way. "We should keep moving and find a place to stay for the night and soon!" she said aloud to anyone that would listen.

"Those rains clouds look heavy!" Thorin agreed and again they were of ascending higher and higher into the heart of the Misty Mountains.

* * *

**AN: Another chapter :) tell me what you think? **

**Now, I'll assume you've all seen the trailer for the Desolation of Smaug? It not only got me so excited for it but it got me into thinking, should I (using inspiration from the trailer) carry on my story after the Carrock envisioning what Peter Jackson is gonna do or should I stick to the book? Just a thought and I can't decide :) **

**Anyways, enjoy R&R, I'll try to get another up tomorrow as compensation for taking so long with this one :) **

**KiliFanatic**


	12. Chapter 12: Close Calls

**Chapter 12: Close Calls **

The company made slow progress across the high peaks of the misty mountains. The rains clouds were dark and ominous and had moved faster than they had first thought they would.

They came fast and heavy and before they knew it they were being drowned in the heavy downpour. She wore her hood up as far over her face as she could pull it, but it did nothing to combat the biting cold winds that wiped her hair about.

After the rain had come the dark of the late hours set in fast. The only light illuminating their path was from the frequent flashes of lightning. They were clung to edge of an almost completely vertical cliff; there was a long way to fall if they slipped, and after the days earlier happenings it was the last thing they wanted.

They moved carefully along the rock in single file, headed in one direction.

"We must find shelter!" Thorin stated, trying desperately to yell over the relentless thunder. Braerka couldn't have agreed, more she moved forward shuffling with the group before her.

Braerka froze suddenly a loud cracking of rock echoed from the next peak.

_'What on earth?'_ She thought. _'It couldn't have been the lightning could it... Unless...'_

Her train of thought was cut short by Dwalin's troubled yells, "LOOK OUT!" He bellowed, spreading his arms and pushing Bilbo back against the hard jagged rock.

Out of nowhere a boulder the size of a small house came hurtling towards them, it slammed into the mountain face just above them and splintered the rock, Braerka was pulled back by Bofur, just in time to miss an avalanche of rocks.

_'Where on earth had that come from?!_' She wondered, and then her suspicions were answered.

Balin stood forward as much as he dared to the cliff edge.

"This is no thunderstorm, it's a thunder battle! LOOK!" Braerka would have followed his gaze had she not already be looking. A titanic stone man broke itself away from the neighbouring peak. Rocks fell from its already crumbling sides as it straightened.

"The legends are true! Giants! Stone Giants!" cried Bofur, struggling to hear or be heard over the screeching towering wreck.

The giant stone being, took what was its equivalent to a pair of hands and, tore a huge chunk off the peak of the mountain, and threw it away past them. It hit another giant stone golem, also awakening from the sharp rock face. The sound of the collision was almost deafening, Braerka brought her hands to her ears. The high-pitched whir emanating from the mythical daemons tore through her ear drums and seared into her head. They spoke to her in tongues, languages she didn't understand.

They whispered in a spectral hissing, images flashed in her head, the company, Thorin, Bilbo, images of a town ablaze, smoke like a beacon of black, then she saw Erebor, the ground before it swarming and wriggling, roars of dark beings filled her hears, screams of innocents then drowned them out. Then the sound turned to static; she forced her eyes open and uncovered her ears. The ice cold rain stung her eyes, masking the tears that swelled within them.

The others seemed oblivious to the screeching and the coldness it brought. Why her? Why show her images of what was to come? She wasn't special, or that important was she? Why did these godlike beings believe she could help at all? What could she do?

Her mind darted back and forth trying to make the pieces of the puzzle fit, few would. In the milliseconds of calmness her mind reeled then, she felt faint she could feel herself falling. She battled her subconscious as it failed to comprehend what was happening but still she toppled forward though she battled for control. Gravity pulled at her limbs; she felt like lead, she had no control over herself. She let the numbness take her and she fell.

In the dark recesses of her mind a muffled and garbled voice cried out. Then there was another and another, her mind crawled back to the light thinking of the good that could and would be done. She rejected the death her body craved and pushed herself back to the present.

Opening her eyes fully she saw that the ledge that had once been in front of her was no-longer intact but was toppling down the side of the cliff. She tried to move her weight backwards but it was no use gravity had a hold of her.

She still felt herself falling, she twisted as she fell and reached for the ledge as time slowly resumed. The ledge was soaked and slippery from the rain, she gripped the edge with both hands, and then let go with one as a sharp pain throbbed through her palm.

She attempted to grip the soaked surface and was clinging to the rock by her fingertips. _'I'm not going to give up! Not while I have things to do!_' She screamed at herself.

She still felt like deadweight, preventing her from pulling up. Her fingers began to lose what little hold they had; one by one they slipped from the stone. She reached with her other hand after much wrestling with her head and it slipped again the pain in her palm too much.

_'This is it? No! It's not fair!_' In that instant she realised how much of a child she really was and how much she truly feared death, she believed she was immortal but was not willing to put it to the test.

She battled for a stronger grip and lost, her hand slipped from the rock and she began to fall, this time for real, once again things slowed and she closed her eyes.

Suddenly she felt pressure around her wrist, and an upward force pulling at her. Her eyes darted upwards, her vision blurred by the rain, a figure, cloaked and hooded was above her holding tightly to her wrist, their face shadowed and unidentifiable. The golem's hissing returned for a brief moment before the figure began pulling her back towards the crag.

Full consciousness took hold of her, she gripped tightly with her good hand and allowed herself to be pulled to safer ground, when she was pressed against the damp material of whoever had help she relaxed, her legs almost buckling under her.

She was pulled into a half embrace, and the world returned to colour. Her saviour turned quickly to face her, and time all but froze, _'times see to be rather slow today!_' She thought mockingly.

Looking into Kili's eyes she saw they burned with passion, she could see the emotions and the determination behind their glazed pupils. He stared into her eyes and she into his for a brief moment; they seemed to do this a lot, just stare at each other, and enthral themselves in one another's presence.

The moment came and passed in an instant, the ground beneath their feet shook and began to crumble. Braerka, looking down, saw a widening gap form between her feet. She was then pulled backwards, and away from Kili, away from we're she had felt safe only seconds ago. Turning she saw Fili gripping tightly onto her coat, he pulled her back to his side to where he thought she would be safe.

He gave her a worried smile which was an abysmal attempt at reassuring himself and her. He looked to his brother as the sections parted and moved in front of her, she saw the fear and disquieted pang of loss spread across his face, "Kili!" Fili shouted over the resounding clashes and cracks, reaching out for him. But it was too late, the mountain pulled away and they were now riding on the knees of yet another stone warrior.

Braerka laid herself upright against the rock, she looked her side; Bilbo was there a look of sheer terror on his face. She took his hand to reassure him; he gripped her hand tightly cutting off the circulation from her wrist. She gripped his just as tightly as they swayed with the movements of the golem. The battle of the ancient colossi raged on, they catapulted rocks at one another and swung heavy and stilted punches.

Their golem moved around and showed them that the others were safely of the next point of the ledge that had once been their path. A huge rocky hand swung past them, barely missing, as one of the other titans attacked. Another golem from behind chucked a mammoth boulder and the one on which they were hitchhiking; on impact it disconnected the head from its body. Braerka felt the stony mass become unstable, it swayed uncontrollably. She felt Bilbo squeeze her hand tighter; she hadn't thought it possible with how numb her hand was already.

She was amazed herself by how calm she was through all of this, though her heart raced, pounding in her chest, her exterior was more than relaxed. The stone giant's body slowly leaned forward beginning to collapse; she grabbed Fili's hand, and gestured for him and Bilbo to move to the edge. The rock face came closer and closer, their reluctance wasn't aiding their cause.

"JUMP!" She screamed at them, diving forwards pulling Fili and Bilbo with her. The others on the ledge did the same.

They flew forward through the air, she felt their hands loosen from her grip; she tumbled to the ground, and looked up to see the golem's jagged rocky leg heading for their refuge. It hit the rock with an almighty crash. A thundering boom echoed in her head and then all was silent and she felt herself go numb.

* * *

Thorin watched in horror as his eldest nephew, and heir to his throne, was swept along for the ride upon the mighty leviathan. Of all the beings he could see on the single stretch of rock he was the only one he was truly worried for. He had promised his sister, Dis, that he would bring them back alive, she was the last person he wanted to disappoint she had lost so much already, losing a son would not bode well.

The legendary stone warrior took several wide strides across the terrain and halted when its head was knocked off. Thorin edged along the mountain side, trying to keep up with it. The rain and wind whipped his face, it stung but he didn't care. He began to shake his head, the creatures dying body began to sway helplessly; he knew what was coming next.

"No!" He whispered, "No! No! NO!" His voice reigned louder and louder until it was muted by the thunderous crack of rock on rock. From behind him he heard screaming and yelling, the remainder were calling out to their lost friends, all but one.

Kili, Thorin noticed, stood motionless, his expression blank but his eyes were bursting at the seams. He was trying not to cry, either that or he was already. He stared blankly as the stone column that was once the golem's leg fell backwards, the abolished ledge disjointing from the main pillar and falling, the creature soon followed, it tumbled and creaked collapsing into the dark abyss below.

A million possibilities of what he might find around the corner shot through Thorin's mind like a flash of lightning. As a leader he prepared for the worst, but there was a small glimmer of hope in him that thought maybe just maybe they were alive.

He carefully and swiftly moved along the rest of the ledge. Breathing deeply as he did. He came to the corner and was reluctant to carry on, but he pushed himself around and was relieved at what he saw, all of them, luckily, had survived. He cracked a weak smile and sighed releasing a breath he hadn't known he was holding.

"They're alright!" he told himself. Looking at group of slightly confused and dazed dwarves was more comforting to him than he had thought it would be. He stepped forward pulling his nephew to his feet, for a moment ever so brief he felt like pulling him into an embrace, Fili, his eldest nephew was alive. He thought the better of it, showing such affection would only lead them to believe him weak he asserted, continuing to help Dwalin to his feet.

* * *

Dazed and confused, Braerka slowly found her way onto her feet. She tried to stand straight and then collapsed in a heap; her mind reeled with dizziness, her body felt weightless. Her head been aching, but now her rear-end hurt even more. She looked up; the others had survived and were all in one piece.

"Thank you!" She gasped to the heavens, relieved that they had made it. _'The others!_'

She again attempted to stand, her legs numbed by the euphoria, and again she fell. She lifted her head to see Thorin, was he smiling? From where she was it looked like it but she couldn't tell clearly he was just a blur in the heavy shower of rain.

Thorin moved forward and help up Fili and then moved to help the others, avoiding her altogether. Then she thought she would never understand the reason he disliked her, her character hadn't changed that much had it?

She saw Kili squeeze past him carefully and stand bewildered and amazed. She had assumed he was concerned for his brother, but his eyes lingered on him for mere seconds, ensuring he was alive and well, before resting on her. His eyes filled with what she could only assume was relief and joy, _'He couldn't really care that much! Could he?_' She wondered, for her it was strange to have anyone look at her that way and actually appear to mean it.

The private moment was disrupted by worried calls.

"Bilbo?! Where's Bilbo?! Where's the hobbit?!" questioned Bofur. In a quick outburst of panic, everyone swept their eyes over the vicinity, that's when she caught a glimpse of a hand gripping to the edge of the cliff. Braerka could've sworn he was among them seconds ago but apparently not.

"There!" Nori yelled, pointing, "Over the edge!" Bofur and Ori who were closest to him, immediately lay themselves down and reached for him, the rest of them watched with anticipation.

She felt her own heart jump when he slipped from the ledge and out of view. She jolted forward and peered over the edge, he was still hanging by the tips of his fingers. She knew how wet the rock was, if they didn't grab him soon he was a goner. They managed to get a hold of him milliseconds before he fell again, they attempted to pull him up, but their hands were wet and he was slipping.

Suddenly and to her surprise Thorin sped past her swung down over the edge and pushed the hobbit up. He was risking his life for the hobbit, it was not common among dwarves, and especially Thorin, to go risking his life for someone who wasn't blood related or of his own kinsfolk.

He passed Bilbo up to Bofur who pulled him to safety, and then he himself lost his grip, and was dangling by one hand wavering on the edge

Acting on instinct, Braerka dived to the ground and stretched herself over the ledge and caught his hand just as it gave way. She let out a cry as his heavy bulk pulled on her shoulder joint; she wasn't as strong as she thought she was.

With pure grit and determination she forced back the ache and using her other hand pulled him up, Dwalin helped her seeing she was struggling with his weight.

She fell back into someone, clutching her arm, it was deathly sore. Thorin grunted as he regained his composure, he simply nodded in acknowledgement. Deep down, in the entangled mess she called her emotions, a weak flutter of acceptance brew, but something told her he didn't care much for what she had done.

"We almost lost our burglar!" exclaimed Dwalin, trying to lighten the mood by laughing. Thorin looked grave and less than impressed by him.

"He's been lost since he left home! He isn't one of us! He should never have come!" He bellowed angrily, making sure Bilbo could hear him. The feeling in her stomach waned and died, if Bilbo wasn't to be accepted she didn't want to be either, they were both outsiders here. Bilbo's faced looked shaken and hurt, but he knew it was true, he would rather be at home, but he wasn't and was making do as best he could.

The rest of the company stood with solitary expressions, like they wanted to stand up for him. What Thorin had said was uncalled for, but he was their future king and they dared not contradict him.

"Dwalin, with me!" Thorin said ducking into a handy nearby cave. Dwalin followed. She heard their voices echo from within, it was ghostly; Thorin's unnerving calmness was strange, even she had been terrified and in a way still was. How could he be so heartless as to feel nothing?

Braerka suddenly felt arms wrap around her and was slowly edged into the cave, they were gentle and careful hands, whoever it was they knew she was hurting. She tried to turn her head to see but couldn't move her arm was aching and the pain was snaking its way up into her neck. '_Really need to get checked out'_ she thought.

As though he had read her mind Oin approached her. "Let get take a look at you lassie…again" He said.

She complied gratefully; it was becoming too much of a habit being looked at by apothecary's, one she was planning to change. She cringed when he tried to move her arm. "You've just pulled it, you should be fine in a short while" he stated bluntly. Oin stood, and brushing his palms together. He walked away to help the others move into the newly found safe cave.

It took her a second but she soon realised the someone who had walked her in was still holding to her. She couldn't see his face from the angle she was at, but she imagined an expression of pure bliss for whoever it was. The hands around her waist moved, closing tighter around her waist.

"You know you have a real talent for hurting yourself!" Kili whispered into her ear, humour creeping into his deep, dulcet tones. She couldn't help but snigger, she should have known it was him.

This was their first real contact since Rivendell, since she had hugged Fili. Why all of a sudden was he trying to be so friendly?

She let him stay there for a while, enjoying the closeness of the moment hoping she would become comfortable with the position but it wasn't happening, she gently touched his hand, indicating to him that he should let go, but he didn't.

"Kili..." She whispered and that got his attention; he slowly removed both his arms and took a step back. She turned slowly to face him. She was right, his face was exuding bliss; she smiled.

There was an awkward silence between them; the quiet mumblings and clattering of the company and the harsh drum of the rain on the rock outside were louder for the silence.

After a long quiet she finally spoke, "Thank you" she said.

He looked confused, as if he didn't know what she was talking about.

"For pulling me back, out there…" she explained, his face became slightly blushed.

"Well... I couldn't just let you fall, could I?" He replied, his speech was quick and sharp, he wasn't really asking.

Wanting to know more she asked, "Could you?"

He clearly hadn't expected this, he looked a little shocked and unprepared; he searched the cave for an answer, looking everywhere but at her.

After a short moment of mulling over the thoughts in his head, he finally said, "No I couldn't have"

She tried to push deeper, looking for more, "Why?"

This was either something he didn't want to answer or didn't know how to answer as he changed the subject. He took her hand gently in his. His eyes widen and he grabbed her hand harder yanking the glove off her.

"You're bleeding!" He gasped, casting aside the glove and cupping her injured hand in his own. She had forgotten about all about that, but since he brought her attention back to it the stinging sensation came pouring back quickly and it wasn't letting up.

"Hold on a sec" he said, leaving her.

She watched him walk over to Oin and ask for something. She watched the others begin to layout their bedrolls, the one thing she didn't have. Kili came back with a small phial of a clear liquid and some bandages. _'Humph!'_ She thought impressed, _'taking matters into his own hands!'_

He unstoppered the bottle and took her hand in his, he poured the contents on her wound, it was clear like water but had the consistency of bile, the sensation it brought was not very nice. He softly massaged it into her palm, and became more careful when she hissed in pain.

Braerka stood calmly as his hands, calloused from a short life time of training among others things, caressed her palm as softly as they could making sure it was all rubbed in, and then he took a bandage and began to bind her hand in the cloth.

She watched his eyes the whole time he never looked up to her, he only kept them completely focused on what he was doing. She wondered what he was thinking, what crazy things were going on in his mind. He had come across as a boisterous young dwarf with little want for much more than fun and adventure, but now she wasn't so sure that's was all there was to him. He was as much a mystery as she was, if not more, she felt the need to know more about him.

He swiftly tied a quick knot to fasten the wrappings and looked up smiling, "There you go, good as new... Well... almost!" He was funny, even when he didn't mean to be.

"Thank you... Kili" she said, examining his aid skills, it wasn't the cleanest bind she'd ever seen but was it was better than not having any at all. They once again found themselves with nothing to say, but their silence was soon broken when Fili decided to join them.

"Well, well, what's going on here?" He said mockingly, striding over head held high, he really was full of himself. She saw Kili was about to explain himself, but she thought it would be more believable from her, so she cut in before he began.

"Kili was just..." She search for the words, "fixing me up" she finally finished, raising her hand to how him, "See!"

Fili sniggered; clearly she'd chosen the wrong words. "Fixing? Brother...really?" He eyed Kili, who was looking more than awkward, and Fili could sense it, he knew his brother better than anyone, he knew when he was acting up and even when he was lying.

"Yes, she'd cut her hand on the rocks out there, I wanted to sure it wasn't infected" he explained, Fili seemed satisfied and to both of their surprise left it at that.

All talk stopped when Thorin raised his voice to talk to them all.

"Try and get some rest, we start again at first light!", Balin stepped forward to him, confusion on his features.

"I thought we were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf joined us..." he whispered.

Thorin looked indifferent, "Plans change!" he told him dryly.

Braerka decided then she didn't like this Thorin; he was too serious, too cold. Life had taken its toll on him, his losses affected him greatly. He was... emotionless to a point, nothing seemed to affect him. He didn't seem to care what others thought.

"Bofur... Take the first watch!" He finally finished.

Braerka noted the distaste at the orders in Bofur's expression, "No, I'll do it" she interjected, Bofur looked like he needed the rest and she felt a little too hyper to be able to sleep, it would work out nicely if Thorin accepted.

He looked at her, bemused, before speaking; there was a mocking undertone to his words, "Alright then, you take watch!" Then he turned and walked to his own bedroll and lay down.

She had anticipated an argument against her in her current state, but Thorin really didn't seem to care, was it because he'd almost died? Because a woman had helped him?

She turned to take a seat on a conveniently place rock by the cave entrance. She glanced a Kili who was speedily placing his bedroll near the entryway, Fili doing the same beside him. She had begun to notice the two brothers were inseparable, always together.

Those moments when Kili had thought Fili and the others goners, must have been internal torment, he must have felt like dying himself, it was also the only time she'd seen them apart since they'd met; and it didn't look like they were splitting up again anytime soon.

She shuffled to her left side on the rock, facing the entrance, it was still lashing outside, the rain came down in sheets and the wind was rushing past and clawing at the cave. She was thankful to have shelter over her head, even if she was soaked to the bone. There was quiet whispering from the others behind her as they settled down for the night. Though she wished she was joining them in their slumber, she knew she had to do this, she had volunteered after all.

* * *

About an hour passed, by now everyone was sleeping. Braerka had taken to writing in her journal and allowing herself to slip into deep thought. She considered her relationship with Kili, where they just friends or was it becoming something more?

The 'something more' scared her a little, being ageless as she was she had taught herself to not get attached to anything in the long term, the pain of watching them wither and die as she stayed the same had become something that she would do anything to avoid.

She shook her head, disagreeing with all of it. It wasn't possible, it couldn't be. She knew that the boys at least had an interest but she wasn't sure about was she was feeling for them, but it couldn't be what she thought it was, there was no way.

In that moment something clicked in her head. Kili avoiding her after the event in Rivendell wasn't hate or distrust, it was, fear and uncertainty. He feared that his feelings wouldn't be returned and so decided to suppress them. She buried her head in her hands; she didn't know what she was feeling and she believed nothing good could come of it.

She took another glance at Kili, he and his brother and the others, were now peacefully asleep, crammed in closely to one another. She stared at him, though she knew deep down, beneath all the walls and barriers she'd built, that she really did feel something for him, she couldn't bring herself to ever accept, it was too scary, too unknown.

She sat back against the wall of the cave and waited for dawn to come, trying to block everything and to keep her mind blank, it was much harder than she had thought.

* * *

**AN: sorry for the wait but hope you enjoyed :) R&R please **


	13. Chapter 13: Nightmares

**AN: Hey guys, you probably wanna hit for how long this took me to put, its too short to have taken this long I know! Life has gotten surprisingly busier since my exams ended, (I was expecting the opposite :P) Any how, I hope this is up to standards and is as enjoyable as the others have been so far, I found it difficult to write this one, it more like a filler really, I guess. As always R&R, stay tuned for the next one, ( I promise it will be out quicker than this one)**

**Chapter 13: Nightmares**

Several hours passed, Braerka was left to her own thoughts and devices, which in many ways wasn't good. She spent the first while filling in her journal, feelings, thoughts and questions, things she wanted to express but couldn't, or wouldn't. Then she riffled through the assassination contract for what seemed the millionth time.

It was as though she was trying to will the name of her target to vanish or change at least. She read the last line, 'at the request of 'blank'', she sighed, whoever wanted him dead clearly wanted it done secretly and now it would never be done, not by her hand anyway, unless there was a very good reason. She folded it at its creases as slipped it back into bag.

She sat for a while, staring into space, thinking of things, nothing in particular just things. She soon found herself battling with her eye eyelids and they tried to flutter closed. She knew she needed the rest, but she was on watch, what Thorin would think if he woke to see her asleep. She smacked her cheeks gently to keep herself awake, but to no avail she was losing her battle with fatigue and was slipping into the lands of dreams. As her eyes shut tight, she prayed for her rest to be quick.

* * *

Her subconscious mind opened on a field of black. There was nothing for miles in every direction, Braerka stood bewildered in her dreamland; never before had this happened.

As she thought it the scene morphed into a raging terror. The streets were mobbed with people and she was stuck in the middle, forced to watch as her mind processed it all.

It was like before, the scenes were fleeing and quick lasting less than a couple of seconds. They morphed and phased, colourless and mute, from scene to scene, blurring and clearing she had no time to register their contents.

It finally stopped on a spectacle too familiar for comfort. The ground was stained red and a battle raged around her, she was running. Then she was stuck facing a wall, she heard muffled voices call for her, she turned to be engulfed by a wall of flames, the heat licked at her flesh and she tried to scream but there was no sound.

A blinding light took her sight and she was left in darkness once again. Light slowly returned, though the scene was still bland of colour. She stood unharmed in the now calm battlefield, looking at the ground she saw arrows protrude from both living and dead and deformed bodies were strewn across the ground.

In the distance the faint clashing and clanging of brandished swords could still be heard, hammers pounded and bashed. She found herself trudging through the blood-soaked mud and towards the racket.

Her eyes flicked from face to face as she traversed the once vigorous battleground, their faces blurred and unknown. What more could she expect from a dream?

Suddenly all noises stopped. She stopped her advance and spun on the spot, but there was nothing, the image began to fade and the blackness swarmed her again, her vision was stolen and she felt weightless; as if floating in the void between worlds.

She heard voices faint but angry, gentle but serious. She listened to the unknown voices as they chanted in unison.

"You are the Sovereign! Only you can manipulate its power! But you are weak; you will sacrifice what is not truly yours! You must let go of all you know, give in to control! Save him!"

She listened as they faded, a high-pitched whirr sounded and again all was black, she was back on the battlefield, her head spinning.

What was all this, what did it mean? She stood on the frozen battlefield, speechless her core aching, this was too much for any one person to witness. She heard a noise behind her, a rustling of metal and chain mail, lazily she turned. Her eyes meet the falling shadow of an axe and the final dark spell fell. This nightmare was ending, another beginning; it was time for her to wake up.

* * *

Her eyes snapped open. She breathed heavily, and took a quick look around. She still was in the cave, the dwarves still lay asleep, and all was calm, save for the heart pounding against her ribcage.

Why were these images plaguing her sleep? It had been similar to the dream in Rivendell, only longer and more vivid. She hated it; she hadn't experienced nightmares so vivid since she was a child, why now had they decided to start again?

She recounted the dream, repeating the words she had heard when it dawned on her. The voices in her dream, the whirring, could it be that the high-pitched static of the stone giants actually meant something and was translating in her head. Was that why no-one else seemed to be affected by it? It seemed crazy but it was the only logical explanation, _'When did logic have anything to do with it?_' she asked herself.

She thought about the meaning, _'Save him'_, who? Thorin? That would be a pretty stupid message seeing as that was what she was tying to do already. The rest of it however, made no sense at all, 'Sovereign, manipulate its power, sacrifice', what did it all mean? Maybe in time they would make sense but at that moment, it was beyond her.

She glanced at Thorin's sleeping form and gulped, considering the origin on the recurring nightmares. '_It couldn't be because of him, it couldn't!'_ she established subconsciously. She looked at the others, '_it couldn't be!'_

She mulled over the facts, the dreams had only started soon after she'd encountered them, it seemed plausible that they were the cause, but then again the Soul Reaver hadn't been working properly either, maybe it had triggered them as a side effect of not doing it real job properly.

She buried her head in her hands and ruffled her hair. The sensation was refreshing and woke her slightly more. Suddenly she felt a deepening guilt way up in her gut, she looked at Thorin again.

"I have to tell him!" She quietly gasped, brushing her hair off her face.

Regardless of the cause of these nightmares, she somehow felt that telling him might help stop them. There was no real logic to her thinking but she noticed the guilty feeling faded when she considered it and decided it the best course of action.

Her breathing slowly calmed as she came to the conclusion. If she stayed she would have to tell him who she really was, he would find out sooner or later, and she knew his temper if she left it too long, like she already had, he wouldn't believe her. She thought about leaving for split second, her bag was packed, she could avoid it all if she just left, and they would be none the wiser.

But she couldn't bring herself to leave; she had to protect them, Thorin especially. By neglecting to fulfil the contract she had put his life at more risk, they would now come to collect his head and her own. Her mind raced, there were so many things she had neglected to think about before allowing him to live, and now they were all chasing after her just about ready to bite her in the behind.

She considered what she would be doing now had she decided to kill him there and then, hanging from that branch in the Ettendales. It seemed a lifetime away from where she was now. Had she ended him there she wouldn't have all these problems, would she? There was no telling whether that was true or not and there was no way to go back and change it.

She smiled thinking how different it could have been, how she would never have meet them, never met Kili. Her smile broadened on thinking of him, he was… well… he was Kili. He made her smile like no one else before Thorin had. She felt safe with him too, something she couldn't fully understand and didn't want to, the feeling was good enough. But she was still unsure of it all.

Her mind darkened on thinking of his response to her true identity, of how she had deceived them, but there was no turning back, she had to tell him.

There was a gentle shuffling from the back of the cave, Braerka stopped her thinking and pressed herself against the wall behind her, _'what am I doing?!_' She scolded herself, she was being stupid. It was more than likely one of the others, but whom?

Her question was soon answered after some more rustling and a few soft steps across the cave floor a body came into view... Bilbo. He was fully dressed, with the bag on his back and his stick in his hand, _'what on earth?!'_ he avoided eye contact and continued to walk to the cave entrance with increased pace.

"Hey! Where are you going?" She asked briskly, jumping to her feet before he could leave. He looked at her, his eyes full of what looked like sadness.

He looked everywhere but at her, then after a short while he finally answered. "To Rivendell" he said plainly.

She sniggered in confusion, "What… Why?"

He laughed at her ignorance, "humph... I don't belong here! Thorin said so! He's right!"

He was taking what Thorin had said earlier to heart, she shook her head thinking him foolish for doing so, but then she remembered he didn't know him so well.

"Ignore him! He just needed somebody to blame! It's what we all do under pressure... come on, back to sleep" she urged him, trying to take his hand but he pulled away.

"No... Thorin has hated the idea of a hobbit going on this quest since Gandalf suggested it! And he's right to; I'm more trouble than I'm worth!" His eyes hit the floor and stayed there.

She shook her head, _'you're being so silly I could slap you!'_ She thought.

"Don't talk like that; you're worth all the trouble you can get into! And who cares what he thinks, you are part of the company..." He cut her off.

"But I'm not thought am I?" He sighed, "I should never have ran out my door, I should have stayed in the Shire!"

That's when it struck her, "You're homesick, Bilbo! That's all! And we..." She gestured to the others, "... we understand..."

He cut her off again, "No you don't! You're used to this... traveling around, sleeping in the wild, moving from place to place... Not belonging anywhere!"

She felt the latter of his argument sting her, it was true, even she knew she didn't belong and neither did the dwarves, but that what the quest was all about right? Reclaiming their home and having a place to belong?

Bilbo must have known he'd hurt her feelings, "I'm sorry... I wasn't thinking... I..."

"No you're right, we don't belong. But this quest is them changing that, don't you see, they're taking back their home, getting a place to belong!" She explained to him, venting her anger with rough sentences. She knew she wasn't included in her own justification, she really didn't belong anywhere. Dale was gone, she was never going to welcome in Windermere for at least another century, and she had nowhere to call home.

"And you? What are you changing?" He asked, noticing she had excluded herself. She knew she was a mystery and the questions were inevitable, but it still remained that she wasn't really sure what she was changing, or why she had even chosen to tag along.

"Myself…I guess" she answered. "I'm trying to find myself, because to be honest Bilbo, I don't know who I am!"

He looked confused, "but you're Shepard!"

"Yes, but that..." she trailed off, realising she was about to compromise herself.

"That's not your real name... is it?" Bilbo asked, his voice showing the deepest understanding, she would never have expected this from a hobbit. She didn't answer just simply nodded.

She sighed; if he wanted to go home she may as well let him. She wouldn't like anyone to stop her from doing as she pleased; she wasn't going to stop him.

"If you're leaving you had better go now! I'm gonna miss you, Bilbo." She said, placing a warming hand on his shoulder in a farewell gesture, he pulled her in a hugged her. He really was full of surprises.

"Tell him, he'll understand, I hope, Good luck!" He said, looking on the bright side of things.

"Good luck to you too!" She said, slightly calmed. He knew exactly how to relax people in the worst of situations.

As he turned to go out, she caught a glimmering blue light from below his belt, she stopped him; she had to be sure.

"What's that? Glowing?" She asked him pointing to his belt, her worried tones probably speeding his heart. He turned back to her and looked to his belt, there was a thin blue line of light seeping through the scabbard of his sword, he partly drew the sword, and the metal was alight glowing as blue as the Soul Reaver would. They looked at each other with worried eyes, _'oh god no!'_ She thought. An elvish blade glowing blue could mean one two things, or both at once.

Her first thought was to wake the others, but Thorin had beaten her to it, "Everyone! Up! Wake up!" He bellowed, his voice resonating through the cave.

She didn't take time to process his words, anxiety rushed her. Had he been awake the whole time, had he heard...? She began to panic and the others hurriedly woke themselves, a loud creaking sound started, _'wood and hinges'_ she identified.

There was a low hissing noise, everyone was silent, she looked to the floor, and a line was forming down the middle of the room. Then the floor tipped in on itself, and they were sent into free fall. Bilbo, who was just standing on the edge of the wide gap, lost his balance and fell head first after them.

They all screamed and grunted as they slid down the tunnel below them, they hit off walls and out cropped rocks, it was less than enjoyable. They flew across the wall some of their belongings trailing alongside them; Braerka's bag was safely around her.

The fall lasted a lifetime, and when she hit the hard ground, she half expected it to give way. The others landed shortly after, there was a pile up when the space ran out, she knew when exactly when Bombur had landed, the mass increase on her back was obvious.

A few short seconds later, she was being helped up, by none other than Kili. He held her close and protectively behind her. They were in a semi-circled cage; one way in one way out, it was crafted of rusted iron, rotten bones and weak strapping.

After another few short seconds, a distressing din of screeches and wails came from around the corner, Goblins. Within moments they were being hauled from there prison and were pushed and jabbed down the pathway of rickety aged rotten bridges. It was madness, Kili's grip on her hand was broke and she was forced towards the heart of their underground fortress. She fought back but it was hopeless, there were too many, and more were coming.

They pressured them down deeper into the heart of this 'Goblin Town', the stink was horrid, it burned her nostrils and she longed for fresher air, she wished she was outside still being drenched in the pouring rain. But she wasn't, she incessant screeching of the foul creatures echoed in the cavern, prevented her mind from showing her that.

Soon all of them were being jostled and whipped forward, further down the pathways, with no lack of rebuke or cursing. She fought their hooky grips and tried to wrestle her way free but there numbers were endless, there was no way out.

Despite their situation she couldn't help but try to find Thorin, if he had heard Bilbo and her speak, she would have some explaining to do. This wasn't necessarily bad, but it was far from the calm confession she had intended.


	14. Chapter 14: Goblin Town

**Chapter 14: Goblin Town**

Down, down, deeper and down. The goblins pushed them further into the heart of their underground kingdom. With every step they took the smell got worse, the smell of rotting flesh and faeces. Braerka tried to cover her mouth and nose to keep the stench at bay, but it was hopeless it penetrated every molecule of her being and there was no escape. The dwarves had become quiet after a fair round of resistance and failed escapes; they now marched forward, too exhausted to care and too lost to know where to run.

The goblins had taken a keen interest in their catch. They clawed and nabbed them as they walked, every now and then the dwarves would lash out and send a few flying to their deaths, down into the dank chasms below. The Goblins would study them with awe; their angered outbursts only seemed to encourage their prodding.

The best part of an hour had passed; they passed goblins perched on high rafters, they screeched and squealed in amusement as they passed. The company walked in silence, with the odd dwarven curse being mumbled here and there.

Their path was treacherous; the half-finished, half-rotted rope bridges were less than safe and all too unstable. The flaming torches that marked the paths were the only beacons to break the blackness, without them it would be pitch black.

Daring to looking behind, Braerka did a lightning fast head count, it wasn't that hard really, she just numbered the heads with hair, and in Dwalin's case tattoos.

_'13! That's not right, who's missing?'_ She thought, swinging round to check again, her curiosity won her brutal beating from a serious looking goblin, its ear was half chewed and its teeth were rotted. It spat at her and hit her again when she glared back at its deformed figure. She resisted the urge to break the creature's neck, the last thing they needed was the goblins attacking them full force with them unarmed.

The beating, however, had been worth it, she had deduced that Bilbo was the one missing, though she could have sworn he fell in with them, where on earth was he? Little did she know he was experiencing his own problems and difficulties deep below them the farthest depths of this 'Goblin Town'.

* * *

Bilbo awoke surrounded by strange looking over-grown toadstools, his head was spinning, the last thing he remembered was...

_'Oh goodness what's going on?!'_ He asked himself recalling what had happened; the last thing he remembered was talking to Shepherd, discovering that wasn't really her name. Next he recalled falling and then eluding the mass of goblins that greeted them. He faintly recollected hitting his head of something and then falling again. It was mostly a blur, the constant throbbing in his head was probably the cause of his amnesia.

He moved to get up but found himself stopped when a raspy hissing noise approached were he lay. He heard a voice, no two voices, no wait maybe just one, he couldn't be sure, they both sounded the same, but yet very different.

He peeked through a small gap in the padded field of mushrooms in which he'd landed, he saw a goblin, half conscious lying on the hard rocky floor it blood stained its land zone, it breathes were short and rough, the creature was losing its battle with death.

Bilbo froze when two green lanterns appeared at the end of the tunnel, only they weren't lanterns at all, every few seconds they disappeared then reappeared. The creature that owned crept forward on all fours, the lanterns were its eyes, they glowed bright from long exposure to the black.

It crawled forwards and looked over the dying goblin, "Yes! Yes!" It screeched in its raspy voice. It began to drag the seemingly dead body back down the tunnel it came, when the goblin lashed out determined not to be taken.

The creature wrestled with and then bashed half its skull in with a nearby rock. Satisfied the goblin was either dead or unconscious again it continued to pull away its prize, "Better than old bones precious, better than nothing!" It said receding back down the dark tunnel.

Bilbo waited a few moments for the creature to disappear back into the pitch black, then he was up like a shot, he dusted off the worst of the dirt on himself. He took a quick look around, _'I need to find the others! How do I get out of here?'_ He thought, not speaking for fear it would bring whatever that thing was back again.

He thought for a few moments, _'Why is this part of the cave lit and the rest dark?'_ It took him a while but he soon remembered, his sword would still be glowing, that goblin was still alive obviously. He searched the ground and soon found the elvish blade sheltered beneath a few toadstools; he lifted it, its blue light allowing him to see a few feet in front of himself.

He looked up, the light of goblin town was just a tiny pinprick at the top of the steep incline, _'Wow! I survived that!'_ He thought astonished, he was impressed by his endurance though he could feel that he hadn't make it completely unscathed, his body ached but his want to feel the light of day was overriding it.

He started forward eager to find a way out, when something small and iridescent caught his eyes, he looked down, _'Huh... a ring?'_ he bent over to pick it up and quickly pocketed it, thinking nothing more of it.

Slowly he moved forward, the glow of his sword, lighting the way. The fear he felt was enough to make him scream out for help, but he knew better. He was stuck down here, only him and that…thing, and the only way to get out was to go forward, so forward he went.

* * *

Decades seem to pass, though it couldn't have been more than a few hours, what time was it? Was it light outside already? These questions were impossible to answer in this hell, there was no natural light, no way of telling how late or early it was, days could have passed for all they knew. It certainly felt like it, they had been walking for an eternity with no food, water or rest, they were drained.

Kili stood straight with whatever energy he had left, trying to intimidate the goblins with his size but it didn't work and he knew why, they numbered only 14, in comparison to what seemed to be an infinite number of them, they would be slaughtered if they attempted any form of escape.

He had quickly pulled Shepard into the centre of the group to protect her after a goblin had tried to beat her yet again. He knew she probably wouldn't return the feelings he had for her, but at least he could keep her safe.

He stood just to her left, he glanced at her, the look of fear had never been more apparent on her face, she had always seemed so calm and collected but now… To Kili she looked exhausted, close to breaking point, he found himself doing something he hoped would calm her.

Slowly and almost unnoticeably, he slipped his hand into hers and gently squeezed her fingers. She looked at him grateful for the reassurance, or at least that what her expression looked like to him. To his surprise she moved closer to him, he felt an unnatural heat emanating off her, she was warm, too warm, maybe she was getting sick, he began to worry for her safety. She seemed busy by the looks of things, her eyes were all over the place and her focus seemed far away and distant, even if she was responding to his comforts.

All of a sudden the place got brighter, the narrow tunnels they had traversed opened up into a wide open hall. The bridges and pathways snaked around everywhere, the stink in here was worse than the tunnels. He saw at the centre of the cavern a sort of throne, it was made of rotted wood and rusted iron, adorned with skulls and ribcages, upon it sat an overtly large goblin_, 'that must be their leader'_ he deduced from the boned crown upon his head.

That's where they were going, he knew that now, they were being brought for judgment, brought to the heart of this degenerated subterranean metropolis. There was now only two ways out, and one of them was death. He had no plans on doing the latter.

They were stopped just in front of the goblins throne, their leader's massive bulk caused the half rotted planks to creek in agony when he moved, he held a large spectre in one hand, and it bore the skull of some forsaken animal and was tied with aged sinew leather. His boils and pustules were revolting, he glistened with sweat and layers of unidentifiable filth, he was truly the most disgusting and grotesque thing Kili had ever seen and he'd seen a lot of nauseating stuff.

The goblin chief stepped down from his pedestal crushing a few goblins with his mass, he didn't concern himself with their welfare.

"Who dares to enter my kingdom so heavily armed?!Hmm? Spies? Thieves? Assassins? Speak?" He bellowed his voice echoing in the outer reaches of the cavern, his beady eyes watched them closely. Kili felt Shepherd's grip tighten at the mention of Assassin's.

One of the smaller goblins spoke up to his master, "Dwarves! Your malevolence".

"Well then search them, every crack every crevice! I want to know who and why!" Commanded the chief goblin, his minions began whipping and gnawing at them. They snatched things from their pockets and stomped on Oin's hearing horn. They battled Shepherd for her bag, before the strap snapped allowing them to take it. Kili stood calmly and allowed them to search him, he knew it would be useless to fight back in their current predicament, if anything it would only make things worse.

The goblins piled their other belongings with the already modest pile of their weapons.

"Speak! What are you doing in these parts?!" demanded the Goblin again, he was losing his patience, "Tell me?! What are you doing here?!" He yelled once more.

Still no one answered, this seemed to not to anger him but to make the whole situation more enjoyable for him.

"Fine," he snarled happily turning to address the whole hollow. "If they won't talk we'll make them SQUAWK! Ha ha! Bring out the Mangler, bring out the Bonebreaker!"

All of the lesser goblins roared out in unison, laughing and cackling at the company's misfortune. But still they remained silent, as if the prospect of death wasn't daunting in the slightest.

The Goblin chief sneered at their resilience, "Start with the youngest!" he roared over the already deafening cries of the other goblins.

Kili felt his heart leap into his throat. He couldn't breathe. He was the youngest, perhaps not in looks, but he was. When he had chosen to pursue this quest with his uncle and brother, he could never have imagined that he would be where he was now. For the first time in long while Kili felt trapped, he had nowhere to run he would have to face this sooner or later. He knew it would be foolish to present himself so he just stood there trying to mask himself.

Kili's free hand balled into a fist, his other only tighten its grip on shepherd's hand, she didn't seem to mind though and simply pulled him closer.

The Goblin chief once again, snarled and cackled, only amused by their resistance. They had nowhere to run and he would wait for as long as it would take.

"Bring me him" he growled cheerfully, pointing a grotesque finger at Kili.

Before he knew it Kili was being pulled to the front and was forced to his knees before the Great Goblin. He hadn't hidden his distress well enough and now he was paying for it.

"WAIT!" he heard, his head shot up. Thorin stepped forward, taking responsibility for them and delaying his inevitable torture. Kili felt a small flurry of relief course though his veins, it may have been brief but it was most welcome.

"Well well, if it isn't Thorin son of Thrain son of Thror, King under the Mountain!" the Goblin chief said mockingly, "Oh wait I'm forgetting, you don't have a mountain and you're not a king, so that makes you nobody really!" He snarled at him, Thorin glared angrily at him, _'if looks could kill'_ Kili thought.

"More of a king than you!" He heard Shepard shout defensively, the Goblin chief scoffed at this.

"Is this admiration I hear?! You are blinded by your loyalty! He is nobody! Worthless, well…almost"

Thorin continued to glare but had to satisfy his curiosity, "What do you mean? Almost?"

The Goblin sneered happily at the question, "I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head! An old enemy of yours… The Pale Orc!"

Kili noticed his uncle tense at the comment. He knew what painful memories just mentioning that Orc riled up. He saw the pain in his uncle's face, it couldn't be denied.

"Azog? The Defiler? No! That _creature_ died in battle long ago!" Thorin growled, not wanting to believe that that monster could still live.

The Goblin jeered and laughed snidely at him, his minions joined in his laughter. When they died down from their brisk excitement, the small goblin who spoke before looked longingly at his chief. The Chief nodded and the small goblin scuttled away and returned quickly with a small sullied looking chest. Kili could only imagine the horrors that lay within.

"Now for the fun!" the Goblin chuckled, opening the chest and examining its contents. He pointed at something and the smaller goblin holding it chuckled and set it onto the rotted wooden floor. Another slightly taller, and stronger looking, goblin reached in and pulled out a cat-of-nine-tails, the whip was large and worn with use, the heads of it were adorned with metal barbs which were spoiled with congealed blood of its previous victim.

Kili swallowed deeply, knowing it was for him. He was ready though, he swore to himself he wouldn't break, that he would die to keep this quest a secret if necessary.

He felt the goblins take hold of him and drag him to the side, they tied his arms above his head to a half rotted and blood stained post, the Goblin chief cackled loudly enjoying the scene. Kili heard Thorin protest from behind him.

"NO! Leave him be! He knows nothing!" he growled angrily at the goblins, almost begging.

"Then answer me! What are you doing in these parts?" replied the Chief.

"Travelling!" Thorin answered quickly and plainly, willing to do anything to spare his nephew the pain and anguish of torture.

"Yes…go on…" enticed the Chief when Thorin didn't give him full answer he wanted, "To where? Why?"

Thorin shook his head, the Goblin chief raised his hand and a loud _crack_ echoed in the cave. Kili was met with a searing pain across his lower back, he gritted his teeth and fought back his urge to cry out, his body tried to curl up in response but his bonds wouldn't let him. He supressed his pain. He was strong, he wouldn't break. _'I won't break!'_ he reassured himself.

* * *

Braerka watch in horror as the goblins pulled Kili from beside her, his hand was snatched from her grip and she watched helplessly as they held her back and forced him to his knees in front of their Chief.

She felt an uncontrollable anger blaze within her, she wouldn't let them do this. Thorin stepped forward and queried them, her rage faded, if anyone could avert this she believed he could. But she had been wrong, his talking and answers and only made it more fun for the goblins.

She felt herself cringe when the whip cracked, striking kili's back. She had expected him to yell out but there was no cry of pain, only a low hiss as he tried to ignore. She glanced to Fili, he too glanced at her. The look of anger and rage in his usually calm eyes was unlike anything she'd seen. She saw him fight back the urge to lunge at the nearest goblin, she understood she too would love to hurt some of them for what they were doing.

"We are travelling east…that is all I will tell you!" Thorin spat at the goblin angrily, trying to satisfy him and to spare Kili.

The Goblin chief shook his head and stepped forward snatching the whip from his minion's hand, "Tell. Me. Where. NOW!" he bellowed, each word was punctuated with a _crack _of the whip against Kili's back. A quiet sob could be heard from him, Braerka forced herself to watch as each blow fell. She felt her eyes begin to swell, tears about to stream. Why Kili? Why not Thorin? And why did he want to know anyway? It couldn't be that important to him?

Braerka felt the rage boil up in her again, and it was just about ready to spill over. The Goblin was only doing this for sport, he wasn't going to get anything out it. She so desperately wanted to spill the Goblins chief guts there and then but doing so would be suicide, she contained herself.

Then it struck her, of all the things she'd lost in their passage down here, there was one thing they hadn't taken, one thing they didn't know of. Her hidden blade.

An idea sparked in her head, she may not be able to free them all but she would be able to save Kili from his torment.

Three more _cracks_ resonated through the cavern, with each blow her anger grew. She didn't fully understand why she felt such anger, or why she felt so protective of him. But it was obvious to her subconscious, she loved him whether she wanted to believe it or not, she did and she would do anything to protect him.

She saw the Goblin chief's hand raise again ready for another blow. She wasn't going to let it land.

Her subconscious won over yet again, overriding all concern for her own safety. She pressed forward, shoving aside the goblins that tried to stop her. She drew her dagger and slit the throat of the nearest one, moving swiftly forward and gutting the next one in her path.

As the whip fell she stepped into its path, hugging Kili close and taking the full force of the hit. She felt nothing, her anger had numbed her and she was glad of it, she imagined the barbs would make the pain worse. She smoothly cut Kili's bonds and half supported him as he almost collapsed.

His eyes met hers, and she realised there and then, she did love him, perhaps too much. That would be problematic.

In a split second she felt hands on her and she was being pulled back, her dagger was ripped from her hand, she heard it clatter to the floor. Before she knew it she knelt before the Goblin Chief himself, she gulped, she knew what coming.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw the goblins toss Kili into Thorin's arms. She allowed herself to relax and little, he would live, she however would have to endure what the goblins sent her way

"Who might you be?!" the Goblin asked, leaning in close to her face. She gagged as its breath met her, it was worse than the tunnels they had traversed to get there.

"Yes do tell us!" she heard Thorin say, almost completely inaudibly , '_so he had been awake, he had heard!'_ she ascertained, she knew now that even if she did make it out of these caverns alive she would have to suffer Thorin's wrath.

* * *

Kili had never been more grateful. When he felt her arms wrap around him he had thought himself delusional, but meeting her eyes had proved it was real. He felt bad that she had to endure the whiplash intended for him, but it didn't seem to faze her in the slightest. She looked at him, he saw the worry and agony in her eyes, but then she was pulled away.

He felt hooked hands grip at him and he too was pulled away, only to be thrown into his uncles arms. Trying to keep even a shred of what dignity he had left he quickly tried to right himself. He stood, with a little help from his uncle, and turned to glare at the goblins. His back throbbed with pain, he endured though he would fight through.

Shepherd was now in the same position he had been moments ago, it was a viscous circle, she was now their plaything.

"Who are you?" he heard the Goblin Chief asked her again. His tall overweight from was bearing down on her, Kili knew she was scared, terrified even, he felt it, she was timid to even breathe and he could see it. Her whole body was tensed up, she was rigid and unmoving, she was petrified of what was to come. Yet she had risked her life for him, why? _'Unless…'_ he thought, he could only have dreamed that she felt anything for him, after all he had ignored for a fair while and wouldn't have blamed her had she not cared.

The Goblin chief growled and scrutinised her slowly then asked again, "This is the last time I will ask nicely! Who are you?"

Kili saw no signs of her giving in anytime soon, she remained docile though he could see her tremble, then suddenly as if waking from a dream she stopped. Her muscles relaxed and she rose to a standing position, pushing back the goblins that tried to supress her. He watched as she stood glaring at her enemy, whatever conclusion she had come to in her head, she was no longer afraid.

The Goblin Chief regarded her with some bemusement, "Well?" he asked, assuming she was going to answer.

Kili wanted to be by her side just so he could keep her safe; she looked too exposed and vulnerable out there all alone, he didn't like it one bit.

"I am the Shepard…" said, her voice was shaky but not broken she was handling herself well.

The goblins eyes opened wide at her answer, "THE Shepard!" He repeated, "Aren't you a little young to be the Shepard!" The chief exclaimed, poking her with the base of his sceptre. "You don't look like a fabled warrior of old tales!"

Kili couldn't help but be confused, she had identified herself as _'the'_ Shepard, just like Lindir had called her back in Rivendell. He had questions of his own but he had a feeling they would be answered soon enough.

"Warrior?" she scoffed, "I'm no warrior, you clearly don't know the stories very well! The shepherd lives a life of reasonable peace within the forests of middle-earth!"

"Yet here you are! In _my_ kingdom!"

Kili saw her head shake, he had to admit she had walked into that one.

"As the stories go, the Shepard of the forests, protector and defender of life, has been traversing the earth for near 18 decades, slaying many a foe and fighting in many battles, you don't look a day over twenty, or battle hardened in the slightest"

"Looks can be deceiving!" She answered plainly, bored of the conversation and tired of looking at him. Thorin seemed to stare blankly at her confused and a little angered. Kili saw fury in his eyes, she had lied to him, in a way, and he would never forget that.

The goblin chief chuckled deeply, "I like you, maybe when we're done here you can be my pet!" He suggested, basking in his own glory as his minions roared at the proposal.

"Over my dead body!" She spat at him, Kili was amazed any fear she had once held gone. Again the Goblin chuckled, "A few may find that agreeable!"

* * *

Braerka didn't know what had come over her, she was willingly answering the chief's questions. Was it maybe the fact that she was tired of pretending and that she had decided earlier that she was going to tell or was it because it seemed like the best thing to do.

She was playing for time, by telling the truth. Not the best of game plans but it was working, she had the full attention of the Goblin chief, and if they were lucky Gandalf would show up like last time. Though the chances of him finding them down here were slim, she wasn't going to give up hope.

She glared angrily at the Goblin. She was angry at him, at herself, at everything; she wanted this day to end.

"I know a few who'd pay a hefty price for you, unfortunately they want you alive!" He continued chuckling, he rubbed his nose, some snot smeared across his face as he did.

"Like who?" she questioned

"Like... Oh I don't know… The Black Eyes maybe!"

Her heart almost stopped, she had completely forgotten about her little escapade in the tavern with them. They had followed after her, probably overtook them while they stayed in Rivendell. But it bugged her, how did the Goblin chief know of them and their grudge against her? She made no attempt at asking but the goblin must have sensed her query for he answered it.

"They came through some days ago, bargaining for their lives saying they only wanted a girl known as the Shepherd, I being the good citizen I am allowed them to continue on their crusade for revenge." He cackled disdainfully when he saw the alarm in her expression.

She thought long and hard, they must have sought after someone who knew her as Arkensan, which is the name she'd given them. The only way Karsen would know her alias was for him to find someone that knew her and then squeeze them for all the information they could.

She wondered what the others were thinking right now, whether they still trusted her or whether they had turned on her, she would find out soon.

* * *

Silently Kili, pondered the facts being laid before him, if it was true that she was _'The Shepard'_, whoever that was, she would be at least 180 years old and have elite skills in combat, which explained her archery skills. But her age 180! It couldn't be possible, she was human, humans didn't live that long!

"I ask this for the last time! What are you all doing in these parts?" continued the Goblin Chief, no longer addressing her but all of them, they all stood in silence, no one was swayed, they would die here if it meant the goblins would never know of their quest.

Kili felt the urge to start up a fight but even he knew that was foolish with in current state and also having no weapons it would be futile and possibly on result in him being whipped again, _'Relax'_ he told himself.

"Send word to the pale Orc, I have a gift for him!" commanded the Goblin Chief, turning to the weedy looking goblin beside him, he was bored of this and was looking forward to his implements of true torture to arrive.

Kili knew now that they were stuck, they couldn't go back and going forward would get them more than likely killed. Kili needed to survive this, he needed to know the truth, why had she been so defensive of him? Why had she lied about her name? Why?

* * *

**AN: See I told you I'd get them up quicker :) As always guys R&R, thanks for anyone who's Reviewed so far, love it when I get feedback, whether it be a critical paragraph or even just a sentence. There'll be another one up before the end of the week so stay tuned, til next time :) KiliFanatic **


	15. Chapter 15: The Great Escape

**Chapter 15: The Great Escape**

Braerka stood watching angrily as the Goblin chief gave orders to his minions and had her pulled off side and held in place by two rather brutishly large goblins. Her rage had faded quickly and now her back was beginning to ache, and she had been right the barbs atop the whip heads, they had more than likely torn her skin, she felt damp she assumed the Goblins strike had been strong enough to draw blood.

She felt Thorin's eyes tear into her from behind. She may not have had long to know him in her early life but she knew he had high morals, he now knew that she had in a way deceived him, from knowing him she knew he didn't take well to being lied to but so much time had passed; he'd lost her, she'd matured and so had he.

He had changed and forgotten the girl she was, so much so he didn't even see similarities between her and The Shepherd, even though they were one and the same; he looked at her with disgust and hatred now, a fiery hot anger poured from every pore of his being. She knew she had lied but she had only given him the information that he had asked for. If he had to blame someone it should be himself; but he wouldn't she knew that, it was Thorin after all. She hoped she survived long enough to explain herself to him before the past caught up with her.

The goblins were cheering and screeching loudly now, the torture machines were drawing near, Braerka took a few moments to take in the situation. They were trapped, the way in was shut and the way out was more than likely shut too, that or heavily guarded. They could do nothing, once again she felt helpless, she wasn't used to this feeling, she was always in control, in charge giving orders, as Thorin had taught her be. But now she was stuck in the grip of goblins, powerless and unable to help. She felt somewhat responsible for the hopeless expressions on the company's faces.

She looked to Fili and Kili, who as always were by each other's side, they wrestled against the laughing goblins pushing and shoving them about, Fili looked angered like his uncle though his features were softer; he had hatred only for the goblins. Kili however looked right at her, his expression stern and focused; he pushed against the goblins though his movements were second nature more of a reflex than a chosen action. For all the pain he had suffered he seemed oblivious to it.

He would glare at the hideous goblins before looking back to her, his gaze softening as he did. Each time he did, she felt sick to the stomach, how would he react to the truth? She had become fond of him and his happy disposition, would that change if he found out? She chose not to dwell on it; there were more serious issues at hand to be dealt with, like getting out of there for starters.

She battled with the strong disfigured hands holding her in place, why had they chosen to hold only her and none of the others? This concerned her, this King of Goblins seemed to have something else planned for her, perhaps he would try to hand her over to The Blacks Eyes once he had gotten his prize from handing Thorin over to the Pale Orc. These things at this point she could only guess, but no matter, she wouldn't allow the goblins to lay another finger on any of the company if, and when, she got free of her captors.

She watched as the small goblin from earlier began to check through their horde of weapons, she spied her bag among the mess of iron and steel, she needed to get it back.

The Goblin Chief laughed and chortled, he enjoyed watching as the company struggled against the wave of goblins while awaiting their impending doom. He was looking forward to his torture machines arriving and was itching to get started; he paced impatiently up and down his podium, humming happily to himself. Braerka eyed him, discerning his weaknesses, not surprisingly there were many of them.

His stride was short; he limped about on his stubby legs. His weight made him clumsy and his overall demeanour made him all too easy a target. Now she just had to wait for the opportune moment strike, and figure out a way to obliterate the unending hordes of goblins that would inevitably come following his demise. Where was Gandalf when you needed him?

She still had the problem of getting herself armed without starting a brawl, or maybe just maybe she could apprehend them without a blade.

'_Don't be stupid! You'll get yourself, and the others killed that way!'_ her subconscious warned her. She sighed and continued to watch, no closer to being free than she was minutes ago, the situation was getting grimmer every second. She had to act.

Braerka had been so caught up in planning she hadn't noticed that more goblins had begun sifting through their weapons, one of them was poking around her bag, another was examining Thorin's sword, Orcrist. This might be the disturbance she needed to kick the whole thing off.

The goblin sniffed around the blade before partly unsheathing it. It let out a loud screech and threw it to the floor. The others backed off gasping in terror. Its friend dropped her bag and hissed backwards as well.

The Goblin chief abruptly stopped his humming and turned his attention to the affair unfurling before him.

"I know that sword! It is the Goblin Cleaver!" he bellowed, crawling as far back as he could. "The blade that sliced a thousand necks!" He quickly turned his attention to the dwarves, infuriated that they would dare to bring such an artefact into his domain, and was quickly issuing commands.

"Kill them! Kill them all! Cut of his head!" He bellowed in blind rage, pointing at the company.

Braerka was knocked aside as the goblins brandished clubs and had begun beating them. She struggled to stay standing as more and more goblins leapt into the brawl. She saw Thorin get knocked over as several goblins mobbed him. She ran and tackled one that had chosen to pull a knife on him; it went flying over the edge. But there was too many of them, for every one she knocked down three more would take its place.

_'God I hope this works!' _she thought making a last minute decision.

Braerka sped to their pile of armaments and grabbed the nearest sword, she cared not who owned as long as it did the job. Just as the goblin was about to bury a small dagger into Thorin's head she threw the sword. It shot through the air like a spear striking down several goblins as it did, including the one upon Thorin. It stuck into the creature's side and killed it instantly. Its body slumped motionless onto Thorin.

Thorin shot her an almost grateful look, had it not been for the hostility beneath his eyes she would have thought herself redeemed.

Before either of them knew it, even more goblins had appeared, and both of them were being held down. Braerka fought back against the numerous beasts as they took her down, gnawing and biting at her. She punched and kicked at them hoping to come out on top, but she hit the ground before she could even get a good strike in.

She wrestled against the goblins and tried to shove them off her. She pressed forward trying to stand.

Suddenly there was almighty rumble followed closely by a blinding eruption of light and energy. An unknown force pushed her back and knocked everyone else to the floor, even the goblin chief. She shook her head as she came to, the blast had knocked her almost senseless, she spied her dagger sitting lonely on the floor she clumsily rolled over to it and quickly sheathed it.

She then awkwardly stood and made her way to the pile of weapons at the foot of the Goblin King's throne, she needed to retrieve her bag, now seemed like a good time. She tripped almost fell flat again, but she used a dazed goblin to counter balance herself and soon she was hopping over those unfortunate enough to get knocked over. Out of the dissipating smog walked a familiar figure.

Gandalf stepped forward, silently examining their situation, she watched him, amazed that he'd even found them. The wizard was good for more than just guiding them.

"Take up arms, fight. FIGHT!" he yelled, charging forward wielding his own long sword, Glamdring. Within seconds of his battle cry the company was roused into action and was using brute force to get themselves up. Still half dazed from the blast the goblins took a while to realise what had hit them.

Braerka continued her way to the armaments pile and instinctively tossed a few of the weapons in the direction of the dwarves. She lifted Orcrist, and threw it.

"Thorin!" she called to him, he spun and grabbed it out of the air, the proceeded to hack at the goblin that only moments ago had almost killed him. They passed their weapons about a bit, not bothering to use their own but simply using anything they could get their hands on, even their fists if necessary. Soon most of the goblins were dead or running off to get reinforcements.

The Chief Goblin was in outrage, he raised his sceptre to strike Thorin down, he yelled beginning his charge towards his target, Braerka saw her chance and stuck her leg out to trip him, taking advantage of his bulky form.

The Goblin Chief lost his balance and began to flail helplessly as he fell forward into his strike. Fili saw and cried out to his uncle, "Thorin! Look out!"

Thorin spun just in time to deflect the fatal blow, which sent the massive goblin even more off balance in the opposite direction. He fell backwards and howled out, grabbing at anything he could to regain his balance, he failed.

He slipped over the edge and brought several smaller goblins with him, one of which took a chance and seized Braerka by the ankle; they fell over the edge of the platform and brought her with them.

As she fell over the edge she heard several voices cry out her name, she struggled against the goblins grasp and was soon free from his cumbersome hands. They all continued to fall but she landed on a conveniently placed walkway, the solid surface knocked the wind out of her, he felt like just staying there but she had to get up, she needed to, she couldn't just stay here or allow the others to die. She always knew that her ideals and morals would be the death of her one day and probably sooner than later, but if it meant the others would be safe then she would risk it.

* * *

Kili battled the goblins as they came at him, he punched and kicked and swung his sword, which by luck had reached his hand. He struck down each goblin that crossed his path and soon their numbers were so small he could relax and watch and they fled. He knew they would return with tenfold the about and stayed alert. He heard his brother call their uncle.

"Thorin! Look out!"

Kili spun quickly, knocking a goblin over the edge as he did, and saw his uncle deflect the Goblin Kings blow. He calmed as the others finished the remaining goblins on the platform, but screamed out when he saw Shepherd get dragged over the edge.

"NO!" he cried out, running forwards to the edge as she disappeared from view. He felt hands on him pulling him back as he tried to jump over the edge after her. He hadn't come this far to lose someone he had grown to love. The one holding him turned him round to face them. Kili was greeted by his brothers worried dirt stained face; Fili looked pained and panicked, fully understanding of his brother's plight but unwilling to allow him to do anything stupid.

Kili was held in place by his brother and fought against his brother's hold, even in the knowledge that he would never let go. Fili was the oldest; he had looked after Kili since he was a dwarfling, and had always stood by him. He knew his brother would do what was best for him even if he disagreed with how he went about it.

Kili breathed and tried to relax, it wasn't working. All sounds to him were muted he saw his brothers lips move but no noise could be heard. He felt only anger at the goblins for taking her and for everything else they'd done. Slowly it all came back, he heard the faint slashing and clattering as the others killed the remaining nearby goblins and acquired their own weapons.

"Come on quickly, this way!" he heard Gandalf call to them, but Kili stayed put, he wasn't leaving without knowing her fate.

* * *

"Come on! Kili! She'll be alright brother trust me, she'll meet us at the other end! Come on!" Fili urged him, he knew his brother had deep and penetrating feelings for this girl and wouldn't dampen his spirit without proof that she was gone. He knew that if they all made it out his the bet would more than likely be off. As much as Fili liked her, he could see that Kili really held something for her, he would try, if only a little, to back off.

He pushed his little brother forward trying not to be too rough on his back, he could feel Kili resist and knew why but Fili had come learned that Shepherd, or whoever she was, was stronger than she seemed and would pull through, somehow he knew he would see her again.

Fili sprinted onwards, Kili by his side and the others keeping pace. He took command of the situation at the back of the group, he would one day become king and this was a chance to prove himself even more worthy of carrying his uncle's crown for when the day came.

When he finally got hold of his swords he made no pause in beginning to dismember his enemy, goblins both big and small as they lunged at them from all directions. They began along the snaking rickety wooden paths following Gandalf, who appeared to know the way out. They didn't question the wizard's knowledge but only hoped it was still accurate.

Fili noticed Kili fight with a roaring hot tenacity, either out of vengeful rage or just wanting to get the hell out of the goblin infested halls. They all ran and fought, using everything in their paths to knock back the endless stream of goblins that was hot on their tails.

Fili didn't stop for anything, only kept forcing one foot in front of the other even though he was exhausted. He felt like he hadn't slept in days, and for all he knew he probably hadn't, time seemed to pass at an unnervingly quick pace in this place. He jogged onwards keeping in pace with the others, and constantly urging the slower ones on. They were determined to get out and they would at any cost.

* * *

Pushing herself up from the dust and debris, Braerka stood a little dazed from her collision; she kicked aside a few broken planks of rotted wood. She leaned over the edge of the platform, on which she'd landed, beneath her the next wooden pathway, hung in ruins, the goblin chief must have demolished it when he fell.

'_Good riddance!'_ she looked up above her, the sound of the other goblins was fading into the distance_. 'They must be on the move, better get going!'_ She thought to herself, she took a moment to check her fall-zone before discovering an all too welcome item.

Her bag was buried under a few pits of fallen debris and she speedily returned it to its rightful place by her side. She took a deep breath thankful that things, although not going according to plan, were going well. She began to make her way down the path.

She started forward only to seize up in pain; her leg was throbbing with a burning pulse.

"Not again! No! Not now!" She clutched at her leg; her old bite wound must have been irritated by all the effort she'd been exerting. The pain wasn't much but it would slow her escape; she went to grab the Soul Reaver crystal around her neck, when she remembered it hadn't been working for her lately.

She considered the small gem; she hadn't looked at, or thought about, it in a while. But she needed to get out and fast; she needed to get out alive too. Thorin would want an explanation and she would be more than willing to give him one.

She took the small blue gem in her grip and breathed on it. It glowed its usual ethereal blue, and it spread over her body concentrating over her leg, she felt heat penetrate her skin and work its way down into her.

The pain calmed and ebbed away.

"Better last long enough to get me out!" She spat angrily at the crystal, it flashed blue again and faded quickly, as if it had understood her and was agreeing to her terms.

'_Odd!'_ she thought as she let the crystal hang outside her shirt and began down the pathway.

Her jog quickly accelerated to a sprint and she soon came to a vertical climb, which she scaled quickly, taking footholds in convenient places she was soon up on another ledge, this time of stone. She continued quickly matching her sprint again, hoping to catch up with the others.

She came to a rickety rope bridge and began to hop across leaping over the gaps. When she got to the other side a goblin leaped out of nowhere and snarled at her, she reached for her sword only to be reminded it wasn't there.

"Oh come on!" She sighed as the armed beast lunged at her.

She side stepped and turned around to face the goblin; it swung at her and lunged. She dodged and parried to try to disarm him, but this creature was quick and was soon forcing her down the tunnel it had come from.

_'What on earth I am doing?!'_ She asked herself when she remembered a small but very useful item on her person.

She tumbled forward and lifted a rock as she returned to a standing position; she chucked the rock with brute strength at the goblin, which shocked it long enough for her to unsheath the tiny dagger hiding up her vambrace. It may have been a small blade but it would do the job.

Acting quickly so the goblin couldn't recover she yanked it close and buried the knife in its chest and twisted it. She stabbed it several times holding it wind her free arm and moving so fast it didn't have time to react. The goblin howled and screeched in pain before dropping to the floor, dead and lifeless.

Braerka took a very short moment to savour the small victory before continuing down the tunnel, her dagger still drawn, and it wasn't long before she could hear the yells and resounding clangs of battle. She ran up a small slope and came to an extremely large opening in the cavern. The walls were littered with burning torches and most of the pathways were hanging by their last threads. And then she spied them.

Sprinting and fighting on the pathways directly opposite she saw them fighting ferociously, as if their very lives depended on it, which in actual fact it did. It wasn't hard to notice the looming plethora of goblins converging on them, from what could only be defined as every direction. They were scaling the rafters and descending from the walls and jumping out of secret holes and passages.

She watched as the company worked as a whole towards one goal, survival at all costs. She admired them but knew that if she wanted to stand a chance of getting out and keeping pace with them she would have to keep moving.

She ran down the pathway before her, running alongside and parallel to them. She glanced over as she ran to make sure them weren't running off any side passages. Each time she looked they were much further along and several dead goblins would lie in their wake. She could just about make out Thorin near the front swinging Orcrist with such precision that nothing it his way survived, he cut of limbs and gutted several of them as he sprinted. She smiled, battle-wise he really had only changed in the respect that he was more experienced.

She ran along the path before it suddenly ended, and she was faced with a bottomless drop off the cliff. It which was joined on to the one they were on by what looked to be the remains of what was once a fairly sturdy walkway, all that remained now was a single rope, the odd plank of wood hanging here and there.

She watched them again and intently as they rounded a corner and Gandalf with a quick blast of his staff dislodged a large boulder from the ceiling. The dwarves pushed it down the hill crushing the goblins as it rolled, they ran after it, and turned off at another corner, as the boulder continued along the path and rolled off the edge.

Braerka unstrapped one of her belts and looped it over the line; she looked down of the edge.

She didn't have a history of having a fear of heights but at that moment her lungs were in her throat.

"Wow! That's a long way down!" She exclaimed, _'don't look down'_ she told herself over and over. Then she pushed herself off the ledge and swung down the rope. She slid smoothly down the rope knocking off the random planks that remained, but suddenly the cord snapped under her weight, and she was now fighting gravity once more. She decided to hold on tightly to the rope itself, sacrificing her belt.

The rope became a swing, and she was sent high into the air as it met it apex. From the height she saw the company cornered by the goblin chief, so he had survived his fall.

In a make or break moment Braerka chose to let go of the rope, her forward momentum sent her flying forward. Luckily for her she landed feet first on a nearby platform, elevated above where the company was waylaid. A small cloud of dust billowed up as she made contact.

She stood, quickly diving down into the mass of bodies beneath hacking at any who happened to notice she wasn't a goblin. She tackled them as she sped forward; she had promised herself she would end the goblin for what he'd done, and now what that time.

She marched through the company determined and focused, her body was exhausted and solely relying on the adrenaline of the moment would have struggled to keep up with her but thankfully the crystal had done its job.

She pushed past Gandalf, wielding nothing but her dagger and faced the giant goblin.

"Miss me?!" She asked him. His faced creased up in anger, but he surprisingly relaxed and began laughing.

Braerka took a step back and stood at Gandalf's side. Gandalf looked at her wearily, he had seen her fall with the Goblin chief and had probably noticed how even he was bruised and bore a few cuts but from the looks of it she had no injuries at all. But it was as she had said, _'looks can be deceiving'_.

"You think you can escape me?! Mwhaha! What are you going to do now?!" grumbled the goblin, safe in the belief than he would reign victorious. Braerka had had enough of him and she took her dagger and threw it like a dart at the goblin. It crushed his eye and buried itself deep within his skull.

The Goblin roared out in pain, Braerka allowed herself a moment to smile and her handiwork before moving forward to finish him. Gandalf tripped her with his staff and then stepped forward himself and slit the goblins throat. His goblin populous gasped in shock, their great leader had been killed.

Still recovering from her fall Braerka watch as blood stained the rotted wood in front her, it slipped through the cracks in the wood and poured like a stream from the goblin chief's neck.

Not two seconds later his heavy mass had dropped to the ground. Relived for what was a millisecond, Braerka tensed once again, why had Gandalf tripped her up, why he denied her the revenge she craved? She knew he would have a logical explanation, and when the time came for him to explain she would hit herself for not seeing it herself.

She began to rise to her feet when the wood began to buckle and break beneath all their weight. It snapped from the cliff sides and began its descent. Braerka dropped back to the wood trying to stay on what was left of the bridge, but for her it was no good, the wooden beneath her splintered and vanished, she was now free falling, and most likely to her death.

* * *

Bilbo ran for his life, the creature Gollum had been suspicious of him from the beginning how could have been so foolish as to trust that creature, to believe the thing would actually help him out. He ran in circles trying to find a way out, everywhere looked the same down here. He wasn't sure if he'd even moved.

A loud screech from the creature spurred him on.

'_I'm not dying down here! No way!'_ he asserted running onwards. He spied a gap in the wall and ran for it, but it was too narrow he couldn't fit. He squeezed and pushed and sucked it his stomach in an attempt to slip through it was no use. He was trapped.

The creature, Gollum, had found him and was now slowly creeping up to him, muttering threats in his raspy voice. Bilbo tried again to get through the crack.

'_I'm not dying, not today, not at your hands!' _He thought, using all his remaining strength to force himself through. The buttons on his waistcoat tore free of their bonds allowing him just enough extra room to slide through.

In the sudden lack of friction he fell to ground and hit it with a loud thud, he tumbled back. The ring which had been the cause of the creature's outburst flew upwards and out of his hand. It spun weightless for a few seconds, Bilbo felt himself reaching out for he, _'why do I care so for this ring? Surely my life is more important!'_

Still his mind made him reach out, he heard the screech of Gollum from the other side of the wall, and then by chance the gold disc slipped gently onto the finger. The world blurred and became cold and grey, Bilbo thought he was dead, but had happened was far more exciting than death.

* * *

Kili couldn't have felt more happy, after seeing that Shepherd had survived her fall and was seemingly unharmed he felt a new passion and will rise up within him. He revelled in her mystery and laughed when she had greeted the goblin king so calmly.

But now the feeling was fading, they were falling down, yet again, Kili had had enough of falling, and he was pretty sure Shepherd was feeling the same. When the bridge had begun collapsing, he had started to her to keep her safe. He didn't know why but he felt a powerful need to keep her safe, it was stronger than any survival instinct or anything else he had felt. He liked the sensation it brought and despised the uncertainty that came with it.

Now, clinging on to the flimsy wooden planks of the falling bridge he had never felt more useful. Everyone was in the same boat however and that in a way made him feel better. The resounding yell from the group was almost laughable; it was a constant whine from the start to end of their descent. When the ride finally began to show signs of ending Kili was shocked by the sudden weight that crushed him. But they had reached the bottom of the chasm and by miracle they were all still alive and well.

Sighs and coughs fill the dusty air as they relaxed.

"Well that coulda been worse!" exclaimed Bofur. Only he had spoken too soon as the dead weight of the goblin chief landed on them, adding to the weight they already carried.

"You've got to be joking me!" gasped Dwalin through gritted teeth. Kili stifled a laugh, he was experiencing the same pressure, ridiculing the elder dwarf wouldn't be fair or appropriate. He cringed in discomfort as the others above him began moving around to get free of the mess of wood. He looked up and thought he was going mad, the walls were moving, _'no they couldn't be!'_ He blinked and soon coming into focus he realised than the wall wasn't moving at all but hundreds of goblins were madly clawing their way down.

"Uh... Gandalf!" He shouted to the wizard, Gandalf turned and met the terror Kili had noticed, his eyes widening in fear.

"Only one thing can save us now, Daylight! Come on! RUN!" The wizard egged the on, leading the way once again. They twisted down more tunnels and finally came to one where at the end he saw light.

Kili had never felt more great full for the feel and smell of fresh air, he never did like being underground, he was different from most dwarves in that respect. He ignored his stinging eyes as they the reacted to sunlight they had craved for however long they'd been in that hole. He sprinted down the hill to get as far away as possible from goblin town; he hoped it would be the last he saw of them for a very long while.

They all stopped for a breather in a sparsely forested area. He breathed quickly, hysteria kicking in; he looked to Fili who was in a similar state, they laughed together, "Let's not do that again! Well… anytime soon!" exclaimed Fili.

Kili took his brother in a deep hug. They had made it, though the odds had been anything but in their favour they had made it out alive, and almost unharmed.

Gandalf was quickly counting when he realised something was wrong, "Bilbo? Where is he? Where is our hobbit?!" He demanded.

Kili looked around Bilbo was nowhere to be seen, how long had he been gone for? Had nobody noticed? He also noticed looking around that there was one other who was missing, Shepherd.

* * *

**AN: Hey guys I know this was promised for yesterday, but I didn't like so much when it came to it so I spent today fixing it up. Nothing but (hopefully) the best for you guys :) Anyway hoped you enjoyed and as always R&R, :)**


	16. Chapter 16: The Defiler

**Chapter 16: The Defiler**

Braerka stumbled to her feet after the bridge had finally landed, she couldn't take much more of the battering she was getting; she had experienced more pain in the past few weeks than she had in all her life!

She looked to the mass of wood, through the gaps she saw the dwarves beginning to run in the opposite direction, she then looked behind her, wishing she hadn't. She saw an innumerable amount of goblins charging angrily down the hill.

"Just great!" She cursed, and started climbing the wreck, she wasn't getting left behind again!

Running down many tunnels, she followed the echoing shouts of the dwarves running ahead of her, it was hard but she was able to find her way out by following the cold blast of wind that became stronger with every stride she took.

She stopped suddenly hearing and ear splitting screech.

"Curse it! Curse the bagginses! We hates it forever!" She heard, _'bagginses? Bilbo?'_

She sprinted up the tunnel to see a mangled looking creature which looked like it had seen better days. It screamed at her and grabbed and nearby rock, chucking at her head, she dodged it and smoothly slipped past as the thing screeched and spat at her enraged.

"It stole it from us! The bagginses stole it! Precious!" It squealed receding back down into darks tunnels of the goblin town. She ignored it and continued running straight out of the darkness and into the wild. She didn't stop, the wretched cries of the thing driving her on.

A short while later, while still sprinting down the incline, she dared a backwards glance to ensure she wasn't being followed, only to trip over a stuck out root and tumble some way down.

She rolled to a stop, and stared at the sky, it was a pale indigo with red hues and gold through it. It was evening, how long had they actually been in there she wondered.

She lacked the energy to want to get up, she simply lay there, her fatigued limbs throbbing in time with her racing heartbeat. She took time to reflect on the experience, a sickly feeling gripped her when she recalled Thorin's face, the look of betrayal and anger still fresh in her mind.

She would have some explaining to do when she eventually got back to them.

She got up, and took a deep breath. She dusted herself off, her clothes stained with the blood of many a goblin, and other unknown substances, and began down the hill. The crystal had seemed to work this time as she felt no pain now, but then maybe that was the sickly knots her stomach had twisted into killing her nerves.

As Braerka walked down the rest of the hill, she rehearsed what she would say to Thorin when she caught up to them. Maybe he thought she wasn't coming back, that she was running from the lies like a coward. Maybe she should.

'_No! You have to do this, you have to!'_ she told herself. There was a constant battle in her head as she walked, would Thorin even want to listen? Would he even believe a word she said? Was there even any point in trying?

'_Yes, there is a point, you have to!'_ her subconscious told her. She would confront him, and regardless of the outcome she would stay with him on this quest, even if it meant stalking them on their path, if only to protect him.

She spied them a short distance ahead of her. They were looking to Bilbo.

_'He made it!'_ She gasped internally, quickening her pace, eager to see them and the rest of the company alive and safe, momentarily forgetting everything.

She heard Bilbo end their conversation as she approached.

"…that's where I belong that's home, and you don't have a home, yours was taken from you and I'll… I'll help you take it back…if I can…"

Well he had definitely been listening when she told him he should stay and had clearly chosen to.

Approaching them they quietened, she walked past Bilbo nodding to him and then continued straight up to Thorin. Searching for the words she gazed at him and then opened her mouth to speak.

"I will hear no more lies from you!" He said harshly, she felt like the 10 year old he had met all those years ago, he had scolded her many times in time she spent with him. Maybe she did remind him of the little girl she was once, maybe he felt the connection and he was denying it.

She stared at him blankly, "I never lied Thorin, never... not to you!" She replied, she was surprised at her own calmness.

"So am I to believe that everything that was said back there was a ploy to buy us time?"

"Well yes! It was but it was also true! I..."

"YOU!" he shouted, he stopped and calmed himself, "... you have been lying not only to me but to all of us, about everything, who you are, where you're from! Is there any truth in your words?!"

"Thorin, just listen!" She said, harshly, mirroring his temperament, she felt the others in the company, including Gandalf watch her closely as she contested the dwarven king's rebuttals.

"I have no reason to... Not anymore!" He said turning his back to her.

She sighed about to give up when not very surprisingly Kili stepped forward. "At least give her a chance Uncle!"

"Kili don't!" Fili warned him, but Kili pushed forward and stood by her side.

Thorin eyed him warily; he looked like he would snap at any moment. Braerka felt all the better for it and consciously moved closer to him, slipping her still bandaged hand into his.

"Give her a chance to explain herself, I'm sure she has a reason for what she's done!" he continued pleading to Thorin.

Thorin sighed gruffly before denying her any chance, glared angrily at his nephew for siding with her.

"Move out, all of you now!" he growled to everyone, the company stood gobsmacked and watched as he started onwards. Gandalf wore a grave expression on his face, his grey bushy eyebrows knitted together as he approached Thorin and stooped to his level, whispering something into the dwarf king's ear.

Whatever he whispered changed Thorin's tone, he turned with a faint look of hope in his eyes, it reminded her of when she had first met him, and it was that same hope of saving Erebor then that shone in his eyes now. He shook his head, and look back to the wizard, "It is not possible… she couldn't possibly..."

"Then hear her out! Let her prove it for me!" suggested the wizard. Thorin turned again to face her.

Braerka tried to move closer to Kili, not that it was possible, any more and she would've have been on top of him. She wanted to so desperately to bury herself into him and hold him tightly. The only thing stopping her was the want to appear strong in front of Thorin, and the jabbing uncertainty in the back of her mind of what was to come next.

'_What had Gandalf told him?' _she wondered.

"Who are you really?" demanded Thorin, "Speak! Now or forever hold your peace!"

She thought for a moment, stepped forward to be closer to him, breaking her hold of Kili and then spoke, "I never lied, and it's not something I do often! I simply gave you the information you asked for, had you asked the right questions..." Thorin scoffed, "... Things would be clearer."

"So then who exactly are you, _'Shepard'? _Hmm, what's your story?" He asked again.

She breathed deeply, was this really the right time for confessions, she wouldn't argue with him for the sake of the others.

"I am the shepherd of the forests that much is true! You asked me, 'what do they call you' not for my name. You cannot fault me at that, as for the rest... you never asked."

Thorin listened intently, his eyes squinted at her, and his expression didn't change. At that moment she just wanted to end it all.

"She's not proving anything, not even answering the question!" he said to Gandalf, the wizard tutted and walked her up to her.

"Admit it though, she brings back memories, long forgotten days spent in places long since gone, am I right? Admit she looks like her?"

"Like who?" Braerka found herself asking, this was strange beyond belief, Thorin stared into her eyes.

He sighed, "Like her."

Dwalin jumped in, "You mean..."

"Yes...apparently"

Now she was beyond confused, they could be referring to any woman who had been in Thorin's life since she'd left it, Braerka didn't like the way they were staring at her, she felt unprotected, she wished she was still holding kili's hand, if only for the reassurance.

"Aye, she does look like her, spitting image I'd say but…" Dwalin continued, "…it's impossible Gandalf!"

_'Oh my god!'_ She thought, suddenly joining the puzzle pieces. Gandalf had somehow found out who she really was, and how she was connected to Thorin. He had suggested it to Thorin, and now the others she who had known her where realising it too.

"Tell me one thing…" Thorin said, he seemed rather emotive; his eyes glistened with the light of hope, something she had never really seen in him, "What's your real name? The Shepherd is clearly a title and your talk with hobbit the other night has already proven to me it not actually your name so…"

As much as it was a question she knew he had the right to ask, how to tell him without it seeming weird appeared impossible. She shook her head, and face-palmed. _'Why do I do this to myself?'_ She asked. She felt her subconscious pull at her from within, trying to make her tell him but her tongue wouldn't respond, so she stood there silent and internally screaming.

Thorin's anger returned, "Fine then keep your secrets, you may leave us! Go home! Wherever that may be!" He spat snidely.

"Thorin you can't just…" Balin interjected, but Thorin raised his hand and silenced him.

"Yes I can! And I believe I just did" Thorin said bleakly walking on, "Come on, move out, NOW!" He yelled carrying on forward.

Dori, Nori were the first to follow, they dragged an unwilling Ori with them. Oin, Gloin, Bifur and Bombur followed closely behind. Dwalin sighed infuriated by Thorin's ignorance and jogged on after him, Balin simply nodded to her and followed.

She turned to see Fili, Kili, Bofur and Bilbo still standing there. Kili looked enraged whether at her or his uncle was unclear.

Bofur looked at her with wide and confused eyes, "Well, I hope our paths meet again, miss..." He stopped not really sure what to call her. "Anyway, good luck!" She shook his hand and off he went.

Fili nodded humourlessly to her and slowly with a half-hearted step sauntered after him. Bilbo looked lost in all this, he didn't want her go, she was the one he could confide about anything in, without her he would have to return to enduring Fili and Kili's constant jabbering and youthful antics. He hugged her and then followed up to Fili who had stopped to watch.

Kili stepped up to her, his eyes red with fury, she hated to see him so. His soft and kindly features suited not the angered expression of a warrior.

"Um… Here's your bow and arrows, I kept them for safekeeping, when... you know...fell…" He trailed off; she took the weapon in her hand, their fingers lightly touching. She didn't want to leave him, not after all they'd been through, not after realising how much he truly meant to her. He opened his mouth to say something but no words came out. He sighed coarsely and crossly.

"Kili come now!" She heard, she looked up behind her to see Thorin who had come back to retrieve his nephews. Kili gave her one last hopeless glance and unwillingly obeyed and followed his uncle without a word.

She waited until they were well out of view before angrily chucking her bow and arrows to the ground, and yelling out. Her cry echoed through the valley and she punched a nearby tree.

Angrily she cursed herself for not just telling him, _'You idiot! What happened? Why didn't you just tell him? Now he'll never know!'_ her mind scolded her. She didn't know the answer, she had frozen in the moment unable to react or do anything, and she hated herself for it. She cupped her reddening fist in her bandaged hand.

"That's not very good for your hand or the tree for that matter!" came a voice from behind her.

Startled she spun sharply to face Gandalf, she had forgotten about him.

"Are you not following him?" She asked, the rage she felt apparent in her voice.

He avoided the question and asked his own, "You knew full well what I had referred to, why did you not just tell him?"

"I had no clues as to what you'd said!" She spat turning her back to him, resting her fist softly against the bark of the trees trunk. She breathed deeply, it was true that she had figured out what he'd said but she still hadn't told him, she cursed herself again.

'_Idiot!'_

She heard the wizard chuckle and his footsteps become louder as he approached her. She resisted the urge to look over at him.

"Why be so afraid of who you are?" He asked

"I'm not afraid, that's not it, well... maybe it is... I... I don't know anymore!"

"You child, are lost in this world, you have no family, so why run from the only one you have left?"

"If he truly wanted me in his family he would never have... he…"

"He believed you dead! If you should blame anyone it's the ones who found you and took you from him…" he said calmly. He placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and shook her gently; she slowly turned to face him.

"How do you know so much about me? I never told you…" She finally asked, the question had been bugging her.

"Elrond, he told me a bit about you, even a few things you wouldn't know"

"Like?"

"You will have to find those out yourself!" He said beginning to walk down the path the dwarves had just taken. "Think about it, all you have to do is say your name! Or do you not want a place to belong?"

The last word was enticing, belong, she had never truly belonged anywhere since Dale was destroyed, the only place she had felt she was a part of a community was at Thorin's side as his adopted daughter, but that had been short lived.

It was true what the wizard had said, she was truly lost.

She considered what to do and then decided it would be foolish and downright stupid to go back to them right away. So alone and a little put down by the whole affair, she collected her bow and, began slowly back up the hill in a westerly direction. She blocked all of them from her mind and focused only on the present, only on her steps and thought nothing of the future.

* * *

She had been walking for a good long while now, her limbs beginning to ache greatly from overuse. She trod slowly and gentle on the soft ground. She was in no rush and had nowhere to be.

The sun was now shrinking behind the highest peaks of the mountain and the golden hues that had greeted her earlier were quickly fading. The dark purples, and indigo's that went hand in hand with the dusk were rapidly taking their place.

She kept her mind blank, or as blank as it could be. She tried not to linger on past events and forced herself to forget, but try as she might, she couldn't seem to shift the recent memories or replace them with even older ones. She was beating herself up over the whole thing; it would have been far easier had she just told him who she was from the start.

All was silent as she fought the war in her head. The whistling of the wind through the trees was all to be heard.

That's when the most ungodly growl joined it from above her. She instinctively compressed herself behind a tree, so as not to be found by whatever it was. She peaked around the tree's trunk, and up to a ledge some distance ahead of her. The sight that met her eyes was unexpected to say the least.

Upon the ledge she saw a pack of feral wargs, their orc riders drooling in anticipation of what they were about to do. In front, and clearly in charge, was a large pale Orc, Azog, The Defiler.

'_Goblin's can work quickly when they want to!'_ she thought remembering that not long ago the goblin chief had sent word to these orcs.

She knew they had come this way for one thing, Thorin, and they would do anything and kill anyone that got in their way.

Now Braerka felt the heaviness of hatred well up in her, this pale Orc, Azog the Defiler had taken so much from Thorin and so many others, he had defiled many innocents no doubt, and now he was here to claim his prize. She felt herself wanting to scream out and curse at him, but she knew better than that. She remained calmed, blocked out all noises and smells, Azog was the only the enemy worth thinking about now. She pulled back behind the tree.

He cried out in the black speech he'd been taught since birth. Then others orcs astride wargs leaped forward, and soon they were galloping down the hill.

Braerka considered just continuing on her path to wherever she happened to end up, but that feeling again crept up inside her, she needed to save him she had to, he was all the family she had left even if he didn't really know it. He also wasn't the only one a risk, there was Kili and Bilbo, and the all the others she had made friends of.

With a new burning ambition she chased after them down the hill. They were much faster and had already reached the bottom. She saw a fire start up and begin to spread from tree to tree, she sped up.

_'If anyone is killing Thorin Oakenshield it will be me!'_ She thought trying to fuel her anger and continued darting down the hill, letting her momentum carry her onwards. She had only her daggers and bow now, Thorin had kept his sword, she would be heavily outnumbered and outmatched but another lesson she had learned from him and one that had been reinforced by the assassins was that nothing was impossible.

* * *

Braerka ran faster and faster, the sound of only her blood pulsing in her veins filled her head.

_'This is mental turn back!'_ The voice in her head cried.

_'No, I can't, not now, it's too late to turn back and they will need me!'_ she told it.

She carried on, and swiftly leapt into a nearby tree to get some sort of vantage over her enemy. She saw Thorin and his company, Gandalf included, clinging on to a toppled tree for dear life. The tree hung by a few roots to the side of the cliff and a deadly drop awaited any that let go.

The riderless wargs ran in circles trying to get past the flames that shielded them. They failed, but Azog was not worried, he would get his prize one way or another; all he had to do was wait.

The pale Orc laughed at their futile attempts at recovering. He eyed Thorin specifically and Thorin met his gaze. She didn't know what was going through his head, but when Thorin stood to confront the Orc, she could only imagine the chaos there was in his head.

He balanced himself on the now horizontal trunk of the tree, he took time to adjust himself, and then he strapped his Oakenshield to his arm. He drew Orcrist and began down the trunk.

_'You idiot!_' She cursed at him silently, she felt a sudden urge to jump down and to her surprise she found herself doing so. It was as if her limbs were not her own anymore, as if a greater power had hold of her. She would never have done this so rashly on her own dime, but then this wasn't just any dwarf.

She landed and rolled forward, stood and fell into a run. She ended up tackling Thorin to the ground. His face was shocked to say the least, "What are you...?" She didn't let him finish.

"Saving your royal ass!" she spat at him returning to her feet quickly and speedily analysing the situation.

In their short exchange Azog had moved closer, he spat out in the black speech, one of his minions brandished a cruel looking sword, battle-worn and rusted. The orc swung the blade and barely missed Braerka as she stepped backwards and away from the swing.

Thorin still lay bewildered on the ground watching closely as she fought back. She drew her small dagger and also another longer one from her belt. She held them up in defence of herself, ensuring she was between the orc and his prey.

Braerka was too close to the wargs for comfort one of them ran and leapt at her, she was knocked back; it snapped and growled at her face, she slipped her brandished dagger into the animals gut and watched as it recoiled in agony. She went to get up only to be suddenly pounced on by another only this one got a hold of her it tossed her like a ragdoll before it finally let her go, throwing her before Azog's own white warg.

The Orc bent forward on his warg, he spoke in English, "Who are you? Why do come between me and my prey?"

She didn't answer, he snarled, he didn't like the fact that his expression changed from angered to amused so quickly.

"A Soul Reaver!" He said reaching out for the gem with his good arm.

She recoiled in alarm swinging her dagger in all directions, and she quickly rose to her feet and answered, "That is no concern of yours!"

The Pale Orc simply laughed and stared at her longingly. If Azog wanted the crystal it couldn't be for a good reason. She couldn't just give it to him, she knew there was more to the blue gem than met the eye, and her knowledge of it was not complete. In Azog's hands the crystal would not be safe.

"You want it come and get it!" she challenged him.

She hadn't expected him to charge so quickly, the white warg and rider fell down on her only they didn't, she was pushed out of the way. She looked to her rescuer, Thorin!

A surge of emotions both angry and relieved took her and distracted her, Thorin was down struck down by Azog's mace, a strike that was meant for her. He was knocked back off his feet.

"NO!" She screamed, tossing a knife at the pale orc, she drew and threw another and another, each missed he was moving too quickly; he turned and charged again on Thorin. She took her bow, nocked an arrow and shot, the arrow hits its mark, Azog arm flinched in pain causing his strike to falter.

Knowing she had mere seconds before an enraged Azog would rise she ran forward to the injured Thorin he was losing consciousness and fast. She shook him roughly, "Stay Awake! Thorin!"

Azog sat on his warg bored with the idea of play. He broke the shaft of the arrow protruding from his shoulder and simultaneously spat a commanded. She didn't know what exactly he had said, but when an Orc had dismounted his warg, she knew it had been most likely a death sentence.

She snatched up Orcrist from Thorin's side, and held it against the Orc bearing down on her. He swung his club and knocked the blade out of her hand, she was so exhausted she couldn't even grip it tightly enough to keep hold.

The Orc came forward and then swung his club again and again. At first she successfully dodged his swings, but she made one wrong move and it cost her dearly.

Repeatedly he beat her, first her stomach the as doubled over her arms and back. The pain was almost unbearable but through it all she found the energy to lash out, leaping at the Orc.

He fell backwards at the unsuspected attack dropping his club, and briskly tried to scramble away. Braerka punched the orc over and over as he had done to her, she didn't stop until the body had stopped twitching and an unidentifiable pulp lay in front of her.

Now she really was exhausted she had spent her remaining energy and rage on pummelling the helpless Orc. She fell backwards to the ground and looked to her enemy. Once again Azog closed in.

He dismounted his warg, it seemed to snarl happily at the prospect of what was to come.

"He was one of my best!" Azog growled, disrespectfully kicking the body.

"If you... say so..." She coughed, spitting out blood and a tooth that had been knocked from its place.

Azog smiled maliciously and leaned forward out-stretching his good arm; she tried crawling backwards away from him but she was exhausted and moved slowly.

In anger he swung his other metal limb at her. It went deep into her leg and he hauled her close, using his good arm he grabbed her neck and held her up.

She struggled for air, she swung her arms widely at him, trying to make him let go, nothing worked. She began kicking him it also didn't work. Black spots clouded her vision. She needed to breath but she couldn't she listened to his evil tones as he ordered yet another Orc to kill.

In the corner of her eye she saw another Orc approach Thorin who was amazingly still conscious. The Orc brought its blade to his neck and held it there waiting for the order to kill from Azog.

Azog grinned a manic smile, he was winning and he liked it. Replacing his good arm with his manacle, she felt the cold metal around her neck constrict her breathing even more. The world became greyer than ever before.

Azog tore the Reaver from around her neck and held it by the chain, he smiled,

"Thank you, Miss Arkensan!" He snarled. Her eyes widened, how the hell did he know her name? She had never met him and yet he knew her, but who could have told him?

She clawed and kicked at him again he became again bored with her feeble attempts and tossed her aside, she fell to the ground behind Thorin. She tumbled and rolled almost going over the edge but she stopped herself, only just.

Coughing and gasping for air, she tried desperately to get back to her feet, not for herself but for Thorin, he may not have been in a worse state than her, but he was almost unconscious and a blade rested on his throat.

Time seemed to slow; Braerka sensed something, a powerful strength of some kind? She didn't know, the fire blazed about her and snippets of her memories of Dale ablaze shot across her mind, she suppressed them, it was not the time for dwelling in the past but to look to the future. They would never reclaim Erebor with Thorin dead; she had to do something even if it meant she had to die.

Fumbling to her feet she tripped and hit the ground a few feet from Thorin, she coughed and spluttered again, spitting out more blood, she wiped her mouth clean her coat sleeve stained red.

Looking up with tired, exhausted eyes, she saw that Azog had remounted his warg, he sat staring mindlessly at the Reaver, Braerka blinked assuming her vision had been impaired, but it had not, what she was seeing was true, the crystal was no longer the pale sapphire blue as it usually was, it was a deep bloody red.

_'What on earth?!'_ What was going on with it, she had never in all the years she'd had owned it, see it do this.

Azog laughed aloud, his followers joined him, helpless Braerka could only watch as he gave the order, "Bring me his head!"

She watched as the blade rose high above Thorin's neck, she forced herself onto her knees and began shuffling to him, the blade began its rapid descent but was cut short when something unimaginable happened.

A small figure jumped out of nowhere, knocking over the orc rendering its sword useless. The small figure stabbed at the Orc until it breathed no more. Then withdrawing the small pale-blue glowing sword it wielded, it stepped back to guard Thorin and her.

"Bilbo?!" She gasped, as she did Thorin's body became limp and appeared lifeless, _'he can't be dead! NO!_' She began cursing in her mind and felt a deep rage build up once again, it gave her strength and soon she was on her feet.

Finding energy from nowhere, Braerka lifted Orcrist again and stood by Bilbo. She gave him a curt nod and glared at the orcs, Azog snarled baring his teeth in outrage. He still held the crystal by its chain.

_'I have to get that back!_' She asserted, breathing heavily she knew what she would have to do, kill Azog or at least try.

She saw Bilbo backing off slightly, she pulled him forward.

"Hold your ground!" She whispered to him, she knew he was terrified, she was too, and anyone not afraid in their situation was a fool.

They were greatly outnumbered and outgunned. There was no way on earth they could defeat them all, not alone. Then unpredictably others members of the company, who had recovered were charging the unsuspecting orcs.

They yelled their battle cries cursing in Khuzdul at them. Braerka felt some relief at their arrival, she had in all honesty forgotten about them. She glanced at the toppled tree, the rest were still there hanging on for dear life. They would have to be quick.

Fili, Kili, Dwalin and Balin began thrashing at the orcs with all the energy they had left, Braerka stood her ground with Bilbo before charging at a distracted Azog, only to get side-tracked by another Orc. She ended his life quickly but with no lack of pain.

She turned to see Bilbo facing down the pale Orc, defending Thorin, alone. She began her way back to him.

"No one ones between me and my prey!" She heard the Orc hiss at Bilbo, he meant to kill him, she would not allow it.

Out of nowhere, a swooping air current started up like whirlwind, the loose leaves and her hair began to shoot in all directions. She looked up and saw eagles, many of them too. They squawked as the descended onto the ledge, snatching up wargs and their riders as they did. Some reared up and enraged the fires by blasting them the fresh air feeding them and making them hotter. The orcs screamed at they met their ends.

The eagles came diving quickly and snatched up several of the dwarves from the tree. They had come to their aid, now they would all, hopefully, make it out.

Again relief spread across her as the larger of the great birds settled and then lifted Thorin gently in its talons and left. With Azog distracted she thought this was her best chance and so she ran and tackled him knocking him off his warg.

They wrestled for the crystal but Azog was too strong for her, he knocked her back. As she recovered she felt something cold against her hand, she looked, it was her dagger, and she snatched it up as Azog began to growl angrily assuming victory.

He stood ready for her attack and did not look amused when she buried the knife in his chest. He screamed loudly, and dropped the crystal she made an attempt to grab but he swung with his metal arm.

He then smiled realising he had the power to use it now, and could heal himself. _'Oh shit!'_ She thought.

He grabbed the crystal, again by its chain, the red glow became more and more fierce. He then threw it up and caught in his bare hand and to her surprise he spontaneously caught fire. His entire right arm began flaming and bubbling as the flesh began to melt under the heat.

Azog howled out in pain casting the crystal away and tried frantically to douse the flames. There weren't normal flames the glowed blood red, angry and fast moving. Braerka watched in horror. The crystal did this? Had it chosen to? Or was it just... Well she couldn't think of any other explanation.

Realising time was short she ran and attempted to pick up the Reaver, it burned her fingertips and she let go resolving to lifting it by the chain.

As Azog regained his footing his half charred face looked up angrily to her, he cursed in the black speech, and began walking towards her stilted and in pain. He growled angrily and began forwards after, his remaining orcs also closed in, his warg approached him beckoning him to mount he did so.

Braerka glanced around her, the others of the company had been saved and she was still stuck on the ledge. She saw only one way out and hoped to Aule that one of the eagles would come for her. Suppressing all agony and pain she began sprinting to the edge of the cliff, and dove off.

* * *

**AN: Here you go guys another, nice and long, chapter! Hoped you enjoyed, as always R&R, just remember the more the reviews the quicker I'll update. :)**

**Also some of you have been asking about a kiss, well I can tell you it is coming and very very soon ;) so stay tuned for the "magical" moment, it will be in either the next chapter or the one after, I've not decided yet :)**


	17. Chapter 17: Miracles

**Chapter 17: Miracles**

She heard Azog's angry defeated howls fade into nothing as she went over the edge and began her rapid descent.

Falling uncontrollably she began spinning, she couldn't right herself, her vision again began to blur as the blood rushed to her head. She thought of Thorin, and how if she never saw him again he would remember her as a liar, of how he would never know the true struggle she was enduring just to keep him alive.

She had turned her back on the assassins, the only life she had known after him, she had denied them for a chance to return to him but it was not going as planned. She was losing hope that she would make it out of this predicament alive.

Wind sped past her as the ground came closer and closer, she shut her eyes tight bracing herself for the inevitable end heading her way.

All of a sudden she felt herself stop and land on a soft cushioned surface. She stroked the softness surface, being careful not to let go of the crystal. It was feather like, smooth and silky; she rolled over and slowly opened her eyes. She breathed a sigh of relief.

By chance she had been rescued by the last of the eagles that had come to help them. She thanked him over and over, hoping in fact that it was a he.

The great eagle, on which she had landed, flew high and soared elegantly, quickly catching up to the others. From so high up she could see the others clinging onto their own rescuers.

She spied Thorin and wanted so badly to set down now, just to make sure he was ok. But she knew deep down the last thing he would want was to see her.

She was a fraud, a lair in his eyes, someone not to be trusted, and he was probably right she had already crossed the assassins, who's to say she wouldn't cross him! Deep down she knew that she would never willingly do that, but all the same, under the right circumstances anything was possible.

As she relaxed she looked to the Reaver, its colour had returned completely to its normal blue and it was no longer hot to the touch. She was bewildered by the gem, in all the years she had owned it, it had never done anything like what it had just done.

Why had it turned red? Why would it not work for Azog? Why did it burn him? She was greatly concerned, what if it chose to turn on her at one point. She tucked it into her coat pocket not wanting to deal with it.

'Won't be using it again anytime soon then!' she concluded.

As the flight carried on Braerka began to feel unimaginable amounts of pain, raging up from her wounds, the crystals effect from earlier had finally worn off; she should have known it wouldn't have done its job right.

She had the metallic taste of blood in her mouth, and her leg was also bleeding badly. She did nothing to stop it. In her mind she deserved it for all the wrong she had done, she felt she deserved to feel this pain, if only as payment for her recent past of bad decisions.

Braerka couldn't help but feel responsible for all they had suffered in the past few days. Had she not joined them maybe none of it would've happened, maybe they would be better off without her! Then again had she not tried to join them in the first place Bofur would be lying dead at the bottom of a creek.

All the thinking she was doing began to hurt her head. She closed her eyes and tried to get some rest, but none came. She tried to focus on her wounds, and tried to control her pain. She didn't know how long she had spent doing so but when she opened her eyes it was dawn, the sun was breaking the darkness and pale reds, pinks and blues, marred the black.

Her eagle made a sudden diving motion causing her to feel sick. She sat up and leaned forward to get a better look; they were headed to a large stone pillar in the middle of the wilderness. 'Carrock' as she remembered it.

The eagles began circling the large monument, touching down one by one dropping off their passengers, Thorin was first then Gandalf; the others soon followed. She saw the wizard approach Thorin with haste.

'He's not dead! He can't be dead!' she chanted over and over in her head. She felt sick with worry, had she what she'd done not been enough to save him?

She urged her eagle to drop her next but she wasn't. Only after the rest of the company had touched-down was she dropped off. The urge she felt to fall to the ground when she dismounted the great eagle was overwhelming and barely overpowered by her want to know Thorin was unharmed.

* * *

Images reeled in Thorin's mind, memories of bygone days and people long forgotten flashed in front of him.

_'Am I dead?'_ He wondered, his voice seemed to echo in the dark corners of his mind.

He felt empty as if he'd been drained of absolutely everything. He felt anger at himself for being so foolish as to face Azog alone, and especially when he was so drained. Then memories of what came after became clear, the girl, who called herself Shepherd, the girl who looked so much like... her. The girl from Dale, the child he had tried to make a life for. He had failed her like he had failed so many others; he hadn't been there to save her when she needed him most.

The images flickered rapidly across his eyes; he saw her as she was then young energetic, learning to speak Khuzdul and enjoying her new life away from the torment. He had loved her so, like his own, she would have been his rightful heir had she not... not... The memory of how he lost wasn't one he considered much, or kindly remembered.

If this woman really was her, pushing her away was the last thing he wanted to do, and it might just be what he had done.

He felt trapped inside himself, lost it an endless stream of all he had ever seen or experienced, if this wasn't a prelude to death he didn't know what else to make of it. Then it stopped. So suddenly, no warning, nothing, it just ended. He felt himself alive again, an unlevelled rocky surface beneath him, he was lying down. He flickered open his eyes slowly, the light of the sun stung at them. They had been closed for a while he concluded; now it was sunrise.

His first thought was of her, but he remembered he was supposed to hate her, after what she did, or rather didn't do.

_'What would the company think if I suddenly change my mind? Would they think me mad?'_ he wondered,_ 'Does it matter?'_

If she was that little girl, all grown up with morals and aspirations all her own, who's to say she didn't have a just and cause for keeping to herself. Maybe Kili had been right, maybe he should give her a chance to explain.

The first thing he saw when his vision finally focused was Gandalf, the look on his face reflected just how close he had actually come to death. Thorin felt humbled by the wizards concern, but stubborn as he was, he forced himself to his feet.

He suppressed a gasp as his chest strained the offer the full capacity for air; he drew short quick gasps as he became accustomed to it. He tried to stand himself up but his limbs were numbed and unresponsive. He tried again this time he felt them tingle with a prickly sensation, and they answered his commands. He was quickly aided by his nephews.

No sooner on his feet he was almost falling over again. Dwalin, Fili and Kili held him remain steady while he regained his balance.

Thorin looked ahead of himself, he saw Bilbo standing there and her beside him, their backs turned, he cleared his throat hurriedly and stepped forward.

_'Please let this be the right thing to do!'_ he prayed to Mahal.

* * *

Braerka had tried to move forward to see him but with the company crowded round him it was impossible to see.

"Thorin? Thorin!" snapped Gandalf, trying to shake him awake. As she listened to his cries, she edged around the group. She walked up past Bilbo, taking a second to glance at the situation. Thorin was breathing and slowly coming to, he would survive.

She continued on up to the very edge of the cliff, never before had she been on the Carrock, seen it many times yes but never actually stood upon, it was much taller up close and in person.

Looking down she could see the entirety of the Greenwood or at least what was supposed to be greenwood, a dark gloom seemed to have settled over the forest, and it was not as friendly looking as it had once been. She knew their path would lead them there, if they allowed her to continue with them that is. Even after everything she still held a buried hope that Thorin would see past why she hadn't told him, that he would come to his senses and actually recognise her with her having to say anything.

Looking out further she saw their final destination, The Lonely Mountain, it looked so small for where she was, a long journey still lay ahead of them. She relished the calmness of the moment as she looked out over the vast landscape, it would probably end very soon.

A familiar, soft and somewhat timid voice began behind her, she turned and looked at Bilbo. He still seemed to trust her which in ways was a good sign.

"It'll be alright, you'll see!" He told her, nudging her with his elbow, she wanted to smile to let him know she was ok but she couldn't, she had no energy left in her, she was running on air and really just wanted to fall into deaths cold hands.

She suddenly recollected her exit of the goblins caves and that hideous creature that had so angrily screamed his name, claiming he'd stole something.

_'Should I tell him? Ask him why?'_ she thought, it was the last of her worries right now but maybe he would want someone to talk to about it, if she ever got a chance that is.

"You?!" a gruff voice interrupted her thoughts, "What did you think you were you doing?"

She sighed turning to see Thorin painfully approach them, she couldn't help but wonder, _'Is he talking to me or Bilbo?'_

He had to remember her coming back, and the things she had done to protect him, but if he did then he should also remember what Bilbo had done. If he was angry with Bilbo she could see no reason why.

Both she and Bilbo had turned to look at Thorin, he was standing weakling, and trembling slightly. He had survived at least, that's all that mattered to her, to hell with the consequences.

"You almost got yourself killed!" He went on; she still had no clue as to who he was talking to.

She felt afraid now as he began advancing faster, exasperated fury replacing the shine in his once complacently soft eyes. She realised he was talking to Bilbo he stalked right up to him. She felt knocked back, and lost in her position and tried to move away only to be stopped by his firm hand.

"And you... you're not much better!" He said coldly.

Braerka bowed her head and took a step back, withdrawing from the conversation. His tone had suggested nothing had changed in him, and that his decision from earlier still stood. If he still felt that way the least she could do was leave.

* * *

Thorin admitted he didn't like the hurt expression that formed on her face when he spoke to her, but it was necessary. She may had done those things with good intentions but how she was going about it now wasn't exemplary. He would come to her soon and seek the answers to the repeatedly asked question of 'Why?'

Turning back to Bilbo he continued. "I told you that you would be a burden, extra baggage and that you would not survive! Did I not?!" He bellowed at the hobbit, Bilbo looked oddly calm for someone being shouted at by a dwarven warrior, he wondered if he knew the full extent of what he could possibly have to endure.

Bilbo made no attempt to answer, he simply stood and nodded, and allowed the words to spill out like daggers as they pierced him, Thorin knew he had only meant to help and that the hobbit was probably wishing he was anywhere but here in front of him, and that would change shortly.

"And you know what?" He said, forcing his manner to become remarkably calmer, "I have never... EVER... been so wrong in my whole life!" He finished, taking the hobbit into a warm and friendly embrace.

Safe to say everyone was surprised by this, Thorin had never been one for hugging. Bilbo looked most surprised at being held by the dwarf, his eyes looked like they would burst out of his skull at the tightness of the grip. He stood bewildered by the action before reluctantly returning the gesture. The company sighed and laughed in relief and acceptance, Bilbo was now officially one of them. They moved forward and shared in the moment.

For the first time, in a long time, Thorin felt better than good. It was strange to him, it had been a very long time since he had allowed himself to let loose and actually show any affection. But now that he had he found he enjoyed it, it was relieving and took some of the weight off his shoulders.

'_I might try this more often!'_ he thought to himself, revelling in the warm feeling that swamped him.

Thorin finally let go of the hobbit, his light mood shifting quickly as he looked to where she was standing but she was gone. He hadn't seen this coming, he had thought she'd come back for another attempt at redemption, perhaps he had been wrong. Perhaps she had only done it out of onus.

He caught Kili looking to the beginning of the long descent, and saw, as he tried to push past others in the company to reach it, there was alarm in his face.

'_She's leaving?!'_ he concluded, this he could not allow, he wasn't going to lose her, not again.

* * *

When Thorin had the hobbit in his grasp Braerka had decided it was best that she leave. She felt unneeded and lost, a little out of place too.

She moved through the company and they moved forward to join in the happy moment. Braerka turned and gave them one last smile before beginning her descent.

She awkwardly descended step by step. They were huge, almost as if the Carrock was intended to be used by Giants, and who knows it probably was.

As she her injuries began inhibiting her movement greatly. She stumbled forward shattered and just about ready to collapse. She grasped her leg, when Azog had dragged her to him he had deeply pierced her, she gritted her teeth and continued on, not even daring to look back.

She allowed the blood to flow from her wounds as she pressured them more and more with every step. She didn't care; she'd rather suffer or die, than spend the rest of her seemingly endless life in the knowledge that Thorin hated her.

Her thoughts then suddenly jumped to Kili. She couldn't help but wish he was with her but she knew that he would side with her if she did chose to go back but she didn't want to risk damaging his relationship with his uncle, which was in some ways already strained enough.

Forever seemed to pass, she was close to the bottom now and that's when the most unexpected thing happened.

"Shepherd!" She heard someone call from behind her; reluctantly turning, her eyes followed the red trail of glistening blood behind her. She hadn't realised that she'd been trailing so much blood; it was amazing she was still alive let alone walking!

Looking up she saw him, Thorin, staring longingly at her and Kili at his side. Her spirit lifted slightly at their appearance but it dropped just as quickly. She turned to move on moving faster and straining her side in the process. She muffled a growl as she began, that's when he called her again.

"Braerka?!" He shouted when she began to move on, she darted her eyes back to him, spinning on the spot. He had just used her name, her real name! Did this mean he'd accepted her? Or was he still deciding?

Kili looked a little confused but it was Thorin's expression that amazed her most.

His piercing blue eyes were now begging for her to listen, his face was stern but she could see an underlying hint of desperation. She felt her heart begin to race, had he really finally chosen to recognise her? Was this really happening?

She answered his pleading eyes with a nod. He said her name again, though this time it was barely a whisper.

Braerka felt a wave of relief wash over her as he said her name; she smiled and then all at once lost consciousness. She fell over the edge, blood loss and exhaustion finally getting better of her. Gravity took hold of her and pulled her down, though she was unconscious she felt complete, well almost, there was still something missing and unfulfilled.

* * *

Her unconscious lapse was ended quickly when she abruptly hit the hard earth. It blasted the air clean out of her and left her feeling even more drained than before. She coughed and spluttered as the air left her.

Luckily she hadn't been too far from the bottom and had only fallen a few feet, any higher and she would've most likely been dead. She cursed Lady Luck for doing so; Braerka had lived too long a life for any human and wanted the endless sleep beyond it to claim her.

'_What am I thinking?'_ she asked herself, why did she want to die now? Knowing that Thorin had accepted who she was, what reason could she possibly have for wanting death?

_'It just my injuries talking!'_ she concluded, believing that her mind had begun to hear her body yearning for the end.

She stared at the sky through the convenient gap in the forest canopy, she ignored all sound and sensation, and she just stared blankly. She thought she would've been happier finally being reunited with the only family she had left, but she didn't really. For some reason she still felt lost, but why?

_'I've kept Thorin alive, he's recognised me as Braerka! I've just got to continue eluding the Assassin's and deal with The Black Eyes if it comes to it! That's it!' _she thought.

But that wasn't all there was, there was something else she was missing something big; she didn't have a clue what though.

_'Perhaps its the mystery of the Soul Reaver, and my strange dreams?!'_ she assumed, still lying on the soft grass with no plans to move.

She heard the trees rustle not far from her, but it was no normal rustle it was deliberate and rough man made by the sound of it. She thought, 'They couldn't be down already! Could they?'

Overlooking her well-being and the fact that moving could only make things worse for her she forced herself up and listened; awaiting the approaching crunch.

The rustle grew louder and closer. She tensed and drew her hidden dagger only to come face to face with a small red fox. It considered her with its black beady and fearful eyes before quickly darting back the way it had come, she concluded that she was deluded now, the pain and revelations all going to her head.

She sheathed the blade and relaxed, immediately regretting doing so as it became sore to breath.

She allowed herself to back up and lean against a tree, as she had done so many times before when she just wanted to breathe. It didn't help at all but in fact only worsened the discomfort. She only wanted relief from this torment and not even the crystal could grant her that any more.

She didn't want to use it for fear that it might be corrupting her slowly or maybe even actually killing her. Perhaps that's why it was healing her properly anymore.

She reached into her pocket to examine it once more and was shocked to find it not there. She rummaged through her bag and then every pocket she knew existed and then checked them all again, then she thought, _'Please, don't tell me it's all the way up there?!' _

She sighed despondently at the thought of climbing all the way back up to check.

The rustling came back but this time from another direction, it was accompanied by voices and familiar ones at that. She shook her head and buried the pain like she had done for almost 180 years now and began stalking away from it.

'_Why am I still running?!'_ she asked herself, she had no reason to leave anymore, Thorin had by the looks of come to some sort of understanding regarding her and had finally come to his senses and realised who she was.

But still she moved away. Maybe she just wanted to be alone? To have time to collect her thoughts and let what had just happened sink in. She suddenly felt tears surging in the corners of her eyes, roughly she brushed them away smearing all the dirt, oil and blood their across her face. With the state she was in she was happy not to be in several pieces and cared not for her appearance. But she would never let anyone see her in tears and held them at bay.

She heard someone running and panting as they approached her. "Shepherd! Please wait a moment!" It was Kili.

She rolled her to eyes to heaven, smiling broadly as she did, she could always count on him to be the first there. She continued on without a second glance.

"Shepherd!" He called again with a less than appreciative tone. Again she smiled, choosing to stay silent but noticeably slowing her pace.

What he said next caused her head to turn.

"You forgot something!"

She had turned to see him crouched over and lifting something from the grass, it was the Soul Reaver, it was blue but upon his touch began to mar and turn to its fiery red once again. She hadn't thought to check the ground where she fell; this was an indication of just how worn-out she really was.

"Don't touch it!" She screeched as he went to cup it with his other hand, the last thing she wanted was a repeat of what had happened with Azog, especially if it was Kili involved. He was important to her, what she felt when she was with him was like nothing she had ever felt. Having only recently realised that she had deep feelings for him, she didn't want it to end so soon.

'_Maybe he's this something big I'm missing?'_ she thought. She considered this for a moment before coming to a conclusion, _'Don't be so foolish!'_

"Why?" he questioned, a little confused as to how such a small gem could be considered such a threat.

"Don't ask questions just don't!" She hissed at him, beginning to walk quickly to his side for fear he'd do what he'd been told not to.

He obeyed and let the now blazing red gem hang by the chain. He watched it warily and looked to her with questioning eyes when she stopped to examine it.

"Why?" She whispered, speaking to the gem. Though she knew it could not answer orally she was stunned when it flashed its normal blue and quickly returned to the bloody crimson.

'_What on earth?!'_ She thought. Why had it chosen now of all times to reveal this ability? She had owned the gem for a very long time now and it had never once done this, but then again it had never left her person.

She came to the conclusion that after all this time the gem had a consciousness, that it had chosen to defend itself when a stranger had tried to use it. Maybe because it was so used to her, addicted maybe. It wanted, or rather needed her life essence. It had sensed a new bearer and tried to obliterate him in the process. It was a strange conclusion but the only one that seemed to be coherent.

'_Maybe Gandalf will know…'_ she concluded mentally, the wizard knew a lot of things he was bound to know something.

She noted that Kili was still staring at her and beginning to look worried by her expression.

"Well are you going to take it?" He said dangling it in front of her.

She scoffed at his sudden impatience and moved to grab it but he side stepped her and took hold of her waist with his other hand. She suppressed a hiss as his hand met he tender and freshly torn flesh on her side. She glared at him and reached for it again, again he did the same.

"Who are you?" He finally asked, returning her glare.

'_Is he really doing this now?'_ she wondered, could this not wait until they were all rested and in better form?

"No one important! Now please Kili! Give it to me!" She pleaded with him.

"Everyone's important! Especially you!" he sniped back quickly. He sighed before continuing, "Thorin called you Braerka, is that your real name?" he went on, ignoring her plea.

She became angry at his persistent questions, and made no attempt to answer.

"Is it?" He tried again, he tone sincere but forceful.

"Yes!" She growled, her pain overflowing and seeping into her actions. She didn't mean to sound angry but she couldn't avoid it.

"Why? Why did you not tell him? "

"Because I was... I was..." she couldn't think what had she been doing when she had made that choice.

Protecting him? Herself? Being an idiot? She honestly didn't know, and it made her blood boil, she reached once again for the crystal in his grasp, it radiated with and nearly blinding red glow, which seemed to match her anger. He pulled it out of her reach.

"Why are you so important to him all of a sudden? Hmm? Please just tell me!"

* * *

By now the rest of the company had caught up and was watching the scene unfurl. Thorin looked on with disbelieving eyes and scolded himself for not recognising her sooner. How could he have been so blind as to not recognise her? She had the same flowing auburn hair, the same eyes and she even dressed in a very similar fashion. Observing her now he felt stupid for not noticing it all sooner. he knew rightly why he hadn't leapt at the idea, she was still alive, how could she possibly be alive after so long!

She had spent the last 165 years dead to him and then she decides to show up and lies to his face. He felt anger boil up within him but it wasn't at him or even at her, but at life and fate and destiny and all the other forces than had pulled her from him.

"I'm sure she will tell in time…" Thorin called to his nephew, having heard his last inquiry. It was true that he himself desperately wanted to know why she had deceived him, and how she was but he thought it best not to push her in her current state.

She nodded to him, but he saw into her eyes, he saw the shimmering glint that meant she was telling the truth but also that she intended to hold out and that she would not share everything. He had seen it many times when she was younger.

He then looked to his youngest nephew who still held the gem in his hand, "What is that?" he asked.

Gandalf then stepped forward.

"It is a Soul Reaver! Tell me, how did you come by it?" He questioned concern clear in his tone.

* * *

"I didn't steal it if that's what you're implying!" She snapped angrily at him, quickly withdrawing herself from Kili's grasp.

She rubbed her temples, things had gotten complicated like she had feared and now she was cornered, injured with nowhere to run, not that she was able to or even really wanted to. All she wanted to do right now was curl up into a ball and sleep for a few decades.

Thorin had asked the wizard to explain and he had when on to tell him the gems magical qualities, how it could prolong your life by healing fatal wounds in mere seconds. The wizard's knowledge seemed to match hers exactly. He would be no help to her if she wanted to find out the reasons for its recent actions.

Thorin then came to the conclusion she had expected he would.

"It that how you have survived? Is it the reason you are still as young looking as you are?"

"No, I haven't had it that long; my appearance is down to something not even I know of!" She said truthfully, though she was trying hard to restrain her anger from spewing it wasn't happening, her wounds were great and her movement was only aggravating them more. In turn it was making her agitated and she was too tired to care.

"Wait how old are you?" Kili asked inquisitively, possibly confused by Thorin's question.

"Too old!" she replied simply, not really wanting to share it, she was more than twice his age now that she thought about it. 'Really too old!' she finished subconsciously.

She was as Thorin considered the small gem before moving forward to Kili. He then reached out to take the crystal in his own hand.

"NO!" She screamed at him, "Don't touch it!"

"Why?" he asked, it was only a small crystal what harm could come from holding it.

"It's been…malfunctioning lately, doing things it doesn't normally do, and it's really not safe!" she told him.

"what sort of things?" Gandalf asked.

"Bad things!" she said sternly, trying to dissuade Thorin from progressing any further.

He ignored her pleas and continued, the next he saw was her speeding form flying in front of him to stop his advance.

"Don't" she commanded him, she was breathing heavily. She knew he wouldn't listen but she had to try, and what she would have to do when she failed terrified her.

He pushed her aside and continued his advance; again she sprinted around with unbelievable speed for someone so badly injured, and snatched the gem from Kili's hand.

For her it had been a swift and fleeting act meant to warn them off but what happened what beyond comprehensible.

She saw a millions images flash all at once like an accumulated blast of memory and dreams. Her head ached as they stormed her mind, and then there was nothing.

The crystal in its own fiery rage sent her up in flames and she collapsed to a heap screaming before the gem cooled suddenly. The flames that began as a fiery and angry red reduced to calm layer of blue across her, it withered and died soon after and her consciousness along with it.

* * *

The flames shrouded her and she felt herself hit the ground, she then forced her eyes open to see a sapphire blue coating of flame searing through the material of her coat, but strangely it didn't burn, there was no pain and it quickly went out.

The blaze ebbed away fading lastly at her still clenched fist which held the enraged gem. She slowly opened her hand to see the crystal, a pale blue glow about it, it had relaxed again. She concluded that the crystal definitely had to have some form of consciousness now; there was no other way to explain its anger at the prospect of being held by another, and reason why it chose not to hurt her.

She had owned the crystal for nearly 60 years now, and had used it many times. The gem must have become accustom to her and longed only for her never ending essence. It lusted for her, like a drunken husband would for his wife. It wanted her and only her, no one else would do.

She assumed her thought to be right seeing as so little was actually known about them and the fact that they were terribly rare.

She ended her thought trail there realising that she was still slumped on the ground and that no one had come to her aid. She closed her fist again and stood up. She was as it seemed in the exact place she had been; only now she was alone. The company that had stood there moments ago, with scrutinising glares, was gone. They had vanished into thin air.

'_Please don't tell me I'm dreaming'_ she concluded, she assumed it must have been, she no longer felt any pain, her wounds were healed and everything was unusually calm.

She didn't like this dream; it was too real and also too tranquil. She was able to feel, touch smell, even taste the air around her. It was as vivid as the dream, or rather nightmare she had back in Rivendell, only that had been more frightening.

Remembering that vision her gut began to twist into knots at the feeling of not controlling her own fate of how things were going to pan out. She wanted to run away and to not look back. But wasn't that what she had been doing her entire life, looking back and the things that had happened and never doing anything to change them?

She sighed deeply realising that she had spent her entire life running from things and that she was in essence a coward despite all the terrible foes she'd faced and defeated.

She didn't know why she had waited until now to try and get back to Thorin, the assassins had no leash on her and as to how she went about her life; she could've walked back at any point. But she knew deep down it was because of fear, fear of being rejected, fear of not being wanted, of not belonging. The same fear that had drove her to keeping the truth from him even though she so desperately wanted to scream all of it out to him at the top of her lungs.

She knew what was coming and what would eventually end this dream, and this time she wasn't running, she was going to stand against it and stare it down into the fiery pit they called hell.

Her forest surroundings began to bubble and burn away. Fire? Why was it always fire? Even the crystal conjured fire? It had to mean something.

The menacing voice from the first time called her name, it darks ominous tones resonated through her, _'I'm coming'_ it hissed through the cracking and hissing of the fire, as the flames surrounded and engulfed her.

"I'm ready!" she told it.

She felt heat swamp her but she made no attempt to flee. She stood; her eyes closed tight and accepted the fate the fire brought. She knew she would wake up soon and when she did everything would be different.

* * *

**AN: Here you go guys, another one! :) Hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it :) Just wanna say thanks for all those reviews, I really wasn't expecting so many so fast! This is me keeping my end of the bargain with a fast update :) As always guys, R&R and stay tuned for the next update :)**


	18. Chapter 18: New Beginnings

**AN: Hey guys sorry this took so long but I just had to make sure it wasn't as bad or confusing as the last one. And for any interested I went back and tried to clear things up in it, if it's still not up to scratch just tell me and I'll go back and try again :)**

**Anyway hope you enjoy this long chapter, as always please R&R, and if you have any questions or queries don't hesitate to PM me. **

* * *

**Chapter 18: New Beginnings**

Thorin watched as Oin checked her over for injury but it seemed there were none. Despite the fact that she had been pummelled and battered while saving his neck, and to add to that had fallen a good 15 feet and then was almost burnt alive, the fact that she was unscathed was quite astonishing.

"The crystal?" he asked Gandalf, the wizard replied with a shrug of the shoulders, as far as he knew the Reaver required a donation of life essence to actually work. So it was a mystery at the moment.

Oin laid her out straight on the grass; Kili offered his jacket as a head rest. She looked tormented in her unconscious state, she writhed restlessly unable to wake, and Oin had to get help holding her down before forcing a sleeping draught down her throat.

She calmed soon after, but her face still wore a mask of pain.

Thorin regarded her carefully. Though he had accepted it, he still couldn't believe that it was actually her. The way she had looked at him when he had called her name, there was an underlying sense relief and liberation, as if she'd been waiting for him to recognise her.

He cursed himself for not doing so earlier; he had suspected it since he first laid eyes on her back in the Ettenmoors. But back then it had seemed more foolish to think of than it did now.

As Oin finished up and moved on, Thorin kneeled beside her and placed his hand on her forehead. He stroked back her hair, as he had done when she was a child. Simply re-enacting the small ritual after decades of mourning was comforting, but it also felt foreign. He felt like he shouldn't be doing it, and that it was wrong, but deep down he knew it wasn't. It was the right thing to do for a long lost daughter, and one he now planned to never lose again.

He took up his own position not far from her, leaning against the trunk of a tree. He watched as the company began to set up a camp with what little resources they had been able to save and those they found through scavenging and hunting.

Though they were thoroughly exhausted they had just enough energy left to ensure they filled their stomachs.

Thorin noticed that his nephews remained oddly close to her; Kili especially was looking miserable and forlorn, as if he'd lost something precious to him. Thorin also took note of how possessive Kili had become of her, and so quickly too. So much so as to risk his own life for her.

He chuckled silently to himself, remembering a time when he would've been so possessive too. Kili was like him in more ways than just appearance it seemed and in some ways it worried him.

The day dragged on and soon they had a small campfire burning. Oin was nearing the end of his round and Thorin was not looking forward to being put to scrutiny. He dreaded the concept of being put in a position where he was shown to be weak and vulnerable, he was a king, and a weak king wasn't what they needed.

Oin approached him, a dull apologetic look in his eyes that said, _'please make this easy, it has to be done'_

Thorin sat with back against a large tree, it was the only way he found comfortable with his injuries. He had tried to make it seem like he was in a fit state but he was fooling no one. He sat resolute and unmoving, he didn't want the help.

"Come on Thorin, I need to check you!" sighed the old apothecary, when the he refused.

Some of the others joined him in his plight to persuade him otherwise. They presented countless arguments to him but each time he refused. It wasn't until a soft but confident female voice entered the fray that he began to see reason.

* * *

Kili sat right beside her, nibbling on some food he had found in her bag. He wasn't entirely sure what it was, it looked like bread and tasted just the same too but it was flat and wasn't as dry. He shared some of it out among those not busy with scavenging. He knew she wouldn't appreciate the fact that he'd been snooping but they needed something to eat and he knew for a fact that she had some.

While rummaging in her bag he found an old ragged notebook. He showed Fili who suggested they could look though it but it was Bilbo who deterred them, snatching the book from their clutches the hobbit stuffed it in his own pocket.

"That isn't for you to read!" He told them, like a mother scolding her child, "I don't think she'd want you to either!" He finished before he carried on assisting in the preparation of the small rabbits they had caught not long ago.

The brothers moaned, and had begun to plead with him, explaining they'd only look at the first few pages but realising it was useless they stopped.

Upon removing his coat and shirt, the full extent of Kili's own injuries became known. The head of the goblins whip had been harsh on his once unmarked flesh, and the cuts on his back were deep in places and still oozed blood.

He sat in displeasure, topless and tensed, as Fili cleaned the lacerations and stopped any bleeding. Luckily for him they had already begun to scab over and there was no sign of infection.

He had sat impatiently, while his brother worked on his wounds, staring at the unconscious form of Braerka. It felt a little strange to him thinking of her as 'Braerka', but he would get used to it, he had no choice in the matter.

Looking at her sleeping was somewhat relaxing to him, knowing she was safe and alive was all that mattered to him at that moment. His own welfare hadn't even come into consideration until his uncle had insisted upon it. He flinched as Fili rubbed over a particularly tender area on his back.

"Ouch! Be careful!" he sniped at his brother.

"Don't be such a baby!" Fili sniped back.

Kili sighed, he knew his brother was trying and he understood that healing wasn't his area of expertise, and there was nothing he could do. Oin was busy and being on edge as he was Kili couldn't help but fidget.

Now that he knew how much he longed for her and how much he needed her, regardless of who or what she was, he was not going to allow her ignore him or his questions. He wanted or rather needed answers, they all did.

When she had be consumed by the flames he had thought her a goner, and also finally understood her concern for him over holding it. Her scream had pierced him like a knife and he had immediately run to her aid.

She had come out of it alive and unharmed and no-one, not even Gandalf was able to offer any explanation.

While they had set up camp Kili had made sure he got some information about her.

* * *

"Who is she uncle?" he asked Thorin as the others began to set up a small camp with what they could find.

Thorin had sighed, "It is not my place to tell you that is up to her!"

"Please, just tell me something! Who is she…? Who is she to you?" Kili pleaded, trying not to sound as desperate as he was.

Thorin had once again exhaled as he walked and the question was put to him.

"She is, in a manner of speaking, my daughter…" he answered matter-of-factly. Kili couldn't help but react with disbelief.

"Your daughter?! How?" Kili exclaimed.

"I adopted her after the taking of Erebor...then I lost her…" Thorin went on calmly, an air of nostalgia hung in his voice.

"But that's impossible! That would make her over 170 years old! At least!"

"I know Kili!" Thorin sighed.

"But how?"

"I don't know Kili!" Thorin said harshly, his voice rising in volume with every word he spoke. He calmed himself before continuing, "Look Kili, you are hurt, tend to your wounds. When she wakes we can all find out together ok?"

Kili had looked at his uncle with confusion; he was being very calm about all of this, more calm than he would have expected anyway. Why had he never mentioned her before? Why had he kept her a secret?

He had reluctantly agreed to his uncle's terms, questions still burning in his head and now he was impatiently waiting for her to wake.

* * *

When he was finished with his brother, Fili pulled his pipe out of his pocket; luckily it hadn't been too badly scraped in their skirmish. He lit the last of his pipeweed and smoked. The sweet scent and essence filled his lungs and finally, after days of intense action, he relaxed.

He sat and watched as Kili moved closer to... Shepherd, Braerka? He didn't know what to call her now, but nonetheless Kili did move very close. He watched as his brother leaned his head over hers and began gently stroking her cheek.

He softly brushed away a few stray strands of hair, neatly tucking them behind her ear. He looked content just sitting there, with her lying beside him. They may not have been doing anything but Fili envied him.

Kili had never been one to move forward on a woman, it was usually them lusting after him. Kili was more of a fun-time kind of guy; he preferred a good drink and a lot of dancing to the comforts of a woman.

Although Fili himself had initially wanted to court her he saw now that Kili was totally taken with her and from the way she acted around him the same could be said for her. He had once believed himself in with a chance of winning her heart but he had played it wrong and practically handed her straight into Kili's arms. They shared a bond now; she had risked her own neck for him back in the goblins hollow. Fili wondered if she would have done it regardless of who they'd picked.

_'Ah well,'_ he thought disregarding the past and looking to the future. He took another long breath of smoke, _'plenty more fish in the sea…'_

* * *

Kili looked up abruptly as raised voices started from across the camp. They were trying to persuade Thorin to allow Oin to check his wounds.

"Good luck with that!" He mumbled to himself, _'he's a stubborn old dwarf!'_ He finished in his head.

Kili knew his uncle would never willingly accept help; he was far too headstrong and stubborn to do so. He would suffer in silence if it meant his pride and dignity endured just that little bit longer.

Fili gave him a concerned look, one that said, _'here we go!'_, and then rolled his eyes. The voices of the elders and Thorin's soon began to get louder and louder. Kili shifted to his brother's side.

"Should we do something?" Kili asked him.

Fili regarded the squabble briefly before answering, "Umm...No... I think its best we not get involved... Just this once"

Kili nodded and then turned his attention back to Braerka. She was beginning to stir from her sleep, or perhaps Oin's sleeping draught had lost effect.

He leaned over her again as he did before. He watched as her head turned from side to side as though she was trying to escape from something. A nightmare maybe? He tried to wake her but to no avail, she kept tossing.

"Fili help me!" He called to his brother; Fili came quickly to his side at the urging.

"What do you expect me to do?!" He hissed at him. Kili glared back at him.

"You're the oldest you should know!" Kili hissed back.

"Oh I'm sorry! I forgot to apply to the training course of 'How to Wake Women from Tormented Slumber!'" he spat, suppressing the urge to shout and keeping his voice to a low whisper.

Kili looked at him with a wild and bemused look before successfully suppressing his urge burst out laughing. He looked down at her, a light sheen of sweat was beginning to form on her skin, and small beads began rolling down her temples and the dirt that spoiled her once pale flesh began to smear.

Kili sighed roughly and then took a long, deep breath; allowing himself time to think.

He had come on this quest to prove himself to his uncle, to his brother, to everyone and especially himself. He knew that right now was not the time for messing and knew he had to act sensibly. He thought for a short moment.

"Get Oin..." He told Fili, taking control of the situation. His brother smirked at his quick and well thought out conclusion to the situation.

"Right!" Fili said, getting up and approaching the bickering crowd surrounding Thorin.

Kili returned his gaze to her. He wanted so desperately to wake her, if only to save her from whatever it was that plagued her dreams. He wanted to hold her tightly in his arms he... He stopped himself, right now he needed to focus on just getting her awake, he could dream about that stuff when calmer times came.

Looking up impatiently to his brother, Kili saw that Fili was having no luck being heard over the squabble. Kili could hear him perfectly from his position but those encircling Thorin didn't seem to want to hear him, their king came first.

It was then that Bilbo appeared at his side, "Here, splash her with some water that's bound to wake her!" He suggested handing Kili a water-skin.

Kili quickly accepted, thinking it a brilliant idea, and dribbled some of the liquid down her face.

"No more than that! She's not a plant!" Bilbo urged. Kili looked at him; he didn't want her to wake soaked and angry.

"You do it then!" He said shoving the water-skin back into the hobbits hands. Kili could've sworn he heard him mumble something crude, but he ignored it as the hobbit took the skin none the less.

Bilbo must have poured about half the contents onto her and still she didn't wake.

"It's not working!" Kili sighed, massaging his temples.

"I can see that!" The hobbit muttered.

It was then that Fili came running over, having been ignored for too long. He came bearing a bright idea look on his face.

"What?!" Kili asked him suspicious of this look. It usually meant something bad or incredibly clever was about to happen.

"Kiss her!"

"Wait...hold on! What?!" Kili almost screamed.

"Kiss her!" Fili repeated.

"Oh... Yeah kiss her! That might work!" Bilbo agreed.

'_They can't be serious!'_ Kili thought, how would a kiss wake her up, he stared blankly between the two of them, shaking his head.

"Look, just kiss her! You'll make it harder for her to breathe then she'll wake up gasping for air! Easy!" Fili explained.

"If it's so easy you do it!" Kili spat back, _'Wait what am I saying if she ends up kissing him back then...'_ He had almost forgotten about their little wager on who she would kiss first, he was betting Fili had remembered too. But did that even apply now?

"Alright then..." Fili agreed, moving forward and into position, Kili then moved to stop him.

"No I'll do it" he said, Fili looked questioningly at him, before saying, "Too late"

Kili cursed himself, _'Idiot!'_

As one of his many traits the fact that he was so quick to relinquish responsibility was one of the worst. He hated the fact that he did it so often; right now he wished he had been strong enough to say to hell with it, it's my responsibility.

He watched anxiously as Fili eagerly took his place and leaned over her restless form. Kili felt like something was being stolen from him, like it should be him; he couldn't help but wonder what her reaction would be.

Fili was so close now, just verging on touching her lips when *thud*, he was hastily retreating clutching at his forehead.

"OUCH!" Both he and Braerka cried in unison, as their heads connected. As Fili had moved in for the kiss she had woken with a start, darting upwards and knocking into him.

Kili and Bilbo couldn't help but laugh and Kili suddenly felt happy that his brother had taken his place; the last thing he wanted was a head-butt.

Fili glared at him as if the whole thing had been planned and rubbed his head in an attempt to subdue the throbbing.

"Oh! My head!" Braerka moaned, also rubbing her forehead. "Fili?! What on earth were you doing?!"

"Trying to wake you up, you seemed restless, but in end you woke yourself!" Bilbo explained, still laughing slightly.

She looked at them with understanding in her eyes before rubbing them and then shaking her head.

"Wait... What happened?" She began to frantically search her person, "Where's my bag? The crystal?!"

Kili saw his chance to calm her. He opened his mouth to start but was beaten to it by Fili. He supressed a growl, Fili was always beating him to it.

"Relax! Your bag is right here, and Gandalf has the crystal, he decided to keep it safe in his person!" He told her, still half groaning, "Oh and we hope you don't mind but we took the last of your food!"

"You went through my bag?!" She asked, alarm in her tone.

"Only to find food, we were starving, what is it anyway?" Bilbo said.

"That's fine Bilbo" she smiled at him, "and its Lembas bread"

"What bread?" Asked Fili, a little lost and still recovering from his head trauma.

"Lembas, it's elvish, one bite is supposed to fill you!" She went on, sitting upright and checking herself.

"Not bad for elvish stuff!" He sniffed, moving back to his own spot. He lifted his pipe and relit the dying embers.

Kili watched as she lifted her bag and gave it a quick once over, her expression became alarmed once again, "My journal?" She said plainly.

Kili looked to Bilbo who didn't seem to ear her, "Bilbo!" He said nudging him with his elbow.

"Oh yes!" He began, becoming flustered and pulling it out if his pocket. "These two were going to peek but I made sure they didn't!"

He handed it back to her and she smiled warmly at him before swiftly flicking through the pages ensuring one folded piece of parchment was still present and slipping it into her bag.

"You still have that old thing!" He heard Dwalin input. He spun his head, how long had he been watching?

He was confused by her chuckle and accompanying nod, before he remembered that Dwalin must have known her too.

"Why? What it is?" He asked, he was so full of questions and he couldn't help himself.

"It's a journal you clot-head!" Dwalin said, knocking him gently on the back of the head, "Thorin gave it to her on her twelfth birthday, many many moons ago now!"

Kili took it all in, that journal probably held all, or most of the answers he sought; he should've tried harder to look through it.

'_No! Don't think that, you were right for not peeking, now you have an excuse to be alone with her!' _he thought. He believed his plan was fool-proof, but the outcome solely depended on her.

As he exited his mind he noticed she was staring right at him, a sly smirk on her lips. He smiled back at her before she laughed out loud, he then became confused.

"What?!" he asked, puzzled by her sudden amusement.

"Oh, nothing!" she answered, before rising to her knees.

Raised voices once again broke the peace of the moment. All heads turned to the spectacle.

"What's going on?" She asked, Kili made to answer but once again Fili beat him to it.

Fili quickly explained, "Thorin won't let Oin take check his wounds…"

"Fool" she mumbled, stretching and rising to her feet.

"You should talk some sense into him, he always listened to you" Dwalin told her.

No sooner had he finished when she began hurrying over to him, all the force of purpose and intention in her stride. Something told him this would be something to see.

* * *

As much a she would've loved to just let the others deal with Thorin, Braerka knew that Dwalin was right. It would be over a lot faster if she intervened. She speedily walked over and pushed through the crowd.

"This will be a whole lot easier if you just let them help you!" she said, just loud enough to be heard.

Everyone stopped and stared, Thorin almost automatically surrendered when she appeared.

"You're awake, we need to talk!" He said in response, surprise fading from his tone.

"Not until Oin has checked you!" she told him sternly, he was trying to change the subject and she was having none of it.

"I do not need..."

She cut him off, "Yes… yes you do! Let them help you! You're hurt and you need it!"

"I do not want..."

She cut him off again, "It matters not whether you want it! You need it!"

She sighed a moment before continuing, how was she going to finish this. She thought for a short moment, before continuing.

"What sort of king refuses the help he is offered in his hour of need? Hmm? Tell me! What sort of king does that?!"

There was silence for a few seconds before Thorin nodded in defeat accepting her argument. "Fine… but we still need to speak!"

She nodded and backed off a few steps. She knew that referencing his leadership would break his resolve and it had paid off. Oin to move forward to begin his work, Thorin's eyes never left her and hers never left him.

"You really haven't changed much, have you?" he asked her.

"Only as much or as little as you believe I have!"

* * *

After the encounter Thorin had allowed the apothecary to look him over. His wounds hadn't been as bad as they first thought but they were worse than they should have been.

He hissed and cursed as Oin cleaned them out, being as gentle as he could. Luckily none of the wounds were deep enough to need cauterised, that would have been the worst case scenario, not only would it have hurt but it would have impaired his movement for even longer.

After Oin had finished with him Thorin chose not to put his armour back on, he thought it better to let his skin breath if only for a short while.

He watched her from across the camp. She sat nibbling on her share of the food they'd obtained. Looking at her now, it was like she'd never left, as if she always been there but only a few steps behind. He listened to her speak to the others, she was evasive of their questions and make short work of avoiding them.

"Where is Gandalf?" she asked after a while of scanning the camp.

"He left a while ago, was talking about a friend that lives somewhere nearby, said he would try and get him to let us stay with him for a while until we've recovered… he should be back soon, hopefully" explained Ori pointing in the general direction the wizard had went.

Thorin watched as she processed his words, he imagined she was loathing all this attention, as he recalled she was always a little shy and preferred to be alone or with small groups. Now though she didn't seem to mind the small group that had formed around her, or maybe she had just gotten skilled at hiding her discomfort.

He watched her finish up; she looked a little annoyed and still somewhat exhausted despite how long she'd slept. She at rubbed her face and did so again in response to all the muck she removed in doing so.

"If you would like to clean yourself there is a small river nearby!" he called to her.

She looked up to him and he pointed to where it lay. She then stood and walked towards it.

"Thank you…" she said as she passed him. Thorin smiled as she did, but quickly regained his composure one she'd gone, returning to his serious leader appearance.

He watched as his youngest nephew stood and began to follow her.

"Where are you going?" he asked him.

"To make sure she actually makes it to the river, you know in case she can't find it…" Kili explained.

Thorin regarded him coolly. He knew that wasn't the only reason he was going, he also knew that what he was going to do would happen sooner or later and that he wouldn't be able to stop it, so he waved him on.

Thorin laughed into himself as Kili eagerly gave chase.

* * *

Braerka hadn't been walking for very long when she heard Kili shouting after her. She sighed somewhat annoyed.

"Can't I have some peace?!" She asked quickening her pace, as the sound of flowing water became louder.

"Why are you in such a hurry?" he asked speeding up to catch her.

"I haven't washed in days Kili! I can almost feel my skin crawling!" she said matter of factly.

Kili hastened to a sprint placing himself at her side and walked with her the rest of the way.

When they reach the river bank Braerka couldn't help but almost throw herself into the water. She pulled her coat off herself setting it to the side along with her bag. She knelt at the bank and took as much water in her cupped hands as possible. She splashed her face and repeated the motion several times.

All the while she felt his eyes watching her. She stood and turned to observe him, he stood calmly, his tunic partly untied and hanging loosely from his form.

"What?" She almost hissed at him, she didn't know why but she felt very angry and had since her ordeal with the crystal. Perhaps it was a side-effect?

"I just want to talk…" he pleaded, almost recoiling out of fear that she'd hit him.

"Okay then" she responded calmly, drying her face with her shirt sleeve.

He looked at her oddly as if he had anticipated a struggle.

She watched as his dark pools of sumptuous brown roll over her. He sighed lightly and hesitantly walked forward and placed a hand on her upper arm. He began softly stroking her as if to reassure her or to lull her into a secure state.

Braerka found the touch soothing and willingly succumbed to it. She wanted to move closer, but a nagging voice in her head made her brush him away.

He didn't seem discouraged though, he smiled as she did so.

'_What game is he playing?' _she thought, _'is he even playing one?'_

"You wanted to talk?" she questioned, confused that he hadn't actually said a word since she'd agreed.

He stood and regarded her, before speaking, "oh…um…yeah…ah…"

'_Oh shoot!'_ Kili thought, he'd come all this way to freeze, he didn't know where or how to start.

"Umm…thanks…for helping back there… you know with the goblins and all…I could've have totally handled it…but thanks…"he began, his voice kept catching and he wrung his hands together.

'_You are so adorable when you're nervous!'_ Braerka thought, noting his quirks.

"You so could not have handled that! I saved your ass fair and square!" she replied.

"Did not! I had the whole thing under control! I would've had their King begging for mercy within minutes!" he retorted, a smug smile on his face.

"Yeah it sure looked like!" she spat back, before playfully punching his upper arm.

"Ouch!" he cried, flinching as she did.

Braerka suddenly became serious remembering that the whip had probably claimed more than just his back.

"I am so sorry! I completely forgot!" she began rambling, ghosting her hands over where she'd hit, cautious as to not hurt him anymore.

"No, I'm fine…ouch… well it stings a bit…" he said, rubbing it gently.

"Take your shirt off!" she commanded him, his eyes widen in alarm.

"What?!"

"Shirt. Off. Now!" She repeated, and he became aware she was serious.

Reluctantly he removed his shirt then allowed her to sit him down on the water's edge. This was the last thing he'd expected to happen.

Braerka couldn't believe her eyes when she saw his back, although not many lashes had been felled, Kili's back hadn't faired so well. There were numerous scratch marks across his back and shoulders, and many bruises too. Some of them were large and had reopened.

She thought quickly and then tore a pocket off her coat, there were plenty more for her to use, losing one wouldn't hurt. She soaked it in the water and then placed it gently on his back.

"What are you doing?" he asked when the cold cloth met his skin, his muscles jumped in response to the cold liquid and he felt goose-bumps rise on him.

"You appear to have reopened some of your wounds, I'm cleaning them…" she said, her voice becoming softer and more seductive with every word. Or perhaps that was just Kili.

They sat in silence as she gently caressed his wounds, Kili made sure to enjoy every second regardless of how cold he was becoming. After a long while he broke the silence.

"Do you mind if I… if…?" he began but trailed off, it would be inappropriate to ask now and he didn't want to push her.

"If you… what?" asked Braerka, her tone becoming less calm. "If you're looking to ask questions, then I'm sorry but I don't feel ready yet…"

"But I only want to…" He sighed and swallowed deeply, "I only want to know you... The real you!"

"No, Kili, you don't. The real me would only frighten you!" She told him rising to her feet and wringing out the material and recalling the many cruel and also necessary things she'd done to survive. Kili also stood.

She turned to get her stuff, but he had anticipated her next move and was waiting, he took her by the waist and pulled her close to his chest. He was cold; she had her hands pressed flat to his chest, she could feel his heart racing beneath her palms.

"Kili…!" she cried, trying to remove herself from his grasp but he wasn't budging.

They stood parallel to each other, Kili trying to keep his cool and to control the burning lust he had for her and Braerka trying hard to ignore the longing inside her that just wanted to curl up in his arms and feel safe and oblivious to everything.

"Try me..." He whispered softly, his baritone voice resonated through her. Braerka found herself deliberately giving in, her subconscious screamed at her to run, to get as far away as possible before someone got hurt but his grip was firm and she couldn't move. They stood there for was seemed an eternity staring into each other's eyes.

Braerka wanted to tell him… to tell him everything but that could have adverse effects on what she was doing. Regardless of how much she wanted to share her turmoil's with another person she couldn't, so far only the journal lying in the bag by her side was the only thing she'd revealed it to.

Braerka opened her mouth to speak, her want to tell him overwhelming her enigmatic side, she had to tell someone that they were probably being chased by more than just orcs and bandits, the assassins were no doubt hot on her tail too. Her presence would bring a whirlwind of trouble down on them.

"Kili... I..." She bowed her head not daring to look him in the eyes. She couldn't tell him…not yet.

Kili took her chin between his fingers and pulled her head up to meet his gaze.

"Yes... Braerka?" He said softly. The way he said her name, each syllable rolled of his tongue so naturally, she felt like melting in his arms, but she shook herself from whatever trance she fallen into, convincing herself it wasn't right.

"I can't… not yet... but I will…just give me time to gather my thoughts " she told him truthfully. He frowned, but nodded in understanding and held her closer still.

He leaned in close to her; she felt his warm breath on her. She felt her heart begin to race; it felt like it was verging on bursting from her ribcage.

He then moved forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. Then looked rather embarrassed after doing so. She didn't know what to think her thoughts were a mess.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered, she didn't respond. When he began moving away she breathed one last deep breath, reached her hand to his cheek and pulled him in connecting her lips to his.

When they finally met there was a moment of nothingness and then there was sudden burst of tension and opposing forces as they kissed.

Braerka couldn't believe how easily she succumbed to his embrace. No lie this had been something she'd wanted for a while but now it was actually happening she couldn't believe it. She felt passion burn through her as his lips brushed harshly against hers, she was like putty in his hands, melting under the heat they created and it all ended too quickly.

It was brief and fleeting but had meant the world them both. Braerka relaxed completely and allowed herself to smile when they parted.

She then planted a much shorter more delicate kiss on his lips like a signature marking them as hers. Kili simply leaned his head against hers and stood in silence, a broad smile on his lips. She felt the scruff of his 'almost' beard rub roughly against her as he leaned on her and breathed.

There was an overwhelming burst of feeling within him, he felt alive, more alive than he'd ever felt in his entire life. He couldn't believe that something so small as kiss could send so much life buzzing through him. His desire to continue was fierce but he prevented himself from doing so, it was perfect as it was and he wouldn't allow himself to ruin it.

He savoured the moment, the silence and the solitude. He doubted they would ever get another moment like this alone together and he wanted to make it last.

He wanted to let her know how he felt, but he wasn't good with talking about how he felt, he was Kili, any action of his was worth more than a thousand words and anyone seeing this scene would easily translate it as the beginning of something.

"Braerka I…" he gasped, she put her fingers to his lips.

"Don't say anything!" she ordered him. He smiled and kissed her fingers.

They suddenly broke apart when a deep almost muffled chuckle sounded behind them. They both looked to see Gandalf, smiling broadly and watching contentedly.

"Oh please don't let me disturb you!" He muttered jokingly, seeing as they hadn't really been doing anything that bad.

Kili smiled at his bemusement and glanced at Braerka. She was recoiling back inside herself he could tell, her wondrous eyes that had been so open not seconds ago where clouded over by a blanket of judgment. He assumed she felt everyone was watching her now and was being careful of what she did or said in their company.

She coughed clearing her throat and scoffed at him, "The crystal! Hand it over!"

The wizard looked at her with stern eyes, "I think I should look after it for a while, at least until we understand it a bit more!"

Her eyes pleaded with him, "Please Gandalf!"

The wizard replied with a scorning look, she glared at him before angrily turning her back and gathering up her belongings. She sped back to the camp.

Gandalf stood for a moment and watched as she went. "Humph, now there's a pairing if ever I saw one!" He sighed.

Kili laughed in disbelief and began slipping his shirt back on. He lifted the cloth she had washed him with and pocketed it.

"You don't approve then?!" He questioned jokingly as they began back to camp at a much slower pace than she.

"It is not my approval you need to worry about, master Kili, your uncle may not want you to devote yourself to her, and for good reason!"

"Good reason? What reasons Gandalf? Tell me."

"She has been around much longer than most humans and carries many burdens that she should never have had to bear. Life has not been kind to her and she has risked everything to pursue this. It is folk who have nothing to lose that you need to watch closely." The wizard warned him.

Kili sighed roughly, why was everything so complicated and confusing when it came to Braerka? Why couldn't it be a simple yes or no question?

Kili still contented and in bliss from the event mere minutes ago, decided not to dwell on his words. But he did come to the conclusion that not knowing was going to be harder than he had anticipated.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it, next one will be up soon :) **

**KiliFanatic**


	19. Chapter 19: Beorn

**Chapter 19: Beorn**

Braerka forcefully calmed herself as she re-entered the camp. She indignantly tossed her coat and bag to the ground and slumped into a cross-legged position by a random tree; she tried hard to contain her annoyance at the wizard.

Gandalf had no right to keep the Reaver from her, she had been the one to find it, it was hers no-one else's. She stopped her train of thought there.

'_Why am I so angry? Why do I care who has the crystal, as long as no-one being burned alive, it's fine right?'_ she thought.

After what all it had done she wasn't sure she really wanted it anymore. It had seemed to her beyond all usefulness, there wasn't really appoint to owning it if didn't work right. Her subconscious clearly had others idea's about that theory.

'_You need it; you have to get it back, you….'_ Her thoughts were interrupted when an all too familiar and unmistakeable voice called to her.

"What's got you so riled?" she heard Thorin ask.

She felt her eyes dart angrily towards him; he hadn't moved an inch since she'd left.

"Nothing!" she replied abruptly and harshly. She suddenly registered just how childish and unlike herself she was being. Was this another side-effect of having owned the Reaver for soul long? Did it somehow have power over her mind? Was it making her crave it?

"There is clearly something! Did Kili say something?" Thorin continued.

"No, it's nothing he did…" she answered, smiling at the thought and noticing she'd become much less irritated by doing so, "…definitely nothing he did…"

Thorin sighed and leaned back against the tree. Braerka continued smiling recalling her moment with Kili, thinking of it relaxed her greatly and all was silent once more. She watched as everyone sat in quietly, some staring into the heart of the fire, others signing in Iglishmêk to ensure the privacy of their conversations.

She sighed and then realised she should alert them to who was coming, "Oh yeah…um… Gandalf's back…" she announced.

Suddenly, and almost instantaneously, everyone became more energetic and began to pull together their wares, confident that Gandalf had been successful.

"Finally!" exclaimed Dori, standing and stretching his stiffened limbs, "Took him long enough!"

Braerka smiled at his comment, he really didn't put much stock in the wizard.

She looked up as both Gandalf and Kili entered the camp; they walked at a leisurely pace. She noticed Gandalf wore a serious, almost grave look; his cheerful mood had been quick to go. Kili however looked content and at peace; she didn't have to guess why.

They split as they entered the camp, Gandalf approaching Thorin and Kili moving towards her.

Kili took a seat on the grass at her side; he looked directly at her and smiled. She smiled back before turning to observe Thorin and Gandalf.

"Why are you so happy?" she heard Fili whisper to him.

"Oh… nothing… just…you know glad to be alive…" he answered, discretely winking at her when she glanced in their direction.

It was nice to see him smile; she loved it when he smiled.

* * *

Thorin sorely forced himself to his feet to greet the wizard as he approached.

"So did you find this friend of yours?" he asked earnestly, more reserved and less commanding that usual.

Gandalf cocked a brow, wondering why Thorin had decided to be so sincere. He assumed it was down to something that Oin had given him.

"Yes… in fact I did, and he said we are more than welcome to stay with him for a while. If we are quick we can make it before dark…" the wizard went on to say.

"What friend is this?" interrupted Bilbo.

Gandalf sighed_, 'had he not been listening earlier?'_ He then recalled how tired the hobbit had been and also how he had almost instantly fallen asleep when they'd settled.

"His name is Beorn, he is a skin-changer, and he is most welcoming of our company… though now that I think of it I may not have stated our number…hmm…" he explained calmly, mumbling the latter into himself.

"A skin-changer? Is that like a furrier?" Bilbo asked.

"No! No…nothing at all like a furrier! And don't ever let him hear you mention them. He is a shape-shifter, Master Baggins; he lives off the land and the forests and lives a rather solitary life among animals." He explained, ensuring Bilbo would have an almost complete understanding of where he was going and who they'd be with.

By now the dwarves had more than fully packed their abysmal excuse of a camp, and were eager and ready to go. The quicker they reached this persons home, the sooner they'd be by the heat of a fire and then later, hopefully, in a comfortable bed.

The same, however, could not be said for Braerka who seemed to be trying to phase out of existence. She sat, like a child would, her knees pulled in tight against her chest. She played with a blade of grass and looked forlornly at the ground.

He watched as Kili tried to coax her into action but she was miles away.

The wizard then looked to Thorin who was hurriedly, and awkwardly, slipping into his heavy armour. He caught the wizard's eye and became a little concerned by his expression, before he moved to put Braerka into his line of vision.

Gandalf watched again as Thorin finished buckling up his overcoat and then strode over to her side.

* * *

Thorin moved quickly and was soon looking down on her crouched form. He kneeled down beside her, she didn't react. She only continued staring into space, her face blank.

"Ahem!" he cleared his throat; she jumped in alarm.

"Don't do that!" she hissed at him, Thorin couldn't help but laugh.

"Do what?" he asked

"Sneak up on me!"

"There was no sneaking involved, I assure you!" he told her, still smiling.

"Of course you'd say that!" she remarked, returning his smile.

"Are you alright?" he then asked gauchely, recalling why he'd come over in the first place. He had never been one to concern himself with another's welfare to the point where he felt the need to ask. It wasn't something people did for him either, but he thought that maybe, just this once, he would make an exception.

"I'm fine… was just thinking is all…" she replied. Her tone was despondent and distant. Something told him she still was.

"Hmm…" was his response, he took a quick look to the others who were now rearing to go. He turned back to her. "Come on…" he then said, offering his hand to her, she considered it before reluctantly accepting and allowing him to pull her to her feet.

Thorin then turned to Gandalf.

"Are we ready?" Gandalf asked him.

Thorin took one last look at his company; as far as he could tell they were as ready as they would ever be. He lingered on Braerka, until she nodded.

He cracked a weak smile and answered, "Yes I believe we are, lead the way"

Gandalf also smiled and then began back down the way he had come. The dwarves followed closely.

* * *

Braerka stood and watched as they all began trailing after the wizard. She lagged behind for a short while; trying to remove any trace of them having stayed there, but there wasn't much to dispose of and only so much she could remove. Their small fire had scorched the earth and try as she might there was no removing that.

She was concerned about who might be following and about how close they might actually be. She gave the place one last look; she spied something by the tree, Kili's coat. She grabbed it before jogging to catch up with the others.

When she did catch up she wasn't surprised to see a particular duo lagging at the back. She watched closely as Fili took his brother in a head-lock and ruffled his hair. She tried to suppress a smirk but it was hopeless, just looking at them could bring happiness into anyone's life, there was no fighting it.

Bilbo was a little ahead of them walking at his own pace and alone. She seized her chance and sped up to his side.

"Hey ya Bilbo…" she greeted him, he reacted as she had to Thorin's sudden appearance and she then realised why Thorin had laughed as he did. "Sorry…"

"No, it's quite alright, I was only thinking…" he responded.

"About anything in particular?" she asked, trying to sate her curiosity.

"No, nothing, just thinking…" he answered. She noticed his hand reflexively moved to his pocket. _'Strange' _she thought.

"So…" she began, "… the goblins caves were hectic right?"

"Yes they were…" he said, not even remotely trying to engage in the conversation.

"Lucky we got out in one piece!"

"Yes" he answered. Braerka didn't like his short non-answers.

'_Perhaps he's still tired…'_ she considered, no that wasn't possible, they should all be well-rested by this point, shouldn't they?

"You disappeared for a long while down there! Did you find anything interesting?" she asked, recalling her bewildering encounter with the creature on her way out.

"Nope, just a lot of winding tunnels… and the way out eventually" he joked.

"You sure that was all, nothing else, nothing 'precious' possibly?" she pressed him, quoting what the creature had claimed he'd stolen.

She watched him closely, he had become even more protective covering his pocket with his overcoat.

"No, nothing at all." He replied, with a 'that is that' tone.

Although she wasn't satisfied with his secrecy, she wasn't going to push him. He had all right to withhold the information from her; after all she'd done the same. She believed she understood why he wanted to keep to himself.

"Alright, alright!" she said, raising her arms in defeat, "Was just wondering, you seem a little…I don't know… shaken."

"I assure you I am very much alright, thank you for your concern" he replied, noticeably increasing his pace.

She left it at that, perhaps he really still was tired, and maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe she had just imagined the strange creature by the exit, maybe it had been an induced illusion from her exhaustion.

However unconvinced she was by her own conclusion she wasn't going to try any more. She fell back slowly, becoming rather tired herself; she perked up when she heard Kili curse.

"What's wrong?" she shouted back to him.

"I forgot my coat!" he called back.

She spun on the spot and began walking backwards. "No you didn't!" she told him waving it at him. He smiled and sped up to her side, Fili followed. She handed it over to him and then returned to face forward. By the time she had done so, he had the coat on and was looking all the warmer for it.

Fili regarded the two of them closely, "So… what did yas talk about by the river?"

Both she and Kili looked to each other, should they tell him. Kili gave her a look that said no.

"Just stuff Fili…" she answered him, smirking slightly once again remembering the experience and the pleasing sensation that came with it.

"Stuff?" Fili repeated, looking less than convinced, "Did you even talk I wonder?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kili snapped.

"You, brother, looked a little too happy to have come back from just a 'talk'!" Fili told him, expressing inverted commas and all.

Kili then looked to Braerka; she shrugged her shoulders, if Fili had figured it out from only Kili's expression, then he was brighter than she gave him credit for.

"Did you…you know?" he asked Kili.

"Did we what?!" Kili and Braerka asked in unison.

"Oh Mahal! You did!" Fili concluded, playfully digging Kili in the arm. Kili as before flinched but didn't make as big a fuss about it.

"Did what?" Kili asked again, just to be sure they were on the same page.

"You kissed her!" he whispered so the others wouldn't hear. "I gotta say I really did not expect it to happen so soon and with you!"

Fili then strode to Braerka's side and slung his arm over her shoulders. "You know you're his first, so go easy on him!" he whispered into her ear. She looked him up and down for a moment, why was he warning her? She would never do anything to hurt him, but then he wouldn't know that.

"What did you say? What did he say?" Kili asked him and then her. Braerka looked to Fili, who discretely shook his head.

"Oh…Just that he was jealous of you…" she lied, though it probably wasn't a lie. She knew Fili, maybe not as well as she would have liked, but he had definitely shown a keen interest in her and there was no doubt he was in actual fact envious.

He scoffed, "Jealous?! I am not jealous!"

"Oh yes you are! Don't deny it!" she said slipping out of his grip and moving to Kili's side. She slipped into his arms so easily, and looked back smugly at Fili. "You are so jealous…!"

He glared and shook his head at them. _'Yep definitely jealous!'_ she concluded.

"Would you youngsters keep up?!" she heard Balin called to them from up ahead, "And keep it down too, we don't want to attract any unwanted attention."

"I'm not jealous!" Fili hissed turning to move up.

They quickened their pace to get closer to the main group and then continued in silence. But Braerka was laughing silently all the way.

* * *

After a short while Braerka began to dawdle behind the others again, she kept her eyes and ears open, just waiting for someone or something to jump at her. For all of them the past few days had been one bad thing after the next, she didn't want to be caught off guard yet again.

She walked wistfully and deep in thought. She would need to be ready for when Thorin came asking and now seemed as good a time as any to get her thoughts straight. She thought long and hard about everything and tried desperately to recall every detail.

She recounted her conversation with the Goblin King. He had known so much about her, and all from The Black Eyes apparently. The only way they'd know that much was from someone who knew her, and since she didn't have many friends it wouldn't be too hard finding out who. Why they had given her up was a more pressing question.

Then there was Azog, he had known her name, this meant someone had told him too. But who on earth would consort with the likes of him? She considered it all for a moment; it made very little sense to her. And then there were the assassins, but that was a whole other problem that she didn't even want to think about right now.

She looked up to where Thorin was; everyone seemed to want him dead. She understood that as an important figure he would have enemies but the fact that everyone had chosen to have him killed at the same time was just too much of a coincidence. She didn't know how or why but somehow this quest of his was connected to it.

Not long later they came to a halt. They moved up and huddled in a group around Gandalf. Looking up she saw a hill, there were pathways scattered up it sides, worked into it by decades of travellers. Thick bushes and small trees speckled the hillside. She assumed they were close.

"Now…"Gandalf began turning to face them. "…I believe it best if we introduce ourselves two at a time, yes, Bilbo! You and I shall go first…"

Bilbo walked promptly to his side and followed as he led the way.

"The next pair should follow in about five minutes or so, Bombur you go last!" he called back to them.

Bombur sent the wizard a glare which showed just how hurt he was by the statement. She couldn't help but feel for him.

They stood in silence and watched as Gandalf and Bilbo disappeared over the top of the hill, and continued in silence after. She stood impatiently wishing time would go faster or rather didn't exist. She was suddenly feeling the full effect of all her recent endeavours even if the marks they'd left were no longer present.

Her legged ached, her ribs ached, her whole body just ached, after a while she sighed and sat down, too exhausted to remain standing.

* * *

About five minutes passed. Thorin had spent the whole time watching Braerka closely. As each second passed she became more and more pale, as if she was catching a fever. He moved to start up the hill, but made sure to bring her.

"Come with me…" he told her, it was more of a demand than a request; he had made sure his tone had expressed that. But she, with her stubborn nature, refused him.

He was taken aback, almost no-one defied him, and the only ones foolish enough to do so willingly were his nephews.

"You don't have a choice, come… now!" he said, the first signs of anger filtering through his tone.

His angered expression had won her over; the others had given her pleading glances which were just unnerving enough to make her move. She stood quickly and then sped on ahead of him, not saying anything or even allowing him to catch up.

He did catch up though; her angered and brisk pace had all but faded moments after she had set off.

He examined her; she was as lost in her thoughts now as she had been when he first found her all those years ago. Back then it had been easy to comfort her, he had been young and uncaring of how he held himself around others, and she had only been a child, all the comforting she needed was a hug.

Now it was different, a hug surely wouldn't right everything but it might just make her feel better, but when to implement it, he had no idea.

"So what happened exactly?" he asked after a while.

"What happened when?" she asked back.

"When you… went missing" he responded recalling the less than welcome memory.

"I fell down an old mineshaft, half-drowned when it rained and was rescued just in the nick of time by a stranger." She explained in a brief and to-the-point fashion. She had decided he didn't need to know every detail about it, and especially not the involvement of the assassin's. That could come later, much later.

Thorin nodded, and then sighed "I'm sorry"

"What for?" she questioned him. He had nothing to be sorry for, it had been her fault she ended up where she did.

"For putting you forward in the first place, for not trying harder to find you…" he went on, she looked at him, he looked genuinely regretful of how it had all played out.

"What's done is done, Thorin, leave it in the past where it belongs. Forget about it" She told him, her voice soft in an attempt to console him.

He regarded her closely, before half-scoffing. He knew for a fact that was not how she truly felt about the matter. It was one thing she had noticed about her, she could well be the world's best liar if wasn't for the almost well hidden smirk on her face. It was the only thing that gave her away.

"What?" she asked him.

"You don't have lie…"

She furrowed her brow in response, "What makes you think I'm lying?"

"That look, you always made it when you lied to me about something."

She laughed and smirked again. She then shook her head and brushed her hair back behind her ear.

"Come on… we're almost there…" she said, and they returned to quiet as they reached the top of the hill.

* * *

They came over the top of the hill, and stopped their way blocked by a tightly packed row of trees.

_'Now where?!'_ He thought, cursing the wizard for not at least leaving them a sign.

He was about to turn back when Braerka stormed the trees and passed through their compacted branches with ease. He followed doing the same; he walked through a very well concealed, and small, gate. He made sure to make it easier for the others to see.

On the other side there was a large house with a long hall stretching out of the east wall. There were rows of vegetables growing in the earth, lots of beehives and many animals roaming freely. They all stopped and inspected the newcomers with wary eyes before returning to graze off the grass.

Slowly they both walked to the door, a warming glow emanated from the windows, this place appeared more than welcoming.

He sighed approaching the door, "We will speak more when you are ready..."

She looked at him in disbelief; it was an uncommon thing that he would be patient for anyone, especially a woman. The fact that he had done so for her sake was comforting.

He stepped forward and knocked the door three times.

_*knock* *knock* *knock*_

There was silence both inside and outside the house. They waited impatiently before the unbolting of locks on the other side of the door sounded, it opened a crack and then some more, and a very tall burly man stepped into the doorway.

He was gigantic; Braerka felt like a hobbit next to him and then wondered how Bilbo had felt. He stood at least seven foot tall and had a great long brown beard, kept neat and in place by an iron clasp with the seal of a great bear on it. She remembered Gandalf saying this man was a shape-shifter, perhaps a bear was his form.

The man stood waiting for something, when he did speak, his voice was unnaturally soft, and even so it was a very deep bass tone which caused made her feel very calm, very quickly.

"Yes?" He questioned in his deep tones, staring down on them from above with his almost pitch-black eyes.

"I am Thorin son of Thrain, and this is Braerka Arkensan. We are friends of Gandalf the Grey and he told us to meet him here" Thorin announced dutifully.

The man, reseeded back into his house half closing the door, he could hear his low tones through it.

"You still remember my surname?!" she remarked, amazed by his memory.

He nodded, and replied "How could I forget?!"

She smiled broadly at his last comment.

The tall man then came back and nodded, he was smiling.

"Yes of course you are! Please, come in!" He said cheerfully, stepping aside and pushing the door open fully, "I am Beorn, welcome!"

They both walked in, and stared in wonderment at the place, it had seemed a lot more modest from the outside, inside there seemed to be endless space filled with oversized furnishing to match his stature. The walls were decorated with tapestries dyed a deep crimson bearing the same Bear seal as on his clasp among other things.

There was a blazing fire, a large armchair beside it, and two people sitting near it, it was Bilbo and Gandalf. The wizard motioned them to join them, and they did, pulling up chairs of their own.

Beorn soon joined then with plates of sweet bread and honey, home made from ingredients of his on land.

They sat and ate as Gandalf continued his tale of how they came to be where they were. As he did the others joined them, Dwalin and Balin, closely followed by Oin and Gloin, then Fili and Kili, Dori and Nori, then Bifur, Bofur and last but not least Ori and Bombur.

As each pair joined the hall became more filled and Beorn didn't seem to mind or even notice. They each sat in silence eating their fill and listening to Gandalf recount their journey, until it came when the story had caught up to the present and silence reigned.

"That is an interesting tale you tell! But how do I know it is true?" Beorn scoffed in disbelief, though he couldn't discredit the whole thing for there they all were sitting in his house, looking quite disgruntled and worn-out. He furrowed his brow and considered them.

"Come you must be tired!" He began again, "Let me show you a place for you all to rest your heads!"

With that they followed him, deeper into his humble abode. He brought them through what could have only been the large hall, but it was in fact larger than it had appeared from the outside. Along the side were other smaller rooms, Beorn left them all off one of the larger ones and had his well-trained animal friends bring them blankets and pillows.

"Sleep well my friends, do not wander and whatever you do not leave this hall!" Beorn warned them before leaving them to it.

Braerka was grateful for the soft blankets and the roof over her head. But she couldn't help but wonder why they should have to remain inside and why any of them would even think to leave it before dawn.

She removed her coat, jerkin and boots and then laid her head down on the soft pillow and pulled a blanket up and over her shoulders. She closed her eyes and almost immediately fell asleep. She thought over everything one last time and then lifted her bag. She rummaged through it and removed the journal, the contract hidden well between it pages. She discretely stuffed it into one of her boots, to ensure no-one would find it. She chucked her coat over her boots and then rolled over.

She wasn't surprised to see Kili there, his back to her, laying out his own blankets. She smiled and rolled over again. She again closed her eyes and hoped that this night would be of dreamless sleep.

* * *

**AN: here you go guys, decided to keep this one fairly short, to mix up the chapter lengths a bit. As always R&R, hope you enjoyed. Any questions, queries or theories please PM me :) Next one will be up soon. **


	20. Chapter 20: Lessons

**Chapter 20: Lessons **

Braerka woke with a start; it was still dark. Moonlight dotted the room and produced an eerie ambiance. She rubbed her eyes and groaned quietly, then finally remembered where she was and why she had woken. The wild flames had once again consumed her mind and had forced her to wake. Why wouldn't it just go away? And why was it always the same?

She allowed herself to fully come to her senses before trying to sit up. When she did she found herself held back by something or in this case someone. She looked down to see an arm wrapped loosely around her waist. She followed its length to its owner. She smiled upon seeing Kili's head buried deep into her back, the rest of him splayed out in a mess.

She silently sniggered to herself, and not wanting to wake him lay her head back down on the soft feather pillow.

She rolled over to go back to sleep when it sounded, a deep growling snarl, from outside. She lay there unsure of what to do. Beorn had told them to stay put and she had planned to but this… this was too intriguing to pass up.

She gently removed Kili's arm and got up, not bothering to put on her boots, and tiptoed over to the door. She nudged it open slowly and it creaked loudly as it did, she cringed looking back to see if anyone had stirred. Kili groaned slightly and then rolled over to his other side. Thankfully he, and no-one else, had woken. She squeezed through the crack in the door and breathed a little lighter.

She regarded the whole length of the hall. In the deep glow of the candle's that lit the walls she could see they too bore tapestries, much like those in his main room. They depicted ancient battles of what looked to be wild animals, a large bear at the heart of each. She looked past them towards the windows on the opposite wall on hearing the growling again.

She slouched over and quickly darted down the hall back the way Beorn had led them.

When she reached the door she tried to open it, shaking the handle roughly.

_'Locked!'_ She silently remarked, still trying to pry it open.

Beorn had clearly done it as a precaution not really trusting them to heed his word and stay put and he had good reason to, Braerka was up trying to do exactly what he'd told them not to.

She then heard the door she had left open creak. She reflexively pressed herself against the wall, knowing full well it was one of the company, but not wanting to be caught out of bed or trying to leave; she relaxed when his voice echo down the hall.

"Braerka?" Kili questioned the dark. He rubbed his eyes as they focused in the dim candle light and slowly made his way up to her. She kept quiet and silently snuck up the hall to his side, keeping as flat as she could to the wall. She easily slipped behind him in his tired state and then moved to blindfold him with her hands in a 'guess who' manner.

Surprisingly he was somehow ready for it. He countered her action and had her floored in seconds. She really hadn't expected this, but now she was on the floor, with him hovering over her, it all looked a little bit more exciting than she had intended.

He was breathing roughly from the sudden motion and looked a little guilt-ridden too, "Sorry… it's kind of a reflex…" he said, letting her down level onto the floor.

"Don't be." she replied, now knowing that she shouldn't have really tried it. She played with the strings that dangled down from his shirt. Their ends were worn and frayed small indications of the things it had been through with its owner.

She simply smiled at him then looked up the hall from her position on the floor. She saw a large shadow begin moving its way up the hall. It was coming from outside.

She speedily pushed him up and slammed him against the windowed wall.

"What are you….?" He said surprised, clearly assuming something else was going to happen before she told him to 'Shhh'.

She pressed herself to the wall beside him and crouched below the window pane. She breathed as silently as she could. Whatever it was it was very large and possibly angry by the sounds of it. It grunted with every heavy step it took and growled low at every other noise.

She poked her head up to the nearest window. She saw a great bear slowing making its way across the courtyard, she was unsure of its colour but she imagined it could only be a dark russet brown or black. It was much larger than any bear she had ever come across in her lifetime. It looked like it would be as tall as the house if it reared up.

"Whoa!" she heard Kili exclaim, she shushed him again.

Then suddenly something clicked in her mind. _'Could this be Beorn?!'_

It would explain the many bear carvings, drawings and seals all over his house and answer the question of what he shape-shifted into; and if it was it explained the reason he'd wanted them to stay indoors.

In this form he would be more of a threat and possibly not even be able to recognise friend from foe. It would be a bad day for anyone who crossed his path.

They both watched as the beast passed. Braerka had almost died when it saw her and leapt at the window, roaring loudly. She had ducked backwards for cover knowing it would be useless if the beast broke through the window but did it anyway. She felt Kili's arms protectively take hold of her. She could feel his heart thumping steadily in his chest; she was amazed at how calm it was.

The bear glared at them through the thin clear glass sheet with its small black beady eyes. It soon continued on his way before disappearing altogether.

Braerka stood up, moving from Kili's grip and moved to the window. She watched as it sped to a lumbering sprint and disappeared through the trees.

_'Wow...'_ She thought, she mentally noted that she would never get on Beorn's bad side.

"That's the biggest damn bear I've ever seen!" Kili gasped, joining her at the window.

"Yeah!" she agreed. Then discerning there was nothing more to be seen, she returned to the room and lay down once more. Kili closely followed.

She lay there for ages, unable to sleep her mind plague by questions and theories. She rolled onto her side to see Kili still wide awake and staring at her longingly.

"You should be asleep!" she whispered to him.

"So should you!" he replied, smiling back her more widely. She huffed like a child and moved to roll over to her other side. He stopped her however, stretching out his arm taking hold of her and pulling her in close.

He then gently ghosted his fingertips across her cheek and tucked her hair behind her ear. They lay in silence for a while, either too unsure or too scared to do anything.

Braerka peered into his deep brown orbs. They glistened like gems in the moonlight that poured in through the small window. She still didn't understand why but when she looked into his eyes she felt calmness wash over her, she felt safe too. It was like all he had to do was be there and things would return to normal.

But both their lives were anything but and would never truly be normal. Braerka didn't mind that, in fact she liked it. The excitement that came with unpredictability of her life was what she enjoyed, she loved the unexpected; in moderation of course.

It was the uncertainty of everything; the quest, whether she could die or not, what exactly the consequences of having owned the Reaver for so long were and what she would do if and when her enemies caught up with her. That's what was holding her back.

While she relished the mystery she lived in it was that mystery that was preventing her from sharing, from being herself, from telling the whole truth. She swiped those thoughts from her mind. Some way, or another, those issues would be solved and hopefully fast.

_'If it's meant to be it will be…'_ she reassured herself, hoping to Aule it was.

His hand all of a sudden became a little more adventurous, caressing her smooth curves all the way down to her hips. Her eyes never left his. Kili then untucked her shirt and made to move under it.

She stopped him there, quickly halting his hand's advance before it came into contact with her soft flesh.

"Nah-uh, now is not the time or the place for that!" She teased, placing his hand back on her waist but above her shirt.

"Aw! Come on it's just a bit of fun" He teased back, massaging her hips, "and they're sleeping! They won't know!"

"I'll know! So no, Kili!" She hissed at him, swatting his hand away.

He begrudgingly accepted it and rolled onto his back to stare at the bland ceiling rafters. She disliked the fact that he'd moved away and felt annoyance at herself for being so hasty in her argument.

She leaned into him and kissed his cheek in apology, she made to move back but he took hold of her wrist and pulled her in close again and began kissing her, roughly and passionately. He dotted them across her cheek moving to her soft plump lips which he desired to taste.

Unlike the first time, when he was tentative and timid, he was relentless and intense. He pressed harder against her and barely ever stopped for air. To her surprise she found this more tantalising and provocative than she could ever have imagined.

She pressed back with equal fervency and fisted her hand in his thick flowing hair. She melted into him and found it hard to pull away. She knew this was wrong, however right it may have felt. It took everything she had to hold back.

She felt herself succumbing to his every want, caving as his tongue brushed her lips begging for entrance, she allowed it.

Then someone across the room groaned and muttered something and as quickly as it had started it was over. They both pulled away from each other and regarded the one who had stirred. Ori had rolled over and whacked Dori in the face; Dori had then groaned and moved to get away muttering curses as he went.

They both giggled silently to themselves. She smiled at him and stared into his eyes, she hadn't noticed but Kili's hand had once again found its way under her shirt.

"You're freezing!" he quietly remarked upon touching her smooth ice-cold skin, pulling her closer still. He cradled her in a childlike manner and tried to warm her.

She welcomed the embrace and allowed him to pull his own blankets up and round her. She allowed herself to unwind completely in his hold; the heat emanating from him was soothing to her soul.

She closed her eyes and he held her tight, "Goodnight," he whispered, and then softly kissed her forehead. Moments later sleep claimed her and she slept in absolute harmony, breathing in time with the beat of his heart.

* * *

"Wake up! Come on sleepy head! You're gonna miss breakfast!" She heard. She groggily rolled over to see Ori, his hair still ruffled from sleep, looking as cheerful and content as ever.

"Breakfast?" She mumbled, still half asleep while rummaging about for her boots.

"Well actually it's more like brunch because we slept so much, but it's close enough!" He told her.

She sniggered and slipped one boot on and then moved to slip on the other, but something was blocking her foot. Then she remembered, she had put her notebook there. She sneakily slipped it out while yawning and told Ori to go on. He did so and she then proceeded to fix herself up.

As she slipped into her wears she recalled last night and how she had fallen asleep in Kili's arms. It was a nice experience one she noted that didn't involve nightmares. It was like he was a cure or anaesthetic.

'_Not a bad excuse for doing it more often…'_ she thought.

She suddenly became a little concerned, had anyone seen them? Not that she wouldn't mind if they did; it was just that she had never had anything like this before and would rather it be kept private between them. That way it would be more special.

She sighed and then pulled her jerkin over her shoulders losing belting it up. She ruffled her hair trying to get the worst of the tats out and found someone had added a new braid to her collection. It was hidden beneath her long locks and held together by a small metal clip.

"Kili…" she said aloud, grinning as she did. The small clasp he had used to bind it was one of his own; the brand on it was unmistakable.

She then quickly slipped her journal back into her bag and once again hid it beneath her coat. She then sped down the hallway, looking at the ground outside the window; there were huge lumbering tracks of the bear that had been there last night. She wondered if Beorn would remember seeing her.

She entered the small dinning/living area and saw it was alive with the noise of chatter and the clinking of cups and plates.

"Good morning!" cried Bofur cheerfully, as he noticed her, he passed her a plate. It held of more sweet bread and gooey golden honey they had consumed last night. She accepted it gratefully and then sat in the nearest seat and ate her fill.

She was safe enough to assume that everyone at least had an idea as to who she actually was now; none of them present questioned her or even tried to avoid her. They seemed rather calm about the whole thing. She liked that they had accepted it and not challenged her about it.

Thinking about it reminded her of the possible heart-to-heart she would have to have with Thorin soon. As much as she knew it had to be done, she wasn't looking forward to it. Yes it would get some issues out of the way but it was the suppressed anger she held for him that she was worried about.

What if he ended up trying to blame her for what happened, what if he just didn't want to listen? He was renowned for not listening. She just hoped that the apparent miracle of her returning would be enough to make him.

She searched the place assuming Beorn would be there, only he wasn't.

"Where's our host?!" She asked, munching on some of the bread.

"We've no idea! Gandalf said he left last night, to go where or why he doesn't know, and he hasn't yet returned..." explained Nori, eyeing up a particularly valuable looking candelabra.

"And where exactly is Gandalf?" She then asked, suddenly realising that a lot of them were missing, or rather not in the room.

"Outside, some of the others are too..." He continued distantly, somewhat entranced by the jewel encrusted arms of the candleholder.

She finished her plate and then sped out the door.

"Hit lower, parry! Not like that! Put some effort in! Focus lad!" she heard Dwalin yell. Grunting and the sound of metal on metal followed, along with some hefty laughter filled the air.

She walked around the side of Beorn's large residence. Now that there was some light she could see his garden in all its splendour. There were numerous breeds of flowers and of all colours too. The animals that had been there were gone, or hiding, and his bee farm was literally buzzing with life.

She walked around the next corner to bear witness to Dwalin and Kili, in one-on-one combat.

"Good morning, lassie" Dwalin greeted her effortlessly while he half-heartedly swung his hammer low.

"Morning…argh!" Kili called before getting floored by the older dwarf having let his guard down and not moving fast enough to dodge his tripping blow.

"Stay focused Kili! Goodness it's any wonder Thorin asked me to do this!" Dwalin sighed.

Kili quickly recovered himself and dusted himself off, giving her a ridiculous smile as she walked across the courtyard.

Braerka returned his smile and then stood watching as Dwalin turned back to him.

"I'm just a little tired is all!" Kili defended himself.

"You didn't sleep much last night did you?!" Fili jumped in, making sure to look both him and Braerka in the eyes.

Braerka rolled her eyes and shook her head; Fili just had to be awake last night. Plus he had chosen to make it known in a way that revealed it to everyone. The others really didn't need to know about them, it wasn't that important. But somehow she doubted they didn't already know.

'_And there's goes the privacy!'_ her mind drawled.

"Aye too busy with your lady friend!" scolded Balin, clearly not approving of their late night interactions or relations in general.

Braerka pretended not to hear their ramblings and inquired as to what was going on.

"So what's going on? Why exactly did Thorin want this?"

She hadn't noticed Thorin sitting not far from her on a wooden bench Gandalf beside him smoking his pipe. He was pouring over his map once again, and startled her when he answered.

"I requested this because back in those caves he almost got killed once or twice!"

"But I didn't uncle I'm fine..." Kili started to argue back.

"Your bow will not always be so useful, you're close quarters skills are less than what I had assumed them to be, and so you are getting what extra training we can manage..." Thorin explained.

She looked to Kili; he was stood cross armed and furious. In a way they both had valid arguments, Kili was skilled enough to survive, but anything extra would surely help.

"Why don't you train him?" She asked him with a challenging tone. "You trained me, and in my opinion I turned out pretty deadly." _'With some additional guidance from assassin's'_ she added subconsciously.

She noticed Thorin become softer at the mention of his success with her training even if it had been a brief time in his life. Balin however wasn't so taken with it.

"Lassie, if you called what you were doing the those orcs 'fighting in a deadly fashion' your sorely mistaken." He told her matter-of-factly.

"You're right Balin, that wasn't, but we were exhausted then, barely hanging on to life, at peak condition anyone trained by the one and only Thorin Oakenshield can kill anything!" she grinned at Thorin, while there was a good deal of exaggeration involved it was all she could think of doing to get him up and helping his nephew.

"But you can't fight very well!" exclaimed Balin in response to her claims.

Braerka was very irritated at this, while women may still be seen as stay-at-home figures, that cooked and cleaned, she wasn't anything like the common female. She had been trained by Thorin and conditioned by assassins. She was, if anything, a finely honed weapon.

"You've never seen me fight, not properly... You can't say that until you have." She argued back, a little crossly.

"Then show us some of your skills!" shouted Fili through cupped hands.

She smiled at the proposition. She would have loved to but she had no weapon.

"Trust me I would but... I don't have a sword" she told him apologetically.

She hadn't noticed Thorin had risen to his feet and walked over to her, a sword in hand.

"I believe I gave you this, use it." He commanded, handing over the broadsword he given her in the Troll Fells. She happily accepted and walked with him to where Kili and Dwalin had fought.

"Wait what just happened?!" Kili asked confused by the rapidly unfurling events. He was hastily dragged offside. "So am I still in training or what?"

"You Kili shall watch and learn!" announced Thorin, unsheathing his own sword.

"Wait! I can't fight you!" She exclaimed. She had assumed she would be fencing with Dwalin, or maybe even Kili to help teach him, but not Thorin.

"Yes you can! It's like you said, "anyone trained by me can kill anything", so in this case… try to kill me! Show them what I taught you…" He joked, enjoying the taste of her words as he used then against her.

She froze at the phrase, 'kill me', she hadn't expected that, and after all she'd went through to not kill him it was shocking to hear come from his mouth.

She shook her head, _'he's only saying that to beguile you, Brae, don't actually do it!'_ She told herself, afraid that she might actually end up fulfilling his orders.

She hadn't noticed the small group of spectators had grown to the full company and Gandalf was watching her closely his eyes serious and concerned.

However much she resented him for making her do this she knew to deny Thorin was madness and that he would get his way one way or another. Plus he might even an ulterior motive to wanting this.

She sighed, "Alright, but no promises!" she joked back, raising the sword and taking an offensive stance.

Thorin smiled and mirrored her stance. They stood for a short while motionless and silent.

"Ladies first!" Thorin growled, through gritted teeth annoyed she hadn't moved to strike him.

"Off you go then!" She spat back mocking him, and coaxing him to start. It worked.

Thorin swung Orcrist broadways across her chest. She lifted the broadsword up into its path, knocking it high and then gently moved forward and tapped Thorin's with the flat side of the blade.

"Hit!" cried Dwalin, who had elected himself referee and scorekeeper. He applauded her.

"Don't encourage her brother! That was just a lucky hit is all!" Balin scolded him, taking his future king and cousin's side.

Braerka couldn't help but scoff at Balin's remark in disbelief. She had just scored a point over Thorin in this game, all because of her skills; 'luck' had nothing to do with it.

"You have good form; you've always had good form…" Thorin complimented her.

She smiled again lost in the moment; Thorin rarely gave anyone compliments, when suddenly, he was rapidly bearing down on her again. She side-stepped his blow and dodged his hit. The crowd clapped her on, Kili was whooping and cheering.

"I hope you're learning from this mister!" she warned him, pointing him out with her sword. She didn't want him only watching and not learning.

"Why will YOU punish me if I don't?!" he quipped challenging her.

"Don't think I won't!" she told him harshly, winking as she did.

She heard someone scoff and out of the corner of her eye she saw Fili making a fake disgusted face. _'Not jealous my ass!'_ she thought, witnessing the clear display of resentment.

Thorin turned to her and glared, _'Wow he is taking this pretty seriously!'_

"So you finally learned to dodge did you?!" he remarked, recalling at time when she would run head-first into battle not giving a moment's thought to evasive manoeuvres.

"Yeah, I found it useful when it came to surviving when I was on my own!" she called back to him. She raised the broadsword once again and took a defensive stance. "You've not learned any new tricks! All the same as before! You're completely predictable!"

He smiled falsely at her words, and she suddenly regretted them. She may not have been around the past 171 years but she had no doubt that he had plenty of new tricks up his sleeve. She regarded him closely as he too took up his defensive and stood waiting for the right moment.

The others stood silently and anxiously awaiting the next move but none seemed to come. Braerka recalled a similar scene from years ago one of her last training sessions with him; she however had been much younger and probably more naïve. He had taught her to deceive her enemy and to make them anxious if given enough time, she sensed it was what he was doing.

She tried to stay indifferent to his stalling and then took her chance and swung at him. He dodged left and she followed him only she didn't meet him. He had in the seconds she had spent processing his strike, decided to feint right and strike left. She felt the flat side of his blade slam into her hind, and was sent flying forward with its force.

Half-tripping forward she tried to recover but he had already moved in for the next blow. Kneeling she brought her blade in a defensive line across herself. His blade crashed against hers and she shook with the force as it pushed down on her.

"You're not playing games! Are you?" she asked through gritted teeth, using all her strength to holdback his blow.

"Oh, you know me… I never play games!" he answered.

Now she knew this was serious. Thorin had probably meant it when he said 'kill me', but she hadn't actually thought that he would display this kind of aggression even if it was only for training purposes.

'_Wait! Maybe he's trying to get you angry! Trying let you take it out on him? Maybe?'_ she wondered, it was probably unlikely but Thorin had some strange ways of communicating things perhaps this was one of them.

"Not as well I used to!" she grunted, pushing back on his blade and knocking him back. She stood and watched as he sluggishly recovered.

He half-growled in response, the battle field was clearly not the place if you wanted a down-to-earth conversation with him, but maybe that was the point of this one.

"Then maybe you should've stayed!" he growled moving in with another more angry stroke.

"You thought me dead! Was it not better that I stayed away?!" she hissed in response. She felt an unknown anger begin to flow through her. She had been holding this in for years, her anger at him for not trying harder, for not even trying to get her backing. Was he trying to do this? Was he allowing her to vent in a way he found worked best?

He lunged at her and she parried his blow, another came, and another and another, each time she successfully dodged or deflected them. He was relentless in his assault and she, not wanting to hurt him, was feebly striking back every chance she got. She didn't want to hurt him, and although this was her trying to prove herself able-bodied, displaying her true skills would probably end up with him injured; especially since she was fuming.

"Better? Better!" he growled, "I was responsible for you! When you left my life I had literally nothing left!"

She allowed him to speak, trying to understand why he was choosing now and this way of expressing it. Last night he had been so calm and relaxed about her return but now… it was like a whole different person was in front of her. She had imagined this talk being more subtle and private but that seemed like wishful thinking right now.

"Well then maybe you should have tried to find me!" she shouted back, ducking to avoid a particularly aggressive swipe from him.

"You don't think I tried?! I looked everywhere!" he growled angrily at her, striking her harder still. She swooped and dived avoiding his rage. How much longer would this last?

* * *

The company had turned silent, watching the two of them diffuse decades of pent up aggression. Kili became more and more anxious as it progressed. What had started off as fun had turned into a confessional of sorts, and an all too heated one at that.

He watched as Braerka barely avoided his uncle's rapid succession of strikes, while she had claimed to be deadly it was clear that she wasn't any match for him. Or perhaps she was holding back, not wanting to deject him as he released the ancient anger. Just by choosing to return to him had shaken his uncle's resolve, nobody could deny that. Thorin acted differently round her, like he was making up for old time's sake.

He watched as his uncle's fury bloomed more violently with every hit, their blades clanged and resonated. Seeing as this was supposed to be a lesson for him he decided he'd stick it out, regardless of what was happening. While he felt like joining it to end it he also felt that this needed to happen for whatever reasons.

He took a moment to observe the others, they too watched with grave expressions. They also must have felt this was necessary to allow it to continue and he wasn't going to change it; as much at it craved to.

"Why now? Why come back now? Why not stay away!" he heard Thorin roar. He listened intently for her reply, and had to stop himself from bolting to her when Thorin swiftly disarmed her, knocking her to the ground and putting his blade to her throat.

"I didn't come back on purpose! I found you by accident! If anything I was avoiding you!" she screamed at him through heavy breaths.

_'Avoiding him? Why?'_ Kili wondered.

"Why would you avoid me?" Thorin question having thought the same as him.

"After all this time?! For your own good! Too protect you…" she said, her voice becoming quieter and her breathing more relaxed.

Kili noticed Thorin too begin to calm as she did.

"What would I need protecting from?" he asked.

"Aside from those orcs a few others things…" she told him.

"Like who?" he insisted.

"I can't tell you… not yet anyway… the less you know the safer you are!"

Then silence reigned. Kili watched at the two once fuming combatants returned to their more regular and calm selves. Thorin relaxed and released his grip on her, stepping back and allowing her to stand. She did quickly and only stared at Thorin as he took in what she'd just told him.

* * *

Braerka watched closely as Thorin scrutinised her, she imagined he thought she was lying and that she had in fact been trying to find him. His piercing blue eyes rolled over her, taking her in. She breathed slowly and tried not turn and run. She had put all that behind her.

_'No more running!'_ she told herself and she stood defiantly in her place.

Thorin dropped his sword and stepped towards her, she could still feel the wary eyes of the company watching them. She silently became concerned when Thorin purposely walked into her path, _'what is he doing?'_ she pondered.

* * *

Thorin looked at her stridently, holding his position, though the want to move forward and hug her was overwhelming.

_'Would now be an appropriate time?'_ he wondered, swallowing hard and felt his throat raw; it stung from all the yelling he'd done.

While it had probably been the least subtle way of releasing this ire it was the only way he felt he could do it properly. "On the battlefield anything goes" his father had told him, he had held that to heart in every battle since and was never going to stop.

He watched her watch him watch her. What was going on in her mind? What had happened in her life to make her so protective and secretive? While he could only guess he imagined that in the past 170 years a lot had happened.

He then gave in; he couldn't stand and watch as he stood before looking as lost and disordered as the first time he'd laid eyes on her. He moved forward and pulled into an overdue but clearly welcomed embrace.

She was amazed to feel his arms wrap tightly around her. He held her close. With her being just that bit taller than him she allowed him to pull her to her knees. She knelt at his side, like the child she had once been. He pressed her head hard into his shoulder.

"Don't ever leave again!" he silently commanded her. But he needn't have worried she had no intention of leaving anytime soon, not with all she had gained since coming back.

She felt the tension in the atmosphere finally dissipate and she felt like the whole world had stopped. Those few seconds in his arms made everything feel like it had never changed and that everything was right.

But it wasn't, it was all too far from right. There was no doubting that he would have more questions and that he would in time get around to asking them, but she tried not to think about that. The moment was perfect, she felt safe in his arms like she did in Kili's but it was a different kind of safe, more… paternal.

When he suddenly released her she remained kneeling and watched as he stalked away, lifting and sheathing his blade as he did.

"I hope you were taking notes." He told Kili as he passed and returned to his seat.

* * *

Braerka fell back onto the grass; her energy almost spent from deflecting Thorin's angered strikes. She had known there'd be some anguish between them about her casual return and numerous secrets, but she hadn't expected that much.

She closed her eyes, and re-enacted the last moment mentally. It had been forever since she'd been that close so she could actually smell him, he smelt of a familiar place, like home; albeit marred by the scent of orcs and goblins. Regardless, it felt nice just to be held like that and by him.

She heard footsteps approach her, she didn't stir. She felt the body of someone sit beside her on the soft and lusciously green grass of Beorn's land. She didn't need to see to know it was Kili, he had a similar aura to that of Thorin, striking and commanding… much less angry, but still similar.

"Well… that was… educational!" he finally finished after a short while of searching for the right word.

She opened one eye, the sun high and blinding, and squinted at him. She gave a sly smirk, and then moved to sit up as he did.

"Yep, very!" she replied. Though she was sure he wasn't referring to it from a combat view.

"So… I don't think I learnt anything at all from that!" he said smoothly.

She eyed him suspiciously, "And?"

"And you said you'd punish me if I didn't!" he said rather suggestively. She cocked her brow and contemplated it.

He actually expected her to punish him? The last thing would she wanted to was hurt him in any way but her mind told her he had something else in mind.

"Hmmm…" she considered it for a moment, perhaps if they spent some more time alone it would be good, "Maybe later" she concluded.

He smiled at the thought, and then stood and helped her up. Dwalin marched up to him.

"Don't go thinking we're finished lad!" he told Kili, Kili sighed and argued but Dwalin pushed his sword back into his hands and then walked him to the make-shift arena.

She grabbed her sword and laughed at Kili's misfortune and made for the front door. As she went she was stopped by Balin. She couldn't help but wonder why he of all people would do so.

"Lassie, I apologize for what I said back there… You were right anyone trained by Thorin is well capable…" he said to her, "… even if they are a woman. I am truly amazed you survived that!" he added snidely.

She knew for a fact that being old he would be stoic in his beliefs of woman's place, and to him the battlefield was not one. She nodded in understanding and continued on her way.

She entered the room they had been left in and set the broadsword down by her place. She then quickly took out her journal and wrote a brief outline of it. 'Difficult but worth it' she finished writing; referring to her urge to lash out and show him everything she was capable of.

While what had just happened had been totally spontaneous, and very heated, it had been useful. It would more than likely make any further attempts at talking less awkward and more natural.

She returned outside and sat on the grass. She watched as they trained Kili and gave a few pointers here and there.

* * *

The day passed fairly quickly after that. It was one thing after the next. While Thorin and Gandalf made plans for the journey ahead, the others impatiently awaited Beorn's return, wanting to ask him more about his kind.

Braerka now sat with Bilbo, Fili and Kili attempting to whittle a spoon from the small bit of wood she had been given. It was a splendid way to pass the time, much more relaxed than earlier too; even if she wasn't very good at it.

Bilbo had taken to it naturally and was happily nicking away at his design. Braerka however couldn't seem to master it, she hacked at the wood hopelessly, the spoon shape becoming less and less identifiable with each stroke.

"Of all the bloody things I can do! I can't carve a bloomin' spoon from a hunk of wood!" she exclaimed unashamedly, casting it to the ground.

"Give it a chance you're only a beginner!" Fili assured her, patting her almost mockingly on the back. She glared at him.

"Bilbo's caught on fairly quickly, I'm pretty sure he's a beginner too!" he remarked.

Bilbo could only produce a pitiful and smug smile knowing he couldn't deny the fact he was.

"Let me help…" Kili butted in, lifting her sad excuse of a spoon and shifting to her side. "Show me where it's going wrong" he said softly.

"It's this bit of wood it's broken!" she joked at first, then she sighed, "I just can't do it!" she sighed again, showing him how she had gone about it. He then took her hands in his and showed her an easier way to carve. He repeated the action several times before he was sure she had it down.

"It that easier?" he asked.

"Much." She said, smiling at him and easily forming her spoon.

Not long later they were comparing their masterpieces, Braerka's while somewhat spoon like, had to the worst looking whittled spoon she'd ever seen, even Bilbo's look great in comparison

"I don't think I'm cut out for whittling!" she sarcastically remarked.

"What! Of course you are! That is a work of art!" Fili sardonically replied.

"You really think?!" she said to him, still in her satirical tone.

"Yes I do! In fact, you should enter the whittling championships next year, you'd win for sure!" he went on.

She laughed freely and shoved him jestingly, she was glad that he was successfully hiding his jealousy and also glad she could still get on with him like a house on fire. He was like the brother she never had.

"Does that actually exist?" Bilbo asked, genuinely believing him.

She and the others laughed and she then sat back. It was nice to be able to sit back and relax without having to worry, even if it wasn't going to last very long.

* * *

Thorin watched her closely for the rest of the day. Concerned that maybe what he'd chosen to do had been the wrong way to go about it.

But it seemed that like him she was better for it. Venting all that anger was probably what they both really needed and now he could almost completely focus on his travels ahead.

Still it worried him, these 'others' she claimed to be protecting him from, where following too? Would they be yet another bump on their already bumpy road?

He sighed roughly and regarded his map once more. It was becoming an obsession, gazing at the small inked drawing of his homeland. He was so eager to reclaim it, to return it to his people. But he knew rushing in would only get them killed, better to sit and dream up a plan now than wait until there was no time left.

His head darted up at the sound of an angry outburst. He his nephews, the hobbit and Braerka, all sitting together whittling by he looks of it. Braerka appeared to be getting frustrated with it.

Thorin sat up on the edge of his seat ready to intervene. Even as a child she had a remarkable and unpredictable temper, and there was no doubting that hadn't changed much if earlier was anything to go by.

But what he saw next amazed him. His youngest nephew, moved to her side and she seemed to instantly calm, then her face lit up with an endearing smile and so did Kili's.

He watched as the group laughed and smiled together, and also the two shared almost private glances towards each other.

"Remarkable isn't?" Gandalf began, "the effect they have on one another..." Thorin continued to watch them, listening intently to the wizard's words. "You should be happy for them; it is a quest in itself to find something like that so naturally in the world nowadays…"

However true Gandalf's words were Thorin had to discredit them. However happy he should have been for them, he wasn't. With her life expectancy unknown and his nephew's future already planned out, it would never work out. No matter how happy it made them; their love could not be allowed to blossom.

He half-growled into himself at the thought of having to tell them, and rose to his feet, "Bombur!" He called over to him, "…use your expertise and see what you can prepare us with was Beorn has in his pantry, it doesn't seem like he'll be joining us any time soon..."

He stalked back into the house closely followed by Bombur and a few others. He tried to shake the scowl he wore from his features. He would try everything to delay relaying the news to them; or at least for as long as he could. As much as it would pain him to tell Braerka, she and Kili could never be allowed to be more than friends.

* * *

**AN: Hey guys, so sorry this took so long, I had I severe bout of writers block, but I got over it and here it is! Thanks you for all the wonderful reviews, likes, favourites and follows so far!**

**I have, in a way, some bad news. I literally just got a job, which means I won't have as much time to write during the week. So basically my updates will take probably about as long one as this one took if not longer. I will try my hardest to get at least one up every week but no guarantees, I really hope you don't mind too much :) **

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed this one, I made it nice and long to make up for the wait (longest chapter so far ^_^) please R&R, PM me if you have questions etc. Stay tuned, love you guys x KiliFanatic**


	21. Chapter 21: All the Comforts of Home

**Chapter 21: All the Comforts of Home**

Another two days passed, nothing much to speak of happened. Everyone went about their own business, Braerka and Thorin spent time reacquainting themselves, the others sat fixing up what gear they had left, browsing the contents of Beorn's home or, as Fili did, just lying on the grass basking the light and heat of the sun.

He had all but gotten used to the fact that his brother spent every second with 'her' as he had come to call her. He couldn't get used to the fact that her name was Braerka; he felt it didn't suit her as much as her title of 'Shepherd' did, but he really couldn't do anything about it, he would have to get used to it one way or another.

Apart from her name the one thing that found annoyed him about her was her constant asking about the Soul Reaver. Every day at three or four time she would ask Gandalf to return it, the wizard's reply every time was no and she became unbearable to all but Kili when he did. Fili had taken to escaping outside.

He now lay among the many wild flowers of Beorn's garden, in the distance he heard the not so faint chuckles and teases from his brother, most-likely directed at 'her'. Since they had somewhat become an item it was difficult for him to get a second alone with Kili, it was either just him on his own or Kili and 'her'. He didn't like, not one bit, he had been so used to his brother always being by his side that he had never taken a second to imagine what life would be like if he ever actually left or in this case met someone. Now that it had happened Fili was discovering that he really, really, didn't like it.

He cursed himself for not appreciating his brother's company more, now that it was so scarce he was realising how much he actually needed it. It was Kili who would always be there to lift his spirits after being scolded by Thorin; it would always be Kili who would dream up some crazy plan to get them out of their bored slump. But at the moment none of that was happening, Kili was too busy courting 'her' and Fili had nothing better to do than watch the clouds drift by.

He considered his thoughts then he sighed, _'Wish Beorn would hurry and get back, this place is getting old…'_

All he really wanted was to get back on the road, but he knew he would probably regret it once he actually did. While having time to relax and put his feet up was nice, it left him with gallons of unspent energy and resulted in sleepless nights.

He turned his head in response to a loud squeal. He saw his brother take a hold of 'her' waist and begin dotting her cheeks and neck with playful kisses. At least Kili had someone to burn off his extra energy with.

He exhaled loudly, shaking his head, and sat up removing his pipe from his pocket. He lit the small measure of 'Old Toby' Gandalf had given him, though it wasn't his usual it was as good as. He found the soothing fumes more calming than of any tobacco he'd ever smoked and after everything that had happened to them he was very grateful for it.

Aside from traversing the wilds and assisting in the killing of a few thousand year old dragon and of course reclaiming their long lost homeland, he hadn't really expected that this quest would consist of much more. But goblins, orcs, constant detours and strangers who just happen to be, in a weird way, indirectly related to you, it was a little too much.

All he wanted was to prove himself worthy of the title of King Under the Mountain for when his time came.

He sucked in one large and deep breath and then let it out slowly, attempting to make a fairly large smoke-ring, it turned out to be more oblong than circular, but he was pleased with it. In the past few days he had learned to appreciate the small things.

He turned at hearing a loud gasp from behind him, it was Braerka again.

Fili rolled his eyes and watched as Kili, crudely sitting atop 'her', began tickling her sides roughly through the thin material of her shirt; she was wriggling and screaming for him to stop. He didn't heed her cries and only tickled her harder revelling in her laughter. She however didn't seem to like it. She rolled him over and took precedence on top of him, tutting and shaking her finger at him. Kili sighed in annoyance like a toddler as she got up off him. She wandered a few steps away and then caught Fili staring, she then sauntered over to him.

Quickly Fili began act like he'd been staring at something else, but he wasn't fooling anyone, he knew how guilty he looked, even if he wasn't actually guilty of anything.

"Hey, what's up?" she asked sitting down next to him and nudging him playfully.

He didn't answer simply shrugged his shoulders and stared out into the vast mass of flowers covering the ground. He would never admit it out loud but he still really liked her, probably nearly as much as Kili did, but he could see it was clear where he stood, he would never be any more than a like a brother to her.

"Come on, I know something's up! I can tell!" she said urging him to share his problems, "Or at least, I think I can tell, I'm not really sure what your 'I've got problems' face is yet!" she continued, trying to ease him into speech through humour; he giggled almost silently but it was noticeable. Still he didn't answer; he brought his pipe to his mouth and drew another long breath.

"All right then, keep your secrets, you have as much right as any one…just know that there are some things that need to be shared" she told him reassuringly, placing a friendly hand on his shoulder. She then got up and left him to his thoughts.

Fili was left with nothing but the sound of the soft blowing wind and the whimsical whistling of the birds. He sat and pondered her words, 'some thing's need to be shared', what could she mean by that?

He sighed once more and rose to his feet, stamping out the fading embers of his pipeweed with his thumb and stuffing it back in his pocket. Just as he was about to retire inside for the day with the others he heard a loud and very deliberate sounding rustle in the trees not far from him.

He became rigid and alert. He stood watching the greenery with his young, keen blue, green eyes. He kept himself sensitive to every tiny sound and movement. He controlled his breathing as he'd been taught and slowly approached the noise.

_'What are you doing? It's nothing! And if it isn't?'_ he subconsciously conversed with himself_, 'Go get help or tell someone at least!'_ he told himself, but his body was compelled forward and eager to investigate.

He drew closer and closer, as he did he unlatched one of the small throwing axes from his boot and held it in anticipation of what was to come. He was verging on the edge of the trees now, the rustle becoming more and more frequent; louder too. He held his breath and almost died when a tall bearded man burst out of the trees and walked right into him. He dropped his axe and tripped over himself in shock.

Fili looked up at him and realised it was Beorn, he was muddy and worn looking, _'Where has he been I wonder?'_ he thought. Fili noticed he was holding a small clatter of weapons that looked peculiarly small in his large hand.

"Terribly sorry master dwarf," Beorn said, loudly and apologetically, leaning over to help him up. He also noticed the axe lying at his side, "You dwarves are a very cautious lot!" he mused lifting it and handing it to him.

Fili said nothing and nodded as Beorn, who was almost twice his size, bent over to give it to him.

"Go and tell the others I have returned will you, I'll be there in a moment" Beorn told him as he made for his shed.

Fili waited until Beorn was well out of sight before sprinting into the hall and blurting out the news to the others. Why he was in such a hurry he didn't know, but he believed it to be something to do with Kili not being there by his side.

* * *

Braerka was sipping at a glass of hot tea Dori had just made her, he had found the tea tree among the many plants in the surrounding gardens and had recommended she try it. However it was not her 'cup of tea'. It was far too bitter and tasted more like off lemons to her, but in an attempt to not be rude she smiled politely and drank.

She could've sworn she heard Thorin chuckle as she did. From early on in her childhood she had been most expressive in her dislike of foods and drinks, she was sure he knew her face for that feeling, however much she tried to hide it.

She almost chocked as she was abruptly forced to swallow her current mouthful of the hot liquid when Fili burst in through the door.

"Beorn's back!" he shouted to the whole room.

Everyone sat in silence for a moment, letting his announcement sink in, before starting into a brisk cleaning motion, as in the four days they'd spent there, they'd made quite a mess.

"And about time too!" she heard Gandalf mumble, using his magic he rekindled the dying fire and then sat by it and watched as the others fixed the place up.

They all had grouped together in the main room they had first entered and waited for Beorn to enter.

"I thought you said he was back!" spat Gloin, growing impatient.

"He is! He said he'd be a moment though!" Fili spat back, annoyed that the dwarf would even consider that he would lie about this.

Then just as Gloin was about to make another remark Beorn walked in, dirtied and drowsy nothing like the clean and cheery self he had been the first she'd laid eyes on him.

He stopped and sniffed the air, "Much has happened since I left…" he began, "the air here is more relaxed, less tense…and it seems you have discovered my tea!" he finished, walking deeper into the room and settling himself in his own oversized chair by the other side of the fireplace opposite Gandalf.

Braerka held the warm mug a little closer as he said the words. He was clearly referring to what had happened between her and Thorin even if he hadn't been there and had no way of knowing. It shocked her to know that their unresolved anger had been causing such an atmosphere of disquiet.

But now it was all over and done with, and as Beorn had said the air was clearer. She took another sip of the bitter tea and then remembered she hadn't really wanted to.

"So…" Thorin began, somewhat more like his awe-inspiring, commanding self than he had been of late, "…care to tell us where you've been?"

Beorn looked at him blankly, and then placed the small handful of weapons onto the table.

"I went back, to verify your tale. I'm sorry Gandalf but I had to be sure, the world is not as good a place as it once was… nor are the people in it." Beorn explained. Gandalf nodded and rubbed his hands together warming them by the flames.

"And?" Thorin pressed him, keen to know.

"And… all you have said appears to be true. There were many goblins on my path and I took much pleasure in removing them…" he went on, grinning to himself at the memory. "I believe they were following you… they seemed very distraught about the recent murder of their king…" Beorn continued.

"Where there any orcs?" Braerka asked, eager to ask the question she knew everyone else was.

"Orcs? No. None that I could see, but smell? Yes, I could smell them for miles." Beorn answered.

_'Damn'_ Braerka thought, they too would most likely be following, not mention the addition of the bandits already ahead of them and the assassin's. Braerka felt like falling into herself and just shrivelling up into nothing, if she hadn't showed up perhaps none of this would've happened, perhaps they would still be on their way, not having to worry about anything but the dragon ahead.

'_Or perhaps they'd already be dead!' _her subconscious told her harshly.

Beorn regarded them all as their faces dropped at the knowledge of that fact their not-so-easy quest had become even more difficult.

"I found these," he said presenting the weapons to them, "where the orc scent was strongest… I assumed they were yours…" he said gesturing towards the items on the table.

Braerka spied her elven bow, gifted to her by Arwen, she hadn't even realized she'd lost it. She suppressed the urge to grab it and merely studied the meagre pile as the others did.

_'How distracted have I been?'_ she asked herself, she then turned when someone cleared their throat to see Kili sitting solemnly behind her. _'Oh yeah!'_ she thought again, remembering. _'Not to mention the Reaver! Speaking of which…'_

She shook herself back into the present and suppressed the want to ask for the crystal again.

"So they are definitely following you…" Gandalf told Thorin, "…but why after so long I wonder?"

Thorin groaned lowly and stood up, stretching himself, he shook his head and approached the door to the next hall.

"I need time to think…" he said plainly walking out the door, he was followed closely by Dwalin and Balin.

Braerka knew what that meant, he would now weigh up whether it was worth risking the lives of his whole company, which was pointless really, she knew he wasn't going to give this up; he was going to get Erebor back.

The room returned to silence until Kili spoke up.

"So, do you think he'll turn us back?" he asked, not really sure what to think.

"No, he won't. He'll finish this, whatever it takes and whatever the cost. There's no turning back now." she told him.

"Aye…she's right lad," Bofur said, "Thorin's never been one for giving up…"

"Thought as much…" Kili said.

Braerka gave him questioning look, why bother asking if he knew the answer? She shook it off as something he did just to be sure and absentmindedly took another sip of the bitter tea Dori had given her. She immediately spat it out into the mug, it was stone cold.

_'That's weird, it was boiling not seconds ago,'_ she determined, how could it have turned so cold to fast. Again she disregarded it believing more time had passed than she had anticipated and sat in the quiet room.

"Ahem… I think it is about time for supper… don't you think?" Beorn started, trying to make the air less awkward. Bombur leapt up to help and was moving about Beorn's small kitchen area, he had become quite familiar with it in the time they'd spent there, he hardly ever left it.

Braerka watched as the others broke off into their usual groups and she, Kili, Fili and Bilbo were left sitting at the table.

Bilbo sat with his head in his hands, concerned about what he would have to face. He may have found the courage to face the orcs head on alone, but both Orcs and Goblins together and innumerable in count would be another thing.

She sighed, and pushed the mug away from her. She now felt sick to the stomach and somewhat responsible for their current position. She fished her bow out of the pile and left the room, checking it over as she went.

* * *

Kili was fully understanding of what everything Beorn had said meant for them and their quest. Things would be harder now, they would also have to move faster and cover their tracks better. He listened closely as Braerka told him that there was no chance Thorin would give up now and he also felt a little stupid for asking. But it didn't hurt to know and he felt a little more secure in the knowledge that she actually knew his uncle.

He sat breathing the growing smell as Bombur began tossing various greens and herbs into a large pot. Everyone was looking grave once more but as always had decided not to think about it, now was the time for relaxing and letting loose and it was probably the only chance they would get before it was all over.

He sat with his brother and Bilbo even after she had left. She walked down the same way Thorin had passed.

_'Maybe she's going to talk to him?'_ he assumed and didn't move to follow like he had usually taking to doing so lately.

"Aren't going to go with her?" Fili asked him snidely, a hint of jealously in his tone.

Kili looked up to see his brother glaring at him.

"What's eating you?" Kili asked not knowing what had him so wound up. Fili sighed at his question as if it was supposed to be obvious.

"You and her! That's what!" he answered sharply, still glaring.

"So you are jealous then!" Kili responded with a tone of satisfaction.

"This has nothing to do with jealously Kee! You spend every second with her! Did it never occur to you that maybe I, or anyone, would like to hang out with you? Okay maybe is a little to do with jealousy but come on… I do have a point! Did you even think before diving in?" Fili explained and questioned.

Kili hadn't even considered that his brother would feel this strongly about his constant attention towards her. He also hadn't taken the time to think about how it would affect him.

"Thought not!" Fili continued, "You never think! You just do!"

Kili still sat speechless, taking in his brother's words. He let out a loud breath.

"Ok… if it'll make you feel any better, I'll spend the rest of the day with you…and, and I'll hang out with you all tomorrow!"

Fili was astounded, this girl was clearly having a positive effect on him, or maybe what they'd all been through had matured him in ways that weren't really obvious. He blinked twice to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"What? You're just gonna leave her?" he asked.

"No, not exactly, besides I think she's getting a little annoyed at my constant presence, she needs a time out; I mean… you know how overpowering my sheer awesomeness is!" Kili told him.

Fili snorted loudly and burst out laughing. This was what he liked, his little brother trying to be cool and coming across as his childish, and out-right, silly self.

"What?!" he jested knowing full well why Fili was laughing. He had done it on purpose, anything to see his brother smile.

* * *

Braerka sat on the floor in the corridor under the window she had been with Kili not two nights ago. She waited for Thorin and the others to emerge from the room, wanting only to stow her bow with the rest of her belongings. The soft amber glow of the setting sun poured in through the window and illuminated the tapestries on the walls. She looked forward blankly at it.

A setting sun would mean night was coming and that she would probably be plagued by her nightmares. Even though the past few nights had be free of the flaming horror, she had found sleeping near to Kili and even more so in his hold, kept them at bay. Why, she wasn't sure but she wasn't going to question it.

A fair amount of time passed and still she waited. She had drifted into almost sleep, her eyes were closed but she was still aware of everything. She heard the deep and faint whispers of Thorin and co behind the closed door down the hall from her. She tried to discern the words but she was too uncaring at that moment to even bother trying.

She considered how different this would have turned out had she not showed up. It was after all an accident that she had even come by him, she had travelled west to get away from him, but not knowing where he had settled in the end had been a little problematic.

She wondered if they would still be here, in Beorn's house, or whether they would still be on their way. But then again would Azog have still been after them? Would he have still found them on their crossing of the Misty Mountains? She would never know, unless she was able to conjure up a time portal and change it all, but that was impossible and she wouldn't want to either, changing it would mean she would never had found Thorin again or come to know his nephews.

She sighed thinking of Kili, and wondered why he hadn't followed her, he usually did. She had taken to calling him her little puppy as he followed her around so much.

She sighed again_, 'why hasn't he followed?'_

While she had appreciated the fact he had finally chosen to give her a second alone she felt somewhat lost. A cold chill swept up her side; it felt strange without him there. Sure she felt that he was sometimes too clingy, she even felt claustrophobic at times and unable to breathe. But she didn't stop him, it was part of the thrill, a new experience and she was enjoying the ride.

She resolved that he had decided to give some time to his brother, which she was thankful of, as much as she loved him. This time alone was what she needed plus Fili had seemed a little down.

She opened her eyes on the sudden increase in volume of the voices. She looked down the hall the candle light consumed the dimming sunlight and marked the door that had opened. As loud as they were talking she still couldn't understand. Then it dawned on her, they were conversing in Khuzdul; she could recognise the odd word in the secret language but the majority of what they said was gibberish.

She watched as Balin and Dwalin walked up the hall back into the main room; Thorin closely followed. She stood up sharply and made her way past them. Thorin stopped her.

"We're leaving in two days." He told her, she nodded and said nothing. She moved to continue on her way but was stopped again; Thorin held her gently by the armed and pulled her in front of him.

"What?" she asked a little worried by his closeness, lately this had meant serious talking was to be done. She had already told all he needed to know about her, minus the assassin related stuff; she felt that he really didn't need to know about that, until it was necessary anyway.

"You and Kili…" he began.

"Yes?" she said, already able to predict where this was going, but holding out and hoping she was wrong.

"You have become close in the past few days…"

"Yes…" she answered not liking where he was going with this highly cryptic talk.

"I need you to stay away from him…" Thorin finally said.

Braerka furrowed her brow_, 'Why?'_ It was allowing her sleep soundly, filled the empty hole in her and allowed Kili to express the affections he held, why should they stop? She loved him, she was now completely sure of that and he loved her, so why should they stop?

"You must understand this is for both your sakes, you are ageless it seems and from what you've told me lead a life on the road moving from place to place. Kili is a prince, an Heir of Durin, as am I and his brother. He cannot go with you should you choose to continue your current path…"

"And I wouldn't want him to…" she told him angrily, if he felt this way about their affiliation she, however much she wanted, wasn't going to argue. He was, in a way, right after all. As a prince Kili had his duties and would need to learn the ways of Kingship should he ever need to take the throne. He wouldn't be able to gallivant about middle-earth with her.

Thorin looked at her a tad confused; she was taking this better than he had pre-empted. From what he'd seen they were a perfect match, they shared common interests, had saved each other's lives and like any couple they did a healthy amount of bickering. Thorin disliked greatly having to break them up, but biting the bud before it fully bloomed was the easiest way to stop it and prevent any bad things from happening in future.

"So you understand?" he asked her just to make sure. She nodded.

She sat motionless as he leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Why was he always kissing her forehead? Sure he used to do it when she was child, but she wasn't a child anymore.

She felt no better for what he had told her, not only would she be tearing herself away from the only person that made her whole, she would also have to endure her fiery nightmares. She didn't know if she could do it, but she would try at least.

He walked on into the front room leaving her standing there. Braerka watched him go supressing the anger she felt towards him in that instant. She tightened her grip on her bow so much that the whites of her knuckles showed.

She breathed heavily and stomped into the room putting her bow down.

_'Who does he think he is? Telling me what to do! I'm not a child anymore! He can't do this!'_ she screamed in her head. As much as he was right, that she was in ways a liability and something that could affect him later in life, she wanted so badly to rebel against his request. He may be her model-father but she was old enough to make her own choices.

* * *

Mealtime was more relaxed than expected they shared stories and jokes among themselves, but Fili couldn't help but notice how distant and quiet 'she' was being. He was confused by how she would reject Kili's touch and tried to move away from him. She would also send intimidating glares towards Thorin, which he would ignore.

_'Strange….'_ He thought, casting it aside as nothing.

After some time they had begun sing, drunk from the sweet ale Beorn had produced, all happy and content. Fili watched as his half-drunk brother belted out a song at the top of his lungs along with a few others. He also watched as Braerka gave the strongest smile she could muster. She had receded into the darkest corner of the room and blocked herself off from all the fun.

Fili broke off from his cheery comrades and tried to speak her.

"Are you ok?" he asked her, feeling genuine concern for her. She didn't reply vocally, she merely nodded.

"Are you sure? You're being very quiet it's not like you!" he told her. She shrugged and continued to watch as the others laughed and sang.

"Braerka…" he said, calling her by her real name for the first time, it stuck on his tongue like glue and didn't feel right but he finished, "…some things are meant to be shared!" he told her echoing her earlier advice.

This caught her attention her eyes darted up to him; perhaps giving her proof that he'd actually been listening and taken her advice was the key to getting through to her.

"Ask your uncle!" she said sharply, finishing her ale, she sighed angrily, "I need some air…" she told him speeding out the front door.

He watched her go and turned his gaze to his uncle. He thought they'd sorted everything out between them, apparently not. He moved to get to his uncle's side but was stopped by his brother's drunken stumble.

"Hey Fee!" Kili blurted out to him. Fili felt a little anger rise up in him, but he knew it was a foolish and fleeting anger. He dragged his brother offside and plunged Kili's head into the soapy dishwater. _'This should sober you up a bit!'_ Fili thought.

Kili surfaced spluttering and covered in soapy bubbles. "What…! *cough*…why!" Kili spluttered wiping his face and tongue in an attempt to remove the soapy taste from his mouth.

"Because your girlfriend is in need of you!" Fili told him, pointing to the door. Kili followed his brother's finger and looked back to him confused.

"Why? What's wrong?" He asked brushing his soaking wet hair from his face, the drunken slur quickly faded from his speech and was replaced by a worried tone, dunking him in the sink had worked.

"I'm not sure exactly, but… I am positive she needs you!" Fili told him.

"But…" Kili began trying to relinquish the responsibility. Fili moved to stop him but it seemed Kili stopped himself and quickly made for the door.

Fili smiled, standing gobsmacked. He was amazed at how much Kili had changed, he usually would ask for help in situations like this but he had matured in more ways that was initially apparent.

With renewed pride in his brother, and in himself for not seizing the moment as a chance to win her heart, he moved towards his uncle. He felt determination swell up in him as he did whatever he had done; Fili wasn't going to let it get between her and Kili.

* * *

Kili marched out through the front door and looked about for Braerka he even called to her several times, but he couldn't find her and she didn't answer.

"Where are you?!" he said aloud, fisting his hands in his hair and pulling hard at the roots. The cool night air had hit him hard and he was feeling the after-effects of his recent drinking escapade; his head ached with worry and the silence outside wasn't helping him.

He then felt anger wash over him, why had she left? What could've made her so uncomfortable around him? He hadn't wanted to accept it but he had felt a little unwanted when she kept moving away from him, he had assumed she'd overheard what he'd said to Fili about having a break, but now he wasn't so sure.

If Fili had been worried enough to actually feel the need to almost drown him it had to be important and maybe even related. Then it clicked, his uncle, Thorin, had walked in and she had closely followed. Had he said something? It had, after all, only been after that, that she had started acting odd.

Kili felt a small fiery anger burn up in his chest, why would Thorin do something like that? After everything they'd been through and all he'd said. Why would he say something that could make her want to keep more secrets? Then another thing clicked, she had been avoiding him and cringing at his touch, Thorin warned her off as he had warned him off earlier. Had Gandalf been right? Did Thorin really not approve?

No he did approve, he'd said so himself, but then….why? He ruffled his hair and called her again, growling out at the dead silence.

_'Argh! Where is she?!'_ he questioned the darkness. The sun had long since set and the light from the windows only stretched so far.

_'She wouldn't have gone into the forest would she?'_ he pondered.

In a split second he made a decision, he took a breath and marched out towards the treeline hoping she hadn't chosen to leave.

_'No she wouldn't leave,'_ he mused, _'she wouldn't.'_

He reached out and pushed aside the branches of the low trees and began to move forward through the thick foliage.

"Where are you going?" he heard, he spun to see who and was rewarded with a slap up the head after letting go of one of the branches he'd held down. The force jolted him forward and he landed in all too familiar arms.

He stood himself upright and held Braerka in place examining her. He stroked her cheeks and brushed her arms to warm her.

"What are you doing?" she questioned his odd behaviour. "Are you really that drunk already?"

"Are you okay? What's wrong? Fili said something was wrong!" he said quickly the words spooling from his mouth one after the other with no pause.

"Woah! Slow down! What?" she said motioning for him to breathe.

He took a breath and slowly repeated, "Fili said something was wrong… is there?"

"No, I'm fine just needed some air is all…" she said vaguely wandering a few steps from him.

Kili watched her movements she was timid and fidgety, she wrung her hands together, not her usual demeanour.

"No something is up I can tell, what is it?" he asked persistently.

"Thor…" she started but cut herself off, she bit her lip and sighed. He walked her side and hugged her from behind.

"Please, tell me. You know you can tell me anything right." He said soothingly into her ear, his chin resting on her shoulder.

She sighed again and said candidly, "Thorin told me to stay away from you."

Kili tutted, "What and you're gonna listen to him!"

She looked at him oddly. "Well, no, yes, I don't know! I mean I…I…ugh! I want you, I love you! But… I just got Thorin back I can't just stab him in the back!"

"Why not? He's used to it and besides, he's only told you because I didn't listen. If you don't listen either he'll have no choice but to accept it."

"He spoke to you?" she questioned, thinking it a little strange how Thorin didn't just tell them both at the same time.

"Yeah, told me all this mumbo jumbo about how I was too young for something so intimate, but what he doesn't realise… is that neither of us are children any more, we've grown up and are more than capable of making our own choices, and taking responsibility for the consequences whatever they may be."

Braerka turned sharply and regarded him very closely, almost unsure of who was standing there. Kili was making perfect sense and was also saying very mature things, clearly he had matured. Or was he just like this when he was drunk?

"Don't worry, this is probably the ale talking! The real me wouldn't say any of those words regularly, well not in the same sentence! Not by a long shot!" he said in response to her confused look. "So, what are you gonna do?" he added questioningly.

She looked him over again; they both stood on the forest edge, someway from the building. Though there was little light, she could just see Kili's rugged frame and his shirt as the light breeze billowed against him. She recounted his words, deep down she knew that she loved him, and probably would regardless of what happened, she also knew that she probably wouldn't be able to go on not loving him if he was so near, but she felt so conflicted about disregarding Thorin's wishes.

_'Ah, to hell with it!'_ she yelled subconsciously, tossing out her evaluation of the pros and cons.

She took a small step forward and brought her hand up to his cheek, mere centimetres away she could feel melting heat-waves emanate from him. She breathed slowly and concentrated, she closed her eyes and then made contact, the heat moved up through her hand and she felt it flow through her, bringing her nerves to life. She felt his hand slowly stroke its way up her arm to keep her hand in place add yet more heat to her already flaming veins. Her eyes darted open and she saw him look longingly at her.

"Well?" he asked though his voice was barely a whisper. Her answer though unconventional was all he needed.

She all but lunged at him pulling him close into a bear hug which was followed by deep and passionate kisses.

"Come what may!" she whispered into his ear, before continuing to kiss him.

With each embrace the motion grew more intense, as before he begged for entrance to her mouth and as before she complied. They each wrestled for supremacy in the act only ceasing when Kili began to trail small pecks down her neck.

She held back her moans so as to not alert the others but they already had a spectator.

"Ahem!" came a deep and gruff voice from near the house.

The both immediately stopped and relaxed somewhat to see it was only Beorn. Braerka wiped her mouth and fixed herself; Kili did the same. They both stood awkwardly as the tall brawny man observed them.

"Would you like a room?" he said, to Braerka he sounded genuine but he couldn't be serious right?

"No, were just…I… uh…" Kili started then stopped short when Beorn interrupted him.

"I have plenty rooms to spare and I have already shared them out among the others…" He repeated this time to assure them he was serious about the offer.

"What? Really?" Kili asked, Braerka stood at his side gobsmacked; and a little worried. If they were given a room of their own, would that mean? Would he want to…? She shook the thought from her head, as much as it scared her she believed Kili wouldn't force it, or at least she hoped.

"Of course, the one at the end of the hall is free, use that one, there are two beds by the way" he added reassuringly to her as they both moved off to return inside.

* * *

Fili pressed his uncle again after he gave a less than satisfactory answer to his inquiry. "You're telling me you don't have a clue why she would be upset?"

Thorin sighed and pulled himself from the hilarious scene of Bifur re-enacting how he wound up with an axe embedded in his head.

"I do not believe I have said anything that would offend her! Unless…" he finished trailing off as the shock of realisation hit him.

"What?! Uncle what?!" Fili pleaded.

Thorin stood in silence, stroking his beard and a concerned look on his face. He was about to answer when Beorn stood up.

"I think another keg of ale is in order!" he belted over their racket as he made for the door.

Fili assumed disregarded all his surroundings and focused solely on his uncle. Thorin had momentarily forgotten that he was being interrogated and he bore an expression of relief. He waved his hand in front of Thorin's face and quickly re-attained his attention.

"What happened?" he asked again more harshly than before.

"That is none of your concern Fili, now stand down or I will be forced to…"

"Forced to what?" Fili spat at him angrily, his rebellious side flaming up.

Thorin glared sourly at his eldest nephew, he had always known Fili was like this, the one more liable to talk back with a logical argument. He had also known how defensive he could be with anything to do with Kili, though he had never expected to witness them both at the same time.

He was about to answer when of all people, Kili and Braerka walked in. Unnoticed by most they slipped past them all and passed through the next door and into the main hall. Thorin felt a weak sense of betrayal at the two of them together; he had only tried to separate them to avoid them the pain that would come on the day when the two of them had to go their separate ways, which he knew to be inevitable.

But even still, he felt happy for them. He hadn't wanted to do it; it had been out of necessity. If they wished to continue and face the problems then he would let them, no questions asked, he decided he wouldn't even acknowledge their outright rejection of his words. Not today anyway.

He turned to look at Fili; he too had noticed them enter and had watched as they happily skipped past everyone. He now turned to face Thorin with a vehement look.

"It no longer matters… they seem to have sorted it, or rather ignored it!" Thorin told him. Though he was glad for them he couldn't help but think only the worst could come of it.

* * *

Kili lead Braerka by the hand across the room, no one even stopped long enough to acknowledge them; even still Braerka could feel eyes on her, following her path as she walked in synch with Kili's step. Though it was what she wanted she didn't feel completely okay with it.

Yes, she wanted to be with Kili and to bask in the safety and protection of his aura along with his conviviality but she didn't want it to mean that Thorin would once again distrust her.

An uneasy sickening feeling rose in her stomach and a wave of dizziness overcame her as she passed into the hall with him and he continued to lead her down to the room at the end. She felt like there was a lead weight forming within her and purposely slowing her progression, but she didn't slow or even stop she continued at Kili's enthusiastic pace.

They reached the door in no time and Kili twisted the handled and opened it to reveal and robust two bedded room. It was cosy looking, the soft amber glow of the candles somewhat relaxed her and the light of the warming fire was even more so. She assumed Beorn had planned for this, why else would the fire be lit, he had after all planned to give out the dwarves their own rooms, _'more comfortable than the floor'_ she concluded.

Kili took very little or no time to take in the furnishings. He sped up and bounded onto the closest bed, spreading himself across its width.

"Ooooo, soooo soft!" he drawled, rolling over the soft blankets. She laughed at this; she remembered the last time she'd been in a bed, Rivendell. She also remembered how the company had been crammed into that small room; they hadn't had the privilege of a soft mattress to rest on. This was probably the first time he'd lay on one in ages.

He sat up and yanked his boots off casting them to the floor. He then looked to her; she was now standing in front of the fire, taking in the heat. He sighed at her dark silhouette made by the light, it highlighted her curves and the tightness of her jerkin did nothing to hide them.

"Join me…?" he said unsure if it was right. He patted the place on the bed beside him. He noticed her reluctance but still she did.

_'She's as unsure as I am!'_ He realised, feeling all the better for it. If neither of them were knowledgeable in this field it may actually work out.

* * *

Slipping off her own boots and sliding across soft bed cloths she moved herself into the spot he'd pointed out. She moved close to him and tried to relax as he slipped his arm around her. Her lungs felt like they were stuck in her throat, her breathing became shallow and quick.

_'Don't be such a baby!'_ she scolded herself; she was acting up over such a small thing, she felt foolish_. Just go with the flow…'_

* * *

They sat in silence listening to the crack of the wood on the fire for a short while, to Kili it felt like an age. Now that they were actually there, lying on the bed Beorn had so kindly offered them, he didn't know what to do. Outside they had been so immersed in each other and oblivious to what would happen but making the transition from there to the warmth of a small bedroom, gave them time to think.

While he could only guess as to what she'd thought of, Kili had had plenty of subconscious wiles.

_'Is this really happening? What do you mean 'really happening'! You're only sharing a bedroom! But what if… What if nothing! Just act natural! What's natural in this instance?!'_ were some of the many arguments he had with himself as he had walked. He had been so caught up with them he hadn't even noticed his speedy and ever increasing pace, he'd reached the room's door a lot quicker than he'd anticipated and now he was once again facing an internal battle.

He purposely tightened his hold on her a little, trying to evoke some sort of response or reaction but she allowed him to and did nothing but welcome the strong embrace.

Then after a while, and at the same time, they both decided to speak.

"Kili?"

"Braerka?"

They both then giggled and then Kili made a split second decision and cupped her cheek in his hand and kissed her gently. At first he thought it had been wrong, and was worried that he'd messed up before he'd even started. But she paused only for a brief second before kissing him back more passionately than he had her.

* * *

Braerka didn't really know what to do; she had never been close enough to someone to have this kind of relation in all of her 180 years. But when he had kissed her in that increasingly awkward moment all thoughts of what to do had faded quickly and she had done what felt natural.

As they continued the motion all worries she had created on their journey to the room were lost. Her mind was an almost blank haze of madness. He had one hand exploring her curves and the other supporting her neck and holding her close. She allowed him to, letting loose and relaxing completely within his hold. His strong hands felt nice through the thin layer of clothing she bore, she couldn't help but imagine this sensation of them on her bare skin.

As if reading her mind Kili slipped his free hand down to the buckles on her belt and mischievously began to undo them. Soon enough he was pulling it off and tossing it to the side, all the while trying his hardest not to break their passionate hold.

* * *

Kili panicked a little as he chose to undo her belt. He waited for her to recoil from him but she didn't and so he continued. He loved how she even helped a little, moving into a more open position to allow him to slip it off her shoulders. All the while he let his hold endure, though it was challenging he achieved it to his own amazement.

He returned his hand her hold her neck as he finished with her jerkin, and welcomed her chilling fingers as they took hold of his own.

_'She's so cold again!'_ he thought, she had been a lot cooler of late and it was starting to worry him. These thoughts didn't stay long enough for his to contemplate them anymore. Her own icy finger tips had moved their way down his neck and he could feel the cold chill beaming through his shirt, she dug her short nails into his chest and pulled at his shirt. He took it as a message and quickly removed it breaking their embrace for only a second, allowing them a much need gulp of air.

* * *

Braerka gasped a little too loudly when Kili suddenly took her in both arms and rolled over to take precedence on top. He towered over her, his long hair tickling her cheeks softly.

There was a short moment of nothing between them, time seemed to stop and they once again were staring into each other's eyes.

Braerka saw a flaming riot of passion burn within his and sought only to calm the flames, in whatever way possible. She'd seen enough of fire for one life.

In this moment she pressed her palms against his abdomen, she could feel the blood pulsing through his veins and his heart thudding within his chest. He was so warm, _'how could anyone be so warm? Or am I just really cold?' _She wondered. Even so she wasn't going to argue about it or even think about, his heat was most welcomed.

She let her hands trail down him, tracing over the outlines of his well-toned muscles_, 'being an heir of Durin has is advantages' _she thought thinking of all the training he'd had to go through to get to the peak of his physical condition.

He dived down moments later and began kissing and sucking on her neck, she hugged him loosely, trying to hold it together while his whole body moved atop her. She could feel the roughness of his short stubble scratch against her soft skin and felt in that moment that she didn't want to it stop.

The next thing she knew Kili was undoing the knot on her shirt and had begun to pull it down her shoulders. She grabbed his wrists and stopped him.

"Kili..." She gasped, having had barely enough time or thought function to breath, he looked at her worriedly as if he'd done something wrong.

"Yes?" He asked, a little desperately wanting to know why she'd stopped him.

"Are you sure we should be... You know... Doing this?" She asked him, though she hated to admit it, even thinking about this as a young teenager had frightened her and still did to this day. The whole concept of love-making was a unexplored territory where she had never planned to go.

She watched his passionate and vehement eyes as there smooth brown colour rolled over her. He leaned it close and kissed her neck more gently and irresistibly than ever before, she found it difficult to not kiss him back.

"We may never get another chance!" he said absentmindedly, moving to continued but she stopped him again.

"Yeah I know, but… is this not too soon, shouldn't we wait?"

He observed her once more and then answered her.

"Don't think about what we should be doing... If this is what we want then it will happen..." He said pausing to kiss her full rouge lips. He then continued, "If you want to stop at any time just tell me."

Some part of Braerka told her this was still a little bit of the alcohol talking and that the non-influenced Kili wouldn't have put it so nicely. She probably would've preferred the not-so-drunk Kili; he more than likely wouldn't have given her any time to think.

She nodded accepting of his words and then leaned up pulling him close with one hand and embracing him fiercely.

Again their minds went blank; the sheer pleasure of what they were doing making coherent thought all too impossible.

* * *

Braerka woke calmly, batting her eyelids several times to adjust to the light. She noticed the fire had all but died and morning was in full bloom. She felt something beneath her and realised she was spread across Kili's chest; she moved in time with his breathing and relished the heat he gave off.

She noticed the other bed untouched. She sat up slowly attempting to cover herself but there was no need, while the binding on her shirt had been undone she was still fully clothed, and so was Kili (minus his shirt).

She recalled what had happened, while their passionate and fervent relations had been unquenchable, Kili, exhausted from all his extra training, had keeled over not long after his exchange of words with her and left her wide awake with all too much to think about.

She smiled at the memory wondering if he would feel rude for doing so_, 'probably not…'_ she concluded.

She pulled back the covers and got up stretching as she did. She sat on the edge of the bed and glanced back at Kili's sleeping form. His hair was it usual tatty mess and it covered most of the pillow.

She sighed deeply and stood, stretching once more. She then left the room and returned to the living area. Having passed many a hung-over dwarf Braerka took it upon herself to make them some breakfast. While not exactly the best of cooks she could muster up a mean cheese on toast, and when in the wild almost anything from what she could find (even if it wasn't completely edible by the time she was done with it). Luckily for her Beorn pantry held exactly what she needed and she quickly prepared everyone some.

She left the others to guzzle it down in silence and brought a small plate of it down to the still sleeping Kili. She returned after waking the sluggish Kili and eat her own fill. Standing by the fireplace she again could feel eyes on her, she assumed it to be Thorin, and did all she could to not look up.

After emptying her own plate she left to get some air. She walked slowly across the green grass alone and in silence.

She then sat among the flowers and the day passed slowly; no one seemed to bother her, not even Kili. He would check up on her every few hours or so but spent the majority of the day with his brother. It was nearing the late evening when Thorin finally approached her.

"So… you chose to disregard me." He said bluntly.

"Well… yeah basically, I figured what you base your argument on is a problem that we can face when it comes. Until then… I believe we should enjoy what we have, when we actually have it, there's no point it mourning it once it's gone."

Thorin listened intently as she explained her choice. Her logic was sound and he could find no argument, but he still would not condone their relationship.

"That may be but what if, when it comes to it, you're unable to solve the problem?" he question trying to seed doubt in her thoughts.

"Well then I don't know, I guess we just… move on… or something… look Thorin I know you're trying to stop it but there is no point. Kili and I are in love… we made the choice together and we will keep it together and we will cross whatever bridges come up along the way! So please just stop!" She said, with increasing irritation.

Thorin humphed and then crouched beside her about to speak when Bifur called out something in Khuzdul. She recognised one word 'Urs' meaning 'fire'.

She looked up and so did everyone else. From across the entirety of Mirkwood she could she a large pillar of smoke rising and stretching across the sky. It merged with the pale clouds and marred their purity.

"Where is that?" Dori asked, it was a question they all probably wanted to answer. Braerka, however, knew but she hoped that she was wrong and that whoever answered would say something else.

Beorn stepped forward and looked up and down the landscape. He considered it for a moment mumbling aloud to himself, that it couldn't be Laketown and that it was too far South. Braerka felt sickened as there was only one other town in that general area.

"Hmmm… it looks like it could only be Windermere!" he said finally pinpointing the town within its general region.

Braerka shook her head, off all the places. She had friends there; it was also where the assassin's headquarters were. Would they? No, they wouldn't just set alight the whole village would they?

She thought it over for a second, it had been a while since the events in the goblin's cave perhaps the Black Eyes had reached the next place they could think of finding her. But if they had, wouldn't the assassins have stopped them? They were by far more skilled than any average bandit, so why would this be happening?

Braerka became more worried as she watched the black cloud spread across the horizon. The more she watched the more she wanted to just leave now and investigate.

"Hey wait, Windermere? Isn't that were you've lived most of your life Braerka?" asked Fili, recalling what she had told them.

"Yes." She said bluntly, regarding the event in the distance with an icy stone cold stare.

She stood watching the black pillar spread and found her fingertips twitching as her subconscious tried to will her into action.

Thorin came up to her sensing her agitation as did Kili.

Thorin held her in place as she tried to move past him.

"IF we make through Mirkwood in good time we will investigate I promise!" he told her.

"And if we don't?" she hissed back at him, as if it had been his fault. Then she remembered that if she and him were to go within a few mile radius of Windermere they were most likely dead. She wouldn't allow him to come to harm, but herself… she was expendable. "No, I'll investigate myself!"

With that she began on the path back into Beorn's house.

"You can be seriously considering going there alone lass?!" Bofur shouted after her. She didn't answer the anger and hate she felt towards whoever had done it or allowed it to happen was over powering and she needed to exact justice on them. She angrily swung opened the door and passed into the house to collect her things.

* * *

Thorin stood watching as she went disregarding Bofur quite valid question. He had to admit he loved how passionate and determined she felt about this, this was where she had learned to call home for the majority of her life as she had told him. He wouldn't stop her but he sure as hell wasn't going to let her go alone.

"Well…" he began and everyone looked to him. "…looks like we're leaving early!"

* * *

**AN: OK, firstly apologies for this taking so long, I had planned for a Wednesday upload last week but that clearly never happened! Secondly, I apologise if this isn't up to standard, 1) I didn't really know what to put into it and 2) I wanted a calm-ish chapter before Mirkwood, so not much really happens (even though its really long it more of a filler I guess) **

**So, please R&R, I will really appreciate anything at this point after so long. Again I say sorry for the wait and thank you all for being so very patient with me, I will try to get the next one out a lot quicker, (as in not over 2 weeks from now ^_^) please stay tuned! **


	22. Chapter 22: Mirkwood

**AN: Hey guys, yes I am still living in case you were wondering. I deeply apologize for the length of time I took with this, august was a busy month etc etc, I not going to waste time with excuses. So very sorry, but here it is finally, and the next one will definitely be up before the end of the week promise. **

**Anyway a quick refresh of what happened at the end of the last chapter, (as its been so long), Braerka and co have just noticed a flaming town in the distance, which just so happens to be Windermere her "home town" and she's basically just gonna go off on her own to help the town as no-one else will.**

**So without further ado here is chapter 22, hope it was worth the wait guys.**

**Chapter 22: Mirkwood**

Braerka stormed her way into Beorn's house. She marched all the way to the larger room she had spent her first few nights in barely supressing the need to break something. She quickly gathered her things and slipped on her coat, promptly strapping her sword to her belt and slinging her bow on. She tried to block the image of what she had just seen but it was no use, her mind was a blur of anger and regret, and mostly at herself for not being there to stop it.

_'You couldn't have been there! Stop blaming yourself!'_ she heard a voice in her head cry. She ignored it, to her it could be no one's fault but her own. She had after all been the one to enrage The Black Eyes and also the one to incite the anger of the assassin's. Suddenly she was regretting all the choices she'd made of late.

No matter what way she looked at it, it was she who had been the cause of it all.

She slipped on her half repaired bag and then considered her stitching. She probably would have been better of letting someone else do it, her skills with a needle and thread where less than up to scratch.

She stopped and looked around the room, taking the barely a split second to slow down she recalled all the wonderful memories that she had made there and then quickly brushed them aside, Windermere was taking priority in her thoughts and she struggling to drown them out.

In all honesty she would have preferred to stay a while longer and she was sad to have to leave so soon, but more important things were at hand and an incessant gut wrenching feeling that was pressing her onward. Windermere was, as far as they all could see, ablaze and if no-one was to help, then she would regardless of how long it took.

Her only drive now was the hope that someone would survive and that she would be able to get there in time to help or at least to help the townsfolk cleaned up. She was almost certain in the knowledge that the Assassins or Black Eyes had started it, but even that didn't really make sense, why would the assassins set fire to a part of their own society? And if the black eyes had done it then what were the assassins doing? As part of the town of Windermere they had to protect it and its people! A measly group bandits were hardly enough to beat them, (Five of them couldn't even beat her!)

She buckled her coat up tight and then left the house as quickly as she'd entered. Without paying any attention to anyone she marched onwards and further east.

* * *

Kili couldn't help but feel aggravated; since being made aware of the flaming village Braerka hadn't even so much as looked at him, let alone acknowledge him. It didn't make him feel any better when she had left soon after, seemingly oblivious to everything and buried in her thoughts.

What infuriated him most was the thought that something so far away could make her so dismissive of everything and everyone so close to her.

_'Was this what Thorin had meant when he said it wouldn't work between them?' _he wondered_._

He hastily filled his new haversack. Beorn had been kind enough to provide them with anything they needed on top of having already given them room and board. He moved so quickly he unfolded the already folded blankets and spare shirts.

"Will you slow down?! She won't get that far ahead of us, besides she's bound to come to her senses sooner or later! She'll come back, I'm sure of it!" Fili told him, trying desperately to calm him.

"I know that place is kind of like home to her and that she probably knows people there but does she really have to just run off like that?!" Kili confided sharply to Fili as they speedily packed their own effects in an attempt to not let her get too far ahead.

"She's as unpredictable as the wind Kili! I thought you'd have noticed that by now! What with all the time you spend with her!" His brother answered sourly.

Kili stopped for a split second considering his words. In actual fact she had been anything but unpredictable while she was with him, quite the opposite in fact. Was that simply because she had been with him? Because she was in a safe environment with nothing to concern herself with but him?

He didn't like to think of it that way, didn't like to think that he was just something she used to distract herself when she was bored. He shook the thought from his head, choosing not to adhere to his fears.

"No! This is different, this is like almost no one exists, like there's something else making her do it!" he sighed before continuing, "What bugs me most is that she's going alone. Alone! I mean, what if it's those bandits or that someone else she was on about! What if it's a trap just for her and that's why they chose that town!"

Fili listened to his little brother as he reeled off his thoughts and too his own annoyance finding too much merit it them.

"You have a point, but don't you think that she's already considered that! That maybe..." Fili stopped himself, coming to a silent conclusion in his head.

"What is it?" Kili inquired figuring it had to something good.

"This someone else she was on about what if that's the reason she wants to go alone, I mean what if she doesn't want Thorin going because of them! Because they might be there?!"

"But wouldn't that be a little pointless? From what she said they seemed to be after her too, so…"

They both paused their movements joining in their contemplation.

"Why indeed?" Fili pondered, "Don't tell anyone about this, ok, we'll talk to her when we get a chance, and away from everyone else!"

Kili nodded tying off his pack. He couldn't help but wonder why Fili would want involvement in this, out of spite? Out of love for him? For her? He didn't dwell on it, he had to catch up to her first. He pulled on his jacket and then slipped his bow over his shoulders. He was ready for the road ahead.

* * *

Thorin prepared himself for his long-awaited continuation of what seemed to be his life-long quest, or at least of his life in recent years. He silently donned his pack and stood waiting outside for the stragglers to ready up and join him.

He stood separate and alone, a laborious look on his face. He was deep in thought, damning Braerka's actions and scolding himself for not trying harder to make her stay.

_'How could she be so cold?'_ he thought to himself, to do the very thing he had warned her she would. He convinced himself that there was some deeper reason for her actions, still he would need to talk to her about it.

He couldn't bring himself to see it as just simply "in her nature" no one, not even he, would be so heartless as to drop everything and everyone for something, regardless of what it was. Well, not instantaneously anyway.

He considered what she would be thinking, whether she would be regretting leaving so quickly or whether she was still in her headstrong march.

In a way he was to blame for this, she having been partly raised by him, would more than likely have developed this trait from him. Determined and headstrong, tenacious and ruthless in her goals… she was just like him. Perhaps that was another reason Kili and her saw eye to eye. He too was much like his uncle.

He looked up as the door creaked and the last few members of his company joined them, his nephews among them. To Thorin's surprise Kili looked to be handling being abandoned all too well, Fili must have fed him words to make him believe it would soon pass and that she would soon be running into his arms again. He greatly doubted it but wouldn't dare bereave him of the hope.

Approaching footsteps drew his attention, Gandalf and Beorn deep in whispered conversation moved closer to him. Beorn whistled, a loud and piercing noise, and several ponies appeared seemingly from nowhere and made their way to each of the dwarves. Gandalf stood dolefully and regarded him.

"Are we all ready?" the wizard asked him, as a tall stallion approached him.

Thorin raised an eyebrow, and looked to his company, they were all ready, even the hobbit was ready, did the wizard really need oral confirmation of it.

Thorin nodded and motioned for them to get a move on thinking that the quicker they set off the sooner he could have a word with his free spirit of a daughter.

"These mounts are some of the fastest and most loyal in all of middle-earth, besides the Mearas of course, keep them safe. And be sure to turn them back once you have reached Mirkwood, I would not dare have any of my friends set paw or hoof inside that place!" He said, as they each mounted their own.

Seconds later they had set off at a moderate speed in the hopes of catching up to Braerka sooner or later.

* * *

Braerka had been sprinting for a good half hour when she suddenly stopped, a whirlwind of thoughts and terrors unfurling in the forefront of her mind.

_'What in the hell are you doing?!'_ A voice cried out to her. _'You are walking to your death!'_

She shook the voice from her head and slowly began to move onwards.

"No I'm not!" She answered it aloud, her tone angered and irritation, "I've got everything I need!"

The voice spat back angrily at her, almost hissing in anger, _'NO! YOU DON'T! What of the Reaver? Eh? Where is it?'_ It questioned her.

Again Braerka stopped, in all the confusion and chaos in her mind she hadn't even considered it, and now she would have to go back for it. As she turned another much too late consideration popped into her head.

"Kili!" She gasped, cupping her mouth and barely containing the want to strike herself. _'You idiot! You absolute dollop head!' _She silently scolded herself.

Then it dawned on her that if she were to carry on it would seem like she had forgotten him, _'which you kinda did!'_ The voice in her head cried.

She shook her head and sighed, she was subconsciously eating herself over this and would be for a while, or at least until she felt she had served enough penance for it. She could imagine the look on Thorin's face when she returned, a scolding fatherly glare that would say, _'I told you this would happen!'_

Braerka stood among the sparsely scattered trees, the rustling of their leaves the only noise to be heard. As peaceful as it was she found it rather odd, where were all the animals? The birds and foxes and the loud crickets?

She rubbed her temples trying not to think, but it was impossible. It was in her nature to worry about everyone and everything; a trait she both loved and hated. It was responsible for pretty much all the trouble she had ever gotten into, she despised the fact that she felt the need to help and to protect everyone, even those that sometimes didn't deserve it.

She sighed loudly and turned back to face the way she had come. It looked the exact same as it had when she was walking up it, she was unsure of why she was expecting it to have changed.

Taking her thoughts into account she pressed onwards back towards Beorn's, hoping that the others (especially Thorin and Kili) wouldn't be too annoyed at her absentmindedness. She tried to walk enthusiastically, but it wasn't happening she was still subconsciously beating herself over her moment's weakness.

All of a sudden as if it wanted her to stop the little voice in her head cried out again_, 'Now! What are you doing?'_

Yet again she stopped confused at what her subconscious was yelling at her for.

"Going to get the Soul Reaver! What else?!" she told it angrily_, 'I think I'm going mad! Why am I talking to myself?'_ she finished in her head, wondering if this private method of thought was locked off to this voice.

"You went mad a long time ago!" the voice told her, (thought was clearly not a safe method).

She shook her head and pressed on again, determined to get back to them as quickly as possible. All the while she couldn't help but wonder where this voice had actually come from, it had never been there before, so why show up now?

'_Isn't is obvious?!'_ it spat at her, having eavesdropped on her private thoughts. She furrowed her brow but continued to walk. In all honesty to Braerka it really wasn't obvious in the slightest. _'Humph! Any wonder he took it!'_

_'Took it? Took what?'_ she pondered its words. It didn't answer and instead remained strangely quiet, she continued to walk and not before long becoming angered at it.

_'Why of all the times does my mind choose now to lose it?!_' she wondered. Yet again she sighed giving up on the now silent voice.

She looked back towards Windermere and noticed she hadn't moved any more than a few yards. She was getting nowhere and quite suddenly felt exhausted. Unexpectedly her breathing became shallow and heavy, she felt a coldness cling to her skin.

She wiped her brow and then felt a wave of dizziness wash over her. She regarded her hands, they were cold and clammy and shaking uncontrollably. She felt so dazed that she could barely think.

_'What…. The…?'_ she tried to think before collapsing almost into unconsciousness. She tried to control her breathing but it wasn't working. She gasped and sighed trying to calm herself. She couldn't.

For a moment she thought she had passed out, crouched and in pain, the edges of her visions blurred and she could hear the crack of a raging fire. She heard panicked screams and men shouting. She looked up and slowly rose to a standing position; the forest around her had melted into the form of Windermere, only less appeasing than she remembered.

The buildings were falling into piles of molten rubble, the street stalls were scattered; the owners wares littered the streets and burned with it. Civilians ran in every direction fleeing from the still unknown threat.

Braerka stood outwardly invisible among them and watched the turmoil unfurl. A black smog filled the air and made it difficult to see what was really going on she listened to the chaos and spun on the spot to take in her surroundings.

It was when one of the villagers yelled at her to move that she became very concerned, if this was all in her head, how was it that they could see her?

As dreamlike as this was she felt wasn't sleeping, in her earlier dreams the scenes morphed and changed but this was constant and rather unnerving, and they could see her. Could it be that she had actually transported herself there? _'No that's impossible!'_ she asserted.

She felt hands on her and someone began shaking her roughly and yelling her name. Her vision focused the image of Winderemere faded and familiar and worried looking face came into view.

"Kili?" she questioned, not sure if this was still her mind playing tricks of if it was actually real.

"Finally!" he sighed exasperated and relieved. He clapped his hands to his forehead and then hugged her tightly.

Braerka was confused to say the least, why was he so relieved? She looked at him questioningly when he pulled back and seconds later he spoke.

"I must have called you about a dozen times, if not more! You didn't answer, what was going on? You looked like you were entranced or something?!" he said, ending with a questioning tone.

Braerka would have answered straight away only for the fact that she wasn't entirely certain what had happened.

"I'm… I'm not sure exactly…" she began, before recalling why she had turned back. She shook her head appalled at herself for having to apologise for something so silly. "I'm sorry for leaving so abruptly…" she started but he stopped her.

"Forget about that, what happened?" he pressed her.

She shook her head again, why was he so cool with this he should be furious, she would be if he'd done what she had. "Forget it? No, Kili, I…"

Again she cut her off, "I don't mind that you forgot about me or that you felt the need to leave so suddenly! I understand why!" he told.

_'He understands? What is he…'_ in that moment she wasn't really sure she was hearing him properly.

"How did you get here so quickly?" she finally asked, finding it strange how she had been walking for a long while and remembering clearly that no one had followed her.

"Beorn gave us ponies, I dismounted back there, and please Braerka are you alright? You look like death!" he answered.

She looked past him and saw an average sized, chestnut pony grazing on the grass. Well that part checked out but if Beorn had given all of them one where were the others. As if reading her mind he answered her query.

"I rode ahead of the others…" he said, "… I had a feeling something was wrong."

She still was trusting of her senses, what she had just seen had startled her and she wasn't about to take any chances.

"How do I know you're real?" she pressed him, worry over-riding what should have absolute certainty in his existence.

"What do mean, 'am I real'? Of course I'm real! Look at me!" he said moving closer to her. She unintentionally stepped back, just in case.

"Look…" he pleaded, he pulled the fabric of her torn coat pocket from his own pocket. "...you used this to clean my wounds by the river, remember, you didn't see me take it, and I made sure of that. I'm pretty sure a figment of your imagination wouldn't be able to show you something you weren't aware of!"

She looked at him processing his words and seeing he was being truthful and was in fact, more than likely real, she relaxed. She sighed and took in a deep breath glad in the knowledge that he was real. He too sighed.

In that knowledge she hugged him tightly, and held him close for a while, before he moved back yet again and looked her in the eye.

"Are you alright?" he asked again.

"I'm… I'm fine Kili, I just, I… I'm not really sure what happened…" she began slowly, taking her time as her thoughts gathered and she tried to make sense of it all. "I was coming back, to you and… and… to be honest I'm not really sure… one second I was here the next I wasn't… it was… it was… I don't know how to describe it but it felt so real like I was actually there…"

Kili looked at her trying his best to understand and make sense of what she was telling him, she could see he was at a loss for words. His gaze wandered from her eyes to the ground as he tried to think of a way to explain it all but nothing seemed to come to him.

Braerka didn't blame him for his loss of words or explanation, she too in his position would have been more than a little confused and she actually was. This had never happened before, anytime she had perceived something of the future or one of her nightmares she had always been asleep or unconscious at least. How she had been able to transport herself there and actually witness it all and be seen by the people there was disturbing, what was happening to her? Was this all apart of not having the Reaver? While it was a large jump to make it had been the first conclusion her mind had made. It may not have been sound or even have a logical thought base behind it but it seemed plausible to her somehow.

She looked up on hearing the loud and bustling noise of approaching hooves, the others had caught up and her private time with Kili was over.

* * *

Thorin rode his pony right on up to his so-called daughter. Though his initial reaction to seeing her was anger and annoyance, when he got close to her, however, it diffused into concern. She was pale, too pale to be well. She looked as if she'd seen a ghost, _'what had happened?' _he wondered.

However much he wanted to check if she was alright, he had already expressed his annoyance to Dwalin and didn't want to back down because she looked as if in shock. He opened his mouth to speak when she began just before him.

"Before you scold me like the child you think I am, I have already seen the error of my way and was actually on my way back, so I don't need you to tell me what I've done or what I should have done or any differently, alright?!" she told him.

He could hear the underlying tone of aggression and annoyance. He looked to Kili for an explanation or at least some hint as to the cause of this but his eyes were fixed on her, concern and worry carved into his features.

He would have to look into this or perhaps he shouldn't, as she told him, she was a responsible adult, she could handle her own problems, maybe he should let her work this out on her own. He thought for a split second before choosing not to help.

"Fine." He began dejectedly, his tone was serious and his expression plain, "I'm glad you decided to see your error… get on your pony we're burning daylight."

He spurred his own pony onward as she directed an angry glare at him, she appeared to want to be alone, or at least in peace and quiet, he would leave to her thoughts, he had learned in life that the mind of a woman was sometimes a dark and complicated place.

* * *

Hours seemed to pass as they trotted on together, Thorin and Gandalf remained at the head of the group and lead the way. The others had formed a somewhat orderly line behind them and conserved in quiet speech.

Braerka lagged behind them, trying to understand why what happened had happened. Thinking hard about all the dreams she'd had, brought her to the conclusion that they were all connected in some way, but how and why?

She had concluded that this was meant to happen somehow. She had deemed the black pillar of smoke rising from Windermere as one and the same as the one she saw in her first dream back in Rivendell. But then that mean that there was the possibility of all her dreams being real or true to some degree, to her that didn't bode well.

All her dreams consisted of fire, was it a prelude of what was to come? Of Smaug and his fire raining down from the sky once more? If it was it was up to her to do something. And telling Thorin probably wouldn't be the best port of call.

A soft hand shaking her shoulder woke her from her deep thought and she looked up to see the ever-concerned brown eyes of Kili.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, she sighed loudly and purposely, she was tired of hearing that question, however much it was needed to be asked.

"Yes, I'm fine Kili, thank you." She said, with no lack of annoyance. She was a little shocked when he spoke back with equal annoyance but with vehemence in tow.

"You sure as hell don't look alright!" he exclaimed, she stared blankly at him. "You look like death itself Braerka!"

She considered his accusation, if she had a mirror she could confirm it but she trusted him and would take his word for it. She suddenly felt cold and a shiver ran up her spine. Kili leaned across on his pony and took her ungloved hand. He looked up to her with increased worry in his eyes.

"Yet again you're freezing! I don't understand it!" he exclaim, trying to warm her awkwardly from his mount.

"What do you mean?" She questioned, how could he not understand her being cold? Wasn't everyone cold?

"Back in the Goblin Town you were so warm, I could feel the heat radiating off you from about a foot away but now you're like ice! It's like everything that happened between then and now has drained you!" He explained, he thought for a moment then continued, "It's almost like that crystal has taken all the life from you!"

His last words struck her with an idea she could never have come up with without him. The crystal, since it had been taken from her, had possibly been stealing her life essence and making her cold? How? Why hadn't she noticed? Then another thing struck her, the voice in her head, was it the crystal calling out? It had after all reminded her about the Reaver.

She suddenly felt worried herself, what if the reason she looked 'like death' as Kili had put it was because the crystal was still feeding off her essence was more or less because it wasn't with her.

"Are you even listening?!" she heard him hiss angrily from her side.

"I'm sorry, was just… thinking…" she told him.

"About what? The Crystal? The vision?" he asked indiscreetly.

_'He's suddenly very interested…'_ she thought_,'…either that or just concerned…'_

"Both actually, I think they might be connected, but perhaps not…" she began, then she paused, _'perhaps getting it back would help prove some of it.'_ She thought.

She spurred her on pony forward charging past Kili. She ignored his pleas and trotted to the front of the group and to Gandalf's side.

"Give me the crystal." She demanded.

Gandalf was indifferent to her request and continued staring ahead of himself and leading the way. Thorin gave her a sideways glance.

"Gandalf…" she allowed herself to breath, calming her urgency, "…please, it's important."

Only then did the wizard turn to face her and then spoke to her coolly, "Wait a while longer, I am testing something myself."

_'Testing? Testing what?'_ she wondered before verbally asking him.

"I will tell you when I am finished with it." He said bluntly, turning his head forward and carrying on as normal.

She growled angrily before turning her pony aside and waiting for the others to pass, she felt like being alone and being at the back was as close as she was going to get for now.

* * *

Gandalf chuckled to himself when Braerka growled and drew back from his side. Thorin wondered what he could be finding so funny.

"You would do best to not mess with her, she was always good at holding grudges." He warned the wizard.

"Have you not noticed?" Gandalf asked him.

"Noticed what?" he questioned, "Is it something to do with your test?"

The wizard harrumphed, "As a matter of fact it does. Tell me, have you noticed a difference in her behaviour?"

Thorin thought for a while, having only known her as a child he was in no position to make comparisons in her behaviour. Still he had noticed a slight change between her and 'The Shepherd'.

"Not really, she seems more expressive I suppose." He finally answered.

"In what way?" Gandalf pressed him.

"She expresses her opinion more." He repeated with more force.

"In what way?" Gandalf asked again. Thorin wasn't sure what he was getting at and gave him a questioning look.

"I see no difference." Thorin then stated angrily.

Gandalf humped and looked over his shoulder, "Does she not seem angrier to you?"

Thorin considered this for a moment, then he was swamped in realization. She had, in fact, been much angrier and more irritable of late. When they had duelled he had first noticed it, then again it was noticeable when she saw Windermere. But why?

"Yes, but what has it got to do with your little experiment?" he asked the wizard.

Gandalf shifted in his saddle and composed himself for his answer. "I believe it has something to do with the Reaver. Also Kili has told me of her abnormal body temperature, that she had been very cold of late, I believe this too is connected to the gem."

Thorin stroked his beard. "How? It's only a crystal it can't control her thoughts or actions!" he concluded, "Can it?"

Both he and Gandalf sighed and pondered it. If Gandalf was right, that the gem was in some way connected to her being was it wrong of him to take it from her was it slowly killing her.

"I am not entirely sure but we must keep our minds open to all possibilities, besides it is most likely that she of the line of descent that I believe she is."

"And what line of descent would that be?" Thorin asked, he was not given an answer which only lead him to wonder what other secrets she was keeping or if perhaps she had no knowledge of what Gandalf spoke of.

* * *

It wasn't long before they reach the forest edge, they were about to cross the threshold and pass into Mirkwood. From where they stood now the woodland looked rather welcoming but from what they'd seen atop the Carrock it was far from it.

Braerka looked into the forest from her mount, the trees were close and space for air, thin. There was a penetrating darkness that appeared to consume all the light, she dreaded the prospect of having to enter.

The others began dismounting and unstrapping their packs, at this she became confused.

"Aren't we taking the ponies?" she asked.

"Beorn said we could only take them as far as the forest edge." Fili sighed clearly annoyed at having to do so. He donned his pack and sent his pony on its way, as did the others.

Reluctantly she complied, she slide off her colt and lifted the haversack from its rear, sending it on its way as the others did.

Gandalf watched as Thorin began down the forest path, she couldn't help but notice he was making no attempt to dismount.

"Come on Gandalf, you're going to get left behind at this rate!" she told, half in attempt to provoke some action from and also in attempt to find out why he hadn't moved.

"You missed quite a bit when you ran off Miss Braerka… you see I will not be going with you. As I am not part of the company I may do what I wish, besides there are some important matters I must attend to." He explained, pulling in the reins on his ride and turning the pale broken stallion about.

Braerka thought he was pulling her leg, "Ha-ha, come on… you know they'd be dead without your help, I dread to think what will happen in there!"

She turned to read his expression it hadn't remotely changed, he was being serious, and he really was leaving them.

"But Gandalf you can't!"

"Oh yes I can and I am. There are things I need to see to, they will have to make do without me for a while. Besides I'm pretty sure you'll be able to take care of them without me." He told her.

"But..!" she made to argue but he stopped her.

"Don't." he said once, it was luckily enough to stop her.

Braerka once again felt angry, she had come to notice that recently she was easily irritated and by the most silly of things. However since it had happened so frequently, she had learned to supress it.

She glowered at him as her rage faded into the background of her emotions. Not so much to her surprise the voice from earlier came back asking about the crystal, like her anger she repressed it but only just. It seemed stronger or something, like it needed it.

Even still she couldn't help herself, she herself would've asked about it regardless of the voice. But she didn't need to ask, seconds later Gandalf was rummaging through his own bag. He lifted out a small package, just big enough to fill his palm. He handed it to her.

"Finally!" she sighed ungratefully, feeling the familiar shape of the crystal from within it. Laxly moving to take it from his grasp, but he held onto it.

"I am unsure if I should be giving this to you, but I'm sure it should come in handy, perhaps." He told her, his stare stern and serious. "Good luck in there," he continued raising his voice so the others could hear, "Be sure to keep to the path, stray from it and you may get into all kinds of trouble."

With that he turned his horse and began down the forests edge following the main road. Braerka watched as he and then quickly unwrapped the small pouch, revealing a fading red to blue crystal.

As relieved as she felt to be cradling the small gem between her fingers, she had a deep feeling of regret and that having would only bring bad things to pass.

Then she realised Gandalf had never informed her of what his little test had been, but she somehow knew she would find out herself.

* * *

Hours had passed, the company followed the thin and winding road into the heart of the Mirkwood. Thorin lead the way, Balin close behind him and his nephews in tow. His heart set on getting out as quickly as possible he marched with a brisk pace and didn't stop.

For a forest Mirkwood was deathly quiet, the only noises to be heard was the odd rustle and the relentless thud of their own steps.

The damp air made it hard to breath and the closeness of the trees made it difficult to see ahead. Though it wasn't any later than midday, it was as pitch black as midnight. There was not a single light to show them the way.

"Where the bloody hell are we?" Dori grumbled from behind him. He himself wasn't sure, but they had to be at least halfway through by now, with his brutal pace and incessant march had to have gotten that far at least.

"Aule knows! I've lost all sense of direction in this place!" Nori grumbled in response to his older brother's query.

"Braerka?!"Thorin began halting his progress and turning to face her, he could've laughed at the alarm in her expression but his coolness was unbroken. "As I recall, you were quite the skilled climber back in the day."

She smirked at him. At that moment he knew he was recalling correctly; and that she was pleased he could remember and was encouraging the skill.

"Care to put it to use?" he then asked of her.

"Of course!" she answered half bowing in honour to him.

Seconds later she had bolted up the rough bough of the nearest tree and was nimbly clambering her way up and out of sight.

"Whoa." Fili said gawking at where she had once been, "Skilled is not the word, Uncle! She's an expert!"

Thorin snuffed and folded his arms and stood taller awaiting her return.

"She's taking her time…" Balin interjected after several minutes had passed

Thorin groaned and deep and throaty growl. She had been too long for the task she had been given.

"Bilbo?" he asked.

The hobbit squeaked and half jumped out of his skin, he fiddled clumsily with something, stuffing it in his pocket before he turned to face Thorin.

"Yes?" he questioned.

Thorin simply nodded up, gesturing for him to follow her up.

"What me? No I couldn't." he argued. Thorin glared unwilling to argue but hoping to maybe even scare the hobbit into action; it wasn't working.

"We're all too big and bulky to go climbing through that, you are small and nimble enough, so… off you pop!" explained Bofur, giving Bilbo a boost up.

Reluctantly the hobbit began climbing and like Braerka was soon out view. Again they waited, too long. The dark of this place seemed to creep into your very soul and Thorin wasn't liking it one bit, his soul itched to be out in the open with a cool breeze enveloping him but like the others he would have to wait.

* * *

Bilbo awkwardly made his way up, stepping up the branches and pulling himself ever higher. He found it surprisingly easy, with the little experience he had he was amazed at how easily he scaled it.

His true amazement however lay in the sight he saw upon breaking the canopy. Pure light blinded him, his eyes more adjusted to the gloom below.

His vision focused and he saw before him, forest for miles and miles. The strong breeze cooled his clammy skin, and the fresh air was more than welcome.

Looking about he saw Braerka head deep in her journal scrawling a rough sketch of the landscape.

"Hey..." he began, settling himself upon the highest of branches.

"Hey… beautiful isn't it?" she asked him.

He nodded and watched as she finished up and slipped her book into her bag, the strap barely clinging on by the threads she had sewn.

He slipped his hand into his pocket absentmindedly and began messing with the golden ring inside it. Though it was just a simple looking ring, the fact that it had aided his escape and was able to make him invisible made it all the more interesting. He had determined that there was perhaps an inscription of some kind engraved on it but no. No matter how hard he looked there was nothing that resembled any kind of engraving, not even a forge mark.

He had thought about sharing it with her, she was after all the first one to accept him, even if she had lied and pretended to be someone else. He felt he could trust her.

"Come on Bilbo…" she said, making to descend the trees, "I'm sure they'll say we've been up here for hours, time passes so damn slowly down there."

He barely heard her, his mind still deeply embedded in thought. But is that instant he plucked up the courage.

"Can you look at something for me?" he speedily asked.

She stalled her descent and returned to him.

"Yeah, of course, anything…what exactly?"

He simply lifted out the ring and handed it her. She took it and flipped about in her fingers.

"It's a ring." She told him plainly, her expression puzzled.

"It's a magic ring" he told her. Her face became more confused. "You know when you asked me if I found anything "precious", I found that. I'll assume you met that creature?!"

"More or less bumped into it but yeah." She answered her tone bland recalling the event, "You say it's magic? How?"

He took it back and slipped it on demonstrating it powers of invisibility and then quickly removed it.

"Wow, did you show Gandalf?" she asked gobsmacked. He shook his head.

"Only you." He told her.

She ruffled her hair and then looked him in the eye. "You really should've told the wizard! I'm no expert but it's definitely magic, might come in handy, then again it could be dangerous, who knows?!"

Bilbo was weary of what appeared to be a deceitful look in the far depths of her eyes. Was it that she wanted it or craved it?

_'Don't be silly, she's a friend'_ he told himself, he looked to her again, seeing the apparent look had faded or perhaps was never there.

"Come on, they'll eat us if we don't; hurry up!" she urged him.

"Don't tell anyone!" he warned her.

"Of course not." She said with a worried tone, but she continued to clamber down and he quickly followed.

* * *

Thorin became more and more agitated with every passing second.

_'What is taking them so long?'_ he wondered, though it had been no more than a few minutes, it felt like they had been gone for hours.

The darkness slowed the passing of time to the point where each second felt like an age.

There was the rustling of leaves and then the graceful landing of Braerka closely followed by Bilbo's not so graceful fall.

He allowed them a few seconds to dust themselves off and to remove the leaves from their hair before pressing them.

"Well?" he asked.

"I have no idea where we are." Braerka answered, pulling out the last of the crumpled leaves from her hair.

"We're over halfway through though?" Nori input eager to hear that they were. Braerka was sad to be the bearer of bad news.

"Honestly? I have no idea, it's green forest as far as the eye can see from up there!" she explained, Bilbo nodded in agreement, though it was difficult to see him.

Thorin huffed and puffed before turning back to the road.

"Come on then, we've still a fair bit to cover then." He ordered moving on along the road.

* * *

A whole day passed and what had started out as a simple walk through the forest had become a relentless and rather annoying hike.

Braerka longed to scale the trees once more, if only for a second just to feel the cold of the air against her skin. Not being able to see much, though her eyes had adjusted, was one thing and she could live with that but with being a free spirit, no fresh air and no freedom to move was getting to her.

It wasn't until the entire company began complaining of hunger and exhaustion that Thorin finally stopped them. They sat and quietly shared what little food they had left among themselves, keeping to the lightest shadows and not lighting a fire; for it would likely attract more that it would scare off.

"We've barely any food left, we'll have to start rationing." Dwalin told Thorin. As a leader he had already determined that this would probably happen and had mentally prepared.

Braerka knew him just well enough to know that deep down he was envisioning the worst case scenario, his outer shell was calm and collected but his eyes were a broken window into his soul, sharing all his worst nightmares with those caring enough to notice.

"There's bound to be something we can forage!" exclaimed Gloin, rising to his feet and rubbing his hands together. The fact that there was no heat nor fire was irritating him enough and the thought of having little or no food was making him even more so.

Braerka sat tangled in Kili's arms her own clinging tightly to him. She had noticed that since they had entered Mirkwood he had become colder, perhaps sick, and it worried her. He wouldn't be able to properly defend himself if he was ill.

The only thing confusing her was the fact he insisted he was fine, that he was of normal state of mind and that there was nothing wrong.

He tightened his arms around her and pulled her close to him after she had nudged forward in a pre-emptive motion to prevent Gloin from marching off the main road.

"Hmmm…. You're so warm!" he breathed into her neck, burying his nose into her.

She smirked and hugged his arms tighter. Then something clicked, she was warm, the last time he had passed comment on her temperature she had been freezing, and now she was warm. She moved her gaze downward to where the Reaver lay hidden beneath her shirt. Could it be that it was responsible? That her assumptions had been right. It did make sense, the Reaver did possess pyrotechnic abilities perhaps it could keep her warm.

Gloin by now had edged too close to the forest edge and was being warned back by Dwalin, an argument ensued, one which Braerka wasn't going to stop.

She ignored their incessant spouting of curses at each other and revelled in Kili's hold. The same thoughts crossed her mind, again and again. Then she decided she would put it into action.

She pushed her way out of Kili's arms and turned to face him.

_'No going back' _she told herself.

"What?" he asked her suspicious of the somewhat concerned look on her features.

"I want to try something." She told him firmly. He smirked clearly expecting some sort of embrace or stroke but what came bewildered him.

He watched as she undid the top button of her shirt, his heart began to race then dimmed when she produced the crystal. He subconsciously cursed Gandalf for returning it to her.

She removed it from her neck and then looked at him. "Trust me" she said desperately. She then moved the put it on him.

"What?! NO!" he started, pushing her arms back. "I am not wearing that!"

She looked at him disgruntled and annoyed. A pleading look in her glowing eyes.

"I said NO! I saw what it did to you! What it's still doing to you! I am not going to put it on!"

She sighed loudly and lowered her hands. "Trust me, please" she said again. "If anything happens you can personally skin me alive if you want! You can even haunt me if it comes to it! Just please let me try this one thing!"

He eyed her and the gem warily. "Alright, but you know I wouldn't want to skin you anyway so… but I will most definitely haunt you! *sigh* Get it over with then." He said giving in to her.

She slipped the gem over his head and let it lie around his neck. Kili was sure to keep one eye on it and the other on her.

At first nothing happened, then suddenly the Reaver's pure blue colour began marring and changing, crimson red taking its place, Kili moved to removed it but Braerka stopped him.

"Do you want it to burn me to a crisp?!" he spat, fighting her hold.

"It won't."

"You can't know that!"

"It won't. You won't hurt him will you?" she asked the gem.

_'Oh god! She's lost it! She's gone completely mad! She's talking to it now! What next?!' _he thought_. 'Blasted wizard! You shouldn't have given it back to her!'_

But then something amazing happened, the crystal flashed a sharp pale blue and the red faded. It then turned and golden yellow before changing again and settling with a bright purple glow.

Kili felt a sudden wave of heat swim over him and settle, _'Oh god its burning me!'_ he thought, snapping his eyes shut and waiting for the maker to take his soul.

"Kili? Open your eyes silly!" he heard her beckon him.

One by one he opened his eyes, he was still alive, still breathing, but so much warmer.

"What? How? How did you know that would work?" he asked.

"Um… well I sort of didn't." she told him, half smirking and relieved it had actually worked.

His eyes widened with the realisation that he had been the Guinea pig in all this.

"What made you think it would work?" he then asked trying to find her reasoning behind it.

"You said I was warm. Before we left Beorn's I was always cold to you, but now I'm warm, I concluded that it had something to do with the Reaver." She explained.

"And what made you think it wouldn't try to kill me?" he pressed her.

She simply smirked and leaned in close to him, kissing him softly on the lips.

"The fact that I love you too much to even let it try!" she said, speaking softly and sultry into his ear.

At these words he became so calm, he couldn't' help but kiss her back. Before he knew it they were once again battling for supremacy in the act, despite where they were and what was going on.

"Oh please! Get a room!" he heard his brother snap at them. He ignored him, subtly raising his hand to sign an insult at him in the dark, which he hopefully wouldn't be seen.

"I see a light!" someone called.

"Where?" said someone else.

"There! I see it too!" Fili joined them.

Braerka sharply broke away from him and went to see what all the fuss was about, Kili followed.

Everyone including himself had instinctively pulled their weapons out and were ready for just about anything.

"What do ya suppose it is?" asked Dori.

"Mahal knows! But it better not be dangerous!" Balin quipped.

Kili twitched his ear, being younger he and his brother had the keenest of hearing.

"Can you hear music?" he asked Fili. Fili followed suit, knocking his head to the side and listening closely.

"Aye, I do!" he replied after a short while.

"I hear nothing!" Dwalin interjected. "Thorin?"

Kili turned and saw his uncle, his brow furrowed and unsure of what to do. He had never seen his uncle so confused or lost.

"We stay here. On the road. Like Gandalf said." he ordered. Some of the older ones relaxed and turned to sit, but Gloin still riled from earlier insisted upon checking.

"We should at least check! They might have food, spare supplies, fresh water!" he said trying to buy them in with false hopes.

No one conformed. It was only when he decided to go on his own that people began moving.

He sped out across the threshold of the road and towards the light, cursing as he went. The company shouted after him, he didn't hear them.

"Get back here now!" Oin growled and loudly as his aged voice would allow him.

It was when Braerka ran after him that the lights seemed to vanish and all sounds ceased.

* * *

**AN: Ok guys, R&R please, tell me what you think, and please feel free to criticise my very bad time-keeping skills :P**


	23. Chapter 23: Lost in the Woods

**Chapter 23: Lost in the Woods**

Braerka continued towards the lights and was taken aback when they suddenly vanished. The company's calls had long since died and she was alone in the penetrating dark of Mirkwood. A once great, peaceful and welcoming place drained of its beauty and life, now a desolate breeding ground for the dark spawn of ungoliant.

The darkness blurred and a small figure ran past her. She turned trying to follow it but the dark was so absolute she lost whoever it was.

An image of her earlier dreams flashed across her mind. Then another and another. It was as if her subconscious was trying to fill the nothingness around her with something, anything it could. The images were relentless, they continuously changed, going in a never ending loop. They pained her and brought back the guilt she had felt not a day earlier. It was her fault they were dying. It was her fault all of this was happening.

A soft jolt pulled her back into reality. Her vision blurred and once again she was able to see. In front of her she saw Oin, old as he was, wrestling in a manner with Gloin. The fiery hot-tempered redhead spat reels of khuzdul at his elder.

"Fool!" spat Balin from her side, "Now we're lost!"

_'Lost?'_ Braerka thought. It didn't seem possible to her that they could be lost, seconds ago they had been on the road, she had merely step forward to stop Gloin.

She then struggled to recall what happened after. There was an emptiness and dark hazy shadow that loomed in her mind. Had she been envisioning those images on the move? Seeing while conscious was scary enough, but practically blacking out and not being aware of what she was doing, it terrified her.

She ignored the others as they prattled on electing who was to blame for this mishap. She had her own problems, this 'ability', or whatever it was, was developing too quickly for her liking. The next thing she feared was losing herself to it altogether. A deep and overwhelming fear took hold of her and she forced the thoughts as far away as they would go.

"Where in the hell is that light coming from?" Gloin spat standing shielding his eyes from the new brightness that his eyes were so unused to.

Braerka turned surprised to see he was not just seeing things. The darkness that inhabited the wood was gone, or rather lessened by an ethereal glow behind her. There was none other than Kili standing straight, sword drawn and ears sharp, the Soul Reaver shining bright like a torch around his neck.

He caught her eyes and smiled at her. She returned it most sincerely loving the way the light lit him. It seemed the Reaver was good for more than just keeping you warm and healing your wounds. But why? Why all a sudden manifest these abilities now?

From the corner of her eye she saw Thorin close in on him, a hint of anger barely there but irritation clearly evident.

"Take that thing off!" He shouted at his nephew, not giving him a second to comply and snatching it off himself. The chain snapped at his brute force and Kili jolted forward.

Thorin cast it to the ground, its light fading as it went ever further away from Kili. _'Perhaps it's something only he can do?' _She wondered, opening her mind to the possibility that it wasn't just hers.

Thorin marched back and forth fuming and struggling to repress his anger. He was in charge and because of Gloin's weakness they were now lost, far from the road with no sense of direction.

She could feel his anger from the distance she stood, it was as if it was also her anger. It was a peculiar sensation which was far too normal.

Sensing he was about to burst she nimbly retrieved the Reaver and, while slipping it into her pocket, moved toward him.

"It could be worse..." She told him, trying to make him see the better side of their situation. Unlike how it used to it didn't work. He sighed angrily and pushed past her, wandering further in the direction they had been moving.

"Come on!" He huffed, "may as well see where this will lead us, not like we can get any more lost! Is it?!"

Slowly the company moved into action, their bags lost to wherever they had just been and only their weapons and each other for company. Things lately had been going from bad to worse and as usual Braerka felt responsible.

"I should never have come..." She thought silently as she too began moving.

* * *

Kili kept his guard up and his senses sharp. Being on the road in the now degraded Mirkwood was bad enough but lost in middle of nowhere was something else entirely. In the chaos that ensued after Gloin ran off they had strayed from the road and were now completely lost. They had no food and whatever water they left in their personal canteens was all they had. There was no way they were to survive this now, not without help at least.

Kili could understand why Thorin had reacted the way he did to him wearing the soul Reaver. It had nearly completely destroyed Braerka and had pretty much killed Azog. His sharp reactions and snatching grasp was to be expected but still he felt his uncle wrong to do so.

Thorin, stubborn with his own ideals and expectations, would not open his eyes to see the usefulness the crystal bore but then there was just reason for that too. He didn't know was it was capable of...

He, as the others did, stood silent and watchful of the forest around them and could do nothing but follow were Thorin lead. He stayed as far back as he could and found himself freely welcoming the donning of the crystal again when Braerka slipped it back on having replaced the chain with a strip of leather.

"To keep you warm..." she whispered to him, tucking it beneath his shirt so Thorin would not see it. He smirked at her slyness; she was the forest minx that tugged on his heart strings and the woman that own it completely. He had never thought that love would have ever so easily claimed him but now that it had he saw how powerful it truly was.

As it did in the foul forest, time passed slowly. They walked silently for fear of attracting any unwanted attention. They were dreary and tired, hungry and parched. What food they had gone and their canteens baring only the tiniest of droplets.

No doubt each of them was immersed in their own thoughts and worries but one sound struck hope into each of their hearts.

"D'ya hear that?" asked Dwalin.

"Water?" questioned Bofur.

Bifur muttered in khuzdul and surprisingly Braerka understood.

"Yea, must be a river…" she said, spryly skipping up to Thorin's side and turning him by his shoulders to face her, "… we could use it! Not just for fresh water but we could follow it right? Where there's water there's life!"

The company's ears pricked up at her words. Each looked to Thorin, their eyes pleading for him to adhere to her idea. Though they would follow him regardless of what he chose but they were always hopeful.

He nodded sharply, and gave charge to Dwalin, who eagerly began leading the way. Kili followed closely and didn't notice Braerka being held back by Thorin.

* * *

Braerka was shocked to say the least when Thorin slammed her against a nearby tree. The shockwave of force that pushed her was not painful but it hurt her feelings to be treated so roughly.

She gripped his wrist tightly and eased the pressure he had place on her chest.

"What the hell? Thorin?" she sniped breathlessly.

"What are you playing at?" he quipped back.

While she wished she didn't, she had an inkling that this was about the Reaver.

"What do you mean?" she asked at a loss for words.

"You know full well what I mean Braerka!" he snapped, "Don't you dare, ever put that thing near my nephews again! It is evil and while you seem resistant they may not be, they are my heirs, my sister's sons, I cannot let them come to harm, by any means…"

"I meant nothing by it, it was just an experiment… it…" she began but was stopped short; Thorin had no ear for her explanations in this place.

"Enough. No excuses, just don't do it again." He told her.

She swallowed hard, having already broken this rule; Kili was already wearing it and a fair distance away. But still she nodded, and Thorin loosed his grip apologising for his insolence in that moment.

"Where is it?" he asked, his voice at that moment more calm that she would have expected. He turned to face her and looked into her eyes. She didn't need to tell him, the guilty look on her face was enough to let him know. She was, while being a fairly good liar, not so good at hiding her guilt, especially when it existed.

"Argh!" Thorin growled turning and marching in the others direction.

This left Braerka to herself, which after all that had happened of late when she was alone, she didn't like. She slowly moved after him, not sure whether it was a side effect of her shock or just her fatigue setting in. The voice in her head that had become all too friendly with her conscience returned and mocked her more.

"_Aww! Don't be sad, he just doesn't understand! He can never comprehend the power we have!"_ it spoke in a songlike tone.

'_We? What we? It's just me and whatever power you're on about, it doesn't exist!'_ she told it silently, following the freshly formed footprints of the others.

"_Oh but it does exist, I know it does, I've been around much longer you and I have felt it work. You want to know how I know it's real?" _it continued, speaking happily and jovially in her head.

'_Not really but I'm sure you, whatever you are, will tell me anyway!'_ she subconsciously snapped at it.

"_Oooh, I like it when you're cheeky!"_ it purred_, "and you're right I'm going to tell you anyway… the last one of your kind, your ancestor , the last Guardian to hold me, used it, he bore the power of all the souls both past, present and future, he created the spire and all it worldly treasures!"_ it sang.

Braerka listened closely, last one of your kind? Last Guardian? What was this voice, where had it come from? She couldn't seem to find a logical conclusion other than she was mad, this voice simply a manifestation of her madness and something that was goading her into usurpation and treachery.

'_What are you?'_ she finally asked, seeking only an answer to that question and forgetting the others.

It hummed a while before speaking, _"Don't you recognise me? You are my master, you preserve me you feed me and have done these past six decades, I in return give you life, and I keep you warm and heal all your ailments! I rest around your lover's neck! Without me, you would not be!"_

'_No way! You're… you're the… the Reaver!'_ she gasped, this voice that had nested within her mind was the Reaver. She couldn't believe it. She had thought perhaps it did have a consciousness but not on this scale, yes it had responded to her earlier questions by flashing etc but speaking! Having a full mind and thought process! This was almost unimaginable.

"_Shhh! Calm yourself! The others mustn't know of me, if they do I'll cease to exist as I am…"_ it warned her, the voice become softer and more childlike out of fear.

'_But how are you in my head?' _she questioned.

"_Uh uh. For me to know and for you to find out." _

Braerka instinctively brought her hand to cradle it only to recall Kili had it, she fisted her hands and felt a rage swell up. She felt it rise up in the waters of her soul, its banks about to burst. She needed the Reaver, she would protect it, and it was hers and no-one else's.

She sped along the treaded path and was taken from her mind on seeing the mess of dwarves before her. They piled against the river bank and relaxed as what air that could reach them from the break in canopy swept down. Her rage faded, perhaps because of the fresh air, who knows. But she was glad of it, she had been too angry lately and she didn't want to cause any more problems.

"So now we follow it yes?" asked Dori who was, as the others were, very eager to leave.

"It will be quicker if we cross." Thorin informed him.

"But Gandalf said not to stray…" Balin input.

"I think what Gandalf said lost its merit when we actually strayed Balin, crossing is quicker and more logical, and we'll only have to do it later otherwise." Thorin explained.

"But how?" Gloin questioned, and it was in all fairness a valid question. There was no way of crossing from where, not even any high enough rock to use as a stepping stone. Braerka could see no way of them crossing soon.

Thorin gave no heed to his question and moved upstream a little in an attempt to cross himself.

Braerka watched as Bombur parched from their arduous travels of late sat himself down and unstoppered his canteen. He sucked the last few drops from it and then drop it to his sat dissatisfied with what it had offered. He sighed loudly but was ignored by all, for they were too preoccupied with the task of crossing the river. Braerka however amused herself in watching them and from the corner of her eye Bombur himself.

She watched as he watched some of the others as they searched up and down the bank for a way across. His eyes following them from place to place as they went. He knew as well as she, there wasn't a way to cross, not their current position. They would have to move further upstream to find a point narrow enough cross safely.

Looking back to Bombur she watched him absentmindedly he draw his empty canteen to take another swig only to be reminded it was still in fact empty. He huffed before looking up at the noise of a loud splash, as did Braerka; Ori had dipped his foot in too deep and had almost been lost to the current.

Braerka turned back to find that Bombur although quite a bulky dwarf was faster and more nimble than one would expect. He had registered that they were in fact near a fresh water river. He need only fill his canteen, and so he did.

Bored of waiting she then decided to persuade Thorin otherwise of his plan. It was, after all, a waste of time.

"Thorin!" she called to him moving swiftly and with a light step, "This is pointless, we'd need a small boat to cross this, we should carry on and cross somewhere safer."

He took a moment to digest her words and when he made to answer he was stopped short.

Another loud splash echoed in their place as Bombur fell head first into the river.

"Bombur!" cried Bofur, running to his aid. He and several others successfully pulled him out after a few rocking attempts.

"Bombur?" Bofur repeated, slapping his brother's face lightly to coax him conscious. "Bombur? He's out cold!"

"Must be something in the water…" suggested Dori.

Braerka lifted the half-full canteen from his unconscious hands as Bofur and Bifur pulled him back from the river. _'This could come in handy' _she thought, pushing in the stopper and slipping into her own bag. She made sure no-one saw her.

Thorin marched back more aggravated than before. "What now?!" he bellowed loudly.

He was a wits end and was barely holding it together. The longer they stayed here the worse it would get, they had to get moving.

Braerka eyed him as he ran his fingers through his dirty and weathered hair, it was like he had returned to the day Erebor was taken. Then he was lost, on edge and unsure, it was like this place was making him remember, or perhaps it was because he was nearing it and that perhaps it was normal for such memories to surface.

"Should we make camp? Wait until morning before carrying on?" Dwalin suggested, turning to his leader and looking for answers.

Thorin sighed heavily and again ran his hand over his hair.

"Yes." She answered for him, "With Bombur out for the count we won't get far, and leaving him isn't an option. So, I think we should move up stream and," she turned to Dwalin, "as you say make camp for the night. Was say you, Thorin?"

Finishing she faced Thorin, in his expression she saw the proudness of a father that had raised a son well. It made a change from the anger she had seen in him earlier.

She was familiar with the expression have out lived several generations of apprentice assassin's. She had first seen it on her proper initiation. The parents of her fellow initiates were almost embossed with the look, she however had the ever-doubting face of her tutor bearing down on her. Though she had loathed him in life, in death she had realised his worth and all he had done for her.

Seeing this in Thorin was somehow fulfilling, it was like she had finally returned from that four day survival trek and been truly accepted. The sly smirk that crossed his lips was even more so fulfilling.

"Yes… we shall make camp… and tomorrow we will, no matter how long it takes, leave this place! I can't bear to spend another day here!" he answered.

The others mumbled in agreement and made swift work of lifting Bombur up into a transportable position. When they had the moved up stream and settled down for the night.

* * *

Hours past and with no light it was impossible to tell whether it was dawn or not.

Kili sat upright against a tall tree, Braerka's head resting soundly on his right shoulder and his brother's on his left. He was much warmer for still wearing the soul Reaver and the others had noticed, some had tried to stay a close to him as possible for heat. So there they laid, huddled close together in the silent dark of Mirkwood, the majority of them asleep.

He unlike the others found it difficult to sleep, the constant darkness though not frightening to a dwarf of his age was unsettling, the thought of not being able to see what was coming unnerved him, and with those on watch not able to see much either, it made him more comfortable to keep his own eyes open.

Braerka shifted against him and slide down him, her head coming to a rest on his lap. With his hand now free he stroked her softly, revelling in the somewhat private moment. He was concerned, no… he was terrified for her. With all that had been going on with her he feared for her sanity, while he had had these concerns before they were rekindled when she had spoken to the crystal that now hung around his neck.

Ceasing the stroking action he untucked it from his shirt and regarded it closely.

"What are you?" he whispered to it, it dark purple colouring flashed a brilliant blue at him, as if to tell him _'mind your own business'_. He shook his head not understanding how such a thing could exist or how it could hold such powers as it did. Things like this crystal existed only in myths and fairy tales, but as they say there is some truth in the stories, no matter how small.

Tucking the gem under his shirt again he looked up more than surprised to see distant light like earlier. He looked to Nori who was on lookout, clearly not doing a good job, and then to Braerka, he would have to wake her. As much as he didn't want to, this may be the only other chance they would have of meeting these people, whoever they were.

He shook her lightly, she groaned lightly and rose, stretching as she did.

"What is it?" she mumbled, having clearly had a good kip. He hushed her and pointed to the lights. Immediately she was awake and moving silently across the camp heading straight for Thorin and attracting the attention of those who were also waking.

Kili shot up silently and made after her not taking a second to heed the loud groan of pain from Fili as he fell flat against the ground from lack of support.

"What the hell Kili?!" he thundered, several of the company including Bilbo hushed him. He eyed them rebelliously but calmed himself noticing what the fuss was all about.

Kili was soon joined by his brother and the whole company soon after was ready in waiting for his order. He looked to his uncle for command.

"We approach silently and when we're close enough we make ourselves known, no-one makes a sound! You hear me! Not until I give the order!" he whispered huskily so all could hear, "Keep your weapons ready, we don't know who they are and I'm not going to take any chances!"

Silently the listened and in unison they nodded. In the seconds before they began moving Kili winked at Braerka she smirked in response, unaware of the meaning behind it.

Thorin lead them as silently as he could through the underbrush and tightly packed trees of the forest, the light coming ever closer and hopefully not about to move anywhere soon.

He moved into position and tried to get a clear view but unable called upon Braerka to ascend a nearby tree for a better vantage. Nimbly and silently she went, Thorin moved up and forward in an attempt to get as close as possible.

The others close by stayed quiet and watched. Every now and then they would move forward but only when he waved them on. He was judging this closely there was no room for error, not now.

As close as he could manage he poked his head around the tree trunk and internally cursed his luck, _'Elves!'_ he cursed silently. They sat happily around their campfire clad in their emerald garb, their pale hair matching their pale complexion. He snarled internally at them, but soon realised this would probably be the only way to find their way, he looked to his right upon seeing Braerka's shadowy figure appear. Her eyes ever-glowing in their ethereal glow pleaded with him to overlook their race and to think of his starving friends.

Taking no-more than a matter of seconds to decide he called out to them and tried to make peace, but again the light went out.

* * *

The first she saw was a young pale haired elf, leap to his feet on Thorin's entry. The other quickly followed suit grabbing their weapons and the fire, like magic, ceasing its existence.

Fear and worry struck her heart and she leapt out of her hiding place sword drawn and ready for anything, she yelled as she did. The others ran in charging madly at the new darkness. She cursed under her breath.

"What's going on?" asked Balin, looking around in disarray. "Thorin? Where is he? Thorin?!"

Unable to give him an answer and becoming ever more worried when Thorin didn't either, she spun on the spot and tried to find.

The others in as much panic began to spread out, if they did that they were surely doomed to be lost in this place forever.

She spun again cursing subconsciously, before catching a glimpse of the pale blonde hair from earlier vanishing into the trees.

Not thinking and desperate for answers she ran towards it. Ignoring Kili's and other pleas to stop she ran onward, the sound of her heart drowning everything out. She didn't come this far and protect Thorin for this long for a bunch of wood elves to snatch him.

She sprinted through the trees leaping over bushes and rock cutting down any in too inconvenient a place. She hacked her way onwards, following the barely visible white speck.

Then it vanished. She came to a quick a stop as she could. Breathless from her run she panted heavily as she searched in vain for whoever she had been following.

The sound of heavy footsteps behind her quickened her already racing heart she spun on the spot and froze at the clashing of her sword and Kili's. She looked into his eyes, a faint trace of fear was slowly fading from them.

She lowered her sword and sighed, ruffling her hair wildly as she did.

Another set of footsteps sounded from behind them, she started to raise her sword but Kili, stopped her swiftly, knowing it could only be one of the others. Seconds later Fili came into view.

"What the hell are you doing?!" he shouted accusively at her. She remained silent. "Fine, don't answer me! We're just lost in the middle of nowhere, in a cursed forest!"

"It's NOT cursed!" she spat back at him, moving offensively towards him, anger and fury burning in her. She breathed uncontrollably and tried desperately to calm herself.

Fili gave her a questioning look, his brows raised high in disbelief.

"Alright, maybe not cursed, but there's something definitely wrong with it!" he sniped back, trying to calm himself down.

Minutes passed in silence, "So what now?" Fili asked, unsure of what to do himself, "I don't suppose going back the way we came will help?"

She stood near him, stroking her chin and deep in thought, _'No, going back is pointless and if we try to move we just get more lost…' _she thought. She shook her head and turned on the spot and began to slowly pace up and down.

"So, any ideas? Anything at all?" Fili pressed her.

"NO FILI!" she yelled loudly at him, she wiped her brow and calmed herself once more, "Sorry… I just… I don't know what to do." She told him.

He listened closely and nodded in acceptance.

She paced up and down again, stressing over their situation and not finding any resolve. Her mind was blank, the one time she desperately need an idea her mind was empty. Any other time her head would be overflowing with stratagems and other things to help her out, but now that she really needed them, they were silent.

"I don't mean to be rude or anything, but if you could hurry up I would be most glad of it!" Fili started. Braerka sighed and Kili huffed at him.

"Who put me in charge anyway?!" she asked him.

"Well, one you are the oldest and therefore the most experienced of us and two you're The Shepard of the Forests'! Doesn't that at least count for something?!" he pointed out sharply, waving his arms up.

"It's only a title Fili, it doesn't really mean much anymore…" she explained. Fili was about to argue when he through his hands up in defeat and marched across to the next nearest tree.

"You're being awfully quiet!" he said to Kili, who was facing away from either of them and straining his head to one side.

Braerka moved to his side and gently touched his arm grabbing his attention.

"What is it?" she asked. Kili strained his head again and remained silent. She watched him and then did then same.

"Fine then ignore me! It's not like we've got the rest of the company to find or anything!" Fili snapped.

"Hush!" Braerka told him harshly.

Fili glared at her from behind and then slumped against the tree giving up all hope of getting anything from them soon.

* * *

Kili strained his ears hard trying to pick out the noise from the distance, _'What is that?'_ he wondered. Then as if by magic his hearing focused so accurately he could have been standing right beside the one who spoke. The volume of their voice multiplied tenfold and he recognised the voice. Was this the crystals doing? He had no choice to accept it was, for time was of the essence.

"Bilbo?" he said, "Do you hear him?" he then asked Braerka, and she nodded.

"Yea I hear him. Come on." She said moving in the sounds direction. Kili followed.

Fili who had just got comfortable jumped up cursing at them under his breath.

As they drew closer and closer the sound of Bilbo became clearer and clearer; to Fili anyway. To both Braerka and Kili it remained at the same volume but that didn't make following it any harder.

"Is he singing?" Fili eventually asked after some time when the noises finally became coherent.

He was hushed again by Braerka. He sighed angrily.

"I swear you hush me one more time I'll…"

"Fili!" Kili scolded him. Fili stared wide-eyed at him. He, Fili, was the older brother, he was the one that did the scolding, not Kili. But still he adhere to it, remaining quiet as they approached. Bilbo's voice becoming clearer and clearer.

"_Here am I, naughty little fly; you are fat and lazy. You cannot trap me, though you try, in your cobwebs crazy." _He sang.

"What the hell is he singing about?" Fili questioned.

"Fili please just be quiet, I don't think this is a good situation!" Kili told him.

Fili rolled his eyes and continued on.

* * *

Bilbo jumped over roots and ducked under branches, all the while singing his song. It hadn't taken long for everything to fall into chaos once the elven camp had disbanded and the Durin's and Braerka's disappearance.

Dwalin and Balin had taken charge and had led them into a nest of gigantic spiders. Bilbo being small enough and lucky enough to have his magic ring barely escaped their clutches, and was now hatching his rescue plan.

Skipping through the forest and chucking rocks at the unnatural creatures the last thing he expected to find was Braerka and Fili and Kili, wandering in his general direction.

"Hey over here!" he began calling, to both the spiders giving chase to him and to them.

He jumped and waved his hands wildly trying to attract their attention. They couldn't seem to see him so he ran at them, consequently leading the spider towards them too.

As he approached them he saw the raise their weapons, he slipped behind Braerka and waited while she dispatched the spider that leapt at her, it green blood staining her sword.

"Yuk!" Kili spat. "I hate spiders!"

"My thoughts exactly!" Bilbo agreed. He was surprised when all three of them spun in shock their weapons raised again.

"Who's there?" Fili commanded. Kili and Braerka stood silently beside.

"It's me!" Bilbo gasped.

"Bilbo?" Braerka questioned moving forward a few steps. "Where are you?"

'_Oops…'_ he thought, he was still wearing his ring and hadn't quite gotten used to being invisible. He swiftly removed it, making the others jump.

"Wow! How did you do that?" Kili asked him his mind blown.

"No time to explain, the others need your help!" he told them

"Where?" was Braerka's only response.

"Nearby," he said pointing in their general direction, "I'll distract the spiders." He said slipping on the ring and audibly running off and call out at them.

* * *

"Attercop, Attercop! Can't catch me!" she heard him call out.

The distant pattering of the spiders came and passed them, they hid as best they could behind the trees as they passed, butchering the few that became too interested in their scent.

"Come on!" Braerka waved them on after she was certain they'd passed.

They sprinted through the underbrush and soon found the others, trapped in silken cases of the spider's webs. Each hanging in their own pod unconscious and probably unaware of everything going on around them.

"Cut them down!" she ordered but she didn't have to, Fili and Kili had no sooner seen them and were trying their hardest to get them down.

Soon they were all down and slowly coming to their senses. Braerka was pulling a more than dazed Ori to his feet when she heard hissing and the pattering of the spiders returning to claim their supper.

"Hurry! Come on!" she yelled speedily nursing Ori up and into a run, "Come on! Fili lead the way!" she shouted.

"Where?" he asked quickly running past her and taking the lead.

"Anywhere!" she told him, raising her sword and sticking it deep into the body of a spindly spider.

Another jumped at her from above and she just about raised her blade to skewer it as it fell.

Kili joined her in fending off the waves of spiders. Braerka stuck another one of them and grabbed his hand and pulled him into a run.

"There's too many run!" she told him.

They sped together through the trees the lower branched whipping their faces as they ran. They came to a halt meeting the others, who still groggy from the spiders poison, weren't able to keep a constant pace.

"This way hurry!" Fili growled at them, pulling those who had fallen to their feet and pushing them onwards.

"We're going to need a miracle to get us out of this one!" Braerka said aloud.

"Hold on a sec…" Kili said, untucking the Soul Reaver from his shirt, "Could this be of any help?"

"You are a genius!" she rejoiced, taking it from his hand and sparing a millisecond to kiss him.

She held it in her palm it colour slowly returning to its pale blue. _'You had better work!'_ she told it.

"_Of course anything to keep you safe."_ It responded.

What seemed like hundreds of huge spiders came scuttling towards them. She gripped the crystal tight undeterred by their number and faithful in the crystal.

"What are you doing Braerka? We need to go!" Fili cried to her.

She ignored him and held her position.

"You may want to look away!" she called back. Without thinking and almost completely instinctively she raised the Reaver in front of her enemy and closed her own eyes.

* * *

Braerka felt a shockwave of heat and heard a unified screech before her. It was not until all was silent that she opened her eyes. Before her lay the smouldering and burnt out corpses of their would-be killers. Each and every spider lay blackened their bodies charred by the heat.

As terrible as this destruction was she felt relief as this outcome. She cradled the crystal and thanked it silently.

Smiling she turned to the others. The all stood taken aback and shocked at the mess before them.

"Holy sh-" Ori began but was cut short by Dori's hand just making it to cover his mouth.

"Yeah… wow!" Kili finished.

Braerka walked up to him and tossed the crystal over to him. Warily his held it and once he was sure of its allegiance and when it had changed to purple his slipped it back on.

The whole company stood in silence. Taking a moment to recount what had happened and to ensure they were all fine and in one piece.

It was in this time they had discovered that Bombur had no recollection of the events prior to his almost drowning. He had regained consciousness shortly before they had found the elven camp.

"Where's Thorin?" he asked, concerned about their leaders whereabouts.

"Taken, by elves." Balin told him with a heavy tone in his voice that rang of defeat and also of anger.

Now they were all recovering their strength and mentally preparing for what happened next.

"We're going to get him back." She told Balin bluntly. She hadn't forgotten why she had ended up running off and now they were, in a manner of speaking, safe. She could put her rescue into action.

Bilbo then popped out of nowhere having removed his ring and nodded to them all in greeting.

"You did brilliantly Bilbo!" Braerka commended him.

"What did he do?" spat Fili, annoyed at not getting any credit.

"By Mahal you are such a child!" she moaned, "He was the one who distracted the spiders, he was the one who showed us where to find them!"

He looked into her eyes, revelling in the tension of the moment. She smirked at him, and then gave him a pat on the back. "Well done you! You succeeded in staying alive and remaining your annoying self!" she said sarcastically to him, giving him the praise he so desperately sought.

"Haha!" he laughed.

Second afters saying this she was up and marching off like a shot.

"Come on" she told them. No-one questioned her, they only hurried themselves to their feet to keep up. Kili was at her side in a flash and they were all seemingly oblivious.

* * *

What happened next no-one could have predicted. Elves shot out of the trees from all directions. The company was surrounded in seconds, the elves swiftly disarmed them and made short work of bind theirs hands.

Braerka struggled against them, having no love for them and the way they were being treated by them. She pushed and pulled and stopped only when the cold edge of an elven dagger met the skin of her throat.

She looked up and followed the arm at the end of the dagger to a familiar face. The pale blonde elf from earlier the one she had followed. He was crouched before her, he brilliant blue eyes piercing her.

"Well, what have we here? More dwarves!" he scoffed looking at the others. "And you, woman! What might you be?"

She wondered at his words, was it not obvious she was human? Perhaps he'd never seen a human before… unlikely. She returned his piercing gaze and remained silent.

"Fine… you will come with us then… my father has many unique ways of loosening obstinate tongues." the elf told her. "Chain them together, I don't want any of them getting away!" he then ordered.

As he walked away she mustered up the courage to ask him one question, one she needed answered.

"And who might your father be?"

He stopped and turned to face her, his eyes less intimidating from a distance.

"He is Thranduil, King of the Woodland Realm" he answered kindly.

"And you?"

"His son and heir Legolas…" he said smoothly. "Enough chat, move now, quickly!"

They were all bound by their hands, their weapons taken and now they were being marched to Thranduil's Kingdom. If this is where they had brought Thorin he wouldn't take to kindly to it, especially if brought in chains.

Braerka obeyed them though. Believing the only way to get out of Mirkwood alive to be through the elves. She looked around noticing Bilbo was nowhere to be seen, he was making a habit of vanishing in sticky situations. Still she hoped he would find his way and make it out alive, he was after all a resourceful hobbit and perhaps he wasn't too far away.

Regardless of whatever hopes or possibilities lay before them and as far as they had come, they weren't out of the woods yet.

* * *

**AN: Here you go as promised Chapter 23, hope you enjoyed, please R&R, and especially review, I am dying of review withdrawal, and i love hearing what you guys think, it's what keeps me writing when I want to stop ;)**

**Next one is coming soon, stay tuned...**


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